Have you ever dated the opposite of you !?!

[Bingo-Player]

Been dating a chick for just over 6 months

We are at the stage where she is telling me she loves me , i am still at the "take it or leave it" stage

Our physical attraction is very powerful more powerful than any ex iv'e been with

But emotionally and psychologically we are very different people

She is extroverted and enjoys the spotlight , i wouldn't go as far as saying she is "fake" but she's very ostentatious and extravagant she will definitely do well on the big stage

Conversely i edge on the side of being introverted i am confident and am happy to converse but given the option i prefer to be in small groups or on my own i also like keeping myself to myself

This can at times create friction between us, as i see some of what she does as ostentatious and unnecessary and she thinks i can be too "boring"

a great example of this is : she drives a convertible and on the weekend wanted to drive it around with the roof down it was dark and around 2 degrees

i'm sure a lot of people may find this entertaining but my brain can't really fathom this logic lol it just seems ridiculous to me given its so cold

One big positive is she definitely brings me out of my shell and forces me to be more positive , i can definitely be quite negative and pessimistic at times but when i am with her this is nigh on impossible.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Biggest problem for me at the moment is because she is so different to me something is constantly telling me i can't trust her ,

I don't know if i am just being paranoid because i am so pessimistic and have seen it all before or wether there are some red flags i am not seeing

Has anyone else had a situation where they've dated someone who's the complete opposite of them ? did it work out ?

 

[Canadian_Man]

I've been diving into Attachment Theory lately.

One of the concepts which comes up is that your mind looks for balance in life.

So, if you are someone who lacks in personality trait X, then you may value that trait in other people more highly than the average person would.

Could be a bit of that going on here, you two balancing each other out.

 

[Gamisch]

Been dating a chick for just over 6 months

We are at the stage where she is telling me she loves me , i am still at the "take it or leave it" stage

Our physical attraction is very powerful more powerful than any ex iv'e been with

But emotionally and psychologically we are very different people

She is extroverted and enjoys the spotlight , i wouldn't go as far as saying she is "fake" but she's very ostentatious and extravagant she will definitely do well on the big stage

Conversely i edge on the side of being introverted i am confident and am happy to converse but given the option i prefer to be in small groups or on my own i also like keeping myself to myself

This can at times create friction between us, as i see some of what she does as ostentatious and unnecessary and she thinks i can be too "boring"

a great example of this is : she drives a convertible and on the weekend wanted to drive it around with the roof down it was dark and around 2 degrees

i'm sure a lot of people may find this entertaining but my brain can't really fathom this logic lol it just seems ridiculous to me given its so cold

One big positive is she definitely brings me out of my shell and forces me to be more positive , i can definitely be quite negative and pessimistic at times but when i am with her this is nigh on impossible.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Biggest problem for me at the moment is because she is so different to me something is constantly telling me i can't trust her ,

I don't know if i am just being paranoid because i am so pessimistic and have seen it all before or wether there are some red flags i am not seeing

Has anyone else had a situation where they've dated someone who's the complete opposite of them ? did it work out ?

Few years ago I dated a 19 y.o woman. She was a free spirit and am naturally like yiu; introverted. Looking back dating her was revolutionary. She helped me to get a much stronger DGAF attitude. Due age differences we both knew it wouldn't last forever but mannnn, this was the best LTR I had. I messed it up by being too careful about everything.

I did however learned to be more spontaneous with women. Sometimes YOU should be the "crazy one" who opens the rooftop in the winter( and be like Easy-E ; ruthless). You wanna fck her outside ect.

I would just enjoy her company to the fullest. Dont be too paranoid. Its probably your mind telling you (rightfully so) that there must be another man on planet earth who would enjoy her company...

Never forget ,each woman we meet will teach us something about ourselves. She not yours its your turn..

 

[The Diver]

Has anyone else had a situation where they've dated someone completely opposite of them? Did it work out?

I did, for two years.
We had a lot in common, hence why it lasted two years, but we also had a few differences in critical points that we couldn't bridge, which eventually led to the breakup.

 

[Baibars]

Opposite sex yes

 

[pipeman84]

Due age differences we both knew it wouldn't last forever but mannnn, this was the best LTR I had.

I don't get this. Your maturity and life experience and her youth and lack of baggage should be a match made in heaven.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Yes the overwhelming majority of women I have dated were Feminist Sjws with daddy issues, I am conservative,traditional and patriotic about my homeland.

For the most part they only work out if the girl has an agreeable personality

 

[Gamisch]

I don't get this. Your maturity and life experience and her youth and lack of baggage should be a match made in heaven.

Yes you describe it perfectly, a match made in heaven. All we did was fck and chill. Almost never any arguments. The problems that occurred had more to do with;

- my own insecurities
- both people my and her age basically protesed against it
-she was kinda slvtty. I didn't judge her though, which made her feel " safe" with me.she had TONS of orbiters though. Type girl who would post a picture and the whole damn town starts liking her post.
- to stay on topic; the more time we spend the more I started to HATE the feeling of losing her. (To OP!) It made me look in the mirror and see how UPTIGHT I really became. Now I am fighting to keep the child inside of me alive.

For me it was needed to make a personal transition . Even losing her was neccessary.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

It's only a problem if you feel it's a problem. I know that sounds overly simplistic but in the natural world, opposites attract. It's just a universal law, protons/neutrons, love/hate, light/dark, female/male.

But there is a balance, one side can lean too heavily on its side and disrupts your natural flow of life. In this case, in your mind (and maybe hers) this disrupts one another's vibe so if you focus on that as I said, it will become a legit problem.

You either accept the differences and learn to love and respect that about her (and vice-versa) or you don't and have an honest conversation about not being on the same page, chapter, or worse book.