Happiness habits

[Reykhel]

Try these and see if they don't make a difference to your mindset...

1) upon waking write down 3 things which you are gratefull for. they must be three different things

2) before sleeping write for 2 minute about a positive experience that you had during the
previous 24 hours...
your day sucked? find something.....be as descriptive as possible. feel the sensations again.

3) do a random act of kindness. maybe it's just to praise someone, or thank someone
why? takes you out of your own head and puts you in a giver mentality. Alphas are givers in that
they have enough positive charge that they can touch others in a positive way

4) meditate. you can't appreciate this unless you do it. the benifits will come ...off the mat....as they say....fvckinin nothing fancy....take 10 minutes out of your life and count your breaths

5) exercise.....this does not need to be elaborated....

 

[JohnChops]

i like it.

 

[Poon King]

The only ones I agree with are #4 and #5. The others are just gimmicks from daytime TV.

 

[switch7]

I'm finding the whole meditation hard to follow... I see lots of different videos, some say concentrate on breathing, some say visualize a place of calm... I had an iPhone app but as the lessons progressed they wanted to start charging me for it.. Anyone got any good meditation tips/tutorials? because I want to get this nailed down..

 

[Reykhel]

The only ones I agree with are #4 and #5. The others are just gimmicks from daytime TV.

From daytime tv? You're WRONG. (couldn't resist ) anyway, I don't watch daytime tv so...

Thery're from NLP and I suppose various religous/spiritual thoughts....

I'll explain:

1) The 3 things to be gratefull for...
This is simply to put yourself in an abundance mindset and to be aware of the things you have in your life (bear in mind they are "happyness habits", to cultivate happyness. Probably all religions and spiritual schools of thought speak of being grateful for what you have.....how many people do you know that are not happy? how many people do you know that complain about their life? It's simply really to put things in perspective. So many people get stressed with their so called "problems" and take for granted with they actually have in life. Being gratefull and aware of what you have in life puts your "problems" in a different light...

2) Write about a positive experience..
This is an NLP trick. By searching for something positive that happened to you, and describing it you are almost reliving the positive experience. You are feeling the emotions again. Bear in mind again they're happyness habits to cultivate happyness. This helps to cultivate a positive perspective. It's training your mind to see the positive and often the oportunity in every situation.

3) A random act of kindness
Buddhist thinking.....it's practicing loving compassion.
I gets you out of your own head.....a huge problem for people who are unhappy and
it also has the knock on effect of activating the law of reciprocation. You actually get a lot back from people in return. I've seen and experienced this in action..

There are so many people who are not content with their lot and constantly complaing. An effort at cultivating happyness and a positve mindset is required

 

[Reykhel]

I'm finding the whole meditation hard to follow... I see lots of different videos, some say concentrate on breathing, some say visualize a place of calm... I had an iPhone app but as the lessons progressed they wanted to start charging me for it.. Anyone got any good meditation tips/tutorials? because I want to get this nailed down..

was it the Headspace app? The full set can be downloaded from pirate sites.....apparently.

stick with the breathing one...
start with a "body scan": where you put your concentration from your head, to the backs of your eyes, to your chest, shoulders, arms......you get the idea......basically your searching for tension....and letting it go...

then:
1. breath, count the inbreaths
2. breath, count the outbreaths
3. breath, no counting

Focus on the breath

distractions to meditation:
1. sensory desire : thinking of food, drink, sex..
2. Ill will : thinking of harming someone or yourself. Anger basically
3. Sloth and topur : your thinking of sleeping, losing concentration
4. Doubt: you start questiong what you're doing....

how to deal with distractions:
your mind will wander, when you notice it's wandered....say to yourself "ah I was having a sensory desire. (name the distraction) that's ok (you're not getting annoyed with yourself...crucial) and then bring yourself back to the meditation...

dealing with distraction is one of the objectives of meditation. you'll find yourself doing it "off the mat" and bringing your focus back to the present more and more....

