"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Has anyone here been in love?

Have you ever been in love?

  • Yes

    Votes: 25 62.5%
  • No

    Votes: 3 7.5%
  • Not sure

    Votes: 7 17.5%
  • Doesn't exist

    Votes: 5 12.5%

  • Total voters
    40

Mr Wright

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If so share because really deep down on some sort of level thats why most of us are here. I've found someone who at the moment makes me happy and I wouldnt want to do anything to ruin that, those feelings may change in the future but its all about the present.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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P

perseverance

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No!

Thank Christ.

I have seen the way that people who are supposedly "in love" behave and it's horrendous, though not as horrendous as when things go down the toilet and those people lose all sense of dignity and start acting like odd-balls.

People who are 'in love' aren't in control, they are being controlled by a mind altering chemical, a mirage, a figment of the imagination. This substance 'love' is as dangerous as crystal meth! Did you know that in the immediate aftermath of the publication of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe's book 'Sorrows of young Werther' there was an epidemic of heartbroken young, foolish committing suicide across Europe?

I don't believe in love anyway, as Karl Marx said about religion being the opium of the mind, I too believe this to be true of love. It's not real and it never lasts, it works in romantic novels and it works in the confines of Hollywood, but like Marxism it's just unimplementable in the real word.

I like being in control and I don't like the idea of some mythical nonsense dictating my thoughts, my feelings and how I go about my business. I want to be able to be pragmatic in life and such mind altering lunacy will prevent me from doing that and that's grossly unacceptable to me.
 

floydb25

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Obsessive love, yes. Real love, no. I never really liked the people I gave my heart to - just the feeling I got from them. The mixed emotions, uncertainty, rush, etc. I can't say it was real love, or even real like, but it was something else. I suspect it was being in love with the idea of being in love, and making that idea a reality. It's strange and confusing. There were definitely strong feelings, care and love, heart-break, and all that stuff, but it wasn't real love. A lot of infatuation was involved; wearing my heart on a sleeve; forcing love to happen; etc.

It was filling a void more than anything. I had a crush, felt like ****, they made me feel good... It was an escape. I didn't like reality, and created a fantasy with them. Head up in the clouds; not wanting to come back down. It felt good, but wasn't real. ****, it wasn't even mutual. But, I didn't care. All they had to do was be hot, and give me that rush, and I went in heart-first. Doh. Came a long way since then.

I don't believe that a lot of people in bad relationships are in love. "But I love them!" Nah... They just love the feelings they get from them. They hate the actual person. That's not love. It's just crazy emotions, which can be addicting to some people - especially when they have issues, and thrive off craziness and drama.
 

Cassify

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i've been in love before and i think the media today overrates love like theres no tomorrow...seriously
it's not that INCREDIBLE thing
 

In2theGame

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I have been in love Yes. When i first met my ex, I was spinning a lot of girls and was carrying around a "i dont give a F*ck" attitude and was pretty cold towards any girl i was hooking up with, its funny because having that attitude made the girls want me more. Then thats when it happened... i met up with her and although this is going to sound so corny or so fairytalish .. when we first laid eyes on each other it was a feeling that till this day i cant describe but... i was holding it off... sort of fighting it off so i dont get suckered in by having feelings for a girl. anyway... we had an awesome time together... we were really into each other but i was fighting with myself NOT TO GET INVOLVED!. one night it was too much... i took her for a slow dance.. and while we were dancing we were looking into each others eyes... she started tearing up... and it made me want to tear up because we were feeling the same thing without saying anything. I didnt want to say i love you... but i did say i feel like i have love for you... again.. i cant describe the feeling but it was strong between her and i and i knew that we fell in love with each other at that moment.

From that point... were we so close and of course your on a high. We were together for 5 years and i felt myself joined as one with her, Even after the years went by and she gained weight or the high went down... i still felt the same about her. Fast forward towards the end.... One night.. i had a dream that she F*cked someone else behind my back. I woke up with the feeling in my stomach gut area that was so strong it made me panic, all because of this dream. guess what.. the dream proved to be correct. Even before i knew anything.. My heart and gut instincts knew before i actually "knew". I spoke to her that day and she was crying non stop.. wouldnt tell me what was wrong and from that point on everything went downhill and once she was in my house crying... she grabbed me tight and shaking. she asked me if i would take her back if she did something.. i said no.... (the hardest No i ever had to say) she collapsed on the floor crying. from that point she turned into someone i hardly knew... it was over. she ran off with another guy and is now married to him soon after me. The End :)
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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nismo-4

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AFAIC, Love is a 4 letter word. True love that all men actually want only exists in the movies and fairy tales. Bullsh*t media.

