Has anyone else notices this?

[Canadian Catnip]

First let me say that this question is directed towards the more mature, more DJ readers of SoSuave.

But first a little history to bring people up to speed before asking my question.

Back in my more AFC days I used to approach women that I thought were attractive with a sort of, does she like me body language and attitude. I was looking for approval and acceptance from just about every women I interacted with. Needless to say it never worked out for me and I found a lot of the women were either indifferent to me or slightly disgusted by my neediness.

In hindsight it was a strange time, I knew that what I was doing was not working but I did not know how to change myself. I actually thought for the longest time that there was something wrong with ME.

After many years I have matured enough to realize that any approacher that screams, please like me, is bound to fail.

This brings me to my question that I have alluded to in the topic of my post. Nowadays when approaching women I am pretty much unattached to any outcome and even though I engage them I do my level best to keep myself showing a certain amount of disinterest.

This seems to work wonders and I have found that women will react in one of two ways. They will either be completely disinterested themselves or they will be nice and friendly and look like they are trying to figure out if I like them.

So finally the question, If someone has experienced this niceness from a chick is it because she is actually into you or is it that she is just seeking validation?

I am trying to figure out if the chicks that pay attention to me really like me or are just trying to get the reaction they expect from every other guy. Are they trying to test me or push my buttons or see if I am wired right? Or are they nice to me because I have triggered some attraction in them.

 

[wjh]

As a general rule, always assume they like you.

Don't over analyze unless it's obvious she's messing with you. And if it's that obvious, mess with her back, show her who's boss. Don't let some girl punk you.

 

[potato]

It depends. You know, if you pay attention, women tend to be harsh on guys who are, I guess you could say, socially annoying, as some of the worst AFC’s tend to be. On the flip side though they tend to be more accepting, friendlier towards those they find socially pleasant, even if they’re not attracted to them.

That is, if they find you to be socially acceptable, meaning okay to hang out in their social circle, okay to date their friends, they’ll be nice to you, talk to you. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they are attracted to you.

It seems to me that if a woman is attracted to you, and the two of you are being friendly with each other, she’ll let you know, either by hints, or directly saying something. Just remember, when it comes to letting someone know that they like them, they really aren’t all that different from men. It’s like they want to say something but hesitate because they don’t want to come off as a dork, or give their power away, all the same things guys think about, all the same insecurities and fears.

 

[Ace of Flames]

So finally the question, If someone has experienced this niceness from a chick is it because she is actually into you or is it that she is just seeking validation?

I am trying to figure out if the chicks that pay attention to me really like me or are just trying to get the reaction they expect from every other guy. Are they trying to test me or push my buttons or see if I am wired right? Or are they nice to me because I have triggered some attraction in them.

Its not important. As long as she's talking to you, you can mold it however you want. If she's attracted to you initially, then its just less work for you.

Do you get what I'm saying? Its not important if they like you or not. If you're doing your DJ thing, then she'll figure out pretty quick that she BETTER like you, since you're a catch. And if she never becomes attracted to you, you don't want her anyway. Make friends and use her for social proof or hook up with her friends.