"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Have I pressed start on the game?

jpizzler

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Hi there folks, so I've been here on DJ for a short time, working myself back up and what-not. Spinning plates has been a change in management for me, but it works. I only end up calling the 'interesting' types to my liking anyway.

So I schedule a date with a girl in my first summer semester class close to its end to prevent me eating where I ****, whilst remaining an utter mystery.

She cancels because of a supposed family outing. Fair enough, I prompted that a raincheck 'whenever'. She showed enthusiasm. I'd left it a week before calling (the class had ended, we wouldn't see each other regularly again) for this Friday evening, willingly saying yes to meeting up at the movies and dinner.

Wishful thinking perhaps, I somewhat speculate she's interested seeing as she lives in a town out of the city, and has to drive over. But over text today she tells me another family ordeal popped up. She offers to plan for Saturday, 'if I could'.

Flaking off for family seems justified. I doubt there are ulterior motives to this. But as I go forth, I want to be adviced properly at least. What could be underlying if I comply?Will I have been reduced down all ready? Will the ball be on her court?

Perhaps I should just move on, resume with the dishes.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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humungus

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Only one way to find out man. Unless you've got other stuff to take care of Saturday, go have some fun with her and if it goes poorly you never have to see her again.
 

alphaace

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jpizzler said:
Hi there folks, so I've been here on DJ for a short time, working myself back up and what-not. Spinning plates has been a change in management for me, but it works. I only end up calling the 'interesting' types to my liking anyway.

So I schedule a date with a girl in my first summer semester class close to its end to prevent me eating where I ****, whilst remaining an utter mystery.

She cancels because of a supposed family outing. Fair enough, I prompted that a raincheck 'whenever'. She showed enthusiasm. I'd left it a week before calling (the class had ended, we wouldn't see each other regularly again) for this Friday evening, willingly saying yes to meeting up at the movies and dinner.

Wishful thinking perhaps, I somewhat speculate she's interested seeing as she lives in a town out of the city, and has to drive over. But over text today she tells me another family ordeal popped up. She offers to plan for Saturday, 'if I could'.

Flaking off for family seems justified. I doubt there are ulterior motives to this. But as I go forth, I want to be adviced properly at least. What could be underlying if I comply?Will I have been reduced down all ready? Will the ball be on her court?

Perhaps I should just move on, resume with the dishes.
No one loves their family that much to have two outtings so close to one another. Normally I would say next her, as you were rejected twice (two strike rule), but she did have a counter-offer on the second rejection which normally indicates interest. I would do the Saturday plans, if she flakes, then its time to next her.
 

BigSmooth

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humungus said:
Only one way to find out man. Unless you've got other stuff to take care of Saturday, go have some fun with her and if it goes poorly you never have to see her again.
^This.
 

Iron

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alphaace said:
No one loves their family that much to have two outtings so close to one another. Normally I would say next her, as you were rejected twice (two strike rule), but she did have a counter-offer on the second rejection which normally indicates interest. I would do the Saturday plans, if she flakes, then its time to next her.
Definitely. I will add that at certain times during the year, family events CAN crop up regularly. Scheduling around school graduations and major holidays are a good example. However, this man is correct. I'd say accept the counter-offer, but if she flakes again, put her on ice. If she IS interested, and had to postpone twice, she won't flake out a third time (assuming something isn't seriously wrong in regards to her family. If so, you might not want to get involved anyway.) I've seen girls drive drunk across a state, on the night before finals, in the rain, just to fvck a guy.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Down Low

Master Don Juan
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Dinner and a show? I wouldn't start this way. Too much too soon. Besides, she might just use you for free activities. You might not even get a peck on the cheek as she races inside with the phone already out in mid-text, telling her BF to come on in.

Just coffee. Maybe take her to some street fair. Something cheap and public.
 

jpizzler

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I'll be wary of that next time... Old habits diehard I guess, the one that brought me here near cleared out my bank.

I had to rush out of town, only coming back today, so I thought I'd just get food out anyway. She's single though, and I'm going ahead with tonight.
 
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