Handling my recent ex who cheated.

[omgwtfm8]

I broke up with my ex after she cheated on my 4 times. I should called it off at the 1st time, but i didn't know about the next times until months after.

She put me through a lot of hurt and emotional pain. I would try and break up with her, she'd cry and beg for me, I'll blow her off and say no. Then she'd blow my phone up everyday and then I'd get lonely and go over and make up.

Finally she told me right after she cheated the 4th time, I broke up with her, I called her all the dirty words, told her she's never going to change, have fun w/ your dirty repuatation, etc. She begged for me, how she needed me so bad, etc. I denied her and never talked to her for a whole month. She'd call me and I'd answer and blow her off. Or i'd just ignore.

Then we ran into each other in public, this is the first time meeting after a month, and i started to get this crazy emotional feeling of like WTF. I didn't know how to handle the situation. So i just blew her off and didn't talk to her when i walked by her. Then we were ignoring each other for a good hour. Then I just went up to her and pulled her aside and asked to talk real quick.Me and her started to talk, she'd tell me how she misses me, etc. Then she started getting emotional and it started to fvck w/ my emotions. And we ended up just hugging for a little, then changed subjects and tried to continue a normal conversation.

I don't think i'm doing the right thing, how do i handle her when i see her out in public? She wants to hang out, catch up, etc. and i told her idk.

 

[PRMoon]

If you really want to hang out with here again, and I can't imagine why you would but I suppose I understand the situation, you have to get your emotions together an LJBF her. Once you mature your emotional control, the second part should be easy. Obviously she's not going to change so keeping that in mind should be the key to your success. Everytime you feel tender towards her and what not, think about how bad it hurt when you found out she cheated on you again and again...and again. I mean really focus on it, don't concider the past, you have to relive the experience in your mind and then understand that not only might this happen again, but in all likely hoold will. with that bit of knowledge you should be able to at least get past any emotional intamacy feelings and get down to your core emotions which allows you to just be her friend and lets you two live seperate lives. It'll make it easier for you to see her in public and spend whatever buddy time you two might have together without the thoughts of getting back with her at anytime. You might become good friend but usually the relationship dissolves from there.

That's my thought on the situation anyway. Good luck.

 

[frivolousz21]

dont be stupid

move on now...or you will pay for it again....FOUR TIMES?

come on mad...ur embarassing urself

 

[KillaCam]

Come on dude, show a little self-respect. You're better than this woman. Actually, she ain't a woman, she sounds about as emotionally developed as a 12 year old girl.

Don't even give her the time of day. Don't take this in a negative way, but you need to drop that emotional crap. Live a happy life, scout out some decent females, and leave this woman where she should be..in the past. Hell, even find her a dumpster if you want.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...I don't think i'm doing the right thing, how do i handle her when i see her out in public? She wants to hang out, catch up, etc. and i told her idk.

Why do you allow an ex to have such an influence over your life? What are you getting out of this? Why do you feel that you owe her your time and effort? What will you get out of all of this?

 

[omgwtfm8]

We're still a recent break up, I'm over her when i don't come in contact with her, but when i see her in public, i feel fvcking weak in the knees. She does too. When we talked for the first time in one month one on one, we started getting emotional. It was fvcking with my emotions. Then i feel like i miss her and want to be with her.

 

[blueguy]

But that's normal when you lose something... anything... in your life that occupied a large percentage of your time. You think back on it and wish you had it again. But for your best, you have to move to somebody else because there will be much more pain if you stick with a girl who keeps cheating on you.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

She cheats, lies, manipulates then whines for your attention to reel you back in. Sounds like a female player or like I like to call them, an emotionally fuvked girl. Girls like these have much deeper problems than cheating and lying, they are so confused mentally and have no sense between right and wrong.

Best bet is to stay away from her for a looooooooooooooooong time, otherwise you'll always fall for her bullshyt and be the chump bf.




