Ok this is kind of long.. sorry about that didnt mean to make it so long, anyways I havent really done any sarging in the last year.. been out of the game for reasons explained below. This post is rather long and a little off topic in the beginning.. this was this past Wed. and I've been out sarging both nights since then(without the use of mushrooms - which by the way I may seem to glorify but its something I hadn't done in about a year and a half and don't plan to do anytime soon again). I will update this post later with the events of the past two nights(and try not to make them so long) as they are more exciting than this report. Also I will be recording all my sarges / women interactions here: http://luxberry.livejournal.com
I sat on the couch in a daze, unable to move or speak. The eight foot poster of a female Express model staring back at me, taunting me, seducing me. I didn't have a single thought in my ADD infested head, quite unusual for an attention whoring only child such as myself. The only sensation in my body or mind was the increasing sense of urgency the mushrooms had started to cause, yep they were taking me under. Not much you can do now but hold on tight and hope for the best. A quiet night staring at my wall would never be so fun or would it?
"Cmon let's do something, go somewhere, anything." ****. My roomate wanted to go out. I looked right through him with x-ray vision. "I'll go out by myself if you don't want to come. Wouldn't it be more fun not sitting here anyways?" Here I was teetering on the brink of insanity and this man wanted to go drink Jack and Coke, did he not understand? Was he 'the man' out to get me? No.. he was bored. I could hardly blame him, five nights out of the week were spent him watching me smoke blunts and reading fitness websites. Go out alone he says.. no I can't let him do that, what the hell did he want to do anyways? It didn't matter I felt like a walk anyways.
Let me tell you about where I live, downtown Scottsdale, Arizona. Never been to Scottsdale? Think fake tits, $11 Red Bull and Vodkas, $14 an hour millionaires leasing Lexus' and BMW's, and you get the idea. Think of a scaled down wannabe LA with a complete lack of style. Living in the heart of the city had many benefits. Within a mile from my apartment were dozens of bars, restaurants, and nightclubs that were packed most nights to the brim. Pulling ass from these hot spots was harder than Little Luxberry around 7 a.m. every morning. I had lived here for four years - mind you not in the same apartment, but in the Scottsdale area. I had been to those clubs, I knew the people there, if not their exact name I had met a dozen people just like them. Girls with fake blonde hair and Seven jeans, guys with button down shirts and Seven jeans. I had done it all before, I was tired.
My roomate, Samoan, on the other hand had only lived here six months. I had taken him out a few times of course but he wanted more and for good reason too. Scottsdale is home to some of the hottest women I have ever met, but I wondered did I belong here? Did Samoan? In the four years I had been here I've racked up a somewhat impressive score. A girl who was named a finalist in Maxim's 2003 Hometown Hottie contest, a girl who had been featured in Playboy's Girls of the Pac-10, a girl who had been a feature model for a story in FHM, a few strippers, three Hooters waitresses, an ASU swimmer, an ASU gymnast, an ASU volleyball player, a hottie who ran track and field for a major college in the Midwest, the lead female trainer at an overcrowded Pure Fitness, just to name a few. Hell I even got Randi's number from My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance. Some of these were hardcore sarges, looking back others may have been fool's mates.
Unfortunatly somewhere along the line I lost my mojo, although not sure exactly where I'm guessing it happened when I fell victim to a string of injuries(broken arm, car crash) and my diet consisted of percocet, flexoral and chronic for several months instead of chicken breasts and protein shakes. My three months of injury turned into a year wasted. Sure I got girls, but the mojo was gone, the internalization I had worked so hard for was gone. Or was it? My ****y funny had turned into bitter ******* and I had no idea why.
"Put a ****ing shirt on and let's go." ****. He was serious. I was wearing the same clothes I had on the day before, black ****ies, white Steve Maddens, my black and red T-nation tribal shirt, and a pair of imitation $6 dollar Gucci sun glasses. This would have to do. I don't think I could handle digging around my room for anything else at the moment. We headed out the door and down the street, Samoan a little tipsy and as for myself, well I wasn't quite myself, atleast not the self I had been the past year. I had a feeling I hadn't had in months, the feeling of truely not giving a ****, the most essential skill in The Game.
After about 20 minutes and convincing Samoan I knew where we were going, we eventually got to Scottsdale's main strip(or rather a circle if you will). The funny thing about Scottsdale is there are only a handful of places that have actually been around with the same name and owners for more than a year. It seemed as if every bar or club had a new name every six months to a year and with every new name and owner came an increase in drink prices. We stopped at what was formerly Elixer a trendy after hours place now it was apparently a Jazz bar although the show had just gotten over. We went inside and I headed straight for the bathroom to get my bearings, a piece of gum, and some cologne from the attendant. Some Agua di Gio on the right wrist, a little Drakar Nor on the left. I took the time to chat him up and get into a conversational mood which suprisingly wasn't extremely hard considering my circumstances.
