Hard to get or leading me on?

[Mikeyj25]

Hi guys - first time poster here

I'm a 29yr old guy - i've always done well with the ladies, however have the bad habit of sleeping with women and then getting bored. I've been single around 18months out of choice and have now decided i'd like to meet someone. The girls I meet in bars tend to be bimbos so I tried Internet dating. I took several girls out and ****ed a few of them, but then came across this absolute beauty. She's 22 and is stunning. Anyhow, after exchanging a few messages we arranged to meet up....

I picked her up and we went to a few bars, we got on great and then she messaged me saying how much she'd enjoyed it. A few days later we then went for some food and to the movies. No kiss, but she said she had a great time. The next day I went on holiday for 3 weeks and over that time we text a few times, but the warmth wasn't there.

After I got back it was the same, she seemed really distant and would take days to text as opposed to seconds like before I went away. I found this strange so I backed off and stopped texting her and didn't respond when she text me. This prompted her to text me way more and eventually I asked to meet up again. I picked her up, we went out, drank lots, had a great time and she ended back at mine. We kissed alot but no sex. I tried all my usual tricks which normally work but no success - she got a cab home.

Same story - a text saying she had a lovely time but then like normal it came down to me to suggest meeting again. This time we met a week later, went for food, drinks, and then back to
Mine. This time she stayed over but again, no sex!! She got into bed and rolled over. I'm not used to it and normally as soon as a girl comes back, I can charm her pretty quick!

I really like this one and respect her that she's not put out straigt away. I guess my questions are...

Is she leading me on or playing hard to get?

Why is it always me that has to arrange the next date?

She always goes on about how many dudes ask her out - I dont react to this as I know it makes me look needy. Is there a better approach I should take here?

And finally - she texts me everyday asking how my day has been etc - I try to not always reply, mix it up, make her laugh etc but she doesn't seem to be falling for the standard methods that normally work so damn well.

Any guidance would be really appreciated. For once I've found a girl who is a real challenge and I really like her.

Thanks guys!

 

[Sofomore]

Hi guys - first time poster here

I'm a 29yr old guy - i've always done well with the ladies, however have the bad habit of sleeping with women and then getting bored. I've been single around 18months out of choice and have now decided i'd like to meet someone. The girls I meet in bars tend to be bimbos so I tried Internet dating. I took several girls out and ****ed a few of them, but then came across this absolute beauty. She's 22 and is stunning. Anyhow, after exchanging a few messages we arranged to meet up....

I picked her up and we went to a few bars, we got on great and then she messaged me saying how much she'd enjoyed it. A few days later we then went for some food and to the movies. No kiss, but she said she had a great time. The next day I went on holiday for 3 weeks and over that time we text a few times, but the warmth wasn't there.

After I got back it was the same, she seemed really distant and would take days to text as opposed to seconds like before I went away. I found this strange so I backed off and stopped texting her and didn't respond when she text me. This prompted her to text me way more and eventually I asked to meet up again. I picked her up, we went out, drank lots, had a great time and she ended back at mine. We kissed alot but no sex. I tried all my usual tricks which normally work but no success - she got a cab home.

Same story - a text saying she had a lovely time but then like normal it came down to me to suggest meeting again. This time we met a week later, went for food, drinks, and then back to
Mine. This time she stayed over but again, no sex!! She got into bed and rolled over. I'm not used to it and normally as soon as a girl comes back, I can charm her pretty quick!

I really like this one and respect her that she's not put out straigt away. I guess my questions are...

Is she leading me on or playing hard to get?

Why is it always me that has to arrange the next date?

She always goes on about how many dudes ask her out - I dont react to this as I know it makes me look needy. Is there a better approach I should take here?

And finally - she texts me everyday asking how my day has been etc - I try to not always reply, mix it up, make her laugh etc but she doesn't seem to be falling for the standard methods that normally work so damn well.

Any guidance would be really appreciated. For once I've found a girl who is a real challenge and I really like her.

Thanks guys!

Hmm you had your chance when she slept over. If I am making out with a girl in my bed and she puts up last minute resistance I just go cold. I start doing something else and act uninterested in making out with her. This pulls a trigger in her head and she thinks "what? we were just having so much fun??" and she wants to go back to making out.

Usually when she initiates the make out again its more intense and I am able to get a little further, 90% of the time leading to sex. Maybe you need to read up on foreplay? Are you escalating when you hang out? Touch arm --->touch lower back ---> make out ---> rub her ears ---> kiss her neck ---> rub her vagina through her pants ---> kiss her chest ---> shirt off ---> etc.

You have to escalate properly and push the buttons at the right time. If the make out session is getting hot enough, she will be ready to fvck 9 times out of 10.

On the other hand if she is butt naked and still doesnt want to have sex, then it implies she could have other guys that she is sleeping with, or a 100 other reasons. At that point if a girl does not sleep with me I just roll over, go to bed, and never call her again because she is playing games.

I'd give her another shot, escalate, and if you don't pull, then I'd move on to the next one. If she feels a deep attraction she will sleep with you no later than the third date unless she is a jesus freak.

 

[Bince]

Happened to me once. I basicly rolled out of bed and went to the kitchen making myself a big sandwich with mayo and came back 30 minutes later. If that doesn't work, nothing will.

 

[Mikeyj25]

Hmm you had your chance when she slept over. If I am making out with a girl in my bed and she puts up last minute resistance I just go cold. I start doing something else and act uninterested in making out with her. This pulls a trigger in her head and she thinks "what? we were just having so much fun??" and she wants to go back to making out.

Usually when she initiates the make out again its more intense and I am able to get a little further, 90% of the time leading to sex. Maybe you need to read up on foreplay? Are you escalating when you hang out? Touch arm --->touch lower back ---> make out ---> rub her ears ---> kiss her neck ---> rub her vagina through her pants ---> kiss her chest ---> shirt off ---> etc.

