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Had Online date first time ever and she cancelled

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escaleraroyal

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First time using Tinder. We matched on tinder. Asked her out, she says "Sure". A day before we meet I tested her to confirm if she is still up for coffee. She says to me I let her hanging yesterday. I just didn't know what else to say to her so I just stopped replying to her yesterday. So I apologized and she says it's not going to workout. I said "thanks, take care" and unmatched her. Weird, this has never happened to me in Daygame and I had at least 200 dates from it.
 
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biggoal

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Luckily that hasn't happened to me yet. Did you exchange numbers and text a lot? It seems if you get their actual number it gets on a more personal level, connection. If they don't want to give me their number then I won't bother asking them out. I usually text the day of the date to make sure.

Not much on Tinder around here except skanks and hookers, but I've never had much luck with it and Bumble. The times I did match they just disappear. I think Tinder it's too simple to use and they flake so easy because they have so much to choose from.
 
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Clamslammer

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She did you a favor and she is very insecure and would be a headache to date. You are never going to find quality in online dating. Think for a moment and ask yourself of all of the quality girls you know do they need to do online dating, probably not because she has options in real life. Online dating is good for a quickie if thats what you are looking for.
 
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biggoal

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Clamslammer said:
She did you a favor and she is very insecure and would be a headache to date. You are never going to find quality in online dating. Think for a moment and ask yourself of all of the quality girls you know do they need to do online dating, probably not because she has options in real life. Online dating is good for a quickie if thats what you are looking for.
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IRL meeting someone you at least get a read somewhat of what their personality is like even on cold approach. or if it's a social circle or relative that introduces you. OLD is like throwing darts blind at a dart board. Like on OLD for example women will text your eyeballs off and then you meet and totally different personality.

I had 4 high end HB dates from match and FB dating the last couple months and all were divorced, had personal issues, etc. going on. Especially two of them had no business being on OLD looks wise. That 9.5 HB is literally one of the hottest ones within the 60 mile radius on match I went out with. She shoudl have no business even being near OLD with her job and looks she has but the personality said it all why she is on OLD.
 
Glassguy

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escaleraroyal said:
First time using Tinder. We matched on tinder. Asked her out, she says "Sure". A day before we meet I tested her to confirm if she is still up for coffee. She says to me I let her hanging yesterday. I just didn't know what else to say to her so I just stopped replying to her yesterday. So I apologized and she says it's not going to workout. I said "thanks, take care" and unmatched her. Weird, this has never happened to me in Daygame and I had at least 200 dates from it.
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I will take a different approach than the people who have commented on this already.

Women want a LEADER. Leaders LEAD......they dont ask and they dont second guess.

Just from the wording of your post I see a very distinct pattern that I am positive follows how you actually interact with women and it will lead to situations like this.

Follow what you say-
"A day before we meet I tested her to confirm if she is still up for coffee"- A couple of things here. #1 its Tinder. Screw coffee. Invite her to JOIN you to grab a drink. #2 You are "testing" her because you are insecure and want the validation of knowing she has interest and will show up. That is a very quick and easy way to kill interest. She should be the one "testing" to see if you are going to show up. You set the date and then you go have a drink. If she shows up, great. If not, you invited her to JOIN you meaning if she doesnt show up you are still going for a drink and who knows, you might meet someone else while there.

She said she left you hanging because you were insecure and sought out validation through your testing. I assume a woman is interested if I make my intent clear (inviting her to JOIN me for a drink) so her easy way out was to say you left her hanging.

You didnt know what else to say because you knew it was dead in the water at that point.

We live in a world of social media and texting/messaging. You have to be careful on how you say things because these women will smell insecurity a mile a way.
 
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worldknown

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Disagree with stringpuller. Too many females on there not to have your pole in the water.
 
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worldknown

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stringpuller said:
OLD is for desperate dudes that put it up as a barrier to put there face in her real face. True story
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That’s an insane statement. You’re a caveman. You have the ability to not only fish in one pond (socially) but also another pond (online) and you don’t take advantage? Sorry dude I disagree to the max on this one
 
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Clamslammer

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Glassguy said:
I will take a different approach than the people who have commented on this already.