 

[switch7]

was it the Headspace app? The full set can be downloaded from pirate sites.....apparently.

stick with the breathing one...
start with a "body scan": where you put your concentration from your head, to the backs of your eyes, to your chest, shoulders, arms......you get the idea......basically your searching for tension....and letting it go...

then:
1. breath, count the inbreaths
2. breath, count the outbreaths
3. breath, no counting

Focus on the breath

distractions to meditation:
1. sensory desire : thinking of food, drink, sex..
2. Ill will : thinking of harming someone or yourself. Anger basically
3. Sloth and topur : your thinking of sleeping, losing concentration
4. Doubt: you start questiong what you're doing....

how to deal with distractions:
your mind will wander, when you notice it's wandered....say to yourself "ah I was having a sensory desire. (name the distraction) that's ok (you're not getting annoyed with yourself...crucial) and then bring yourself back to the meditation...

dealing with distraction is one of the objectives of meditation. you'll find yourself doing it "off the mat" and bringing your focus back to the present more and more....

Thanks Reykhel. I enjoy your posts.

 

[ubercat]

Great Post. Don't forget transcendental meditation if you re a Noobie. Just find a two syllable word hell it can be "happy" if you want. Repeat it silently to yourself for 10 minutes. Random Thoughts will come and go. Don't try and suppress them just keep repeating your word.

Richard Weiss has one of the more interesting self Improvement books out there. It's called 59 seconds and only has strategies that have been scientifically studied. Now that doesn't mean that it is the truth of God. Science is complicated and social Science is a particularly difficult field because there are so many variables.

1-3 are in his book and are Staples of the positive psychology movement. In other words unbelievably I think Poon King has got it wrong. Happy to debate but lets keep the debate focused on evidence.

 

[Poon King]

From daytime tv? You're WRONG. (couldn't resist ) anyway, I don't watch daytime tv so...

Thery're from NLP and I suppose various religous/spiritual thoughts....

I'll explain:

1) The 3 things to be gratefull for...
This is simply to put yourself in an abundance mindset and to be aware of the things you have in your life (bear in mind they are "happyness habits", to cultivate happyness. Probably all religions and spiritual schools of thought speak of being grateful for what you have.....how many people do you know that are not happy? how many people do you know that complain about their life? It's simply really to put things in perspective. So many people get stressed with their so called "problems" and take for granted with they actually have in life. Being gratefull and aware of what you have in life puts your "problems" in a different light...

2) Write about a positive experience..
This is an NLP trick. By searching for something positive that happened to you, and describing it you are almost reliving the positive experience. You are feeling the emotions again. Bear in mind again they're happyness habits to cultivate happyness. This helps to cultivate a positive perspective. It's training your mind to see the positive and often the oportunity in every situation.

3) A random act of kindness
Buddhist thinking.....it's practicing loving compassion.
I gets you out of your own head.....a huge problem for people who are unhappy and
it also has the knock on effect of activating the law of reciprocation. You actually get a lot back from people in return. I've seen and experienced this in action..

There are so many people who are not content with their lot and constantly complaing. An effort at cultivating happyness and a positve mindset is required

No harm in doing any of this stuff.

I just don't agree they will lead to "happiness". I honestly believe happiness is very much an individual thing. What makes some happy will not make others happy. Meditation and exercise is more universal and based more on human biology. We know exercise releases endorphins that control mood for instance. The other self-help crap is just that. It was made up to sell books and give Oprah something to say on her show. It doesn't work.

 

[Reykhel]

Great Post. Don't forget transcendental meditation if you re a Noobie. Just find a two syllable word hell it can be "happy" if you want. Repeat it silently to yourself for 10 minutes. Random Thoughts will come and go. Don't try and suppress them just keep repeating your word.

Richard Weiss has one of the more interesting self Improvement books out there. It's called 59 seconds and only has strategies that have been scientifically studied. Now that doesn't mean that it is the truth of God. Science is complicated and social Science is a particularly difficult field because there are so many variables.

1-3 are in his book and are Staples of the positive psychology movement. In other words unbelievably I think Poon King has got it wrong. Happy to debate but lets keep the debate focused on evidence.

Exactly they are used in the positive psychology movement. Scientific research performed by social scientests have found proven techniques which if used on a consistent basis enhances one's level of happiness and sense of well being.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/positive-psychology
https://www.ted.com/talks/martin_seligman_on_the_state_of_psychology

The aim is to cultivate a positive perspective....which naturally increases your level of happiness

 

[ubercat]

Thanks Reykhel

I keep a library of the best posts in case this forum ever melts-down. Given that I normally post what I know on the most useful threads and of course they were good to begin with - its an easy way to keep my own notes. You made the library

Its posts like this that lift SoSuave above the usual red pill/PUA swamp.