Handling Disrespect

[AFCToDJSlowButSurely]

So I have a friend/party buddy who annoys the piss outta me about half the time im around him. Im usually the driver to go places and he constantly backseat/passenger seat drives which is a huge peeve of mine. Also does other things like constantly turning the radio volume up and down as he is the deafest one usually, not to mention finding something to complain about, whether it be the music selection or asking for food then *****ing about the end result. i usually either ignore the complaints or tell him to stfu and have made it clear the driving advice isnt wanted.

He also tries to grab my nipples at random, i slap his hand away and tell him to knock it off, he just giggles and thinks its a joke. i think he has bisexual tendencies tbh(he gets worse when drunk). im not the only one he tries to touch but he is the only one in our group with this touching problem.

Anyway, it came to a head 2 nights ago while playing BP, he and i were on opp teams, i was doing well and he says watch the elbows after i made a shot. i felt it wasnt even close, got pissed off and said id shoot every shot from the wall after that and ended up calling him a punk a bunch of times while staring down. friends and my partner kept telling me not to worry about it that its just him. yes i was pretty buzzed at the time and obviously the elbows was simply the breaking point of frustration. Usually i am the really relaxed guy and people come up to me and try to get my attention, girls openly hit on me each party, etc.

A diff guy the night b4 that i felt dissed me by knocking my hat down over my eyes for no reason. He was talking to this girl that liked me and i came up and joined convo just being social. I said whyd u do that bro, he said some bs reason, i said dont hate so he tries to play it off as a joke, im like w/e. the girl is like dont fight or w/e. Then 2 nights ago he was on other team at BP tryin to act hard and talk **** to me, i was pissed from the thing earlier so i wasnt about to put up with it. apparently this guy pisses everyone off eventually from what i hear.

Anyway, do you experienced partiers or very social people have some good suggestions on how to better handle situations/people like this? I know my inner self still needs work obviously. If a girl disrespects me i usually just say w/e and walk away. In any case, reactions like this are counterproductive so some better techniques for handling are much appreatiated. I have given consideration to cutting out this 1st guy from my life but the trouble with that is alot of the people i met thru him are cool and i like hanging with them. hence it would be very awkward, + he does have alot of positive qualities as well.

 

[CarlitosWay]

So I have a friend/party buddy who annoys the piss outta me about half the time im around him. Im usually the driver to go places and he constantly backseat/passenger seat drives which is a huge peeve of mine. Also does other things like constantly turning the radio volume up and down as he is the deafest one usually, not to mention finding something to complain about, whether it be the music selection or asking for food then *****ing about the end result. i usually either ignore the complaints or tell him to stfu and have made it clear the driving advice isnt wanted.

He also tries to grab my nipples at random, i slap his hand away and tell him to knock it off, he just giggles and thinks its a joke. i think he has bisexual tendencies tbh(he gets worse when drunk). im not the only one he tries to touch but he is the only one in our group with this touching problem.

Anyway, it came to a head 2 nights ago while playing BP, he and i were on opp teams, i was doing well and he says watch the elbows after i made a shot. i felt it wasnt even close, got pissed off and said id shoot every shot from the wall after that and ended up calling him a punk a bunch of times while staring down. friends and my partner kept telling me not to worry about it that its just him. yes i was pretty buzzed at the time and obviously the elbows was simply the breaking point of frustration. Usually i am the really relaxed guy and people come up to me and try to get my attention, girls openly hit on me each party, etc.

A diff guy the night b4 that i felt dissed me by knocking my hat down over my eyes for no reason. He was talking to this girl that liked me and i came up and joined convo just being social. I said whyd u do that bro, he said some bs reason, i said dont hate so he tries to play it off as a joke, im like w/e. the girl is like dont fight or w/e. Then 2 nights ago he was on other team at BP tryin to act hard and talk **** to me, i was pissed from the thing earlier so i wasnt about to put up with it. apparently this guy pisses everyone off eventually from what i hear.

