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Have toxic work environments ruined anyone else's dating life?

DEEZEDBRAH

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I have about 6 months of living expenses saved up and I did not want to use them at all, I thought I'd keep saving up in case I want to buy a house in the future. After a date today that went sour solely due to the crap I had to deal with at work, I decided that enough is finally enough. I am going to put my two weeks in Monday without another job lined up. Recruiters have been really ineffective in getting me anything other than scammy offers or just workplaces that cannot last long-term.
It's biblical the quote about only serving 1 master.

I'm a random person on the net so blindly quiting the job maybe not ideal. I can only share my personal opinion and experience.

I Have lost absurd amounts of people in my life. Since high school and college, I lost count on the body's who dropped for a number of reasons. Death stalks us all. It's coming when least expected.

You can't buy back good health. The pay, the job, the money is all replaceable. All it takes is 1 system of the body to go tits up. It's like domino's thereafter.


Chain gun your resume out. Use LinkedIn. Hell, worst case scenario, do labor or whatever you can even temporary. You aren't going to prosper in that role nor will you get wealthy. It's pointless. Even worse, you can't get the time back.

Even worse, you are seeing the remnants of the fallout in the form of poor dates or game outcomes. Have you checked your blood pressure? Had a physical? I'm betting your cortisol stress hormone is spiked.


Meditate. Pray. I trip. Explore consciousness. A silence meditation and yoga retreat would be a great detox. Austen Summers has a 10min guided meditation. You can try Eckhart Tolle. I found monumental meditation. It's a huge difference and found Ecky from Tyler. Go into nature. Do a sensory deprivation float tank. Do something out of the ordinary to shake yourself out of this state.

Your work is the epitome of anti game. It's not you. It's adventure calling elsewhere.

It is going to suck not having a regular paycheck come in but at the very least, I have enough saved up for the time being.

I have had it.
@Jesse Pinkman mate, if you are red lining it, I'd ghost or quit effective immediately. Alternatively, if you can hold go, line up alternative options, it might be a good idea.

I thought I read you are remote?

It ruined a good date for me today but even for months, I have been suffering. I have to force myself out of bed, this new manager sucks. I am not going to deal with it anymore, I am losing my sanity. No amount of promotions are worth it, I am done. I am too exhausted mentally to even go out.
It's time to get the F out.

I think every man experiences in their lifetime.

Clarey is 1 of the few RP fellas I like. He's mentioned his time in banking with sociopaths. Led him to entrepreneurship.

The future is entrepreneurship. Clarey recommended leaving corporate to Karens. I think the future play is entrepreneurship, side hustle, freelance or consulting. Not actually working directly with a corporation but consulting.

Beginning of a new path forward. Adventure beckons.
 

SW15

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Straight from the horse's mouth and it's awesome::devil:
This female CEO explains why she doesn't want to hire women. She litterally destroys the feminist seminar...
Really worth watching.

Now on top of that there has been tons of research on the subject and ardding to that 8 out of 10 women too hates working for a female boss and would rather leave than being in such environment.
This is a great post. I think what she says is also applicable to female workers outside of occupations requiring a STEM degree.

I have never enjoyed working for a female boss. I have had it happen in various jobs. Every time it has happened, it has happened after I got hired.

I have also had some bad male bosses too so female bosses are not alone with that. Female bosses are way less predictable so that's stress inducing which can spill over and affect a personal life.
 

Scars

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This is a great post. I think what she says is also applicable to female workers outside of occupations requiring a STEM degree.

I have never enjoyed working for a female boss. I have had it happen in various jobs. Every time it has happened, it has happened after I got hired.

