strong like bull
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 5, 2002
- Messages
- 498
- Reaction score
- 7
if so, how did it work out for you? 'cause i just broke the rule today. 
id been seeing this girl for a couple months. when we started, i said things like "why cant people just get together, have fun and then go their seperate ways, without getting attached?" basically, i was upfront about keeping it open and casual to begin with. was this a mistake? maybe.
but in the mean time, she showered me with affection, sex, gifts, food, drink, clothes, compassion, nuturing, everything id ask for in a partner. and i hve to add, she does all this at sort of a 50/50 deal; by that i mean, i do give back and make her feel real good and treat her well, but i dont shower her with gifts or money and supplicate like a lot of guys do. unlike the girls i had been with in the past, we get along on a level that most girls dont even know exist in me. we have a lot of fun together.
fast forward to today.
she lives with her mom and sis, and a lot of times she kind of sneaks me in late at night. they know im there ,and of course ive met them before, but very briefly. so i ask if her mom and sis have said anything about it, you know, the sneaking around.
"well, pretty much the only thing was my sister asking if you and i were together now. but i told her that we werent"
alright. shes said that to me a couple times before. she'd tell me a story in passing, that involved someone at work or maybe one of her friends, asking her if we were together, in a relationship, etc and her telling them we were just friends, just hanging out, etc etc. in my (possibly rose colored) eyes, i took this as her waiting for me to make us more than casual.
alright. i know Anti-Dumps rule. let her ask you;' let her make the proposal, because then you know for sure that she is interested. right. gotcha.
but in my dealings with this girl ive bent a couple rules, which actually did good for me. so i figured id go with my gut and give this a shot too.
on top of her little story she tells me that she doesnt want me to do the great things i do to her, to other girls. i told her thats not fair - you cant refer to me as a friend, or not together, but tell me i cant play with others. i told her that im the kind of person who has a lot to give (which she knows, trust me), but its only going to go to the one person who deserves it. not someone who casually dates a dozen guys.
she tells me "im not seeing anyone else right now, and i dont want to. and i hope you arent either. i just dont want to put a lable on things. in the past it makes me overthink and worry about the relationship. honestly, i thought putting a lable on us would scare you off" (again, due to my talking about keeping it casual)
so... i put my card on the table and told her that "im looking for that one girl to share things with. an exclusive relationship. if you like the sound of that, great. if you dont, thats alright too, be upfront and honest, just know that this is as far as we go."
she seems relieved and tells me that shed like to be exclusive- just us. knowing that her and i both (in the past at least) tend to lose interest quickly, i told her that we're going to stay honest. we'll be exclusive and have fun, but if either of us gets bored, we'll part ways.
thoughts? like i said, i know the rule, but my gut told me this was an exception. mainly because i framed the relationship in the beginning as as casual, STR fling. im very interested in seeing how this plays out; good or bad. if anything, to gain some more real experience as opposed to blindly following the "rules."
-SLB
id been seeing this girl for a couple months. when we started, i said things like "why cant people just get together, have fun and then go their seperate ways, without getting attached?" basically, i was upfront about keeping it open and casual to begin with. was this a mistake? maybe.
but in the mean time, she showered me with affection, sex, gifts, food, drink, clothes, compassion, nuturing, everything id ask for in a partner. and i hve to add, she does all this at sort of a 50/50 deal; by that i mean, i do give back and make her feel real good and treat her well, but i dont shower her with gifts or money and supplicate like a lot of guys do. unlike the girls i had been with in the past, we get along on a level that most girls dont even know exist in me. we have a lot of fun together.
fast forward to today.
she lives with her mom and sis, and a lot of times she kind of sneaks me in late at night. they know im there ,and of course ive met them before, but very briefly. so i ask if her mom and sis have said anything about it, you know, the sneaking around.
"well, pretty much the only thing was my sister asking if you and i were together now. but i told her that we werent"
alright. shes said that to me a couple times before. she'd tell me a story in passing, that involved someone at work or maybe one of her friends, asking her if we were together, in a relationship, etc and her telling them we were just friends, just hanging out, etc etc. in my (possibly rose colored) eyes, i took this as her waiting for me to make us more than casual.
alright. i know Anti-Dumps rule. let her ask you;' let her make the proposal, because then you know for sure that she is interested. right. gotcha.
but in my dealings with this girl ive bent a couple rules, which actually did good for me. so i figured id go with my gut and give this a shot too.
on top of her little story she tells me that she doesnt want me to do the great things i do to her, to other girls. i told her thats not fair - you cant refer to me as a friend, or not together, but tell me i cant play with others. i told her that im the kind of person who has a lot to give (which she knows, trust me), but its only going to go to the one person who deserves it. not someone who casually dates a dozen guys.
she tells me "im not seeing anyone else right now, and i dont want to. and i hope you arent either. i just dont want to put a lable on things. in the past it makes me overthink and worry about the relationship. honestly, i thought putting a lable on us would scare you off" (again, due to my talking about keeping it casual)
so... i put my card on the table and told her that "im looking for that one girl to share things with. an exclusive relationship. if you like the sound of that, great. if you dont, thats alright too, be upfront and honest, just know that this is as far as we go."
she seems relieved and tells me that shed like to be exclusive- just us. knowing that her and i both (in the past at least) tend to lose interest quickly, i told her that we're going to stay honest. we'll be exclusive and have fun, but if either of us gets bored, we'll part ways.
thoughts? like i said, i know the rule, but my gut told me this was an exception. mainly because i framed the relationship in the beginning as as casual, STR fling. im very interested in seeing how this plays out; good or bad. if anything, to gain some more real experience as opposed to blindly following the "rules."
-SLB