I don't mean the break that's basically an excuse to break up completely, I mean like actually deciding mutually that it'd be cool to date other people for a while. My girlfriend has never dated anyone else, she mentioned that she'd have to try it at some point. I was thinking, well, why not now? Have summer flings and then reconvene later. Anyone ever tried this?
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
has anyone here gone "on break" in an LTR?
- Thread starter wwwwww
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Upside
Senior Don Juan
It's over. If she really was head over heels with you she would never consider dating other guys. All or nothing. No break crap.
sodbuster
Master Don Juan
Read some of the older posts concerning "breaks". She's got another pony she wants to ride. If it works out,you are done-if not, you are the fall back chump. I'd NEVER do it. IF she wants a break, she can have one-for the next 60 years.
manthefukup
New Member
Ok...
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
manthefukup
New Member
Toast.
1st post = easy. manthefukup, move on dude.
1st post = easy. manthefukup, move on dude.
You can try it, but don't cry about it later.wwwwww said:
For long term relationships, this is a no..no. Why would she need to date anyone else if you're the best one for her?
For short term relationship or fb, she can do whatever she wants as long as you get whatever you want from her.
Ive done it before. Once.
What a waste of time. We both agreed to not see other people...and honestly I lost so much interest I broke it off. She went with her emotional tampon. I couldnt be happier for both of them.
Shes already started to branch swing if she initiated it.
In my one experience it was mutual - I actually brought up the idea cause we were fighting to much which is why we agreed to not date others. I wound up doing it anyway (date others).
I agree wholeheartedly with the others - once it gets to that point start moving on. You still have the chance to break it off before she does and at least walk away knowing your doing whats best for you.
What a waste of time. We both agreed to not see other people...and honestly I lost so much interest I broke it off. She went with her emotional tampon. I couldnt be happier for both of them.
Shes already started to branch swing if she initiated it.
In my one experience it was mutual - I actually brought up the idea cause we were fighting to much which is why we agreed to not date others. I wound up doing it anyway (date others).
I agree wholeheartedly with the others - once it gets to that point start moving on. You still have the chance to break it off before she does and at least walk away knowing your doing whats best for you.
Kailex
Master Don Juan
You sound like you are loving this idea right now.wwwwww said:
But what happens come August and she tells you that she doesn't want to get back together because she loved the taste of other cawks inside her mouth? What happens if she says she wants to experience more in life than just YOU.
And what if you strike out as well during that time?
This is a double edged sword that'll work against you.
You'll get the shorter end of this stick.
If this idea even COMES UP at any point... the relationship is already over.
kingsam
Master Don Juan
Yes, its a method of getting rid of you , without her being the "bad guy" and dumping you, and she may not even conciously think that, its often a sub-concious thing!!Kailex said:
Call her bluff and say its a good idea, start shagging others ASAP!
She has LOW INTEREST IN YOU,although its not given she has a replacement for you (but she likes the ideas of new men)
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I'm not afraid of striking out because I have a bunch of other girls I know who I could easily get with in the meantime. What happens come August and she tells me that she doesn't want to get back together? Then it wasn't meant to be and I keep banging other girls.Kailex said:
I see it as win-win in my books. This wasn't discussed because we have a lull in our relationship or anything, it was just a musing.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
Its over.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
to follow up on my previous post. When a girl says she needs a "break" usually it means 2 things.
1) letting you go in a "not so bad" way and her mouth is already watering from another dude she's wants but your in the way.
2) Needing a break also leaves it open for her, if it doesn't work out with another guy or she gets tired of banging other guys, she will come back and try to "work it out" because she never said it was over but just a break.
My friends ex's did it to them, heck its happen to me long time ago and i will never forget that BS line. anytime a girlfriend says "we need a break" its time to move on.
1) letting you go in a "not so bad" way and her mouth is already watering from another dude she's wants but your in the way.
2) Needing a break also leaves it open for her, if it doesn't work out with another guy or she gets tired of banging other guys, she will come back and try to "work it out" because she never said it was over but just a break.