Anyway, do you experienced partiers or very social people have some good suggestions on how to better handle situations/people like this? I know my inner self still needs work obviously. If a girl disrespects me i usually just say w/e and walk away. In any case, reactions like this are counterproductive so some better techniques for handling are much appreatiated. I have given consideration to cutting out this 1st guy from my life but the trouble with that is alot of the people i met thru him are cool and i like hanging with them. hence it would be very awkward, + he does have alot of positive qualities as well.

When alone with that other guy why not talk man to man and say "I really respect you as a person and I like you as a friend, yet sometimes you annoy me a bit too much and I'd rather talk to you man to man about it then just bottle it up ." etc etc

If that other guy pisses a good majority of people off, then the best thing is just to ignore him as much as possible. Seems to me those kind of people get fueled by ones they get reactions from, so best thing is just to ignore him, usually it pisses them the hell off.

 

[dat azz]

I have a friend who I think is bisexual too. He used to be very touchy feely and worse when he's drunk like your friend. At one point I felt he was trying to seduce me. I put my foot down after that and told him he's gay and I don't want any gay friends. I told him I feel uncomfortable being hit on by my friend and asked him WTF he is trying to achieve by acting so gay around a straight guy. That did the trick and he's very respectful towards me nowadays. I get **** all the time from new people I meet at parties. I'm pretty sure it's insecure guys who feel threatened by me and think they need to attack me in order to regain their ground. It's bat**** insane. The easiest way to handle these guys is to take them for what they are- a joke. Don't let them affect your mood and ruin your night. If some kid told me "WATCH THE ELBOW", I'd say "Easy there, sport." Overplay the situation and make them sound like they're angry and stupid.

 

[Ice882]

If you just say, "oh yeah for sure, bro" in a semi-mocking tone it usually makes them look like an asshat.

 

[sageproduct]

It sounds like he's not gay as in homosexual, but definitely gay in the annoying b!tch way. I know a lot of guys who'll occasionally do gay sh!t to get a laugh, and I know a couple who go overboard to the point where it's just fwcking annoying. Tell him to cut that sh!t out.

 

[2crudedudes]

I have a friend who I think is bisexual too. He used to be very touchy feely and worse when he's drunk like your friend. At one point I felt he was trying to seduce me. I put my foot down after that and told him he's gay and I don't want any gay friends. I told him I feel uncomfortable being hit on by my friend and asked him WTF he is trying to achieve by acting so gay around a straight guy.

Does this turn you on? Is that why it bothers you? Because it brings out the gay in you? Some dudes are just a little over friendly, no need to get all crazy on them or calling them "gay". Just tell em they're being annoying, no need to attack anyone's sexuality.

 

[GhostWriter]

I had a prick friend just like that. He was extremely immature, one time I was talking to a girl and I was also wearing a hat. Only to cover up a really bad haircut I was planning on fixing the next day.

He came in grabbed it off my head and threw it on the floor. I felt he really disrespected me yet at the same time I bet you that girl lost respect for me too.

I didn't know what to do, I really wanted to tell him that's not cool you need to chill out. On the other hand I felt it was best just to ignore it and act like that didn't happen.

If he can do things like this, trust me there are even worse. Imagine if he's mad at you, or you guys get into an argument. Watch how much he disrespects you the next time. I was this close to bashing his face in when he again disrespected me in front of my friends.

I felt being around him was unhealthy because I started to resent him and would fantasize about breaking his arm. The point was he got way too comfortable in our friendship, partly because we were both friends for a long time growing up.

Now anyone who disrespects me I cut out of my life. If they keep doing it that's a different story...

Luckily for me every time I cut off one of these disrespecting mofos they get the hint. Trust me the ladies won't respect you when they see your friend doing immature crap like that. Cut him loose!

 

[kingsam]

I had a prick friend just like that. He was extremely immature, one time I was talking to a girl and I was also wearing a hat. Only to cover up a really bad haircut I was planning on fixing the next day.

He came in grabbed it off my head and threw it on the floor. I felt he really disrespected me yet at the same time I bet you that girl lost respect for me too.

I didn't know what to do, I really wanted to tell him that's not cool you need to chill out. On the other hand I felt it was best just to ignore it and act like that didn't happen.