I have also had some bad male bosses too so female bosses are not alone with that. Female bosses are way less predictable so that's stress inducing which can spill over and affect a personal life.
I prefer to deal with a female when it comes to pretty much anything, because they're easier to manipulate. Whether it's a boss, or simply ordering my food somewhere.. they become a lot less unpredictable the more you interact with them. I work for myself now, but I always preferred having a female boss. It was pretty easy to quickly become their "favorite". Not even in a romantic or flirty way either. Once you realize they're emotional creatures there is small things you can do to make them favor you. Simply asking them personal questions and seeming "genuinely" interested about their life for instance. "How are the kids?", "How was your weekend?". Being there for them when they have a bad day. "You seem a little bit upset, is everything ok?". Again, this doesn't have to come off in a romantic or creepy way, you shouldn't be flirting with your boss anyway, unless you truly dgaf. Completely removing the word "think" and replacing it with the word "feel" will greatly improve your interactions with any women, whether she's a boss or a plate. Women will subconsciously pick up on these small things. "I feel that blah blah" sounds much better to a woman than "I think that blah blah". Women in these positions just want to be respected, or at the very least made to feel equal. If you do things right they can be putty in your hands. You'll be the one calling the shots and she won't even realize it.
 

SW15

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Now try the fact that we are in a recession and companies and laying people off by the hundreds left and right, making quitting even more tough. I saved up for months and I have decided that at this point, I will just try to enjoy life for a couple of months. I have been at my current employer for well over 3 years which is huge in my industry where people job hop left and right.

I get this neurotic Italian chick as my manager this year (really late last year) who is super freaking crazy and psycho. My mind was ready to bust, she would hit me up on weekends and after work hours to get on top of stuff and then yell at me during the weekdays because I did not respond to her. So many freaking mindgames bro.
Is the chick Italian from Italy or some Italian-American likely from the Northeast? I believe it on the mind games. A 3 year stint at a company looks solid on a resume.

I have about 6 months of living expenses saved up and I did not want to use them at all, I thought I'd keep saving up in case I want to buy a house in the future. After a date today that went sour solely due to the crap I had to deal with at work, I decided that enough is finally enough. I am going to put my two weeks in Monday without another job lined up.

It is going to suck not having a regular paycheck come in but at the very least, I have enough saved up for the time being.

I have had it.

It ruined a good date for me today but even for months, I have been suffering. I have to force myself out of bed, this new manager sucks. I am not going to deal with it anymore, I am losing my sanity. No amount of promotions are worth it, I am done. I am too exhausted mentally to even go out.
I graduated into 2008 and was one of the first layoffs in 2020. I have experience job searching in the 2 worst job markets since the end of World War 2. I recommend not quitting and just job searching with a job. My 2008 job search was far worse than the 2020 one, simply because I had more experience in 2020. However, my 2020 job search took slightly over 6 months. There's a good chance you may end up with your parents. I wouldn't risk that.

I can identify with the way you're feeling after losing a date opportunity due to stress.

Recruiters have been really ineffective in getting me anything other than scammy offers or just workplaces that cannot last long-term.
In my line of work, third party recruiters are useless. I don't take any calls from them, nor do I respond to emails or texts from them. I prefer not to waste my time. I have heard they are better in certain lines of work than others, but likely not at all that useful even in some of their best lines of work.

Bro tell me about it. I am here right now unable to go out. A lot of nights I want to just pass the heck out and not even go out. I have to meditate every morning on weekends and go for a run just to find the energy to do daygame. I am negative and toxic at times too because of the kinds of people I work with and the kind of boss I had it. It all came down on me and I am going to unemployed too, given that we are in a massive recession, but whatever. I cannot deal with it anymore bro. I am almost broken and need time to recover.
Unemployed in a recession isn't a way to get chicks. Single women in 2008-2009 and 2020 didn't cut men a break for being unemployed then on the mating market. Plus, your dicck and your hormones don't care if it's a recession.
 
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I graduated into 2008 and was one of the first layoffs in 2020. I have experience job searching in the 2 worst job markets since the end of World War 2. I recommend not quitting and just job searching with a job. My 2008 job search was far worse than the 2020 one, simply because I had more experience in 2020. However, my 2020 job search took slightly over 6 months. There's a good chance you may end up with your parents. I wouldn't risk that.

I can identify with the way you're feeling after losing a date opportunity due to stress.
It’s tough because this job market is pretty shyt despite what CNN says. Plenty of bullshvt jobs at Target hiring, but good luck finding a decent one to replace his current one. However, he could benefit from a two month break and I find it easier to job search without a job vs an extremely stressful job.