My friends ex's did it to them, heck its happen to me long time ago and i will never forget that BS line. anytime a girlfriend says "we need a break" its time to move on.
kingsam
Master Don Juan
yesIn2theGame said:
most guys dont have the self-respect to NOT take her back in this situation... being the bf-turned-into-fallback-guy is a poor (a dis-respected) situation to be in... i argue she would also have a lot less respect for you, and her Interest Level will never be as hihgh as it was, and she'd dump for a Bigger Better Deal in the blink of an eye
----
wrong thinking, you are either good enought for her and you stay together OR she wants to break up forever, she can choose both and have it back later on, do you really want to the be fall-back coz she didnt find the BBD??? REALLY??? have some self-respect!wwwwww said:
her interst level in you will never be "high" as in 90% agian either - its better to be single than with a girl who only likes you a "bit" say 55-60%...
I hate to sound like a broken record, and I'm listening to you guys for sure. Not trying to be the "but it's different" guy, but... Well, I think I might've not given you a good read on this situation.
First: she didn't say she needs a break. We were talking and she mentioned that it's weird that I've got a bunch of experience and she doesn't. It wasn't the primary subject of discussion; it was an aside.
Second: this girl is all over me. She has through-the-roof interest -- more than anyone else I've been with. Maybe that's why I embrace this idea, it'd be kinda cool to be on my toes again for a little while. I've dealt with the waning-interest types before. Once I stuck it out, second time I knew when to say "**** this" and moved on to the next.
If anything I view this as an interesting opportunity for myself... She's never brought it up again and she doesn't view it seriously. I'm curious about trying it as an experiment. There's high interest and I really don't see this ending in a loss for either of us. She finds someone better? Fine. There's plenty of girls, I'm at a fairly large college in a fairly large city.
Again, if this happens it's going to be _me_ bringing it up, not her. And I do believe it would be a benefit for me if anyone. I do certainly understand the point that has been made here again and again by some of you -- why even bother? Maybe it's better to just break it off with her all-together if I'm seriously entertaining this idea.
First: she didn't say she needs a break. We were talking and she mentioned that it's weird that I've got a bunch of experience and she doesn't. It wasn't the primary subject of discussion; it was an aside.
Second: this girl is all over me. She has through-the-roof interest -- more than anyone else I've been with. Maybe that's why I embrace this idea, it'd be kinda cool to be on my toes again for a little while. I've dealt with the waning-interest types before. Once I stuck it out, second time I knew when to say "**** this" and moved on to the next.
If anything I view this as an interesting opportunity for myself... She's never brought it up again and she doesn't view it seriously. I'm curious about trying it as an experiment. There's high interest and I really don't see this ending in a loss for either of us. She finds someone better? Fine. There's plenty of girls, I'm at a fairly large college in a fairly large city.
Again, if this happens it's going to be _me_ bringing it up, not her. And I do believe it would be a benefit for me if anyone. I do certainly understand the point that has been made here again and again by some of you -- why even bother? Maybe it's better to just break it off with her all-together if I'm seriously entertaining this idea.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
sodbuster
Master Don Juan
THATS a different story,better for you-not necessarily the relationship. IF you want to keep her,keep her don't do the "Break" IF she agrees and you run out and screw everything in town and she takes you back-would you respect her? Would it be easier to actually cheat on her if you weren't on break[she took me back once]? Would you respect her if she decided to play catch up and did the whole football team in numerical order on consecutive nights? She could you know-doubt the football team would take much convincing to have sex[men are so damn easy]
The desire to screw the whole town is constantly with you-even when married. Just one of the things you'll have to get over-I'll never play professional football either[2 dreams shot to sh1t]
The desire to screw the whole town is constantly with you-even when married. Just one of the things you'll have to get over-I'll never play professional football either[2 dreams shot to sh1t]
Yes - With two people.
First was two times in a 9yr LTR with a clever, ambitious career woman who went away to do an advanced degree/retraining.
Neither was good. Afer the first break I was just waiting for her to go off again and after the second, the LTR was dead. It was only a matter of a fairly short time before I said "never again"
The second person was my ex-fiancee and her request for a break was pretty much her way of ending it. She came back for a while but I soon found she was shagging another guy who she had met in the "break", so it was over.
First was two times in a 9yr LTR with a clever, ambitious career woman who went away to do an advanced degree/retraining.
Neither was good. Afer the first break I was just waiting for her to go off again and after the second, the LTR was dead. It was only a matter of a fairly short time before I said "never again"
The second person was my ex-fiancee and her request for a break was pretty much her way of ending it. She came back for a while but I soon found she was shagging another guy who she had met in the "break", so it was over.