You have to escalate properly and push the buttons at the right time. If the make out session is getting hot enough, she will be ready to fvck 9 times out of 10.

On the other hand if she is butt naked and still doesnt want to have sex, then it implies she could have other guys that she is sleeping with, or a 100 other reasons. At that point if a girl does not sleep with me I just roll over, go to bed, and never call her again because she is playing games.

I'd give her another shot, escalate, and if you don't pull, then I'd move on to the next one. If she feels a deep attraction she will sleep with you no later than the third date unless she is a jesus freak.

Cheers dude - re the foreplay I did exactly that, it works literally 99.9% of the time but this one, damn shes hard work. The worst part is, like a reverse game it's making me want it even more.

Would you recommend me organising to meet up again or does this make me look too needy? She messaged me earlier asking how my day was, I waited a while before replying, and then no response. I can guarantee she will text me tomorrow with something along the same lines.

 

[Mikeyj25]

Happened to me once. I basicly rolled out of bed and went to the kitchen making myself a big sandwich with mayo and came back 30 minutes later. If that doesn't work, nothing will.

Haha - I got up for about ten minutes, came back and she was asleep!!

 

[Pimp-sicle]

No kiss, but she said she had a great time. The next day I went on holiday for 3 weeks and over that time we text a few times, but the warmth wasn't there.

One thing you'll learn quickly, is what women say really doesn't mean jack at the end of the day. Their actions are much more indicative of how they feel.

And with women, its ALL ABOUT how the FEEL!

Why didn't you kiss her? Especially if things were seemingly going so well?

You left for 3 weeks, without breaking the physical barrier... you didn't expect her to be eagerly awaiting your return did you?

I found this strange so I backed off and stopped texting her and didn't respond when she text me.

Its not strange at all. She wants to spend time with confident guys, who make a move. At this point, you haven't shown her that you are that guy.

I picked her up, we went out, drank lots, had a great time and she ended back at mine. We kissed alot but no sex. I tried all my usual tricks which normally work but no success - she got a cab home.

By this point it should be clear that she has the upper hand & she knows it. She has plenty of options, she also knows your interest is sky high, so she makes you chase.

Same story - a text saying she had a lovely time but then like normal it came down to me to suggest meeting again.

Her behavior isn't odd at all bro, its very typical of a in-demand woman. Don't expect a girl to be initiating dates and such so early on, especially if you haven't banged her.

I really like this one and respect her that she's not put out straigt away. I guess my questions are...

This is your problem.

Your mindset is completely @ss backwards. Your doing all the chasing, giving her all the value & she knows it.

You did well to start ignoring her when she wasn't giving you any crumbs after you got back from your trip, but then you quickly went back to the over-eager guy you were prior.

And do you REALLY respect her since she hasn't slept with you yet? That's laughable & you've been conditioned to believe that if a girl makes you wait for it, then she's in some way considered high quality. That's totally false.

Rollo said it best; sex is a not something you negotiate; its a chemical reaction between two people who are attracted to each other. If she's holding out on giving it up:

a) might be trying to control you

b) your not making her horny enough

c) she's using you for the free dates (you didn't specify whether she has pitched in on any of these dates)

Is she leading me on or playing hard to get?

Your not her #1 at this point. Your an option, but in your mind she is your #1 by far, which is why your chasing & she's enjoying the ride.

Why is it always me that has to arrange the next date?

Because of all your actions and lack there of, leading up to this point.

She always goes on about how many dudes ask her out - I dont react to this as I know it makes me look needy. Is there a better approach I should take here?

Her: So many guys ask me out
You: That's nice. What kind of drink is that lady sipping on?

-the point is to acknowledge it without giving it attention & change the subject. Or you could simply ignore it completely, as long as you don't turn into a chump or get jealous it doesn't matter.

And finally - she texts me everyday asking how my day has been etc - I try to not always reply, mix it up, make her laugh etc but she doesn't seem to be falling for the standard methods that normally work so damn well.

One thing is clear. At the moment, she likes your attention & has luke-warm interest in you.

You need to take control of the frame, start spinning more plates & a by-product of this will be your easy go with the flow attitude that women find irresistible.

Any guidance would be really appreciated. For once I've found a girl who is a real challenge and I really like her.

Tighten up your game. Show her you don't need her, while dazzling her when you two are together. Be bold, be risky, then ignore her. Keep her on her toes.

Your too predictable right now. Even if you ignore a text here and there, your chasing & chasing hard..... AND she knows it.

Raise your value in her eyes & she will want you, the way you want her right now.










PIMP

 

[Mikeyj25]

Cheers mate - some good pointers there. I'll keep you updated

 

[TheCWord]

That is some home run advice from Pimp.

 

[nismo-4]

Here's what Judge nismo sees:

1. You got this girl on some silver pedestal

2. You're chasing her

3. She's playing games

4. She's leading you on

5. She's not interested in you sexually

6. She's interested in you as a friend

All because your dumbass didn't get physical fast enough. Shoot first, ask questions later. Your princess is in another castle, all because of your lack of balls to go for the lay quickly. Not to mention that she has complete power over you, since you gave it to her. That's my ruling.

Case closed. I'm about to get some cereal.

 

[pyros]

I do not see the problem here. I dont know how old are you but as far as I read your post, you two just met three or four times. So this girl does not want to put out? so what?
she may be searching for a LTR in which she's trying to make sure you do not want to be with her just for the sex.

I mean, if you keep going out with her, having a good time, scalating, and in some more dates she does not want to have sex, then you dump her, but come on...she just may not be a slut that has sex with everyguy she meets twice.