Have great chemistry with a girl, I find out she has bf...wtf! what now?

[solo1]

I was out with some mates and a couple of girls celebrating our graduation at a couple of bars...they're all from the Uni.

The thing is, there was this particular girl also in my field that i've never met before. Apparently the first bar we went to, as I was having a good time, she asked my female classmate about me and what major I was in. Of course that classmate has a crush on me so she lied to her. (Yes I find out about all of this as we're in our 2nd bar).

So the 2nd bar we're at, I get to speak to her on occasional times and she reveals the above as she asks me what my major is...of course its a good sign, it shows she was curious. So later on in the night, I isolate her...simple, everyone in our group smokes except us. So I bring on the heavy kino and flirting and she's extremely receptive, I was about to ask her on a coffee date, but the group returned and well..so much for our intimate moment!
In that very moment we both had very good EC and smiling, chemistry and sparks were there.

Graduation was early the next day, and I was feeling sick from all the booze I had. Soon I parted and left them at the bar.
On graduation day, we met eyes several times...it was hectic and she was with her 2 afc guy friends. So I make nothing of it as I cant do anything with ****blocks there, besides I already have her # from a business card.

I call her later tonight and she was receptive to my call...Well I find out her parents and her bf went to her graduation. Im just blown away. so I follow through with my plan we had a good chat going and I invited her to coffee on X day, she had a reasonable excuse as some peepz from the Uni were planning on chilling that day. She even invited me to hang, im not familiar with her group so i declined. Then I invited her out to a drink out with some fellow classmates also for some other day...and she said she'd let me know.

Well, that's the situation..but so far it blows. Fortunately for me, we have a lot of mutual friends.

If i dont hear from her, should I call again next week and try again for coffee?

 

[xblitz44x]

If i dont hear from her, should I call again next week and try again for coffee?

A couple things...

1) As you know, her having a boyfriend is irrelevant. She still could have connected with you and, depending on her morals, she still could want to be involved with you.

2) However, if there was liquor involved on the night of your magical "connection", you may need to attribute some of her interest (or at least her disregard for being in a relationship) to that. Never expect the same behavior out of a sober girl and a buzzed girl.

3) I'd take her up on her hang-out offer but don't press the issue or make it a point to get close to her. Be natural and the life of the party. If you're having fun she'll want to be a part of it.

4) After that, call her once more for coffee or whatever it is you want to do. If she gives an exuse, drop the case - she's either not as interested as you thought, or she values her current relationship.

 

[solo1]

A couple things...

1) As you know, her having a boyfriend is irrelevant. She still could have connected with you and, depending on her morals, she still could want to be involved with you.

=/ yea i know its irrelevant, in our 'moment' last night i wouldve even leaned in for a kiss but the group came back. My gut tells me she wants to be with me, she was very fascinated with me and vice versa the other night.

2) However, if there was liquor involved on the night of your magical "connection", you may need to attribute some of her interest (or at least her disregard for being in a relationship) to that. Never expect the same behavior out of a sober girl and a buzzed girl.

Yea that usually is a tough one. But my philosophy on people with alcohol in their system is that their thoughts no longer limits them from behaving the true way they want to. As I notice this often with anyone who drinks.
As for the sober part, at graduation we did cross eyes several times with EC and she played with her hair...so I know it wasnt the alcohol talking.

3) I'd take her up on her hang-out offer but don't press the issue or make it a point to get close to her. Be natural and the life of the party. If you're having fun she'll want to be a part of it.

Some mutual friend of ours are throwing a barbecue this weekend, for all I know she'll be there...all the better!

4) After that, call her once more for coffee or whatever it is you want to do. If she gives an exuse, drop the case - she's either not as interested as you thought, or she values her current relationship.

Good advice, but unfortunately my phone game isnt as great as it is in person. But I'll see. This ordeal is reminding me all over again that all the good girls are taken and only the scraps are left...

 

[kreuz]

Dear solo1,

When a girl mentions she has a boyfriend I just shrug it off and play it cool. Who cares if she has a boyfriend, they are not married so it is not a serious relationship, which means she is still partially looking for someone better. All you have to do with girls in relationships is be that someone.

