Have you ever tried friend zoning a girl when she goes cold?

[pancakepalace]

I'm wondering if this technique could work. Usually, you want to go NC when a girl goes cold. You messed up somehow, maybe you were too needy or pursued too much. I'm wondering if using reverse psychology and actually backing off while at the same time proposing being only friends could work. She might reassess what she thought about you. Wonder if you were ever interested at all, etc...

 

[wifehunter]

Yes, when they go cold, it turns me off anyway.

 

[bigneil]

Yes, this is exactly what I did.

Me: Ok, see you at 7pm.
Her: Uh oh, I just remembered I have to go to court.... can we do lunch instead?
Me: No.
Her: Why can't we ever have a lunch date?
Me: I think we should just be friends.
Her: (3 hours later) Agreed.
Her: (18 hours later) (Long confession of love).

 

[EyeBRollin]

Yes, this is exactly what I did.

Me: Ok, see you at 7pm.
Her: Uh oh, I just remembered I have to go to court.... can we do lunch instead?
Me: No.
Her: Why can't we ever have a lunch date?
Me: I think we should just be friends.
Her: (3 hours later) Agreed.
Her: (18 hours later) (Long confession of love).

Turning down a counter offer. What great advice.....

Not.

I'm wondering if this technique could work. Usually, you want to go NC when a girl goes cold. You messed up somehow, maybe you were too needy or pursued too much. I'm wondering if using reverse psychology and actually backing off while at the same time proposing being only friends could work. She might reassess what she thought about you. Wonder if you were ever interested at all, etc...

Unnecessary. Read the DJ Bible.

When she goes cold, you simply withdraw. Never propose to be "just friends."

 

[Serenity]

Pook states in his book that he has great success with friend approach.
Just sayin could be somthin too it

A friend approach is different from already dating and then friendzone. I'm not saying it won't work once in a while, but I'm pretty sure many would just agree to be friends and actually mean it...

I think just withdrawing is better, although it does often have the same effect of them just agreeing it's going to stay that way. At least then you don't have a girl as a friend when that's not actually what you'd want.

 

[pancakepalace]

I think it could work if you've been needy and pursued too much, because it will be so unexpected.

 

[dude99]

I'm wondering if this technique could work. Usually, you want to go NC when a girl goes cold. You messed up somehow, maybe you were too needy or pursued too much. I'm wondering if using reverse psychology and actually backing off while at the same time proposing being only friends could work. She might reassess what she thought about you. Wonder if you were ever interested at all, etc...

It works great because most women aren't used to being rejected/friend zoned and see you as a huge challenge.

They try even harder to get your attention when they think you aren't interested

 

[bigneil]

Turning down a counter offer. What great advice.....

A lunch date with a girl you were having sex with is not a counter offer. It's a compromise. Anyhow, this isn't my advice. You haven't studied the masters.

"Never do things friends do like lunch dates" - Coach Corey Wayne

 

[zekko]

"Never do things friends do like lunch dates" - Coach Corey Wayne

That sounds like acting out of fear to me (don't do a lunch date, or she'll think of you as a friend).
Nothing at all wrong with a lunch date IMO.

Although in your case, it does sound like it was offered up as a consolation prize. But going out on a lunch date in general? Nothing wrong with that.

 

[bigneil]

That sounds like acting out of fear to me (don't do a lunch date, or she'll think of you as a friend).
Nothing at all wrong with a lunch date IMO.

Although in your case, it does sound like it was offered up as a consolation prize. But going out on a lunch date in general? Nothing wrong with that.

In my case I was right. She wanted to drop the bomb during lunch and tell me she was dating her new roommate who is 21. I was always one step ahead of her. I predict now that 4th of July is over she will suddenly start feeling nostalgic about what we had. She needed to replace me with daddy's love, her 75 year old sugar daddy's wallet and her 21 year old roommate's home (and penis). There is a special room in purgatory where she be locked with all three of them for a long time.

 

[Mike32ct]

I think David D suggested this way back. He said to tell her that you think she'd make a "nice friend."

It sounds like an interesting way to wind up her hamster.

I would guess that its effectiveness would depend on how attractive she finds the guy.

 

[Glassguy]

I recently had a woman who had medium interest. Meaning she would text and chat but would balk a little when I offered drinks.

She mentioned wanting to go out on my boat and I told her that I was going out that weekend. She pulled the same "I will let you know if I can make it".

I said "No problem. If you can, great, if you cant thats ok too. Just wanting to make sure that you know its just as friends".

After I sent her that, she couldnt wait to go. She sent back "I really want to go, I think it will be so much fun. But really? Friends?".

I said "Hey look, I offered dinner/drinks and it never worked out. I dont have a problem with you jumping on board when I am already going out on my boat but its best to keep it as friends at this point".

After that, it was like game on. It was like when I said "as friends" she couldnt take me rejecting and withdrawing my previous offer for dinner.