PIMP

 

[omgwtfm8]

She cheats, lies, manipulates then whines for your attention to reel you back in. Sounds like a female player or like I like to call them, an emotionally fuvked girl. Girls like these have much deeper problems than cheating and lying, they are so confused mentally and have no sense between right and wrong.

Best bet is to stay away from her for a looooooooooooooooong time, otherwise you'll always fall for her bullshyt and be the chump bf.

PIMP

I'm a changed person now after this relationship. I'm no longer a chump. I believe she changed too since i've been blowing her off for the past month. She's been very emotional and upset for the past month as well

Do you think i can go back to her and give it another go? This has been our longest break.

Has anybody broken up with an ex, had no contact for a month, and gotten back together, and had it work out for the long run?

 

[blueguy]

She's been very emotional and upset for the past month as well

Do you think i can go back to her and give it another go? This has been our longest break.

She'll forget it all if you let her come back that easy. If you're older and want a serious ltr, she isn't ltr material.

 

[Bat]

Move on immediately, just do it.

 

[omgwtfm8]

I'm trying big time, i'm on 2.5 months without sex. I've been on dates, met chicks, one chick dissapointed me by running back to her ex, which is majorily influencing me to talk to my ex now. When i ran into her the other day i felt like i wanted to spend time with her.

Do you think I could handle giving it one try and as soon as something I don't like goes wrong, then i'll cut it off again?

 

[blueguy]

She's absorbing your life. The more energy you invest in her at this point, the less you will invest into your own prospective future. And this cause and effect scenario works visa versa. Because you lose your future, you lose more options and become more desperate for her. She is a blackhole.

Ditch her.
Improve yourself.
Attract other chicks.

Girls are supposed to improve your life, not make it hell.

You are investing in horse sh*t. Sending flowers. Do you think she wants a boy who invests in sh*t?

That is why the reject-reject-reject scenario works. Because if she does finally attempt to get back with you, she will see that you're a Man again who only makes wise investments and does not invest into falling stocks. Girls want to cling to that Man. If she sees that, she will make it clear as day that she wants you again and will make it easy. Because she understands this. But it probably won't happen with her.

 

[Road Demon]

When you see her in public, smile and act indifferent to her. Be a mystery and don't say to much about what you have been up to since the breakup. Make small happy talk, NOT relationship talk. Don't lecture her. Make an early exit from the conversation, acting like you have to meet someone or have something else to do but say to her "call me sometime."


There has to be a reason why she cheated on you, their must have been some need or needs that were not being met for her in the relationship. Her cheating I believe is just a symptom of the problem between you two. If you can identify the problem and then you can fix it. Have her crawl back. But she might just not be worth it after you get past her intial rejection (when she cheated on you). Only you can deceide if she is worth it.

If you need sex, then tag it. Use her as FB. But it sounds like you still have feelings for her though. I would seduce her, and bang her in the back door. Then drop her. Let her chase you. If she is interested she has to come crawling back.

Remember you still have the power. Keeping meeting other chicks.

 

[penkitten]

cheaters suck@

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I'm a changed person now after this relationship. I'm no longer a chump. I believe she changed too since i've been blowing her off for the past month. She's been very emotional and upset for the past month as well

Do you think i can go back to her and give it another go? This has been our longest break.

Has anybody broken up with an ex, had no contact for a month, and gotten back together, and had it work out for the long run?

No offense bro but your still a chump for even talking to this chick!!! Guys who have plenty of options when it comes to girls don't tolerate ****ty behavior from any girl no matter what! I was going to mention this in my first post but your girl sounds like she might be suffering from a personality disorder. She shows A LOT of the classic signs, such as:

