Has a girl ever come over to your place....

[AlmostThere!]

and she declines to do anything?

 

[SmoothTalker]

You should probably give us a bit more information.

To answer your very general question, yes, of course.

 

[AlmostThere!]

It felt like I screwed up again. I was supposed to go out with this chick tonight, but she stood me up. Then I texted her and said I'm going home. She texts back which I don't respond too. She then calls me and said do I want her to come over. I said do whatever you want.

So she comes over, but she was resistant to every move I made. And she never got totally comfortable (her body was pretty tense). This was a WTF moment because she asked "so did i come over here to watch tv?" and I said "no, there's other stuff we can do". Her response was "like what?". I wanted to say "tap that ass", but I said "I can give you a massage since your back hurts but you have to be lying down"...and again, she declines.

I didn't know what else to do. Her body language was totally cold. She wasted my time TWICE. I shouldn't have even answered her phone call.

 

[Allurre]

I think the root of the problem to your scenario is that you haven't established a strong comfort level with her yet; which is evident in what you said.

Try to keep things more on a playful note, which is what I think is missing in your interaction.

Since she's already over at your place, she obviously wants to get some, but your problem is making the transition seamless.

 

[King Turi]

Dude, saying "tap that ass" would have been way better given the situation.

Since it seemed kinda awkward, dropping the massage thing would have made you sound like a creep.

Dropping "tap that ass" would have reduced the creepiness, maybe got you some ass, maybe got her laughing, who knows.
But it way less creepy than the line you dropped.

 

[bukowski_merit]

Dude, saying "tap that ass" would have been way better given the situation.

Since it seemed kinda awkward, dropping the massage thing would have made you sound like a creep.

Dropping "tap that ass" would have reduced the creepiness, maybe got you some ass, maybe got her laughing, who knows.
But it way less creepy than the line you dropped.

I agree!

And stop verbalizing what you're going to do to a woman unless it's a joke and stop asking for permission to do it.

Girl: "Like what?"
You: "Tap that ass!" (using your example)
Girl: "What?"
You: "Tap that ass!"
Girl: "Yeah ok"
You: (laughing) "Im just fvcking (pause... hold it) with you,"

now attempt to do some light kino/massage to her hand... work from there.... never saying "i want to give you a massage" or "do you want a massage?"

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Listen to me very good, NOW!!!

Please provide more info regarding these interactions. Is this one of the two girls who flaked and you were talking about a couple of days ago? You don't respond to my feedback and advice, then I see you starting new threads and doing some bonehead moves yet again, as if you learned nothing from your own past mistakes. Yes, it is my choice to not offer anymore advice, so I won't be doing it if I feel it is being ignored, and I'll just shupt up and let others help you out. Answer the questions and make it easy for us to diagnose the situations you are creating, yet are not even aware you are causing. That's the only way you can learn from our efforts to help you, plus, it's just common courtesy, ya feel me dawg!?

Yes, she is interested, yes, you are making a bunch of rookie mistakes, and yes, you are being tested, but YOU yourself are the one creating a lot of these situations where you are being tested and judged. She might have been testing you intentionally or not, wether she is aware or not, yet IT IS YOUR REACTIONs TO HER ACTIONS THAT REVEAL MORE TO HER MORE ABOUT YOUR INNER MAKEUP than her tests themselves. She might not be doing stuff to test you, but YOUR REACTIONS are communicating more than any intentional tests she might have thrown at you.

It felt like I screwed up again. I was supposed to go out with this chick tonight, but she stood me up. Then I texted her and said I'm going home.

Again, is this the same chick from before? If so, WHY ARE YOU TEXTING? Weren't you adviced to stop texting and make a simple phone call? If that wasn't her, WHY ARE YOU TEXTING? Didn't you learn from your previous "date" flake out?

She texts back which I don't respond too. She then calls me and said do I want her to come over. I said do whatever you want.

At this point, she's pretty much at your mercy, and asking you to lead her, yet you can't be assertive, and manage to come across as angry and rattled at the fact that she flaked.

So she comes over, but she was resistant to every move I made. And she never got totally comfortable (her body was pretty tense). This was a WTF moment because she asked "so did i come over here to watch tv?" and I said "no, there's other stuff we can do".

Off course she was resistant. She could tell you were still rattled and was never able to get comfortable. If this is the same chick from a few days ago, then you needed to go back to square one and escalate. You can't expect to just pick it up where you left off.

"no, there's other stuff we ca do."? You need to know exactly what you're gonna say when this sort of stuff comes up again. Have several responses.

Her response was "like what?". I wanted to say "tap that ass", but I said "I can give you a massage since your back hurts but you have to be lying down"...and again, she declines.

I have to disagree with the fellows who said "Tap that ass" would have been a good response. Not when she sees you are sort of pi$sed off and bothered. There is no way you would have said it in a teasing, funny way. It would have come out more with a smart a$s tone and vibe. Your head wasn't all there yet.

Offering a massage was so clear to her as to what you were up to. Too direct for the type of evening you were having. Yes, they want and like sex, but MOST women are not used to being that direct, specially when they haven't been intimate with you before. It ruins the fun for them. She wasn't about to just let her feel her up. Again, is this the same broad from before? Wether it was or wasn't, have you kissed her or had soem heavy making out going on? It is all about progressing, not jumping into the cold water in the pool, without first testing the temperature. I know, it makes no sense to us guys, but that's how those creatures respond.

Plus, you offering to do something "nice" just came across as creepy and as rewarding her 2nd class behavior by offering to take care of her. This is a girl who just flaked an hour or so before, the frame needs to be more of a "How will you make it up to me?" She wasn't looking to "test" you, but your response made you appear weak and tolerant of her second class behavior. Wether you like it or not, they judge us on how we react, even it the situation was their fault to begin with. She's thinking, "Hmm, he's obviously pi$sed off at me, but he wants sex so bad that he will tolerate anything I've done so far, for a chance at playing naked with me. Let me test him more." I know, they are probably not thinking this way consciously, yet it is the same result for you in the end. At that point, you practically had no chance at passing her more intermediate-advanced level testing. You were done man!

I didn't know what else to do. Her body language was totally cold. She wasted my time TWICE. I shouldn't have even answered her phone call.

She is saying the same thing. She doesn't want to waste her time, TWICE, with guys who don't know what the score is, and don't know how to take the seduction from A all the way to Z. You are the man, you are supposed to lead. She wants you to lead, and not have to take the responsibility for the end result. She delivered herself to your door, on a silver platter, and you didn't have a plan. There are steps they need to be taken through. You CANNOT be skipping steps or leaving some out. Not when you are not experienced enough to cut corners. Make sure you have some kind of plan next time, along with a couple of default moves.

Her body language GOT COLD right away after you failed to give her the right answers to justify her being there alone with you at your place. She showed up to your place, ready to be lead. You've been too passive, and that can never be good news. It makes her them start getting cold feet and question why they are even there to begin with. It sounds like you were still too rattled from the "flake" and still didn't have your head clear to think quick on your feet.

Learn something from this. Whatever you do, DO NOT communicate to her just how angry you are that she wasted your time, at least not if you actually are going to keep working on her.

 

[King Turi]

Eh, perhaps you're right.

I personally never let things get to me, but yeah, if he was moping around all pissed off and stuff, he really should have told her he had stuff to do and not let her come over in the first place.