This chick has a 9 face and a solid 8.5 body. I am not saying this works all the time as some chicks will just lose attention completely because they cant string you along as an orbiter at that point and they already know their interest isnt going to change.

But if a chick is interested and playing a little hard to get, just withdraw attention, never chase, and try the "you're probably right. We would do so much better as just friends".

And you will, because if she isnt putting forth the effort for your attention she doesnt deserve it. And as just friends you will have no problem giving her no attention. Just like other "friends" lol.

 

[pancakepalace]

I might try it for fun. Like if you are needy and pursue too much, you give her validation way too easily. Telling her she would make a "nice friend" is a way to ripe away that validation and remove the pedestal.

 

[pancakepalace]

@Glassguy - That's awesome, and I'm not surprised it worked.

 

[Glassguy]

It works, but you have to sell it. Make it seem as if you are completely indifferent and aloof and it makes no difference to you if she wants to "hang out as friends" or not. I had/have other options and at that point I wasnt as into her as I was when I asked her to dinner a month or two before.

This particular woman met up with me and we went boating. For the first hour or so there was no kino, nothing flirty at all from me. About an hour in she was like "do you not find me attractive or what?". I told her that I did when I asked her to drinks a while back, but my interest went other places when she didnt enthusiastically jump on the offer. I even said at one point "you are going to make a good friend to hang out with now and then because you are definitely fun to hang out with".

Long story short, about an hour into it and she was sitting closer and closer, started playfully elbowing me and lightly slapping my leg, etc. I pulled the "friends dont do this sort of stuff", which she said "I think you want to be more than friends". I told her if she was a good kisser, I would consider it". Well she was and we hooked up several times but unfortunately after a woman plays too much cat and mouse with Glassguy, he becomes less interested and they go from potential gf material to plate material lol.

 

[pancakepalace]

Ya, I would. I already started hanging out with other girls, so I wouldn't care anyways. I already chalked it down as a loss. So, I truly have no expectations.

@Glassguy - great stuff.

 

[nismo-4]

I miss this guy's posts!

Enter the judge.

I think David D suggested this way back. He said to tell her that you think she'd make a "nice friend."

This has to be calibrated and she has to have some interest in you. She also cannot have already friendzoned you.

It sounds like an interesting way to wind up her hamster.

Or wind up friendzoned yourself. This is good in theory, but it depends on the situation.

I would guess that its effectiveness would depend on how attractive she finds the guy.

Doesn't the effectiveness of anything depend on the guy's looks, money, and status? I'll also add in what the girl has and is looking for at the time too.

Read between the lines.

Pull this move on a girl who's unattracted to you and finds you useless or a beta, see what happens.

 

[Trump]

Usually, you want to go NC when a girl goes cold. You messed up somehow, maybe you were too needy or pursued too much. I'm wondering if using reverse psychology and actually backing off while at the same time proposing being only friends could work. She might reassess what she thought about you. Wonder if you were ever interested at all, etc...

So a girl goes cold on you; she doesn't want to talk to you, see you, have sex with you, or have anything to do with you. And you want to call her and say "let's be friends?"

Come on bro, she's already told you to go to hell by pretending you don't exist. Have some self respect and move on. Find a girl who likes you and is attracted to you.

 

[pancakepalace]

Lol, no! If she isn't talking to me at all, then it would be ridiculous to call her up and ask to be friends. Super weak.

I'm talking about when her interests is lowering, maybe she did a **** test and you didn't pass with flying colours, etc... She's still talking to you, but you feel that she is pulling back. The timing would have to be perfect. She pulls back just a bit too much, and instead of going no contact at that point, you just bail ask to be friends, and start looking at other girls. The idea is that it must come before the point of no return, where she still has some interest. To shake her up.

 

[bigneil]

I have studied the masters, and I don't consider Corey Wayne to be one. I have no idea what is supposed to qualify him as one.

I do lunch dates with established plates. Typically a weekday thing just to keep a plate spinning. With plenty of PDA.

The paranoia coming from the quote is precisely because Corey Wayne is beginner stuff. And with beginners, you have to give some rigid rules so that they don't get friendzoned.

What has Coach Corey Wayne said that was beginner stuff?

Anyhow, it's moot. When my girl was more interested, if I tried to cancel a date, she would send 6 texts and 2 emails and be willing to do anything for me to go. Once she started seeing someone else, when I declined lunch she didn't even push for dinner, so I walked away. I only want girls who are willing to do anything to see me.

Lunch is bad for 3 reasons:

1) It's the day time.
2) It's what friends do.
3) Sex can almost never happen.

Also, my boss had just asked me to carry the team and it was bad timing for her to ask for lunch when she did.

In my last relationship we spent about 50% of the time we were together in bed. We had sex on the first date and the last date. It couldn't last, but I didn't want to water it down with friendly lunch dates. I literally chose to end my relationship over getting lunch with her.