-fear of abandonment
-cheating/lying/manipulating
-overly emotional


Sounds like she might have a lack of a father figure in her life. As a result she searches for validation from males figures no matter who they are. When she cries and tells you she misses you, she's playing on your emotions because she knows you are wrapped up in her issues. Think of a 5 year old kid who gets caught using markers on the wall. His mom yells (catching her cheating) and what does the kid do? Starts crying and whining until his mom finally can't stand to see her child cry anymore. She eventually forgives him and a few weeks later, guess what happens? He does it again. In the same way, you were screwed from the start in this relationship when you took her back for cheating. Do you really think she felt bad about it? Of course she didn't!! The only reason she apologized blah blah blah is because SHE GOT CAUGHT!! Then what did she do? She cheated on you again and again and again!! You validated her ****ty behavior by taking her back. Your underlying message was: "I know you cheated on me, but I'm such a chump and I care about you so much that I forgive you." To her the translation is "I can do whatever I want, get fuvked by 2 guys at the sametime, apologize, give it a few days and he'll still take me back." She has zero respect for you and for herself. To her guys are objects, essential for her sense of self and nothing more. That's why she can cheat without a guilty concious and keep going back for more.

Dude listen to what your asking us!!! She cheated 4 FUKIN TIMES!! And I'd be willing to put my ballz on the butcher ball to be cut off if she hasn't cheated on you mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnny more times that you just don't know about. I know it suxs when you think you find a cool chick, but you seem like your young and don't have much experience with long term relationships. You need to get better at judging a person's character so you don't get yourself in this type of situation again. Don't try to be Captian Save a Mental Head Case or you'll end up losing your mind in the process.


To answer your question: HELL NO!!! You shouldn't take her back because you'll never be able to trust her EVER, because she's cheated so much. Think of it this way. Your basically asking me if its ok for you to stick your head in a cage of a hunger male lion. Even though you've done it before and he's bit EVERY TIME, your wondering if he might just sit there like a good cat and not bit you this time. Do you know why he's going to bite you? Because your threating his territory, its his INSTINCTUAL habit to protect his territory. Now how the hell does this relate to your ex? Well she's mentally unstable, and because of this she has built in characteristics that she can't change until she realizes that their self destructive. That takes a long time and I'll be the first to tell you that its not going to happen any time soon.



Do yourself a favor and google Histrionic Personality Disorder and you'll see the light.




PIMP

 

[jigga23]

dude im speaking from personal experinece i was involved wtiht the same exact type of girl for almost 2 years. you can take me advice (smart thing to do) or you can leave it (dumb thing to do).i was the same position as you. my ex cheated on me she never admitted it but i knew. we broke up i moved out. but i still answered the phone when she called cause she needed me. i was there we fvcked and talked. then she stop and found some chump that both of her best friends fvcked (different story) but the thing you need to do is stop talking to her. ignore her. cause shes using you to fill in until someone else comes along. you want her back after she disrespected you? i aint even going to tell you how to get her back but fvck ignore her totally and dont speak to her, your going to get used and abused by her then shes going to fvck you over. 100% gurantee
how old are you? 18-19. your young as fvck. im 24 and im in no rush. b1tches come and go theres 3 billion out there.

or you can go back to her let her use you as an emotional tampon while shes fvcking some other dude or sucking his d1ck then shell come back to you kiss you and act like nothing happened and you guys will never get back to normal nor trust each other.

the choice is yours.
how is a girl that lies and cheats going to work out? thats the dumbest question. youre letting a slvt get to you that has no respect for you or herself and has low self esteem. wtf you wanna be with someone like that. girls like her go after weak dudes. are you weak?

quit being a needy pvssy, grow some balls with hair and stop talking to her. who gives a fvck if your alone for a little bit. if you get self confidence in yourself someone better will come. only people with no respect for themselves and girls act like you after a relationship is over. you could read all this sh!t that people are telling you you probalby wont listen though. so go back to her and get fvcked over again and see how you feel. you ever gamble before? thats what your doing you know its bad but you like the feeling of getting kicked in the nutz.

 

[bingo_]

lol @ four times.

 

[KoalaKing]

Your post reminds me of the heartbroken lovelorn characters that, Elvis Presley and Bryan Adams, sing about, forget about her and find another girl.

 

[Fenderules]

i just broke up with my g/f yesterday for the same reasons,

i took her to a concert (paid for her ticket and everything), while the last band played she went downstairs and ****ed 2 of the band members from another band....


talk about bull****