Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Has anyone here done everything pertaining to women solo? Just you, no wingmen

Oatmeal31

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 13, 2025
Messages
22
Reaction score
5
Age
26
Have any of you done daygame, nightgame, approaching in any kind of venue all by yourself without any wingmen? A period where you went on this journey by yourself alone?

I ask because this does seem much harder to do entirely alone. Relying on yourself for feedback, ironing out mistakes, and not having the cushion of a social circle, etc. So I'd like to see what kind of results some of you have gotten on a similar path, or if your progress got so much better by having a friend that is involved with you and gives feedback, etc.

Ever since I've gotten into this, I've never gotten aid from anybody in person. I've done all approaching solo, whether on the street, store, bar, club, you name it. Doesn't matter if it's one or a group of 2,3,4,5 girls, I've never had a wingman before. The most I've done is look at videos and take advice from others that are more experienced. The rest is trial, error, and dealing with mental hurdles.

I've hung out with buddies before and happened to approach while we're doing something, but they would never assume the wingman role and just take a step back. It felt easier with them just being around though. More of a cushion.

Don't really count but I've probably approached around 150 women by now if not more. Have "pulled," as in had a decent chance of having sex with around 6 girls but never actually got any lays. So just makeouts or grinding.
Furthest I've gotten with this was getting a really good looking French girl back to my hotel room the same day I met her on the street. Was razor close, but I always fumble the bag in some way. Still learning.

Feels like I'm playing on hardcore difficulty doing it this way, but I'm stubborn enough to see it to the end
 
Last edited:

Oatmeal31

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 13, 2025
Messages
22
Reaction score
5
Age
26
This is what I do.

Do you have a question? Are you trying to learn something?
Has it always been that way? If so, how difficult has it been? Much harder than having someone that gives feedback from another lens, works with you in an iron sharpens iron way,etc? I'm curious about how someone else progressed this way, how they made it work, and when things finally clicked just relying on yourself
 

Ricky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 9, 2002
Messages
4,097
Reaction score
848
Age
51
Ive done this everytime ive moved to a new town. It was easy then you tell a woman you just moved to town and ask for her recommendations on things.
 

BPH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 8, 2010
Messages
2,658
Reaction score
1,295
Location
Wilmington, DE
Has it always been that way? If so, how difficult has it been? Much harder than having someone that gives feedback from another lens, works with you in an iron sharpens iron way,etc? I'm curious about how someone else progressed this way, how they made it work, and when things finally clicked just relying on yourself
I started doing it solo because I didn't have anybody around me with the results I wanted. Most men are bad with women, and it's a case of the blind leading the blind if you're asking them for advice.

I believe in listening to the people who have what you want, rather than settling for the advice of the people willing to give it.

I generally have had a BETTER time approaching solo as opposed to with friends or with a group. It allows you a lot more freedom.

I've had friends get upset when I left with a woman despite that being the reason we had both gone out. I've had "wingmen" ignore all signs and agree with a woman's objections about me rather than talk me up, even when the conversation was going well without them. I've gone up to groups of girls with friends and managed to isolate them from each other, only for my stupid "wingman" to immediately reunite them because they didn't know what to do.

I prefer to go out with friends, but that's because I like having company and people to hang around with when I'm not seeing girls I want to approach. The most a wingman's done for me that I couldn't do for myself was provide a bed to bring the girl at the end of the night.

Unless you know somebody who's slamming a** the way you want to be, both in terms of quality and quantity, then I'd suggest learning by doing. You'll eventually get to a point where you don't fear rejection or have outcome dependence, and that's when it becomes a lot easier, assuming you're decent-looking and not borderline homeless.
 

The Duke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
5,707
Reaction score
8,813
I've gotten just as many girls by myself as I have with friends or wingmen hanging out in bars. Its definitely not any harder by myself. In fact, girls are always impressed when they see I am confident enough to go alone.

Its probaly easier to get a girl talking when you are hanging out with female friends, but that doesn't always translate to success.
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,116
Reaction score
4,727
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
Was never a big fan of the wingman thing. The odds of two guys simultaneously hitting it off with two girls is low.

You either get a wingman that is too passive and doesn’t approach at all. Or one that is overly aggressive and pressures you to approach women you have zero interest in. Hard to find a happy medium.

Solo all the way.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
13,950
Reaction score
11,633
Have any of you done daygame, nightgame, approaching in any kind of venue all by yourself without any wingmen? A period where you went on this journey by yourself alone?
Most of my approaching has done alone.

In non-bar approaching (daygame), there's not a lot of advantage gained from having a wing. In a lot of daygame scenarios, the woman is already isolated from her friends and it's possible to approach 1-on-1 without worrying about her friends blocking.

Daygame is the better format for solo approachers.

