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Happiness

European-DJ

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Am curious to learn how many of you in your late 20s / 30s can truly say that you are happy? I have been dealing with this state where my happiness plateaus at being “OK” and can only really go down from there.


Rarely do I ever experience the extreme highs that I did 5-7 years back. I don’t know what is driving it, but am keen to hear whether it is only me or if more People are experiencing a lack of excitement about life / experiences, and IF NOT, what gets your excited / brings out that deep feeling of happiness within you that we all experienced earlier in life.
 

Chuck Taylor

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Am curious to learn how many of you in our late 20s / 30s can truly say that you are happy? I have been dealing with this state where my happiness plateaus at being “OK” and can only really go down from there.


Rarely do I ever experience the extreme highs that I did 5-7 years back. I don’t know what is driving it, but am keen to hear whether it is only me or if more People are experiencing a lack of excitement about life / experiences, and IF NOT, what gets your excited / brings out that deep feeling of happiness within you?
i'm very happy with my life and where i'm at. I just do pretty basic stuff - eat as clean as i can, I don't have conversations about social issues or politics with anyone, and the only social page I have is for my career use.
 

European-DJ

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i'm very happy with my life and where i'm at. I just do pretty basic stuff - eat as clean as i can, I don't have conversations about social issues or politics with anyone, and the only social page I have is for my career use.
Thanks Chuck. Interesting to hear your perspective on being happy with the basics. Am wondering whether part of my unhappiness comes from always wanting/striving for MORE, without really knowing what that MORE is, so I end up chasing an illusion and missing everything that happens around me
 

Cejay

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I've been thinking a lot about this lately.

I strive for contentment, not happiness. I too raily experience the highs you're talking about. I think that may just be part of growing older, IDK.

Ultimately though, I find that if I don't have something that I'm working towards, or looking forward to and I'm not happy.

This comes from some changes and observations in myself. Over the past few years I've managed to double my income and through some smart investing came into a bunch of $. (Real estate investment is my side hustle) From there I bought a bunch of things that I've "always wanted" and as a result, I stopped working towards/struggling towards things. I also find my job (while very lucrative) SUPER easy and boring.

These have resulted in me feeling unhappy more often than not. So, to raise my happiness/contentment I am setting new, more aggressive goals.
Examples: I've been thinking about going back to school for a law degree, or mastering a new skill (cyber security or something of that nature), or really amping up my property development/investing biz.
Something of that nature to work towards.

CJ.
 

Chuck Taylor

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Thanks Chuck. Interesting to hear your perspective on being happy with the basics. Am wondering whether part of my unhappiness comes from always wanting/striving for MORE, without really knowing what that MORE is, so I end up chasing an illusion and missing everything that happens around me
Anytime. Chasing after things isn't really a good thing, in the long run. Find a few things you're passionate about. You know, really passionate about. Buy a few fiction books, and let go of all your worries for a bit. Not self-help books or anything like that.

Anything from James Joyce is a good read.
 

nicksaiz65

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What even is happiness? How do you achieve it? Serious question.

I’m thinking that it’s writing down a list of goals that you desire, and then achieving them. Then, just maintaining what you’ve achieved from there.
 

Dr.Suave

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One cant be happy all the time. We will have highs and lows, we have to accept that.

Sometimes stuff that normally makes us happy doesnt works as well: Might be a dumb example but yesterday I didnt have to work, spent time with family and won an episode of Fall Guys, this stuff normally makes me very happy but yesterday it wasnt as "high" as it normally is; I try not to think too much about it.

I think we need to identify stuff that makes us happy but accept that it wont work as well everytime. Maybe travel/vacations. Maybe trying new things. Helping homeless dogs always feels great.
 

Smok1nAce

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I think the only way to be happy today is accepting the world as it is.

The best way a man should move is to accept he will not be able to afford most things, be in debt for a significant amount of his early adulthood, job opputinties will be scarce and underpaid and women will be b1tchy, flaky with unreasonable demands. Keep you head down and grind for 20 years and then maybe it will be your turn.

