"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Have I pressed start on the game?

jpizzler

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Hi there folks, so I've been here on DJ for a short time, working myself back up and what-not. Spinning plates has been a change in management for me, but it works. I only end up calling the 'interesting' types to my liking anyway.

So I schedule a date with a girl in my first summer semester class close to its end to prevent me eating where I ****, whilst remaining an utter mystery.

She cancels because of a supposed family outing. Fair enough, I prompted that a raincheck 'whenever'. She showed enthusiasm. I'd left it a week before calling (the class had ended, we wouldn't see each other regularly again) for this Friday evening, willingly saying yes to meeting up at the movies and dinner.

Wishful thinking perhaps, I somewhat speculate she's interested seeing as she lives in a town out of the city, and has to drive over. But over text today she tells me another family ordeal popped up. She offers to plan for Saturday, 'if I could'.

Flaking off for family seems justified. I doubt there are ulterior motives to this. But as I go forth, I want to be adviced properly at least. What could be underlying if I comply?Will I have been reduced down all ready? Will the ball be on her court?

Perhaps I should just move on, resume with the dishes.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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humungus

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Only one way to find out man. Unless you've got other stuff to take care of Saturday, go have some fun with her and if it goes poorly you never have to see her again.
 

alphaace

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jpizzler said:
Hi there folks, so I've been here on DJ for a short time, working myself back up and what-not. Spinning plates has been a change in management for me, but it works. I only end up calling the 'interesting' types to my liking anyway.

So I schedule a date with a girl in my first summer semester class close to its end to prevent me eating where I ****, whilst remaining an utter mystery.

She cancels because of a supposed family outing. Fair enough, I prompted that a raincheck 'whenever'. She showed enthusiasm. I'd left it a week before calling (the class had ended, we wouldn't see each other regularly again) for this Friday evening, willingly saying yes to meeting up at the movies and dinner.

Wishful thinking perhaps, I somewhat speculate she's interested seeing as she lives in a town out of the city, and has to drive over. But over text today she tells me another family ordeal popped up. She offers to plan for Saturday, 'if I could'.

Flaking off for family seems justified. I doubt there are ulterior motives to this. But as I go forth, I want to be adviced properly at least. What could be underlying if I comply?Will I have been reduced down all ready? Will the ball be on her court?

Perhaps I should just move on, resume with the dishes.
No one loves their family that much to have two outtings so close to one another. Normally I would say next her, as you were rejected twice (two strike rule), but she did have a counter-offer on the second rejection which normally indicates interest. I would do the Saturday plans, if she flakes, then its time to next her.
 

BigSmooth

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humungus said:
Only one way to find out man. Unless you've got other stuff to take care of Saturday, go have some fun with her and if it goes poorly you never have to see her again.
^This.
 

Iron

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alphaace said:
No one loves their family that much to have two outtings so close to one another. Normally I would say next her, as you were rejected twice (two strike rule), but she did have a counter-offer on the second rejection which normally indicates interest. I would do the Saturday plans, if she flakes, then its time to next her.
Definitely. I will add that at certain times during the year, family events CAN crop up regularly. Scheduling around school graduations and major holidays are a good example. However, this man is correct. I'd say accept the counter-offer, but if she flakes again, put her on ice. If she IS interested, and had to postpone twice, she won't flake out a third time (assuming something isn't seriously wrong in regards to her family. If so, you might not want to get involved anyway.) I've seen girls drive drunk across a state, on the night before finals, in the rain, just to fvck a guy.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Down Low

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Dinner and a show? I wouldn't start this way. Too much too soon. Besides, she might just use you for free activities. You might not even get a peck on the cheek as she races inside with the phone already out in mid-text, telling her BF to come on in.

Just coffee. Maybe take her to some street fair. Something cheap and public.
 

jpizzler

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I'll be wary of that next time... Old habits diehard I guess, the one that brought me here near cleared out my bank.

I had to rush out of town, only coming back today, so I thought I'd just get food out anyway. She's single though, and I'm going ahead with tonight.
 
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