Hard to read this one. Dating for about a month

[DEEZEDBRAH]

yea but they sure look good at that age lol

That is all that matters. Women base their sense of value not on their intelligence but, on the novelty that is their SMV and of course, chasing a career all the while, squandering their greatest asset as a booty call.

Feels good man.

Brb guys, charging up my troll cannon for when past SMV bae starts talking LTR!

 

[R.U.G.]

Depends on where the OP lives. If it's SoBE/Miami, NYC, LA, Chi-town, etc. Women 18 - 40 are hard to deal with at any age.

 

[StrayCat]

So, here's the recap of last nights visit. Because of traffic and rain, she was a bit late. Said it took her 1.5 hours to get to my place. Whereas, it takes me about 45 mins to get to hers. I did tell here a few times the best way to go, but she rather go her way. She stated that she was thinking about going through the back roads next time (her parent's house is like 20 mins away). Who knows. She was on her period, so no sex, but a lot of kissing and touching, just not around her nether region. She stayed over and seemed and left early morning. She did drop some hints like how did I know she was still coming as I hadn't spoken to her in 5 days. I said, simple, I texted you the day and date, which you confirmed. She then stated, I do not know why you cannot call when you're not busy or driving just to say hi. I said, I'm very busy and it also works both ways. In the last six weeks, aside from when she was "sick", she reached out once. She's also active on Match, so until I see different, I am not going to put more into whatever we have until I see she does. I was thinking of doing the midweek thing, but if she still has her period this week, what's the point.

Would it be best to skip a week and contact her not this Monday, but next to schedule plans? Hard to read this one, as she did drive (this is her second time) to my place. The first time took her an hour as well. I have other dates lined up in the meantime with women who are closer. It's hard to juggle two, an I have two others who've just reached out. I'd still prefer this one so far over the others. I swear, I feel I am treating her (and the others) like a piece of meat, and I do not like it; but it seems that is how the game is played now.

So confused.

 

[StrayCat]

Relax and don't take ANYTHING to seriously. Your goal should be to just have a good time and you dont own these women. If they like you great if they stop liking you don't sweat it and don't analyze why, it doesn't matter. You can influence others to an extent you only control yourself. Just be cool women love this.

Trust when I say I come over as cool and calm. I had a good time, but the lack of sex was a bit frustrating. My job requires me not to show emotion or lose control, so I've never had a problem bringing that over to my personal life.

 

[CMNILS87]

Wait so you’re both 36. She’s over the hill and hasn’t locked a man down. You should be dating a 26-7 year old if you want kids. She was really nervous about your first time as a 36 year old?? That’s like she’s really worried that if she put out too early that she’d look like a slut, but not act like one, but really she’s a full blown online dating slit. Wrap your tool man

 

[R.U.G.]

You seem to like this one. We do not really control who we like or not like. She may be dating others or just staying online and seeing what's out there. If she allowed you to sleep at her place and then she slept at your place, that is usually a good sign. Many women are conscious of themselves when they meet a new dude. Her not having sex with you on her period is not unheard of. It means she cares what you think. It seems, you are trying to play it cool with her, and she's trying to play it cool with you. I'd stick to calling once a week. The sleeping over w/o sex on her period was a test. No doubt. You seemed to have passed that one. Call her this week (she will be expecting the call). Reason being, since you didn't have sex over your last encounter, she is sh!t testing you (prob. unknowingly) to see if she's just a lay for you or something more. Whether it is or it isn't, that's irrelevant. Call her and setup another date for next weekend. Then, next Monday or Tuesday, setup a mid-week date and can her for the weekend. It will put a nice twist on things and she will not be expecting it. It should make her hamster wheel spin like the wind.

I do not know if she is a slut, but if you catch a woman on the right day, they are all sluts. Remember, she's not yours, it's just your turn. Always wrap up your d!ck. Do not lick her until you have an STD test though.

 

[StrayCat]

I'd not play games like that - you already had sex with her, remember?

If she expects you to call on particular day because you've set some pattern of calls (ritual), you may be late with the call (like 1 day late tops) but if you will call her with a week-delay, you may already be in the *******-zone in her mind.

Long distance dating has already some obstacles and if she is willing to meet with you and does 1,5 hour trip just to meet with you, interest level is more than ok imo.

I'd view last meeting as a bonding-meeting => clear sign that she might be more into you than you think (dating is a game at the beginning, but women tend to put more effort into not showing their real interest level), I'd say her is high enough to not game her that hard.

imho you are doing good & with solid frame. Call her on Monday to set the meeting, have a 10 mins chat (she will think it should be at least 20 so make it only 10) but don't call her to chat during the week unless she will call you (confirmation call before the meeting is ok just don't make it only about the confirmation, ask question like 'so how's your day?" and receive the answer). if she will call you during the week to talk, chat around 20 mins (additional minutes being reward for her reaching out you) but after 20 mins carry on with the 'being really busy here lass' attitude.