Its a dice roll. I do agree that gaming chicks while unemployed is pointless unless he’s one of those World Traveling/YouTube Startup Mr.Fun Brad’s that’s funded by Daddy’s money.
 

SW15

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It’s tough because this job market is pretty shyt despite what CNN says. Plenty of bullshvt jobs at Target hiring, but good luck finding a decent one to replace his current one. However, he could benefit from a two month break and I find it easier to job search without a job vs an extremely stressful job.

Its a dice roll. I do agree that gaming chicks while unemployed is pointless unless he’s one of those World Traveling/YouTube Startup Mr.Fun Brad’s that’s funded by Daddy’s money.
I agree that the job market is shiit right now. I don't recommend quitting at all into this market. His break could exceed 6 months. It took me over a year to get hired when I graduated in 2008 and over 6 months in 2020. I also got fired in 2013 from an inept organization and was re-employed in 4 months.

I have wisdom to share in relation to both my 2013 and 2020 dismissals.

In white collar work, there are few terminations for behavioral reasons since white collar workers tend to not have attendance, behavioral, or other disciplinary issues. It's way more common for those in blue collar to have drug abuse issues, theft issues, attendance issues, or other things. In white collar work, there are occasional employee performance issues but that's often the fault of the employer for hiring someone who wasn't going to be a good fit for the job. That's also not even close to the majority of terminations in white collar work. The majority of terminations in white collar work are not the fault of the employee at all. The majority of terminations in white collar work are usually the fault of executive management of that organization devising poor business strategy and implementing that strategy through faulty tactics.

When there are white collar layoffs due to the ineptitude of executive management, they are often executed in a politically correct manner. White males are laid off first. Women are rarely victims of white collar layoffs. On the occasions where women are laid off, it is because the company is in such poor shape that they had no choice but to get rid of lesser performing women after ditching the non-protected white male class.

In 2011, Roosh wrote the definitive guide to getting laid while unemployed. No seducer, past or present, ever wrote an article about getting laid while unemployed.


I tried to apply some of the elements of this article during my 2013 stint of unemployment. I don't think it was all that easy to do. It's very difficult to convince younger women that you are worthwhile while you are unemployment, even if you are buffered by savings and investments.

My 2013 stint of unemployment was one of the best periods of my life. I was sleeping late into mornings for a couple of months, reading Manosphere content, and relaxing. I was 30 years old and when you are 30, it's one of the last periods of your life when you're still considered young enough to be irresponsible.

My woman life was affected by 2008-09 unemployment, 2013 unemployment, and 2020 unemployment.

Also, try and get something locked in before like late October because HR basically closes from November to January from my experience.
Yes. This was a major factor in my 2013 firing. I was dismissed in late September. It was mostly unexpected, as was 2020. I didn't have any momentum in a job search in September, so starting from scratch. I got my job offer in January 2014, but I had submitted my application for the job I eventually got during the holidays.

White collar work is often slow in hiring. There are often big gaps from the time that you submit a resume until you start interviewing. 2-4 weeks is normal on random resume submissions. Random resume submissions have some similarity with swipe apps and sliding into DMs on social media.

It's better to network into jobs but I've never had a good professional network. I have a fair amount of LinkedIn connections but none have been useful in job searches. In theory, white collar workers are supposed to be highly networked at all times. In theory, white collar workers need to be going to industry events while employed to build connections for when shiit hits the fan at a job. I've been to business networking events and industry association events within my line of work. I found those networking events to be a complete waste of time and useless.

The future is entrepreneurship. Clarey recommended leaving corporate to Karens. I think the future play is entrepreneurship, side hustle, freelance or consulting. Not actually working directly with a corporation but consulting.
I agree. Entrepreneurship is tough. Most business ventures fail and fail fast. I would do the entrepreneurship thing but I don't have the ability to launch and sustain a business. Leaving corporate to the Karens is a great idea in theory but difficult to implement in the real world for white collar workers. One of the best ways to avoid corporate without entrepreneurship is a blue collar/manual labor type job. Entrepreneurship is useful in the blue collar/manual labor space too. Various contractors do well as do plumbers. A guy can start his own plumbing company or HVAC repair company.