If he can do things like this, trust me there are even worse. Imagine if he's mad at you, or you guys get into an argument. Watch how much he disrespects you the next time. I was this close to bashing his face in when he again disrespected me in front of my friends.

I felt being around him was unhealthy because I started to resent him and would fantasize about breaking his arm. The point was he got way too comfortable in our friendship, partly because we were both friends for a long time growing up.

Now anyone who disrespects me I cut out of my life. If they keep doing it that's a different story...

Luckily for me every time I cut off one of these disrespecting mofos they get the hint. Trust me the ladies won't respect you when they see your friend doing immature crap like that. Cut him loose!

my argument would be that YOU let hin disrespect you, he got the reaction he was looking for,

it was only a hair cut, you could have probably laughed it off (angle of "i dont give a fu.ck") and maybe twisted it to your advantage...

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It sounds like he's not gay as in homosexual, but definitely gay in the annoying b!tch way. I know a lot of guys who'll occasionally do gay sh!t to get a laugh, and I know a couple who go overboard to the point where it's just fwcking annoying. Tell him to cut that sh!t out.

fake gay jokes are common

its the insecure people who cant take the gay jokes ... the AFC and the Macho guy...

 

[GhostWriter]

my argument would be that YOU let hin disrespect you, he got the reaction he was looking for,

it was only a hair cut, you could have probably laughed it off (angle of "i dont give a fu.ck") and maybe twisted it to your advantage...

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I forgot to mention I went with the latter and not the former. After a slight pause, I acted like it didn't happen and ignored it.

This was a about a year back, granted I'm still a work in process from getting rid of former AFC self.

Now I just don't deal with childish immature people anymore. It makes you look bad too when you're around them. You know what they say.. Birds of a feather flock together.

 

[kingsam]

I forgot to mention I went with the latter and not the former. After a slight pause, I acted like it didn't happen and ignored it.

This was a about a year back, granted I'm still a work in process from getting rid of former AFC self.

Now I just don't deal with childish immature people anymore. It makes you look bad too when you're around them. You know what they say.. Birds of a feather flock together.

cool cool
the road to redemption and mastery is a long one indeed

i realsied down the pub last night i still have to have a more dominant frame (tho its massivly massivly improved from where i once was)

 

[AFCToDJSlowButSurely]

hey fellas thanks for all the advice, good lookin out.

anyway ill speak to him about it next time it comes up, he was over yesterday and was chill. think hes gonna stop drinking now cause thats what the doctor told him he needs to do apparently, glad hes looking to make positive changes in his life.

handled myself pretty well last night overall id say. bought for some sketchy black guy while waiting for our ride when my friends inadvertedly looked at me when he asked if we were 21. guy was a damn ingrate though, whining about 3 dollars in change when im the one taking the risk so i shoved the change in his hand and walked off, what a tool. i told my friends to never hang me out to dry like that again, needless risk.

some random drunk guy at the party got in my face trying to start ****, i was ice cold calm maintaining my frame. was kinda funny in retrospect, he kept telling me to look him in the face while im staring him down and he wouldnt maintain eye contact. Just like a dog with all bark no bite lmao. He wanted me to fist pound but i wasnt about to give in to his weak frame, i just said be cool bro and offered a handshake. in response he calls me a fag and tries to talk **** about me to another group. weak sauce . he was about same height as me maybe a bit taller, definitely not in as good of shape though. he also tried to fight my smaller friend, i seperated em watching him close in case he tried to throw a punch.

had this spanish girl from my college grinding on me at the party, she was diggin me earlier in the night more so i prob shouldve escalated and closed at the party instead of when we came back home. walked in her place and got into her room np but she wouldnt kiss so i just dipped home. it happens. fun night overall tho.

gonna regulate my friends and pple that come over to party, my kitchen floor is still sticky from 2 nights ago and im not about to clean up everytime. along with pple sleeping here and eating my food, layin down the law on that. kick in on it or bring your own.

time to continue inner self work

 

[Pierce]

lmao i wish sum1m would pinch my nipples. id be like wtf u gay? do that **** again and ill pop you in the jaw