Have you ever gone to a bar or club alone and made it work?

[Eternal_water]

Do you ever go to a bar or a club alone and make for work for you?


I'm aware that I need to get out there more and I do enjoy going out too.

The tragic part is, I currently have no friends to go out with. So I couldn't go to a bar or club unless I went by myself. Obviously people do that all the time on TV and in the films and it looks as natural as the countryside but somehow I get the idea reality is a very different story.

 

[Chamber36]

Yeah I done it before. Works sometimes but you gotta be motivated.

I was sittin at the bar by myself when a classload of girls from france walked in. So I just waited for one to stand next to me and said: "tu as ici avec l'ecole?", she laughed, and I eventually got a lil make-out.

I've done it other times as well. I was just smokin a cigarette and a girl asked me if I wanted to dance. So I just said "yeah" and got make-out on the dancefloor.

I don't do it as much anymore though, because I don't want to drink too much.

I'd say it's best to go by yourself when there's not too many people in the bar/club. That way you don't have to social proof as much.

 

[bigneil]

Absolutely. It's the best unless you have a really good wing man, which is rare.

 

[sicsec]

Going out by yourself has its pros and cons. Talk to people at or around the bar to become friends and meet girls that way. Bartenders are usually cool when the place isnt packed. Cons of going out with a wingman is sometimes that dude has more game than you and girls dig him more than you, it never fails and kinda sucks when that is the case.

 

[Eternal_water]

I mean like a nightclub, there aren't any bands its just a Dj and a crowded dance floor.

Could a 21 yr old pull it off?

 

[bigneil]

I like to play pool and darts. If you can dominate there the women approach you.

 

[Eternal_water]

I like to play pool and darts. If you can dominate there the women approach you.

erm, who do you play pool with though?? You've gone alone

 

[floydb25]

I don't do those scenes anymore, but definitely. I wouldn't go alone, but wouldn't stay with my group. We'd run into each other, play some pool, shoot the ****, and hang out, but for the most part, I'd drift apart and stay by myself. This is when women would come to me in droves. Whether on the dance floor, outside smoking, sitting down, or just chillin somewhere.

I think they find it less intimidating when you're by yourself, or with a small crowd. It's also more personal, and makes it easy to approach. I didn't have a bunch of friends with me, and didn't mack on any girls, so you can put the whole social status nonsense to rest. None of the girls thought I was a loser for being a loner. I didn't need to be around other girls for them to notice me. In fact, they figured it was a great opportunity to come up and start a conversation - when I was alone, seemingly bored, and there were no distractions around. The whole player / social image is way overblown. I think they just want to know you're desirable, have value, won't settle, aren't desperate, etc - not necessarily competing for you. Most opt out of this. But I definitely wasn't the passive nice guy crying in the corner. Well, everything except the last part, anyway.

One thing I did have, though, was the looks. Not much confidence back then, and was pretty shy / reserved. Never approached anyone, ever. Didn't seem to matter, but ended up with a lot of jerks and players. They tend to do most of the approaching. Gotta watch out for the aggressive biatches.

 

[TonyBaloney]

People who go to the club or bar alone are weirdos.

To be honest with you, San Jose I think may hold the "normal" view....

Its a shame that people do think like this, but I guess its human nature to shun an outsider until proven innocent, or like he's not a nutcase or something.

I consider myself an Alpha; I have had many girls and have my own business, some friends and family, and some plates, but still have alobe times with no one to go out with.

I am just too conscious of the "San Jose" viewpoint of the world, and especially worried that other Alpha or Betas who I know may view me as less Alpha if I am seen alone........

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

When you guys are macking to girls are you telling these girls who you roll with? Are you standing next to these guys?

Whenever I go to the bar and club I always go with at least one of my fraternity brothers (I don't really mess with a lot of dudes). Whenever we enter the spot those guys will not see me until the end of the night unless we are strolling in the club (black greek frat thing) or fighting in club. I'm like a lion in the jungle going around the club and having a good time. Scoping out the females and chopping it up with the females I like. These girls have no clue if I came there by myself or came with people because I always approach them by myself.... not with homies.

Now if your that insecure you gotta go with a bunch of people and stay with them to "fit in" then there is some confidence lacking within.

 

[Chamber36]

TBH it does help to bring 1 friend in the case of a 2-set. You can do coordinated attacks.

And if you want to hit the club and none of your friends do, you gotta go alone. I go out solo probably more than 50% of the time.

However I do prefer to go with a friend, whether they're good wingmen or not. Relying on women to have a good time (relying on women for anything for that matter) is not going to get you very far. So it's best to bring a friend you can shoot the sh!t with.