Women want a LEADER. Leaders LEAD......they dont ask and they dont second guess.

Just from the wording of your post I see a very distinct pattern that I am positive follows how you actually interact with women and it will lead to situations like this.

Follow what you say-
"A day before we meet I tested her to confirm if she is still up for coffee"- A couple of things here. #1 its Tinder. Screw coffee. Invite her to JOIN you to grab a drink. #2 You are "testing" her because you are insecure and want the validation of knowing she has interest and will show up. That is a very quick and easy way to kill interest. She should be the one "testing" to see if you are going to show up. You set the date and then you go have a drink. If she shows up, great. If not, you invited her to JOIN you meaning if she doesnt show up you are still going for a drink and who knows, you might meet someone else while there.

She said she left you hanging because you were insecure and sought out validation through your testing. I assume a woman is interested if I make my intent clear (inviting her to JOIN me for a drink) so her easy way out was to say you left her hanging.

You didnt know what else to say because you knew it was dead in the water at that point.

We live in a world of social media and texting/messaging. You have to be careful on how you say things because these women will smell insecurity a mile a way.
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I agree with leading and taking action but from what he said it sounds like she texted him the previous day and he didn't respond so she got insecure because she is probably use to guys blowing her up and when he asked her the next day if they were still on she became passive aggressive and blew him off due to her ego. We do not have the text exchange so it is hard to tell.
 
oldmanofthesea

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Totally agree with Glassguy on this.

It is a huge red flag for a woman to expect YOU to confirm dates in advance. Are her fingers broken that she can't text? Entitlement and insecurity. You should see this as a positive thing that she disqualified herself to you and saved you wasted time.

Also, sometimes women will use this as an excuse that makes it your fault, when they find another guy they are more interested in and would prefer to see over you. Instead of owning it, or just cancelling, they mirror their guilt into you and say it's your fault for not confirming.
 
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biggoal

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Bible_Belt said:
I've never been on a "coffee date." It sounds boring and awkward.
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Yea but most on here say dinner dates are a terrible idea because they're expensive for a first date. They recommend coffee or drinks. Especially if it's an old date.
 
Bible_Belt

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biggoal said:
Yea but most on here say dinner dates are a terrible idea because they're expensive for a first date. They recommend coffee or drinks. Especially if it's an old date.
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The only thing worse than a coffee date would be a dinner date, I'll give you that.

Try getting a hobby. Do something you like. Emotion is contagious and fun is an emotion. If you are having fun, so will she. Whatever your best element is, invite a woman to share that with you.
 
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biggoal

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Bible_Belt said:
The only thing worse than a coffee date would be a dinner date, I'll give you that.

Try getting a hobby. Do something you like. Emotion is contagious and fun is an emotion. If you are having fun, so will she. Whatever your best element is, invite a woman to share that with you.
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Not all women have the same hobby as men. Like I like fishing and guns. Most women for a date don't want to go shooting.
 
Bible_Belt

Bible_Belt

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biggoal said:
Not all women have the same hobby as men. Like I like fishing and guns. Most women for a date don't want to go shooting.
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You could try it and see. It would at least screen out the free dinner wh0res. Where I come from, women on old like to brag about how "country" they are and post pics of themselves killing deer.
 
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biggoal

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Bible_Belt said:
You could try it and see. It would at least screen out the free dinner wh0res. Where I come from, women on old like to brag about how "country" they are and post pics of themselves killing deer.
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I rarely see that around here and when I see one with guns they're usually fat and got tattoos all over. I do see women with no trump supporters allowed on their profiles though and they're hot girls usually.
 
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escaleraroyal

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Glassguy said:
Follow what you say-
"A day before we meet I tested her to confirm if she is still up for coffee"- A couple of things here. #1 its Tinder. Screw coffee. Invite her to JOIN you to grab a drink. #2 You are "testing" her because you are insecure and want the validation of knowing she has interest and will show up. That is a very quick and easy way to kill interest. She should be the one "testing" to see if you are going to show up. You set the date and then you go have a drink. If she shows up, great. If not, you invited her to JOIN you meaning if she doesnt show up you are still going for a drink and who knows, you might meet someone else while there.
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It's "TEXTING".
 
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