I've lately noticed that it can be an acronym for:

Lies
Overvalued
Vagina
Extortion.

These days, true love doesn't exist for men, and in most cases, lasts as long as the money holds out. There are exceptions.
 
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MisterD

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I've never been in love.

Been in serious lust though where I'd do all sorts of afc **** until I sat back and asked myself, would I be doing all this stuff for her if she didn't have kim kardashian's ass?

Would I be doing all this if she was flat chested?

The answers always came back as "no", so I would move on.
 

bigneil

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Love can be defined in many ways:

1) Mutual High Interest Level - Happens a few times in life. "We were in love".

2) A woman who provides sex exclusively to a man primarily to achieve orgasms. This is more rare and if you find it, it normally only exists for a few months. It's worth the trouble when you find this. "She was in love with me".

3) An emergent property that occurs when two people open their heart chakras to oneanother (the classic example of this is fireworks during a kiss). This is real and extremely rare but you seek it without knowing it. It's the closest experience a man can have to going back in the womb. "We made love".

4) A temporary high designed to keep a man addicted to a woman until she has a child. "Love is the illusion that one c*nt is different than another".

Yes, I have achieved all of these, and didn't expect any to last forever because:

5) A woman who will die for her man unconditionally, the way a man would for his princess....

Does not exist except for mother and child. We were duped by her into thinking we could find another woman who loves us as much as she did - we can't. We were hers, a subset of a woman.
 

Zerro

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I've been in limerence a few times, but never in a situation where the love was returned. My current girlfriend seems to worship the ground I walk on and I do like her a lot but at this early it can't be more than infatuation.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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AAAgent

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Love is something that is reciprocated IMO. Otherwise it's just infatuation or worse, obsession.
 

MM92

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I find it ridiculous how people speak about love like it's some powerful force. It is real, but it's just an emotion that comes and goes and makes people not think straight and do ridiculous things. Just like any other emotion sometimes like anger or sadness.
 

zekko

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Cassify said:
i've been in love before and i think the media today overrates love like theres no tomorrow...seriously
it's not that INCREDIBLE thing
I think that if you're the kind of person who can appreciate the simple things in life, like the sunrise, as an incredible thing, then I think you'd have to say that love is an incredible thing.

The problem is that it doesn't always end well. In fact, it usually doesn't, especially these days. Which means you have to appreciate it all the more while it's going well. Kind of like treasure each moment of your life, because you're going to run out of days sooner or later.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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PDubb75

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I kinda feel bad for the people who feel it doesn't exist. When you truly fall in love with someone, the feeling is indescribable. It is instantly obvious that it's not just "another feeling" that we experience. It is a whole different level.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, I would say you have never truly been in love with someone. And as someone else mentioned, I think it needs to be mutual for you to feel what I'm talking about. Without her feeling it, you are missing an important piece that holds you back from really getting there.

But damn can it hurt...
 

ebracer05

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You guys all sound like a bunch of men who got p1ssed off over a woman who really hurt you or multiple women who hurt you and have become all defensive as a result. Especially bigneil and Nismo's responses... I mean, come on guys. bigneil, you think you can define a concept like love in terms of some sterilized title like Mutual High Interest Level???

This is the only response that makes any sense so far:

Zekko said:
I think that if you're the kind of person who can appreciate the simple things in life, like the sunrise, as an incredible thing, then I think you'd have to say that love is an incredible thing.

The problem is that it doesn't always end well. In fact, it usually doesn't, especially these days. Which means you have to appreciate it all the more while it's going well. Kind of like treasure each moment of your life, because you're going to run out of days sooner or later.
As Nismo alluded to, there is some vagina overvaluing going on here but not in the way he described. Not all women are crazy BDPs, they're not all irrational, and they're not all out to get us as guys. But when a guy starts out with an overinflated since of what it is that he's after in a woman (ie, he has put her or women in general on a pedestal), should the crap ever hit the fan, the pain the guy experiences is likely to drive him to want to reframe the very painful problem in terms that make it easier for him to deal with... like I've said before, people generally take the easiest road available to them, even when it's not in the best long term strategy or solution.

