I distinctly remember that day that I first came to this forum. I had major oneitis for a girl that my roommate at the time also liked and did the typical nice guy, (read: doormat) routine that I always did before and just like before I would get shot down and wonder what I was doing wrong. I remember going to a website for men (askmen.com?) and through a series of links, I found this forum and instantly my outlook changed. It has not been easy, as I have had to deprogram about 25 years of feminisim, passiveness, and pessimism that was inbedded deep within my subconscious.
Four years later, its like I am a completely different man. I have a job that has the possibility of me owning and operating my own business. My weight has dropped from 200 lbs to under 167 and my physical fitness has never been better. I am in better shape now in my mid 30s than I ever was, even in my teens. My self confidence has shot up ever since I figured out that all I needed to do was to push myself a bit further. Heck all my friends that thought I would never amount to anything are now eating their words.
I have made some progress in dating too. Most important was me finally losing my virginity and getting into my first real relationship as well as allowing myself to make all the mistakes in that relationship. I have also noticed a few more women checking me out, and my confidence in the bedroom has skyrocketed.
I do still have a few sticking points, which have been a lot harder to overcome than I had thought. First off, I still have a fear of rejection, and an even worse fight-or-flight fear of approaching when I am not sure of interest level. Second, I sometimes get in my own world when I talk to a girl, and I will either not notice interest level signs or get so involved in a conversation that I forget to ask for her #. Finally, although my body image has improved a bit, I still get feelings of unattractiveness and to this day find it hard to look at a photo of myself. I am confident that soon those barriers will too disappear.
Part of the reason for this post was to give myself a benchmark for self improvement, and also to give a big thanks to the fellow posters here as well as those who moderate the site. So to all of you who have helped me, I tip my hat off to you!
Four years later, its like I am a completely different man. I have a job that has the possibility of me owning and operating my own business. My weight has dropped from 200 lbs to under 167 and my physical fitness has never been better. I am in better shape now in my mid 30s than I ever was, even in my teens. My self confidence has shot up ever since I figured out that all I needed to do was to push myself a bit further. Heck all my friends that thought I would never amount to anything are now eating their words.
I have made some progress in dating too. Most important was me finally losing my virginity and getting into my first real relationship as well as allowing myself to make all the mistakes in that relationship. I have also noticed a few more women checking me out, and my confidence in the bedroom has skyrocketed.
I do still have a few sticking points, which have been a lot harder to overcome than I had thought. First off, I still have a fear of rejection, and an even worse fight-or-flight fear of approaching when I am not sure of interest level. Second, I sometimes get in my own world when I talk to a girl, and I will either not notice interest level signs or get so involved in a conversation that I forget to ask for her #. Finally, although my body image has improved a bit, I still get feelings of unattractiveness and to this day find it hard to look at a photo of myself. I am confident that soon those barriers will too disappear.
Part of the reason for this post was to give myself a benchmark for self improvement, and also to give a big thanks to the fellow posters here as well as those who moderate the site. So to all of you who have helped me, I tip my hat off to you!