There was a reason why the main character at the end of Office Space left his white collar job for a blue collar manual labor job. It's very relatable to a lot of non-pussified white collar males.

 

Jesse Pinkman

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Funny that you post this OP, I was about to make a new post about the same topic. It must be a sign from the universe hahahah.

anyways, let me il tell you something. Right now I’m in a very comfy job that for many reasons I don’t really like.
I have more money and live in a better place, however my dating life has never been this bad. And you know why? Because I’m just not the same. I bring with me the frustration of this job I hate, the self loathing of not being able to leave yet, and the uncertainty of what I want to do next.
No matter how much I want to detach my job from my personal life, if I spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week doing something, anything, that thing is going to change me, whether I want it or not. Now the question is whether that activity is going to bring a positive or a negative change in my frame, confidence and self-image. The answer in our case is very clear.

My frame is shattered, and yours too, because there is a discrepancy between the ideal image of who you could be and who you are right now. Yous re not aligned, centred, and you are very far away from “individuation” (in Jungian terms) . Women smell this on you, since they are amazing at picking up men’s subconscious.
Dude this spoke to me so much! I mean my job is full of guys that are "dads" and whose version of success in life includes playing golf on weekends and chugging beers as they watch football. A lot of them are either married or in LTRs. To them, the idea of a guy sleeping around with random women is asinine and immature. It is just self-righteous dads and karens with families everywhere in the workplace. Then add that every 2 months I need to take a week off to travel for work and see these people in person.

In my head I am imagining a much better life where I get hot girls and live a fun life. These people just weigh on you dude. You don't realize it until a year later and then come to terms with the fact that you do not want that type of a normal life. So many people are sucked into family, football, beer, and golf.
 

SW15

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@SW15 She is from Jersey. I am going to put in my notice on Monday, I've had it.
It could be difficult to report to an Italian-American female fron New Jersey.

If you're quitting without another job lined up, how do you reconcile that action with your thread about guys in seduction needing to have their shiit together in order to seduce....?


In all 3 of my unemployment stints, I had issues in my woman life. It's more difficult to attract and to retain when unemployed even if you're doing unemployment from a financially comfortable place. Women can't comprehend living off savings and/or investments.
 

Jesse Pinkman

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It could be difficult to report to an Italian-American female fron New Jersey.

If you're quitting without another job lined up, how do you reconcile that action with your thread about guys in seduction needing to have their shiit together in order to seduce....?


In all 3 of my unemployment stints, I had issues in my woman life. It's more difficult to attract and to retain when unemployed even if you're doing unemployment from a financially comfortable place. Women can't comprehend living off savings and/or investments.
Great callout and great point.

1. I have many months of income saved up and have been actively job hunting anyways, a few going places. I am turning down places that are not fit with my lifestyle.

2. I am not going to spend unemployment JUST gaming and chasing women, I will spend it upskilling, networking, and seriously taking the time to drill down what my next ideal workplace looks like.

3. I am at a point in my career to where I get 7 to 8 recruiters a week, even now, asking me to join a company.

4. I already have 8 interviews lined up, recruiter screens really, for the week after next.

Ironically, I got laid the most during funemployment years ago!
 

SW15

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1. I have many months of income saved up and have been actively job hunting anyways, a few going places. I am turning down places that are not fit with my lifestyle.
That's very good. In 2020, I was disssatisfied with my job. In January 2020, I was already starting to interview and my plan was to leave that company in mid-2020. The onset of the pandemic changed everything. That company was toxic! Getting dismissed a few months earlier than I had wanted to leave wasn't that big of a deal, except for the fact that I didn't leave on my own terms. I had a financial buffer too. It still took me over 6 months in 2020 but it was ok. I still had some stressful moments.

2. I am not going to spend unemployment JUST gaming and chasing women, I will spend it upskilling, networking, and seriously taking the time to drill down what my next ideal workplace looks like.
It could be argued that I spent too much of my 2013 unemployment stint on seduction matters. I don't know if that extended my stint of unemployment. I had the calendar working against me then too since the termination was in September. There wasn't much time before HR departments went into their November 15-January 1 period of slumber.