When a boy grows up wanting to find "love" in a girl and upon growing up, realizes he's been summarily disappointed because he was either a huge AFC and didn't know what in the world he was doing or happened to chose very poor women, the easiest thing for him to do to help ameliorate the pain is to create a straw man argument: The problem isn't that I have bad skills with women, that I don't take care of myself, that I choose low quality women, or that I don't have the perseverance to search diligently, even in the face of failure, to find this love I want - the problem is that love actually doesn't exist! Or maybe the problem is that love does exist in theory, but it can't be functionally applied anymore because all women are absolutely worthless creatures and way too crazy to invest in... besides, you can't even trust them! Those self centered little things will only ever love their children, after all.

The problem can't possibly be that I, as a *man*, somehow at some point in time in my relationship journey, could have done something to mess things up because I haven't really been the man. Oh no, of course not! And the problem certainly couldn't be that I've expected tremendously more out of my relationships than have been reasonable to expect... never...

Guys.

I have never advocated that the Disney version of love where two people kiss, instantly fall in love, and fireworks spontaneously start going off in a background behind a castle exists. That's foolish and not even a sane description of anything human. And I really don't even think it would be all that bad if it weren't for the pervasive footholds that feminism and male shaming have achieved in society. Boys grow up pretending to be soldiers, people of power, and superhumans (at least those with imaginations). What is so wrong with a girl growing up pretending to be a princess waiting for a manly prince to come rescue her (provided she can maintain a grounded view of reality)?

But that isn't the point. True love between a man and a woman exists, but like Zekko said, if you can't appreciate the beauty around you in a given moment, you're certainly never going to be able to experience a concept like love. Love requires certain conditions that are not easy to meet. You have to search very diligently for it, if that's what you want. You can't have some expectation that if you do 100 cold approaches you'll find someone worthy of that level of comradery. What in the world kind of expectations do you all have?? Floyd started to hit on some of the evolutionary psychology explanations for love, like how we don't love because we actually love, instead, we love because of how that person makes us feel. Let's get a little deeper in to science for a moment - given how fundamentally unique each of you are from every us person on the earth (consider the genetic and environmental implications), how in the h*ll do you think finding someone to fall in love with and share a long or maybe even the rest of your life with is going to be a quick thing, even in the realm of a few years???

I have said it at least 2 times now, but I'll say it again... you guys all sound bitter because you've been disappointed. Pain can blind a person's senses just as much as ignorance and it sounds like you all are operating from a position of past hurt. I think every does to an extent. The difference is that some people are able to manage the pain and hurt they experience and some don't. And your pain either defines you or challenges you to higher planes in your life. Too many of you sound like you've been defined by your pain.

And btw, there is a component of love that is an emotion, but there is also a component of love that transcends emotion. It's a commitment to a higher purpose. It occurs when you have found someone whose company you enjoy so much that they are a compliment to your life more so than they are a liability. The good significantly outweighs the bad. But that doesn't mean there isn't any bad. The commitment to a higher purpose occurs during the bad, when you can identify that you may not necessarily feel "in love", but you don't just jump ship because you are intelligent enough to understand that nothing in life is perfect and everything has its ups and downs. AFC's misunderstand things like this and use it to justify and rationalize staying in a lousy relationship even when their good/bad "calculus" would indicate that not only are they not really in love, but their relationship is more of a liability than it is an enhancement. And that's stupid.

I would venture to say that you guys got bitter and discouraged out of a hurt(s) and just gave up. That doesn't mean love doesn't exist. It just means it doesn't exist for you because you didn't have the tenacity to seek after it until you found it.
 

In2theGame

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PDubb75 said:
I kinda feel bad for the people who feel it doesn't exist. When you truly fall in love with someone, the feeling is indescribable. It is instantly obvious that it's not just "another feeling" that we experience. It is a whole different level.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, I would say you have never truly been in love with someone. And as someone else mentioned, I think it needs to be mutual for you to feel what I'm talking about. Without her feeling it, you are missing an important piece that holds you back from really getting there.

But damn can it hurt...
I felt exactly what you described. Its a feeling you cant describe with words. Can it hurt? thats an understatement lol
 

Who Dares Win

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I've been in love with every girl who loved me,that I found attractive and with which I had sex and intimacy and which completely surrendered herself to me...no love exists outside that condition.
 

bigneil

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Blah blah blah. Brace yourself for more eblabbing from ebracer05.

I voted Yes to the OP, provided 5 definitions of love, 4 of which I experienced (most recently), but ebracer05 (who must be female) quotes only one and assumes I must just be bitter toward women for not wording it in 2000 words or more like she did?

Then she doesn't give a concise definition of love (which means putting things in as FEW words as possible, like Mutual High Interest).
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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