I also noticed that when I went with a group of 8 people I had much more social value than I usually do.

 

[bigneil]

erm, who do you play pool with though?? You've gone alone

Per international rules you put your quarters up and you play winner. Then you win 10 straight games and the whole bar loves you, including the girlfriends of all the beta men you beat, who are hanging out with their friends.

People who go to the club or bar alone are weirdos.

As you hump your boyfriends leg the whole night.

On the contrary, Alpha men don't need to hang out with Betas to hook up.

 

[Mike32ct]

Yeah I done it before. Works sometimes but you gotta be motivated.

Very true.

I was sittin at the bar by myself when a classload of girls from france walked in. So I just waited for one to stand next to me and said: "tu as ici avec l'ecole?", she laughed, and I eventually got a lil make-out.

Priceless

I've done it other times as well. I was just smokin a cigarette and a girl asked me if I wanted to dance. So I just said "yeah" and got make-out on the dancefloor.

I don't do it as much anymore though, because I don't want to drink too much.

I'd say it's best to go by yourself when there's not too many people in the bar/club. That way you don't have to social proof as much.

That is the part I want to emphasize. It's very important to either get there early or go out on a slow night when you go solo. It's VERY hard to walk into a packed bar/club and fuction alone.

But when there aren't many people, solo works quite well.

 

[bigneil]

That is the part I want to emphasize. It's VERY hard to walk into a packed bar/club and fuction alone.

Not when you're the man. On a good night, every head will turn. Every set of eyes will be on you. When you look around the room, every girl will break her stare and will look at the ground in submission, their eyes falling like dominoes. Some of you have experienced this if you were in top shape.

As Doc Love would say: Do you think Brad Pitt is afraid to go to the club alone?

 

[Eternal_water]

Think I'll give it a go with a quiet bar then, what sort of openers do you usually use when you try to talk to someone and what topics do you tend to talk about?

 

[bigneil]

You don't open. You look for buying signals. When they like you they hold eye contact and smile. Then it doesn't matter what you say, but you have three seconds to say anything. "Hi" is considered the best line. By that point she has already selected you.

Many men get mad at this point because they don't experience this. They should instead focus on diet and exercise and being radiant.

 

[Rubirosa]

I used to do it all the time.....I guess it was pretty ballsy, but the truth is that I didn't have that many friends LOL.

Just go up to some dude "Hey, do you know if that chick over there is here alone tonight ?" If the guy is cool, say "I'm going to the bar, what kind of beer do you want ?".Boom !!! You got a guy to hang with so you don't feel alone (If that bugs you)

But I didn't even do that.....I would just go up to chicks and ask them to dance....Dance awhile, then go to the bar and get a drink.....Dance awhile, then go to the bar and get a drink...didn't matter if I arrived alone or not...I was too busy workin' it

 

[Eternal_water]

So you guys could be completely happy sitting in a bar by yourself having a quiet drink and you wouldn't be self conscious?

I reckon thats probably the real trick.

If you can not be self conscious on your own you suddenly give off a much better vibe.

Just have to work on that self conscious part haha

 

[floydb25]

So you guys could be completely happy sitting in a bar by yourself having a quiet drink and you wouldn't be self conscious?

I reckon thats probably the real trick.

If you can not be self conscious on your own you suddenly give off a much better vibe.

Just have to work on that self conscious part haha

Not really. It's in my dimenor and personality to be this way. I'm laid back, quiet, distant, and reserved. Doesn't matter where I am, or what I'm doing. Was always the loner type, but have no problems socializing and making friends.

 

[evansblue]

The problem with wingmen (in my experience) is that they all have different skill levels and ideas about how to get women. Most of my friends wanted to sit at the bar and wait for women to approach them. What ends up happening is a fat bar bill and only talking to one or two girls throughout the course of the night. Another one of my friends was so drunk off three beers he had no idea what was going on.

Needless to say, I stopped running with those guys and went solo. When I'm on the prowl, I'm an approach machine and find that I get a lot more done. When I walk in a busy bar, I try to grab three or four numbers and I'm out of there. I don't sit around consuming alcohol, wondering what people think of me. I don't stick around long enough for that to happen.

Another thing that backfires about going in big groups is that logistically it just doesn't work. There's been times I've gotten four numbers in 25 minutes, and I'm ready to head off to the next bar. Well, my friends were at a different table and hadn't even collected a number yet because they were more concerned with nursing their beers.

I have a very fast-paced, get things done mentality and find I do best alone.