Have I scared her off? What gives?

[ChargingRhino]

I am 49 years old, and over the past month I have been pursuing a HB 21year old. I have been careful not to get in the friend zone (making sure my conversations and texts are romantic in nature) but also going slow because of my age and I don't want to scare her way.

Took her to a coffee date at Starbucks. Went very well, and we kissed afterwards. Again, I am still playing it cool, not being overly aggressive with her.

About a week ago, my cell phone went out for a few days, and I couldn't text her and call her. I was totally okay with that.

She showed up at my work last wednesday, while my cell phone was still out and I hadn't been in contact with her for a few days, and said she wanted to talk to me. We went to a private place in the office and she told me she missed me and she wanted to go out to coffee again, but this time she'll pay. I was suprised by her offer to pay, and told her "No. no. I'll pay." I know, that wasn't smooth on my part, but I was taken back by her offer to pay, and I said the first thing that came out of my mouth.

She said she'll pay for coffee, but she wants me to pay for the vodka afterwards.

I laughed and said, "Vodka, huh?"

She said yes, and she said that this coming friday was her 22nd birthday, and she wanted to spend the day the day with me.

I thought, Oh, yeah, I'm fineally gonna see that sweet ass.

She hugged me when she left, and while we were hugging I whispered in her ear that she smelled nice.

That was last Wednesday. Cellphone working again, and I've texted her three times this weekend, nothing aggressive, just the romantic flirty kind of texts I've always sent, and there is absolutely no reply.

What gives?

 

[ChargingRhino]

Let me clarify, her birthday is this coming Friday.

 

[betheman]

Im not sure youre going to get an absolutely correct answer because this is a little strange, she showed high interest in you,,, maybe you went too slow? event that doesnt explain her behaviour. could be...her phone is out out?
mayeb try another call or text, maybe she wants you to chase and do what she did? always...always be prepared for a flake though

 

[flashpoint]

friday u will know. last 19 year old that made promises like that to me finally bailed. stuff can come up, boyfriends, family, whatever. nothing you can do much about. keep your cool, take whatever she offers, dont get demanding or anything. it has worked for you so far, so dont change or try to fix anything. and as sweet as all that sounds, it is only true when u guys are actually doing it. btw. vodka means she is pretty nervous about it and needs to loosen up. all the more reason to not pressure her but keep an open mind instead.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Rhino,
Scarras 23rd Maxim....The easiest time to stoke a new Lonely Lady is Christmas or her Birthday....these are two days when No-one wants to be alone.

 

[Desdinova]

Spin other plates while you're waiting for her response (if you ever get one). When the relationship is still in the early phases, you can't expect things to be solid. The woman can just up and leave, so you need to keep your options wide open until she wants to become exclusive.

 

[ChargingRhino]

Thanks guys for the reply posts. They were all helpful.
I definitely don't have a case of "oneitis" with her. Read R Don Steele's book once, and I realize she's young and anything can happen. She is a little hottie-- 5' 1", petite, killer brown eyes, and like I mentioned, a great ass. A lot of guys her age like her. I think what I did was, unlike the guys her age, I didn't come on overly sexual with her, but I did come on overly romantic with her. She's never been romanced before and she loves it! In fact, she told me so. (See! That's one thing us older guys have with younger women--romance! The guys their age don't have a clue what romance is!! )
Still sent her one more text, still no reply, so we'll see.

 

[Slickster]

I'm not sure what the problem is here.

Last time your phone was out she came back to you.

Stop texting her! She will come back again.

You may have conveyed too much interest. She was liking the chase but you are ruining it for her. The "romance" for a 21 yr old is chasing something that is just out of her reach.

Romantic texting? I don't know, with the age difference there that could just come off as creepy.

Anyhow, She gets one attempt at communication (text or call). Then you wait. If she does not respond she might get one more chance and that is it! Never repeatedly attempt to get in touch if she isn't responding. You might as well leave a message saying you love her. It's pitiful.

Next time she gets in touch try to play a little hard to get. Push and pull.

 

[Boilermaker]

Dear Rhino,
Scarras 23rd Maxim....The easiest time to stoke a new Lonely Lady is Christmas or her Birthday....these are two days when No-one wants to be alone.

Wisdom, dripping in...



:yes:

 

[ChargingRhino]

Slickster, the " push and pull" is how i' ve been doing it up until this weekend. I would initiate a text and not respond until she texts me back, and she always does text me back. I guess what has me worried is her actions on wednesday, very into me, and I texted her twice yesterday and today and no response. Either way, you're right. No more texting her till she responds. Thanks.

 

[Slickster]

Good stuff! Don't let her delayed response phase you. She will come around.

 

[ChargingRhino]

All good. Just heard back from her this morning...she text me saying, "Have a fabulous day today, darling."