Have An Identity

[JT47319]

Have An Identity

When a girl say's he's a "nice" guy (in that, Let's Just Be Friends kind of way), it's not that being nice/friendly is the unattractive quality (although being too nice and friendly can be a turnoff), but rather that the man in question has a weak sense of self and who he is or that he can't/isn't conveying himself in the time alloted. What she's REALLY saying is that he's BORING and GENERIC.

Not only should you dress the part of WHO you are (and we're not talking Gap or the Banana Republic here, that's just pure American generic that you see over other dudes wearing), but convey your personality. You control and guide the conversation with her, display your sense of humor, your sexuality, and certain amounts of *******ness. You convey that you are generous, sexy, and don't take **** from women. You convey an attitude, personality, and edge that is yours and that she will remember long after the interaction and amidst all the other men who are hitting on her on a daily basis.

Even Asian rice rocket riders and Azn gangsters have a stronger sense of identity than some Asians lost in American culture, dressing in the latest generic fashion, talking about generic things, and otherwise conveying their generic-ness. They're not going to attract all girls, but they will attract the girls who dig that stuff. But no one digs generic.

And never supplicate to a woman. You can be generous and nice to your friends (and in turn to her), but if she feels like she can step all over you, no amount of attractiveness is going to make up for her feelings of repulsion she feels for a guy that will kiss her ass just to get in her pants. Girls don't like guys who are "easy." Just like you must chase her, SHE MUST CHASE YOU.

 

[Jariel]

Completely agree! Very good point about the nice guy's weak sense of self too.

I believe that there are "standards" that define people as attractive (from physique to voice tone), but it's your personal identity that gives you originality and appeal. If she thinks of you as one of a kind and completely irreplaceable she'll be a lot less likely to turn you down or give you up. Rare = valuable.

 

[jakethasnake]

JT, you are right. Basically the message is to be DESCISIVE when conveying your image - it shows confidence that a man can wear distinctive clothes that send off a STRONG message.


However - do you really think it makes sense to walk around looking like an advertisement for the 'International Male' catalogue - in platform boots, frilly shirts revealing hairy pecs, leather hotpants, and nail polish?


I think that a just as strong statement can be made if a man wants to project a clean-cut image (not my personal style, just providing an example) by wearing a SHARP suit from Prada, for example. That outfit definitely sends out a strong message - that of success and POWER.


Basically, my post is just a warning to those who think they need to walk around in broad daylight will glitter in their hair and rockstar eyeshadow to get attention.

 

[hardwork]

Tips.