Have it or not your Opinion.

[CDT_154]

My first post on here and wanted to get everyone's opinion on the whole have "It" or don't have "It" theory.

Basically saying it doesn't matter what you look like; height, weight, build, looks. Women are either attracted to you or they're not. What ever theory you buy (being symmetrical, pheromones) if you don't have the "mojo" or "charm" you can't get it. It's like talent for football or what have you, you either can or can't do it.

If you've ever seen a short stubby dude that always gets girls and a tall muscular guy that can't even get the time of day from a female, this theory makes sense.

 

[joekerr31]

ok im going to get blasted for my opinions on this, but here goes anyway.

all the talk i hear about ugly dudes getting hot chics is bullsh*t. its a very very rare phenomena. and it has NOTHING to do with "it". these guys typically have some kind of social status - for instance they own / manage the hottest club in town or something - which attracts women to them.

i've yet to see, in my life, an ugly dude with an average job, yet with an amazing personality that lands hot chics. it just doesn't happen.

moreoever, talk to anyone who has ever been overweight and then got in to shape. they will tell you that the difference is night and day. once again, nothing to do with 'it' and everything to do with the basics of attraction.

i tend to look at attraction in the following manner. there are four elements...

1) physical appearance - this is the most important. without this you won't even get to the other three

2) uniqueness - we are all unique. our eye color, teeth, body shape, tone of voice, the way we carry ourselves, etc. So if a chic is physical attracted to you, she will then start to assess whether she is attracted to your mannerisms and your more unique traits.

3) personality - this is where the DJ'ing comes in to play and this is where you either fall on your face once you start dating a woman or where you enjoy the pleasure of a woman who is eager to rock your world.

4) life state - do you have a career? do you have money? are you a catch as a mate? do you have a good family? do you treat your friends well? etc. - these are all the things that have nothing to do with her BUT basically foreshadow the kind of life she would have with you.

each one of these elements is a gate in the mating process.
if she doesn't find you attractive, you aren't even goign to get in the game.

if you have the looks but she doesnt like your uniqueness odds are things fall apart after a couple of dates.

if she is attracted to you and she likes the unique things about you, but you fail on personality (ie. are an AFC, or just not what she is looking for) things will fall apart in 2-6 months.

if you've got the looks and personality, but you're life isn't in the best shape, things will tend to fall apart in 6-12 months.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

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[Frenchconnection]

Read more, post less!

Good point!

but sometimes it's good to start topics, especially for newbies such as myself. I'd consider this the discovery phase where you both read a lot and then post questions.

 

[Frenchconnection]

ok im going to get blasted for my opinions on this, but here goes anyway.

all the talk i hear about ugly dudes getting hot chics is bullsh*t. its a very very rare phenomena. and it has NOTHING to do with "it". these guys typically have some kind of social status - for instance they own / manage the hottest club in town or something - which attracts women to them.

i've yet to see, in my life, an ugly dude with an average job, yet with an amazing personality that lands hot chics. it just doesn't happen.

moreoever, talk to anyone who has ever been overweight and then got in to shape. they will tell you that the difference is night and day. once again, nothing to do with 'it' and everything to do with the basics of attraction.

i tend to look at attraction in the following manner. there are four elements...

1) physical appearance - this is the most important. without this you won't even get to the other three

2) uniqueness - we are all unique. our eye color, teeth, body shape, tone of voice, the way we carry ourselves, etc. So if a chic is physical attracted to you, she will then start to assess whether she is attracted to your mannerisms and your more unique traits.

3) personality - this is where the DJ'ing comes in to play and this is where you either fall on your face once you start dating a woman or where you enjoy the pleasure of a woman who is eager to rock your world.

4) life state - do you have a career? do you have money? are you a catch as a mate? do you have a good family? do you treat your friends well? etc. - these are all the things that have nothing to do with her BUT basically foreshadow the kind of life she would have with you.

each one of these elements is a gate in the mating process.
if she doesn't find you attractive, you aren't even goign to get in the game.

if you have the looks but she doesnt like your uniqueness odds are things fall apart after a couple of dates.

if she is attracted to you and she likes the unique things about you, but you fail on personality (ie. are an AFC, or just not what she is looking for) things will fall apart in 2-6 months.

if you've got the looks and personality, but you're life isn't in the best shape, things will tend to fall apart in 6-12 months.

This sounds like logic but I've seen women do many very unlogical things.

 

[joekerr31]

have you ever actually seen an ugly guy pick up a hot woman out of the blue?

it never happens, not in normal social environments.

sometimes you might see this say at like a hospital where some guy volunteers with dying children and some hot nurse just falls in love with him.

but otherwise, its beyond rare.

and as for the muscular guy, being muscular doesn't inherently mean you are attractive. there are lots of big huge guys who are ugly as mud.

being muscular is not the key to attracting women. being FIT is though.

 

[Trail Mix-A-Lot]

The Essence of It

Think about your life... After the work day is done, the bills paid, the teeth flossed, what do you look forward to the most? In short, what do you live for? What is your passion? If the answer to this eludes you, it's my belief that most of your interactions with women will leave you frustrated at best and possibly heartbroken.

Lord knows I've made more than my share of mistakes with women and my wisdom has come at a premium.

I truly believe that you must get to point where your happiness has nothing to do with chicks. Your life is full and does not depend on a woman's validation. Maybe you play a musical instrument or you're into motorcycles. The point is you are having so much fun in your life you don't even notice the abscence of female companionship.

After you find and pursue the passion in your life... you will have a swagger. Your interaction with chicks will be effortless. You won't care if the first six or seven chicks you turn you down because you've got other stuff going on and you realize that success will be in the next time you try. Chicks will pick up on your confidence (they have a radar for that) and you will not have a hard time getting laid.

 

[jophil28]

Nice THEORY Trail, but like life in general , it rarely works like that in practise.
You theory sounds like something out of a self help book for divorced men from the 1970's. Self love and all that stuff - not very profound.

 

[STR8UP]

all the talk i hear about ugly dudes getting hot chics is bullsh*t. its a very very rare phenomena. and it has NOTHING to do with "it". these guys typically have some kind of social status - for instance they own / manage the hottest club in town or something - which attracts women to them.

Very rare? I wouldn't say that. Two of the biggest players i have ever known were average or below in the looks department. One of them even had lupus. the guy didn't even look healthy 75% of the time.

Yet both of these guys managed to pull more ass than you could imagine.

The one guy, I could understand. He was the kind of person who always had a smile on his face. Always happy. He had a magnetic personality.

The guy with lupus.....totally different story. Like I said, he looked sick much of the time. He rarely smiled. The only thing I could figure that he had going for him were his cool demeanor. He was also good with the kino. Believe me, I watched this guy cause I was as dumbfounded as everyone else as to what he was doing that got him laid constantly.

I even had more than one chick tell me that she was attracted to him and that she didn't know why, "because he isn't very attractive". I actually sat in the car with his g/f one night listening to her cry to me how she thought he was cheating, blah, blah. Quite the AFC move there, STR8UP!