BetterCallSaul
Master Don Juan
I felt compelled to write up this post for everyone here. I believe guys around my own age can verify they've heard these things before and likely many of our younger members can too. This thread is mainly targeted at the younger guys who are considering getting into an LTR or even considering marriage one day. Despite a lot of risk these days getting married I still believe it can work. It isn't easy and frankly not every woman (or man) is cut out for it.
I attended a training session at work the other week. I was looking forward to it actually since it focused on certain ethics in the workplace and how leaders in various capacities at the work place should set an example if possible and always try to keep things on the up-and-up. I didn't expect to learn anything monumentally life changing but it helps demonstrate to your management that you're trying to take this stuff seriously.
Anyway on to the point of my thread. Once I got there and over 90% of the class was women, I knew I was in for it and I was right. Thankfully there was one other guy there that I knew so that made it tolerable. There were 3 others guys there also, one I knew somewhat but the other 2 guys I didn't know. Well the class turned practically into a 4 hour session of Oprah, essentially supporting all these women with the "can do" attitude and other usual woman's BS. One of the guys that I didn't know I did notice this guy had this perpetual scowl thing going on. Just like that frown was permanently etched on his face. You've likely come across someone in your life a few times if you think about it. Well, turns out that scowl was there for a reason. When it came time to tell a little about ourselves, turns out this guy grew up with like 3 sisters and was now married and how 2-3 daughters or something. This guy had the look of his soul being crushed...gee I bet I can guess why. Just looking at the dude you could tell putting him out of his misery like a horse with a broken leg would be a mercy to him.
But stop for a minute. Why is this like this? Hell this dude is going to work until he's 65 or 70 supporting his wife and daughters and then when the daughters are married off he'll need money to support his grandkids all cause the women demand it. And he continues doing it. Who is really to blame? Of course women will do whatever they can get away with....it's this guy's own fault for letting them walk all over him. What really caught me however was when he muttered with happy glee in talking about marriage, "Happy wife, happy life", and of course all the women in the room smiled and chuckled in knowing and understanding exactly what he meant.
"Happy wife, happy life." Right? What else?
"Yes Dear" ....how many times have you heard that those 2 words are the key to a happy marriage?
I've heard those a bunch, and plenty of times from "men" I've known throughout my life. They almost happily spout those off.
By the time the class was over one of the other dudes I didn't know was happy to try and fit in with the women by offering up his own story of how he was going to take his mom out for dinner for all she'd done for him in his life, and yada yada yada...women coo over how wonderful a guy he is, etc. This dude just went below beta in my opinion.
It wasn't until I was chatting with an old friend I hadn't seen in a little over a year and we were catching up the other day I decided to write up this post and he too sort of commented on the "yes dear" bull$hit.
Jesus christ are men so damned brainwashed with this $hit that we happily spout it to one another? I've never, NEVER in my life uttered those words in describing any relationship I was in nor my marriage. These idiots who even jokingly utter this crap do a disservice to themselves and moreso to men everywhere because they continue to perpetuate this crap that women getting whatever it is they want is the key to a happy relationship. It isn't.
I have boldly corrected men who ask me about my own and tell them "No, it isn't like that at all."
My wife knows her place in our marriage and respects me for who I am as a man and the head of our family. I love and respect my wife, I provide for her and understand the trust she's placed in me by taking this leadership role and I won't abuse it. But there's no way in hell our marriage operates on the "happy wife happy life" principle. My wife doesn't $hit test me much anymore but it still happens on occasion and I bat them away with ease. Sometimes I'll call her out on it hard and put her in her place.
My wife brings in a respectable amount of income for our family, cooks well, takes charge of kids most times and handles the role of mother very nicely. She has, with some reluctance and effort, finally come around to exercising on a regular basis. It wasn't easy, it took a long time, but she's doing it and just the other day was proud to show to me how firm her ass is now and that she's focusing on her stomach more. But she isn't the type of woman who has to have a girl's night out, or a weekend with the girls, or some other party excuse BS that's popular these days. She also leaves major decisions involving our family to me and recognizes once my decision is made it's final and she respects my decision and carries it out (when it affects our kids) efficiently.
The important part of this is when I make a decision she doesn't always get her way. I would say on average she may get her way 70% of the time. Some of the most recent examples being wanting to spend time with another married couple we know. They're nice enough but frankly I can't stand their kids' behaviour and some of the decisions they have made for their life makes no sense to me and I like to guard against this because I don't want those ideas or ways of thinking seeping into my wife's mind.