Accepting this is the only way you can truly be happy, stay healthy, stay out of trouble and stack you money. Focusing on these things and things you can control will keep you sane.
 

Kotaix

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Thanks Chuck. Interesting to hear your perspective on being happy with the basics. Am wondering whether part of my unhappiness comes from always wanting/striving for MORE, without really knowing what that MORE is, so I end up chasing an illusion and missing everything that happens around me
This is exactly the problem. Getting MORE or something shiny and new will never make you happy. You'll always tire of what you have and want more, something different or a hotter woman. This applies to everything in life, and they don't call it the Rat Race for nothing.

Most people are working miserable jobs and saving up for some future state where they will be happy. Only to get there and realize that they aren't happy.

Learning to be happy with what you have is key. And this doesn't mean you shouldn't strive towards goals, but the outcome and/or recognition shouldn't be the motivation.

What even is happiness? How do you achieve it? Serious question.

I’m thinking that it’s writing down a list of goals that you desire, and then achieving them. Then, just maintaining what you’ve achieved from there.
Happiness is the absence of suffering, and you can never 'achieve' it as a permanent state because nothing is permanent. Suffering is clinging to happiness when you've lost it.
 

Çharismo

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@European-DJ

Don take this as the absolute truth but these are just my thoughts and realisations after reading, writing, observing and contemplating on this topic of happiness. Again I don’t claim to have all the answers but hopefully this can provide you with some insight and add another layer of perspective to your thinking and enhance your viewpoints.

I have come to realise that fundamentally at our core most people want to be happy whether it’s at their jobs, with their families, friends and just their overall position in life. The problem is the way society is designed and structured is for you to always think and feel that you are lacking something in order to get to that place of happiness. It’s human nature to always want more of something. If you got a house you will want a bigger house. If you make a certain amount of money you want to make even more. You have sex with 20 women in a year the next year you try to have sex with 40 women and the cycle continues until your chasing these types of things and experiences to fill a void or some deep childhood wounds that you never dealt with or maybe you just have something to prove again it all depends on the individual and how they are wired.

If you look at the entirety of society we as people don’t need that much to live but when you are constantly being bombarded with TV shows and commercials about why you need to buy this new car, have some new furniture, go on a cruise to an exotic land, Black Friday sale, Labor Day sale, sale on clothes and shoes, get some plastic surgery, implants, bbl’s (Brazilian butt lifts for those that don’t know) and the multitude of commercials and advertisements designed to make you feel incomplete…you are bound to feel unhappy with your life or think something is missing.

With the advent of social media and the internet people are getting lazier, have short attention spans, always glued to their phones, constantly distracted and look for instant-gratification rather than have to discipline themselves for delayed-gratification. Everyone wants to be famous, go viral, make billions, be a boss, and basically be “successful” without doing nothing. When you have delusions of grandeur
of becoming an anomaly without putting in the work, sacrificing, and most of all paying the price you are bound to be unhappy and miserable. Now I’m not saying that a person shouldn’t strive for more but the most important things like your health, peace of mind, cultivating relationships with friends, and family members, shelter, good food, transportation, companionship and the basic necessities should be taken care of before you decide to go for loftier goals and even then you should have the self-awareness to know why you need to accomplish such goals. It’s good to challenge and push yourself but then what’s next?

Now I’m also not saying that you need to go on top of a mountain, meditate 20 hours a day, live like a recluse and give up worldly ambitions but a person needs to have some balance. Everything in moderation. Anything in excess is bound to make a person unhappy because than you get to the point of diminishing returns. At the same time extreme results require extreme effort so you have to pick your poison. Anything worth achieving even happiness takes time. So what is a person to do you ask? …very simple…take the time to appreciate and be grateful for everything and everyone you have in your life. Hopefully this gives you some food for thought.
 
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