Coincidentally, the November 15-January 1 period is one of the worst periods of the year for finding new dates as well.


3. I am at a point in my career to where I get 7 to 8 recruiters a week, even now, asking me to join a company.
Are these direct corporate recruiters or third party recruiters? The third party recruiters are useless but corporate recruiters can be useful in at least getting things started.

It's worth noting that most HR professionals, including those in the corporate recruiting function, are female. You can lightly use seduction tactics on female corporate recruiters that you might use on a first date.

A larger percentage of third party recruiters are male because third party recruiting is more of a sales thing than direct corporate recruiting.

4. I already have 8 interviews lined up, recruiter screens really, for the week after next.
That's good. I've never had 8 companies interview me in a week.

I got laid the most during funemployment years ago!
You're ahead of the game. That's not easy to do.
 
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Pierce Manhammer

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I used to travel for a large household name company, I had a large team in another major US metro. I spent a great deal of time there. I would stay at mid-top level resorts style hotels while on business there. I established a fairly steady harem in said metro.

One evening I was with a gal I was seeing who was a stunner, the resort in question had several bars and restaurants in it. I was sitting out at fire pit with this gal having a drink one evening and my new dumpy SVP was there he clearly saw me with this woman. He had traveled to said location unannounced.

When back from that trip, suddenly my travel budget was trimmed to ZERO, need to reduce costs ya know?

I ran one of the most successful teams in the business at said location. I’d been traveling there for more than a year to make them what they were.

Anyway, yes work did intrude on that, fortunately I continued to travel on my own budget and time.
 
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DEEZEDBRAH

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[QUOTE="SW15, post: 2961350, member: 153736"
I agree. Entrepreneurship is tough. Most business ventures fail and fail fast. I would do the entrepreneurship thing but I don't have the ability to launch and sustain a business. Leaving corporate to the Karens is a great idea in theory but difficult to implement in the real world for white collar workers. One of the best ways to avoid corporate without entrepreneurship is a blue collar/manual labor type job. Entrepreneurship is useful in the blue collar/manual labor space too. Various contractors do well as do plumbers. A guy can start his own plumbing company or HVAC repair company.

There was a reason why the main character at the end of Office Space left his white collar job for a blue collar manual labor job. It's very relatable to a lot of non-pussified white collar males.

[/QUOTE]

I saw a old KS (rip) vlog. He spoke about blue collar HENRYs (high earners not yet rich). My mate is loaded. Self made. Blue collar. Left the union. Scaled up his side hustle. Had so much work he had to get trucks. He's a Chad light. The only knock is that he's short. Not 6 feet. Million dollar biz and he's scaling up.

This is not the way for majority of fellas especially white collar. Several of my mates that crushed it in corporate are dark triad sociopaths and it's seemingly the only way to thrive. Alternatively, the skill set to thrive in corporate I'd usually (not always) contrary to entrepreneurship. One of my mates makes 250k a year in London. The upward trajectory is like a spot or two. The only thing left is entrepreneurship.

I'm think domain independence and entrepreneurship is the way forward. I'm convinced that the next root beer float **** **** is around the corner. Corporate is cuckd. If there's anything a fella can do to become anti fragile I highly recommend leveraging whatever they can.

Corporate is anti seductive. It's anti game. Every man is walking a tight rope. False accusations or any number of things can be his ultimate undoing.

Then again, you might be the lad who just simply thrives in corporate and crushes it.
 

SW15

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This is advice born of the situation you and I graduated into and has dominated our perspectives on jobs and life, but when burnout is at stake you have to throw that out of the window. Obviously it is generally applicable advice, but time off is part of the recovery process just as much as a new job is.
I needed the time off after the 2013 layoff, which is why I spent more of the time on leisure pursuits than looking for a job. The work conditions in Summer 2013 were unpleasant for me. I had an inept boss and the company had a corporate strategy that was completely fuccked. I felt relieved when I was fired from that hellhole.

The timing was good too. I was 30 year old. At 30, it's still acceptable to be unemployed and finding yourself.

My woman life in Summer-Fall 2013 was affected by the degrading work conditions and the layoff.
 
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