have i blown it?

[pete101]

i made arrangements with this hot HB off facebook yesterday, complete random so i've never met her.

we had that dreaded convo where you try to arrange a meet up time and keep going back and forth with different times, the first day i suggested she couldn't do but counter offered with every day this week except the one i suggested.

i already said i was going to be busy today, but didn't say specifically when, and i was having an AFC wuss day where i was really anxious, so i left it with meeting today but she couldn't because she had work so i suggested meeting later on in afternoon.. basically making myself look too available.

i didn't get a reply from her but she may not have checked facebook after that msg so i made the mistake of sms-ing her last night suggesting the different time of today (dumb move i know..)

i haven't heard from her since.. is it likely with something like this cos we're complete strangers it's easy for the interest level to drop suddenly?

i did everything right everything was set up but my impatience made me try to get a meet up today rather than just waiting a couple extra days.. stupid i know.

would the suggestion be to leave it a couple of days to ease off the neediness in her eyes and reconvene the conversation again?

i feel like this 1 act of desperation may have killed my chances unless i do something at the right time.. which obviously is easing off.. until i meet her this is still all up in the air and i'm a nobody if she meets someone in real life first.

 

[Plan-D]

Back off, its her move next, the balls in her court... if she does... :nervous:

Easy come, easy go right? Spin some plates, get on with things/keep yourself busy so you dont get any silly ideas (again) whilst waiting...

D

 

[pete101]

i was thinking of sending a msg now saying that i can't make it now today anyway so better to rearrange to later in the week..

is this more likely to do more harm than good?

 

[Plan-D]

Yeh, don't do that... you have already done enough damage, that will only compound things further...

...if she does get back to you (remember the ball is 100% in her court now) you need to play it cool, don't reply straight away (i.e. at least a day), if she gives an excuse laugh it off, make a joke about it - you didnt care, right?

...It's up to her now...

D

 

[DonGorgon]

Yeh its done... next girl...

 

[pete101]

ok she got back to me and funnily enough she says she cant make it but counter offered with an offer of any other day this week for me to choose as i please.. like making herself look really available to me.

is this a sign of high interest level even though i've never even met the girl??

i feel like im treading on eggshells at the moment and dont want to make a wrong move. i tried suggesting another day this week but hasn't been confirmed.

im really cautious about this.

 

[pete101]

fvck.. i dont know whats happening, she didn't contact me last night to confirm about meeting today even though my previous msg somewhat inferred that.

now her phone is off for the past hour and im suppose to leave soon. this could be any number of reasons right?

ok im confused now cos it's delivered..

her last msg to me was to 'choose another day to meet up'
to me that would indicate high interest level.. but do girls just say these things to get themselves out of things or to flake?

 

[Shyyhs]

Jesus Christ man, stop obsessing.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

ok she got back to me and funnily enough she says she cant make it but counter offered with an offer of any other day this week for me to choose as i please.. like making herself look really available to me.

is this a sign of high interest level even though i've never even met the girl??

i feel like im treading on eggshells at the moment and dont want to make a wrong move. i tried suggesting another day this week but hasn't been confirmed.

im really cautious about this.

Just freaking reply and tell her a firm date and time to meet you. The wrong move you are making is treading on eggshells.. just tell her when and where and that's it. No confirmation show up and talk to her.

 

[tick37]

You're asking if you've screwed up your chances with this girl. What's wrong with that? It's full of desperation. You should be more worried about whether she screwed up her chances with you. She can tell you're desperate. Take the bull by the horns and take charge! Don't do it on her terms. If she counter offers, just put your own twist on it. Maybe a different time, but the same day.

She told you any day this week, so you would take the lead. She's not throwing herself out there so you'll think she's easy and wanting you. She wants to meet, but she's obviously not walking on eggshells because she's smart enough not to put to much into the first meeting. So, take it and stop analyzing it. She's yours for the taking, and if she screws it up again then dump her.

Why are you cautious? You should live life as if you're a winner, and if she has problem and doesn't like you, then it's her loss. You've put this girl above you, and it ain't going to last. You are an AFC!

 

[DonGorgon]

fvck.. i dont know whats happening, she didn't contact me last night to confirm about meeting today even though my previous msg somewhat inferred that.

now her phone is off for the past hour and im suppose to leave soon. this could be any number of reasons right?

ok im confused now cos it's delivered..

her last msg to me was to 'choose another day to meet up'
to me that would indicate high interest level.. but do girls just say these things to get themselves out of things or to flake?

ummmm, I told you its done..