To summarize, I don't think any of this would be possible by living by the "happy wife happy life" principle. She still sometimes throws pi$$y fits when she doesn't get her way but she gets over it. Other men who do endear this principle would likely give in or even apologize. To the young guys here, start batting this $hit down every time you hear it, even from other guys. This sort of stuff has to stop somewhere.
I attended a training session at work the other week. I was looking forward to it actually since it focused on certain ethics in the workplace and how leaders in various capacities at the work place should set an example if possible and always try to keep things on the up-and-up. I didn't expect to learn anything monumentally life changing but it helps demonstrate to your management that you're trying to take this stuff seriously.
Anyway on to the point of my thread. Once I got there and over 90% of the class was women, I knew I was in for it and I was right. Thankfully there was one other guy there that I knew so that made it tolerable. There were 3 others guys there also, one I knew somewhat but the other 2 guys I didn't know. Well the class turned practically into a 4 hour session of Oprah, essentially supporting all these women with the "can do" attitude and other usual woman's BS. One of the guys that I didn't know I did notice this guy had this perpetual scowl thing going on. Just like that frown was permanently etched on his face. You've likely come across someone in your life a few times if you think about it. Well, turns out that scowl was there for a reason. When it came time to tell a little about ourselves, turns out this guy grew up with like 3 sisters and was now married and how 2-3 daughters or something. This guy had the look of his soul being crushed...gee I bet I can guess why. Just looking at the dude you could tell putting him out of his misery like a horse with a broken leg would be a mercy to him.
But stop for a minute. Why is this like this? Hell this dude is going to work until he's 65 or 70 supporting his wife and daughters and then when the daughters are married off he'll need money to support his grandkids all cause the women demand it. And he continues doing it. Who is really to blame? Of course women will do whatever they can get away with....it's this guy's own fault for letting them walk all over him. What really caught me however was when he muttered with happy glee in talking about marriage, "Happy wife, happy life", and of course all the women in the room smiled and chuckled in knowing and understanding exactly what he meant.
"Happy wife, happy life." Right? What else?
"Yes Dear" ....how many times have you heard that those 2 words are the key to a happy marriage?
I've heard those a bunch, and plenty of times from "men" I've known throughout my life. They almost happily spout those off.
By the time the class was over one of the other dudes I didn't know was happy to try and fit in with the women by offering up his own story of how he was going to take his mom out for dinner for all she'd done for him in his life, and yada yada yada...women coo over how wonderful a guy he is, etc. This dude just went below beta in my opinion.
It wasn't until I was chatting with an old friend I hadn't seen in a little over a year and we were catching up the other day I decided to write up this post and he too sort of commented on the "yes dear" bull$hit.
Jesus christ are men so damned brainwashed with this $hit that we happily spout it to one another? I've never, NEVER in my life uttered those words in describing any relationship I was in nor my marriage. These idiots who even jokingly utter this crap do a disservice to themselves and moreso to men everywhere because they continue to perpetuate this crap that women getting whatever it is they want is the key to a happy relationship. It isn't.
I have boldly corrected men who ask me about my own and tell them "No, it isn't like that at all."
My wife knows her place in our marriage and respects me for who I am as a man and the head of our family. I love and respect my wife, I provide for her and understand the trust she's placed in me by taking this leadership role and I won't abuse it. But there's no way in hell our marriage operates on the "happy wife happy life" principle. My wife doesn't $hit test me much anymore but it still happens on occasion and I bat them away with ease. Sometimes I'll call her out on it hard and put her in her place.
My wife brings in a respectable amount of income for our family, cooks well, takes charge of kids most times and handles the role of mother very nicely. She has, with some reluctance and effort, finally come around to exercising on a regular basis. It wasn't easy, it took a long time, but she's doing it and just the other day was proud to show to me how firm her ass is now and that she's focusing on her stomach more. But she isn't the type of woman who has to have a girl's night out, or a weekend with the girls, or some other party excuse BS that's popular these days. She also leaves major decisions involving our family to me and recognizes once my decision is made it's final and she respects my decision and carries it out (when it affects our kids) efficiently.
The important part of this is when I make a decision she doesn't always get her way. I would say on average she may get her way 70% of the time. Some of the most recent examples being wanting to spend time with another married couple we know. They're nice enough but frankly I can't stand their kids' behaviour and some of the decisions they have made for their life makes no sense to me and I like to guard against this because I don't want those ideas or ways of thinking seeping into my wife's mind.
To summarize, I don't think any of this would be possible by living by the "happy wife happy life" principle. She still sometimes throws pi$$y fits when she doesn't get her way but she gets over it. Other men who do endear this principle would likely give in or even apologize. To the young guys here, start batting this $hit down every time you hear it, even from other guys. This sort of stuff has to stop somewhere.