I'm not aware how this dating site you've checked her activity on works but I presume if you can check her activity, she can check yours as well (when you were logged on last time) - I'd stop checking it. I'd say you're already on a good road to make it exclusive with her, so just pass that ****-test (it's self-created ****test really) and ignore it alltogether - either you feel that she may deserve you and you want her 100% so 'make a kill' and organise quality dates with her and have fun OR spin plates - don't try to be exclusive & spin plates because it's against your current strategy.

Strategy: I want one good chick to be exclusive with and she might be the one to be with
Tactic: Stop spinning plates until you will confirm she is worthy to be exlusive with

Strategy: I want to spin plates, that's it
Tactic: Keep spinning plates w/o any attachment

You can always go back to spinning plates, but being a man means also putting yourself in the no-cover zone - now it's the part when you're running out of the cover hoping that covering fire you've organised yourself (interest level/good sex with her) will allow you to reach another objective.

If you are interested in exclusivity, don't talk with her about it, just show the strong frame and act like she perhaps is exclusive already (not in the wuss-manner, no sweet talks etc, have fun with her, spend quality time, no needless overthinking how this will proceed further) if she will ask is there someone else, reply with a question instead of giving straight answer - she should be the one to start this conversation really.

1)Have a great sex with her 2)Have a great time with her (not FOR her, WITH her, I think in the longterm it's more important than point 1) - have honest fun from dating 3)Keep your emotions in control until she will make her decision (it's always woman decision really, so asking about it or overreacting before she will make her mind would be stupid/AFCish)

You're doing fine man. Even if it will not go in this direction, you can always go back to spinning plates and be happy about yourself.

I'd say it's the part in the game when you've already slayed the boss and you're worried if you've enough ammo to finish the level - just keep shooting with a firm arm and you will do it as skills are already there.

Best,

mark

You make some good points. Thank you. I actually thought she was going to cancel due to the weather. She did text having to move the time later as she was stuck in traffic. I expected she was going to text saying she was going to turn around due to the traffic. When she arrived, she was quite pleasant. She stated the traffic issue and I did suggest she follow the route I suggested, but she said she'll take the back route next time. She also told me, by her own volition, why she couldn't see me on Saturday and where she was going. Though, there is no way to know if she's telling the truth or not. My profile on Match.com is hidden, as I do not want to be on public view. She doesn't know if I am online or not with Match. Problem is that I was cheated on in my last relationship four months in, so I am a bit shaded with trust when dealing with women. A lot of the women who live near me also live with their parents, even in their mid-30s, so I am open to go up to 50 miles or an hour away for a woman. I will not go into the city because of the added expense of tolls and parking. It can cost upwards of 50 - 75 bucks just to get into the city and park. Adding that on top of drinks, is just not manageable. She also reached out to me, so I know there is/was interest.

I will reach out tomorrow and see if she's up for plans in her city. If she agrees, that should be a good sign. I do wonder if she's going to deny sex next weekend. I know she had her period, and I just threw out the garbage. I can confirm that her tampon was in there wrapped up. At least she didn't lie about that. I just do not want to invest into something so that I am hurt again. When I found out my ex cheated on me, about a year ago, it really hurt. I vowed never to get that invested that easily into a woman again and always stay logical on my decisions. TBH, I was surprised we had sex a few times a couple of weeks ago. It didn't seem she was interested sexually as she kept on blocking me when I arrived at her place. At the end of the date, she was the complete opposite. I did tease her on Friday calling her a tease on kissing and touching, but not going any further.

 

[StrayCat]

Wait so you’re both 36. She’s over the hill and hasn’t locked a man down. You should be dating a 26-7 year old if you want kids. She was really nervous about your first time as a 36 year old?? That’s like she’s really worried that if she put out too early that she’d look like a slut, but not act like one, but really she’s a full blown online dating slit. Wrap your tool man

Not all women are over the hill at 36. Look at Liz Hurley, and she's 52. You wouldn't bang her?

This one is very close to what she looks like, but obviously younger and has blond hair instead of a brunette. Same tight body and figure.

 

[StrayCat]

The best way to not come off as needy is to not FEEL needy.

I do not believe I do. Maybe a bit too touchy feely during intimacy, but that is about it. I've never been called needy, only the opposite, aloof. It's probably in my mind.

 

[StrayCat]

You seem to like this one. We do not really control who we like or not like. She may be dating others or just staying online and seeing what's out there. If she allowed you to sleep at her place and then she slept at your place, that is usually a good sign. Many women are conscious of themselves when they meet a new dude. Her not having sex with you on her period is not unheard of. It means she cares what you think. It seems, you are trying to play it cool with her, and she's trying to play it cool with you. I'd stick to calling once a week. The sleeping over w/o sex on her period was a test. No doubt. You seemed to have passed that one. Call her this week (she will be expecting the call). Reason being, since you didn't have sex over your last encounter, she is sh!t testing you (prob. unknowingly) to see if she's just a lay for you or something more. Whether it is or it isn't, that's irrelevant. Call her and setup another date for next weekend. Then, next Monday or Tuesday, setup a mid-week date and can her for the weekend. It will put a nice twist on things and she will not be expecting it. It should make her hamster wheel spin like the wind.