Keep your head up and play the game.

 

[Interceptor]

Guys, one thing I want to mention is that "Stealing" Girlfriends is Beta male behavior. With so many Single women out there, trying to steal away some chick who is already involved is not cool, bad mojo, and bad karma.
There's a lot more I can say about this subject.

But just put yourself in the Guy's position.
How would you feel about some guy working and Gaming on your girl behind your back?
What if you really Loved her?

There's really little that 's honorable being a Sancho or a homwrecker.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...She even invited me to hang, im not familiar with her group so i declined.

:nono: Not a good reason to decline. It was a perfect chance for her friends to find out how cool you are (if you really are). Could have used her friends perception of you to help your cause.

...
Then I invited her out to a drink out with some fellow classmates also for some other day...and she said she'd let me know.

Uh-oh, seems like she's holding out to see if she get's a better offer.

...
Well, that's the situation..but so far it blows. Fortunately for me, we have a lot of mutual friends.

How do you plan on using this to your advantage?

 

[mrRuckus]

Guys, one thing I want to mention is that "Stealing" Girlfriends is Beta male behavior. With so many Single women out there, trying to steal away some chick who is already involved is not cool, bad mojo, and bad karma.
There's a lot more I can say about this subject.

But just put yourself in the Guy's position.

What if you really Loved her?

If he can't outdo the competition, tough t1tties for him.

We're doing him a favor if we can get the girl to cheat. If she's gonna cheat sooner is better than later so he'll know he's with a piece of sh1t.

"Beta male behavior." Give me a break. Beta male behavior is what worrying about "am i acting alpha" is.

oh yeah... lots of girls are NEVER single anyway. monkey.. branch.. you know.

 

[solo1]

:nono: Not a good reason to decline. It was a perfect chance for her friends to find out how cool you are (if you really are). Could have used her friends perception of you to help your cause.

Truth be told, i know her group...and there are a few of them Im cool with. I'm 22, but honestly I get along better with people older than me and not with kids who behave..well like kids. I wouldnt say the classmates are really her friends, but the other night we all went barhopping i think she saw enough 'coolness' from my social proof.

Uh-oh, seems like she's holding out to see if she get's a better offer.

I dont know, but I know often girls who dont have the social confidence wont hang out with a group of people she doesnt know.

How do you plan on using this to your advantage?

A friend of ours might be hosting a barbeque this weekend, so ill see what happens. Even if i cant get her to hang out 1on1, I can still game her while with our friends at the least.

Anyway, I think im going to have modify some things slightly. We all know girls act on emotion and (on the spot) feelings. Odds are I think i have to bring those emotions out again (if we're hanging out in a group like last time), if i want anything to happen...they act on the spot and rationalize their behavior after. By asking her to coffee or anything remotely sounding to the concept of being 1on1, it will become logical that im asking her out on a date.

If he can't outdo the competition, tough t1tties for him.

We're doing him a favor if we can get the girl to cheat. If she's gonna cheat sooner is better than later so he'll know he's with a piece of sh1t.

"Beta male behavior." Give me a break. Beta male behavior is what worrying about "am i acting alpha" is.

oh yeah... lots of girls are NEVER single anyway. monkey.. branch.. you know.

Exactly, thats my viewpoint. I used to believe the same as the other guy 'bad karma, etc.' And that isnt always the case.

Some things are worth going after in life. and if a girl is going to cheat one way or another, she was never committed to the relationship to begin with. And believe me, i've met a lot of unhappy people this past year (guys an girls) trapped in relationships wanting out/to cheat but they havent the balls to do anything about it.

Here's the perfect example:
I once tried going after a girl who was in a relationship. She was living with her bf and his parents. But anytime i'd see her I could tell that she was unhappy (which is why i pursued her). She never gave in and I gave up and moved on. A few months later I hear they broke up and she moved out.

 

[Raikojo17]

Here's the perfect example:
I once tried going after a girl who was in a relationship. She was living with her bf and his parents. But anytime i'd see her I could tell that she was unhappy (which is why i pursued her). She never gave in and I gave up and moved on. A few months later I hear they broke up and she moved out.

so it is your job to save them from their evil bf's?