Have you ever ruined something good?

[Hal9000]

Was married for a long time and gradually ceded all control to her. She wasn't that bad at first but the more I gave in to her every demand, in an attempt to finally make her happy, the more she resented me. This went on until she lost all respect for me and started cheating.

I thought being agreeable, being a typical nice guy and giving her what she wanted was the key to being a good husband but in reality women see much of this kind of behavior as weakness.

I've wondered if I had maintained a stronger frame and put her in her place when I needed to instead of just rolling over would have led to an entirely different outcome and it's definitely possible. All the young guys out there should avoid these pitfalls as they are easy to fall into when you're with someone you care about and want to make happy. Some of that is great of course but don't be a doormat.

 

[soulforge]

Yes, but I never lost "the one", I lost many "good ones" but even as a kid I have been stubborn and headstrong. So whilst I ruined many good things, they weren't my happily ever after and I am what matters in this story, not them. She's still out there somewhere and when I meet her I'll be in a better frame now than I have ever been in my life. IMO that's a good basis for something meaningful. Or maybe I'll keep chasing greatness that can never be achieved and end up crazy, I feel halfway there.

Zero Regrets Here. I've always tried to think thru things before I pulled the trigger, and when you do you usually make the right decision. I've always tried to do what was right and become a better person. I expected the same from them, and when I didn't get that I usually ended it.

Eventually you learn nothing is guaranteed, you just appreciate the good times and leave the bad behind.

Same.. I try my best not to mistreat a girl, I don't simp over them, I just won't be a total cvunt to them either.. It's all about balance.

If they treat me in a way I don't like, I will remain patient & give them a few opportunities to fix up.. I will communicate with them that the behaviour needs to improve.

If they still don't head my warnings, then I will dump her and walk away.

If you did everything in your power to guide the relationship to a healthy place & she didn't value your guidance, then it's not a big loss and no reason to live your life with regrets.