I do not know if she is a slut, but if you catch a woman on the right day, they are all sluts. Remember, she's not yours, it's just your turn. Always wrap up your d!ck. Do not lick her until you have an STD test though.

I just go by the observation that trust, but verify. It's just very hard to trust any of them; especially the attractive ones. I've stayed far away from the really attractive ones, even if they've messaged me. God only knows how many men have been in them.

 

[CMNILS87]

Not all women are over the hill at 36. Look at Liz Hurley, and she's 52. You wouldn't bang her?

This one is very close to what she looks like, but obviously younger and has blond hair instead of a brunette. Same tight body and figure.

A 36 year old is 5 years over the hill for having kids man... what guy would want to have kids with a mid/late 30’s Woman.....

 

[StrayCat]

A 36 year old is 5 years over the hill for having kids man... what guy would want to have kids with a mid/late 30’s Woman.....

Lucky for me she doesn't want kids. So that is not an issue. She even said it's past her due date for kids. At least she's somewhat level headed in that regard.

 

[CMNILS87]

Lucky for me she doesn't want kids. So that is not an issue. She even said it's past her due date for kids. At least she's somewhat level headed in that regard.

Doesn’t mean she couldn’t randomly get preggo dude

 

[StrayCat]

Doesn’t mean she couldn’t randomly get preggo dude

No doubt. That's what condoms are for.

 

[StrayCat]

Called around 7pm, went to VM, but didn't leave a message. It'll show missed call from StrayCat. One would assumed she would had called me back. Not a good sign. Ideas on how to proceed? Call her again in a week or just let sleeping dogs lie? She's always answered the phone when I called, but it just rang and rang then went to VM. Corey Wayne states to wait another week until attempting again. Very strange behavior, as she was holding on and snuggling on me on Friday night. Only stated this as I wouldn't had thought of her ghosting due to that, driving through 1.5 hrs of traffic an sleeping over at my place. I assumed that meant interest. Not going to overly chase.

I will schedule dates with the other ones I have communicating with me this week in place of her. Still sucks.

 

[StrayCat]

Interestingly enough, she called tonight, around 24 hours later. Strange. I said I did call you last night as I wanted to see if you wanted to get dinner last night, she replied stating she was out and that I should had left a VM. I moved forward to conversation on how things are doing, and the convo was pretty fluid. I then said I'd like to see you this weekend, and she replied I'm going to Nantucket for the weekend. I said, okay, well have a good time. Perhaps we can do something next weekend and ended the call. I think it's best to go dark moving forward and sees if she reaches out next week. If I was a betting man, I would gather no. Then again, I do not read women very well, so she could she be doing standard sh!t tests to see how I act.

In other news, the date on Saturday didn't go very well. She offered to pay, I declined and she gave me the cheek to kiss. Next. I have three other women at bat. This dating thing is a pain. Not sure if the juice is worth the squeeze. I often wonder if most of the women on OLD are damaged or just been fvcked over so much, they are just jaded.

 

[LJBFB]

let the betch pay if she offers; then she is more invested in future interactions.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Not all women are over the hill at 36. Look at Liz Hurley, and she's 52. You wouldn't bang her?

This one is very close to what she looks like, but obviously younger and has blond hair instead of a brunette. Same tight body and figure.

She would get crushed. If ya take care of yourself you can look awesome 45+ man or woman. Look at Stacey dash, what is she like 48, looks great even if she was 32 or 33 years old she'd look great.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

There's really nothing strange about her behavior. This is all in your head. Would you seriously prefer a stage 5 clinger constantly calling you and wanting to see you all the time?

Hold OFF on the spontaneous calls for same night dinner dates. That's typically "BF" behavior, no need rush into that. Let her "ping" you and you set-up the date.

"I often wonder if most of the women on OLD are damaged or just been fvcked over so much, they are just jaded."

This is a pretty accurate statement. Especially anything over 28 and never married.

On a side note I can tell you anything over a 30min drive can get OLD really fast.

If she's hot then yeah no doubt she's dating other guys, probably guys that live in her city.

 

[CMNILS87]

There's really nothing strange about her behavior. This is all in your head. Would you seriously prefer a stage 5 clinger constantly calling you and wanting to see you all the time?

Hold OFF on the spontaneous calls for same night dinner dates. That's typically "BF" behavior, no need rush into that. Let her "ping" you and you set-up the date.

"I often wonder if most of the women on OLD are damaged or just been fvcked over so much, they are just jaded."

This is a pretty accurate statement. Especially anything over 28 and never married.

On a side note I can tell you anything over a 30min drive can get OLD really fast.

If she's hot then yeah no doubt she's dating other guys, probably guys that live in her city.

The only way not to get attached to a hot chick is to treat her like she’s alwsys seeing someone else. If you can sort out not getting attached you have the upper hand and she’ll come to you. Most guys fawn over them, but if you’re different they’re like “who the **** Is this ******* who isn’t hitting me up 24/7?” Subconsciously