There weren't many people in the place as the show had just ended, a line of guys in suit jackets and five o clock shadows lined the bar. Death row they called it. There was one set of about 8 people, equal girls and guys at a booth. To hard.. I wasn't ready for that and Samoan sure as hell wasn't. We exited and headed down the street to DJ's, a more bar like atmosphere with rock music playing, pool tables, and a wooden floor. We headed to the bar to get a drink and observe our surroundings. Water for me. Jack and Coke for Samoan. To my left on the corner of the bar was what appeared to be somewhat attractive Native American chick with a friend who turned out to be her sister. She was a 6.5 but she was just practice anyways. In the midst of a shroom induced sweat I opened:
Luxberry: Hey can I get a female's opinion on something?
Nava-HO: Uh? What? Whats up?
Luxberry: Can you tell me which of these Colognes you like better? ( stick my wrists out toward her).
Nava-HO: (sniff, points to right wrist) Why do you have two colognes on?
Luxberry: I'm just that fly, hah no really you know how they always have the black guy in the bathroom handing out towels and gum and ****. Well I figured since they always have a ton of cologne it would be a good way to find out what kind I should by next since I'm running out at home.
Nava-HO: Black guy? No I've never been here before. I just moved to this side of town.
Luxberry: Yeah I'm not from here, this heat is killing me, it's like 65 degrees where I'm from!
Nava-HO: Oh no that's freezing!! I couldn't live there! Where exactly is that?
Luxberry: Oh back east. ( I noticed heavier domineering older sister who had been evil eyeing me the whole time start to get hit on by some older AFC with no game who tried to wink at me like we were in this **** together, I ignored him and turned my attention toward Nava-Ho who had turned her legs from her sister toward me. ) So are you two really good friends?
Nava-HO: Yeah... we're sisters.
Luxberry: No way you don't look at all alike... oh wait yeah you kinda do. ( Stupid shrooms I wasn't thinking, if I had I woulda opened them both instead of the target, so much for the best friends test. )
Nava-HO: Fluff
Luxberry: Fluff ( Trying to think of a routine, she was shy, C&f wouldn't win this one and she still hadn't asked me my name, Samoan finished his Jack and Coke, I said something else stupid relating to her age which got the "were you even ****ing listening?" look from her. She was still eager to talk but I had had enough of her, she was boring. Some old creep guys approach, she gets mildly distracted while they order drinks for her and her sister and I take the time to bail to the other end of the bar with Samoan where I spot a cute blonde in a pink halter top eyeing me while talking to her friend. )
I sat on the couch in a daze, unable to move or speak. The eight foot poster of a female Express model staring back at me, taunting me, seducing me. I didn't have a single thought in my ADD infested head, quite unusual for an attention whoring only child such as myself. The only sensation in my body or mind was the increasing sense of urgency the mushrooms had started to cause, yep they were taking me under. Not much you can do now but hold on tight and hope for the best. A quiet night staring at my wall would never be so fun or would it?
"Cmon let's do something, go somewhere, anything." ****. My roomate wanted to go out. I looked right through him with x-ray vision. "I'll go out by myself if you don't want to come. Wouldn't it be more fun not sitting here anyways?" Here I was teetering on the brink of insanity and this man wanted to go drink Jack and Coke, did he not understand? Was he 'the man' out to get me? No.. he was bored. I could hardly blame him, five nights out of the week were spent him watching me smoke blunts and reading fitness websites. Go out alone he says.. no I can't let him do that, what the hell did he want to do anyways? It didn't matter I felt like a walk anyways.
Let me tell you about where I live, downtown Scottsdale, Arizona. Never been to Scottsdale? Think fake tits, $11 Red Bull and Vodkas, $14 an hour millionaires leasing Lexus' and BMW's, and you get the idea. Think of a scaled down wannabe LA with a complete lack of style. Living in the heart of the city had many benefits. Within a mile from my apartment were dozens of bars, restaurants, and nightclubs that were packed most nights to the brim. Pulling ass from these hot spots was harder than Little Luxberry around 7 a.m. every morning. I had lived here for four years - mind you not in the same apartment, but in the Scottsdale area. I had been to those clubs, I knew the people there, if not their exact name I had met a dozen people just like them. Girls with fake blonde hair and Seven jeans, guys with button down shirts and Seven jeans. I had done it all before, I was tired.