It's better to go to bars with a wing. My friends are all married men/married men with children at home. My friends are not down to go to the bars with me. It has been this way for a while. I have done enough nightlife venue approaching alone. It's not as bad as some people make it seem but it is better to do bar approaching with a wing.

Don't really count but I've probably approached around 150 women by now if not more. Have "pulled," as in had a decent chance of having sex with around 6 girls but never actually got any lays. So just makeouts or grinding.
Approaching strangers to try to find sex can be very inefficient. Plenty of people have stretches where they approach 100-200 people without getting sex. Some might even approach 100-200 and get even worse results than you.
 

ocho_da_musician

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 30, 2025
Messages
36
Reaction score
14
Age
24
Have any of you done daygame, nightgame, approaching in any kind of venue all by yourself without any wingmen? A period where you went on this journey by yourself alone?

I ask because this does seem much harder to do entirely alone. Relying on yourself for feedback, ironing out mistakes, and not having the cushion of a social circle, etc. So I'd like to see what kind of results some of you have gotten on a similar path, or if your progress got so much better by having a friend that is involved with you and gives feedback, etc.

Ever since I've gotten into this, I've never gotten aid from anybody in person. I've done all approaching solo, whether on the street, store, bar, club, you name it. Doesn't matter if it's one or a group of 2,3,4,5 girls, I've never had a wingman before. The most I've done is look at videos and take advice from others that are more experienced. The rest is trial, error, and dealing with mental hurdles.

I've hung out with buddies before and happened to approach while we're doing something, but they would never assume the wingman role and just take a step back. It felt easier with them just being around though. More of a cushion.

Don't really count but I've probably approached around 150 women by now if not more. Have "pulled," as in had a decent chance of having sex with around 6 girls but never actually got any lays. So just makeouts or grinding.
Furthest I've gotten with this was getting a really good looking French girl back to my hotel room the same day I met her on the street. Was razor close, but I always fumble the bag in some way. Still learning.

Feels like I'm playing on hardcore difficulty doing it this way, but I'm stubborn enough to see it to the end
Yeah I don't recall ever having a wingman when approaching chicks
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2022
Messages
1,136
Reaction score
905
Age
39
.
@SW15

Just like your avatar, I'm a lone wolf.

Never had many male friends, ever.

Always had school or work acquaintances, but never many friends I hung out with after school or work.

Hanging out with male friends, behind closed doors...all that, in the room, door closed, playing video games type of shiit (besides with cousins), nahhh.

Not me.

I go out on my own...daygame, or nightgame.

But, I am slightly open to going out and titty hunting (day game) with an acquaintance, on occasions.

But no wingman type shiit.
 

Gamisch

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2022
Messages
4,056
Reaction score
4,774
I always got my women moving solo. Tbh I don't like the idea of being a grown azz man who depends on on another man to be able to execute the most important things in life: whether that's getting women, fighting , fixing shi1t, or making money.

It's definitely possible to have a wingman but ONLY when they are 100% like minded on multiple levels. Sometimes a good friend can be an absolutely awful wingman. While a good wingman can be an awful friend...

A man with (way) more smv will outshine you, while a man with way less smv will be a burden. That's why it's wise to be able to do this solo.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2022
Messages
1,136
Reaction score
905
Age
39
I always got my women moving solo. Tbh I don't like the idea of being a grown azz man who depends on on another man to be able to execute the most important things in life: whether that's getting women, fighting , fixing shi1t, or making money.
:rofl:

It's definitely possible to have a wingman but ONLY when they are 100% like minded on multiple levels. Sometimes a good friend can be an absolutely awful wingman. While a good wingman can be an awful friend...

A man with (way) more smv will outshine you, while a man with way less smv will be a burden. That's why it's wise to be able to do this solo.
If cold approaching women is part of your life as a man, then what can a wingman possibly do for you?

@Gamisch with all due respect, I can go over and talk to her myself. Appreciate it, tho :up:

That is just a hypothetical haha.

You can see my point, and I expect the same from you.
 

Gamisch

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2022
Messages
4,056
Reaction score
4,774
:rofl:



If cold approaching women is part of your life as a man, then what can a wingman possibly do for you?

@Gamisch with all due respect, I can go over and talk to her myself. Appreciate it, tho :up:

That is just a hypothetical haha.

You can see my point, and I expect the same from you.
I was just doing an entire stand up sketch on that while making some thee :rofl: .

Imagine having to call your homeboy because somebody puts you on the spot and sh1t gets real:rofl::rofl:

I agree , I cant imagine having a wingman at this stage of my life . Cmon now..
 

If you want to talk, talk to your friends. If you want a girl to like you, listen to her, ask questions, and act like you are on the edge of your seat.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Top