 

[tick37]

ummmm, I told you its done..

This pretty much sums it up. You should have let her do some of the work. Since you didn't, she knows how needy you were.

 

[DonGorgon]

This pretty much sums it up. You should have let her do some of the work. Since you didn't, she know how needy you were.

Yup and we have all been there...

One time I had a girl tell me " I dont want to be with someone if I feel they are putting in more effort than me" This was after I told her I was very busy but would make time for her... LOL that turned her off.. she was 20 years old

 

[pete101]

apparently it's still on though..

i mean all be it she said she can't do tomorrow and did not counter offer with another day.

should i wait how long before i reply?

 

[just so suave]

This is the problem with meeting girls on the internet...

I just leave them one comment, and its crucial its funny otherwise the comments useless. Wait to see if they reply, and if they do, i answer part of what they commented to me, and then i tell them to add my msn address. Then speak to them on msn for at least 20 minutes (this doesn't make you seem needy or like you don't have a life, its just normal) and then if you're interested in the girl still, suggest you meet up sometime.

In your situation though, get her on msn and just speak to her. Dont mention anything about meeting up unless she brings it up. Then the next time you speak to her on msn (preferably at the next day or few days), thats the time to ask her. Good luck.

 

[pete101]

i already got her number and everything.. i completely skip the msn route cos i dont need to i can get the numbers easily it's just when time comes to make arrangements if i make the wrong move in part of the negotiation of when to meet then it usually messes up..

i mean she handed it to me on a plate.. she said any day this week, i made the mistake of impatience trying to force the issue for the very next day. she said she couldn't but counter offered for me to choose another day.

i didn't explicitly suggest the day via text but did so via facebook but i didnt realise she had not seen it since tuesday so my assumption her interest level had waned was unfounded..

but cos i left a text today saying i was going to be leaving in an hour to go where we're suppose to meet (on the presumption we were meeting) and realised after it was never confirmed i looked like an azz.. so i tried to arrange it for tomorrow to be clearer.

she counters with she cant, but no counter offer of another time or for me to choose 1. so her interest level has significantly dropped it seems.

i made rookie mistake of replying half an hour after to say i 'chose' the wrong day as she suggest and that im busy this weekend, so suggested monday.

i guess i need to start from the beginning with her again and raise the interest level via facebook?

 

[just so suave]

Well honestly man facebook is significantly slower, msn is there to be used for the reason it was created, as an 'instant messenger'. Facebooks good in you're just online for a few minutes, but msn is great for speed seduction. Its a route you may aswel try out now. I hope you get your girl man

 

[DonGorgon]

apparently it's still on though..

i mean all be it she said she can't do tomorrow and did not counter offer with another day.

should i wait how long before i reply?

nah she is just draging it out to see how long you will begg..

 

[pete101]

nah she is just draging it out to see how long you will begg..

seriously though.. the way it appears to be is that she had high interest level hence her offer of any day this week.. i mean she made herself look really available to me so i took that for granted.

but now since my blunder her interest level has dramatically dropped. i might have made the final blunder by texting her half an hour later to suggest sunday since im busy saturday. no reply. surprise surprise.

the thing is i didn't realise she had not seen my facebook reply so i assumed during that period she'd gone off me, whereas in her eyes she had only seen my couple of texts.

when she does see that facebook msg hopefully not until next week i'm hoping my keeness has worn off in her eyes. if i leave it a week for things to settle down remove the neediness aspect should that be enough time to restart the convo like how i originally did?

or has this last blunder of suggesting sunday half and hour later is nail in the coffin? she only sms's once a day to me.. it's very annoying.

 

[pete101]

Well honestly man facebook is significantly slower, msn is there to be used for the reason it was created, as an 'instant messenger'. Facebooks good in you're just online for a few minutes, but msn is great for speed seduction. Its a route you may aswel try out now. I hope you get your girl man

sometimes that build up and time in between helps you get their number sooner.. i.e. if i had back and forths over a period of 2 days over that time lag on facebook i usually get a number easily.

the difficulty i have is that cos you're some random dude off the internet she doesn't hold you in high priority over say a guy she may meet in a bar that week.. hence the first meeting is critical, im a dumbazz.. i had it on a plate and all i needed to do was suggest a time later this week and everything woulda been rosey.