I was at a club the other night talking to this girl sitting at the bar. I asked her name and waited for her to ask mine (she did this by giving me a look). I said that she looked like she had a lot of tension or something like that and she said "yeah, I do" and she started rubbing her shoulder. So then I started rubbing her shoulder. I then asked her if she's ever had a hand massage and she said "No" So I told her that I would give her one if she bought me a drink. She then told me that I was aggressive and then said that in the future I shiuld just take the woman's hand and do it. Anyway, I started trying to justify my aggressiveness and that made me look amateurish as far as picking up women. She was nice in giving me advice even though I blew it with her. Anyway, this seems like a great way to meet a woman. Do any of you guys have suggestions as to what point during the initial conversation should I offer a hand massage?
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Hand massage
- Thread starter ted
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
honeyshark
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2003
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Response: *smiling* yeah, but then I wouldn't get a free drink.Originally posted by ted
I then asked her if she's ever had a hand massage and she said "No" So I told her that I would give her one if she bought me a drink. She then told me that I was aggressive and then said that in the future I shiuld just take the woman's hand and do it.
It doesn't make sense. She said you were aggressive yet you DIDNT just grab her hand and start doing it. Don't accept everything someone says without questioning it. (even from me)
Peace.
Yotsuya-san
Senior Don Juan
You messed up with the "...if you bought me a drink" part. She was stressed out and probably wasn't in the mood for the C&F "if you bought me a drink". The moment she said that she never had a hand massage, you just take her hand (not grab it, mind you) and do it.Originally posted by ted
I was at a club the other night talking to this girl sitting at the bar. I asked her name and waited for her to ask mine (she did this by giving me a look). I said that she looked like she had a lot of tension or something like that and she said "yeah, I do" and she started rubbing her shoulder. So then I started rubbing her shoulder. I then asked her if she's ever had a hand massage and she said "No" So I told her that I would give her one if she bought me a drink. She then told me that I was aggressive and then said that in the future I shiuld just take the woman's hand and do it. Anyway, I started trying to justify my aggressiveness and that made me look amateurish as far as picking up women. She was nice in giving me advice even though I blew it with her. Anyway, this seems like a great way to meet a woman. Do any of you guys have suggestions as to what point during the initial conversation should I offer a hand massage?
As far as when to offer a hand massage, it depends on the circumstance. The "she's stressed out" circumstance is the good one. Or when it just looks like something is bothering her (unless she says it's you). In this circumstance, Be prepared to do more listening than talking, then she'll be more warm and receptive to you rubbing her hand.
The girl had some damn good advice btw. Hopefully (granted she forgave you for "being so agressive") you did massage her hand.
Walden
Master Don Juan
Nice move.
Actually, she left after a couple of minutes of me reverting back into an AFC. Anyway, a little later a cutie that I only talked to a little bit throughout the night said "let me give you my number" then she went to the bar (I know, I should have had one on me) and wrote her number on a napkin. If there is any advice that I can give to anyone is to not just study the information here until you feel you are ready. (which is what I was doing) You have to experience rejection as well as success. I guess you can look at this forum as study material. The real world is the classroom, only in this classroom you must fail in order to succed.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
isotope
Senior Don Juan
how exactly do u give a hand massage?
it seems like the hand is all bony and not easy to massage
it seems like the hand is all bony and not easy to massage
Yotsuya-san
Senior Don Juan
Well, most of the massaging you do for her will be with her knuckles and fingers. And perhaps the wrists. This is by no means the only method but here's some suggestions:Originally posted by isotope
how exactly do u give a hand massage?
it seems like the hand is all bony and not easy to massage
Be sure that her hand is in a position where she has to expend little or no energy to lift it. Better if she doesn't need to lift it at all.
Make sure her fingers are relaxed. Preferrably palm down.
Start with the knuckle and work your way to her fingertips. First, you gently rub the area around the knuckles. Careful as the knuckles are a sensitive area. What you want to go for is a gentle slow rubbing motion down each finger. Repeat the process with each of her fingers. Think of it as though you were applying lotion but much slower. Hope this helps.
I just bought a big book at Borders on massages for only $10. I haven't done it to a woman yet, but it says to start with long, somewhat firm strokes with your fingers together and stroke the top as well as the inner part of the forearm. The inner part is supposedly very sensitive. Then work your way to her wrist and take your thumband forefinger of your one hand (your other hand is supporting her arm) and make little circles. Then you go to the palm and do the same thing a with a little more pressure (all the while gauging her comfort level) go around the edges of the palm then work the inner part. Then start to work on the spaces between the the fingers (with your thumb and index finger) and then work on each individual knuckle. When you get to the tip of a digit bend it back very slightly to stretch it. You can actually practice this on yourself and it feels pretty good. By the way, the book is called "Yoga, Tai Chi, Massage, and other Healing Remedies" or something pretty close to that.