My roomate, Samoan, on the other hand had only lived here six months. I had taken him out a few times of course but he wanted more and for good reason too. Scottsdale is home to some of the hottest women I have ever met, but I wondered did I belong here? Did Samoan? In the four years I had been here I've racked up a somewhat impressive score. A girl who was named a finalist in Maxim's 2003 Hometown Hottie contest, a girl who had been featured in Playboy's Girls of the Pac-10, a girl who had been a feature model for a story in FHM, a few strippers, three Hooters waitresses, an ASU swimmer, an ASU gymnast, an ASU volleyball player, a hottie who ran track and field for a major college in the Midwest, the lead female trainer at an overcrowded Pure Fitness, just to name a few. Hell I even got Randi's number from My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance. Some of these were hardcore sarges, looking back others may have been fool's mates.
Unfortunatly somewhere along the line I lost my mojo, although not sure exactly where I'm guessing it happened when I fell victim to a string of injuries(broken arm, car crash) and my diet consisted of percocet, flexoral and chronic for several months instead of chicken breasts and protein shakes. My three months of injury turned into a year wasted. Sure I got girls, but the mojo was gone, the internalization I had worked so hard for was gone. Or was it? My ****y funny had turned into bitter ******* and I had no idea why.
"Put a ****ing shirt on and let's go." ****. He was serious. I was wearing the same clothes I had on the day before, black ****ies, white Steve Maddens, my black and red T-nation tribal shirt, and a pair of imitation $6 dollar Gucci sun glasses. This would have to do. I don't think I could handle digging around my room for anything else at the moment. We headed out the door and down the street, Samoan a little tipsy and as for myself, well I wasn't quite myself, atleast not the self I had been the past year. I had a feeling I hadn't had in months, the feeling of truely not giving a ****, the most essential skill in The Game.
After about 20 minutes and convincing Samoan I knew where we were going, we eventually got to Scottsdale's main strip(or rather a circle if you will). The funny thing about Scottsdale is there are only a handful of places that have actually been around with the same name and owners for more than a year. It seemed as if every bar or club had a new name every six months to a year and with every new name and owner came an increase in drink prices. We stopped at what was formerly Elixer a trendy after hours place now it was apparently a Jazz bar although the show had just gotten over. We went inside and I headed straight for the bathroom to get my bearings, a piece of gum, and some cologne from the attendant. Some Agua di Gio on the right wrist, a little Drakar Nor on the left. I took the time to chat him up and get into a conversational mood which suprisingly wasn't extremely hard considering my circumstances.
There weren't many people in the place as the show had just ended, a line of guys in suit jackets and five o clock shadows lined the bar. Death row they called it. There was one set of about 8 people, equal girls and guys at a booth. To hard.. I wasn't ready for that and Samoan sure as hell wasn't. We exited and headed down the street to DJ's, a more bar like atmosphere with rock music playing, pool tables, and a wooden floor. We headed to the bar to get a drink and observe our surroundings. Water for me. Jack and Coke for Samoan. To my left on the corner of the bar was what appeared to be somewhat attractive Native American chick with a friend who turned out to be her sister. She was a 6.5 but she was just practice anyways. In the midst of a shroom induced sweat I opened:
Luxberry: Hey can I get a female's opinion on something?
Nava-HO: Uh? What? Whats up?
Luxberry: Can you tell me which of these Colognes you like better? ( stick my wrists out toward her).
Nava-HO: (sniff, points to right wrist) Why do you have two colognes on?
Luxberry: I'm just that fly, hah no really you know how they always have the black guy in the bathroom handing out towels and gum and ****. Well I figured since they always have a ton of cologne it would be a good way to find out what kind I should by next since I'm running out at home.
Nava-HO: Black guy? No I've never been here before. I just moved to this side of town.
Luxberry: Yeah I'm not from here, this heat is killing me, it's like 65 degrees where I'm from!
Nava-HO: Oh no that's freezing!! I couldn't live there! Where exactly is that?
Luxberry: Oh back east. ( I noticed heavier domineering older sister who had been evil eyeing me the whole time start to get hit on by some older AFC with no game who tried to wink at me like we were in this **** together, I ignored him and turned my attention toward Nava-Ho who had turned her legs from her sister toward me. ) So are you two really good friends?
Nava-HO: Yeah... we're sisters.
Luxberry: No way you don't look at all alike... oh wait yeah you kinda do. ( Stupid shrooms I wasn't thinking, if I had I woulda opened them both instead of the target, so much for the best friends test. )
Nava-HO: Fluff
Luxberry: Fluff ( Trying to think of a routine, she was shy, C&f wouldn't win this one and she still hadn't asked me my name, Samoan finished his Jack and Coke, I said something else stupid relating to her age which got the "were you even ****ing listening?" look from her. She was still eager to talk but I had had enough of her, she was boring. Some old creep guys approach, she gets mildly distracted while they order drinks for her and her sister and I take the time to bail to the other end of the bar with Samoan where I spot a cute blonde in a pink halter top eyeing me while talking to her friend. )
