Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Jerk or Nce? I have never regretted being a jerk. Being NICE? I have.Mustache said:As a 41 y.o. man, it's hard for me to look behind and see how jerk I was
Sometimes I don't believe it was me
Mustache
Don't.Mustache said:As a 41 y.o. man, it's hard for me to look behind and see how jerk I was...
i agree.Francisco d'Anconia said:Don't.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Isn't it funny how timing is often even more important than anything?joekerr31 said:the only regrets i have in my life are that i smoked and that i let one woman slip away when i was like 16 or something (who knows if shes still a catch, but im telling ya, she was a good wholesome girl, an a gymnyst) she was so in to me, but my life was a mess at that 16 and i couldn't deal with a 'good' girl in my life.
thats the matrix talking.Analytic said:regret is about the only thing on my mind these days, I don't know when I'll ever rid of it. I regret not trying hard enough, not lived enough.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
How about being caught up in the stereotypical, mundane ideals. Being caught up in doing the same things over and over without slowing down to take control and navigate purposely through a situation. Careening down the roads of runaway relationships as if you were on a speeding bus that would blow up if you'd slow down just a bit...Master Bates said:Do you think people on this board could start using an analogy that doesn't invoke images of Keanu Reeves in a kungfu outfit when discussing such serious matters?
or how about having the devil on your shoulder making you feel like everything is alright, while slowly you sell out everything you believe in. and in the end, when you realize that you've lost everything that mattered, having things just repeat themselves all over again.Master Bates said:Do you think people on this board could start using an analogy that doesn't invoke images of Keanu Reeves in a kungfu outfit when discussing such serious matters?
at least in this one I get to fvck my hot sister.joekerr31 said:or how about having the devil on your shoulder making you feel like everything is alright, while slowly you sell out everything you believe in. and in the end, when you realize that you've lost everything that mattered, having things just repeat themselves all over again.
Hilarious.Francisco d'Anconia said:How about being caught up in the stereotypical, mundane ideals. Being caught up in doing the same things over and over without slowing down to take control and navigate purposely through a situation. Careening down the roads of runaway relationships as if you were on a speeding bus that would blow up if you'd slow down just a bit...![]()
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Extra funny.. Straight running with it..good analogies.joekerr31 said:or how about having the devil on your shoulder making you feel like everything is alright, while slowly you sell out everything you believe in. and in the end, when you realize that you've lost everything that mattered, having things just repeat themselves all over again.
This is the only area of the matrix that still sucks me in. I'll catch myself thinking, "Man, I just turned 25. I'm halfway through my 20s and will be an old man in six years. I better get living before life starts sucking."joekerr31 said:thats the matrix talking.
the very thing that makes you think THAT, is the very thing in the past that kept you from actualizing your potential. (read that over and over until you get what im saying).
thats the insidious nature of the matrix. the more you believe in it, the more it conditions you not to believe in yourself. it convinces you that you are broken, that you are nothing special, that you're life has never been and never will be anything special, that you have failed.
this is why guys who are plugged in to the matrix marry some dumb b*tch who will ruin their lives because they think their lives were already ruined.
the matrix creates depression, apathy, envy, jealousy, low self esteem, and especially regret.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.