Had my first ever tinder (OLD) date last night

sangheilios

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A couple days ago I started chatting with one of my matches on tinder, with what appeared to be a decent looking woman in her early 20s. We exchanged numbers yesterday and made plans to meet up for a drink late that night after she'd be getting out from her work.

Anyway, I was waiting outside and she texted me when she had pulled in and from a distance I could tell this was already off to a bad start. Though I only saw her from behind and from a distance I could already tell she was way heavier than what her pictures showed. I go inside and she was waiting for me, she wasn't ugly but also her face looked very different from the photos. We introduce ourselves and grab seats outside on the patio.

After sitting down we order drinks for ourselves and we start talking, but within a few minutes I could tell that this wasn't going to go well. She barely asked me any questions about myself and would go on these long winded one sided conversations about really trivial stuff. I'd try to steer the conversation towards a different direction by asking her questions, which would work for a bit but then return to what she was doing previously. I was polite with her but to the say the least it was kind of a challenge for me to sit there and listen to her, especially since I wasn't into her. She had no real hobbies, interests, direction or future so it was kind of difficult for me to converse with her.

We were there for about an hour before I was able to get her to slow down and realize how late it was, I just made a comment about how she must be tired from a long work day and that it was way past her bedtime. I quickly say it was nice meeting her and told her to text me when she gets back home, but instead of walking out with her I went to use the bathroom.

It was an interesting experience but I was a bit disappointed. After this it made me realize that I need to be far more proactive with approaching women in the real world.
 
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sangheilios

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Most OLD experiences go something like this. Way too many fakes and flakes out there.
When I was there and after I left all I felt was that I just need to be approaching more women in the real world.
 

sangheilios

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Did you call her over the phone before date to get rid of interviewer vibe?
Briefly, I wasn't even asking her many questions, as she was just going on this long winded one sided conversations about random stuff I would never be able to add to.
 

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Young OG

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A couple days ago I started chatting with one of my matches on tinder, with what appeared to be a decent looking woman in her early 20s. We exchanged numbers yesterday and made plans to meet up for a drink late that night after she'd be getting out from her work.

Anyway, I was waiting outside and she texted me when she had pulled in and from a distance I could tell this was already off to a bad start. Though I only saw her from behind and from a distance I could already tell she was way heavier than what her pictures showed. I go inside and she was waiting for me, she wasn't ugly but also her face looked very different from the photos. We introduce ourselves and grab seats outside on the patio.

After sitting down we order drinks for ourselves and we start talking, but within a few minutes I could tell that this wasn't going to go well. She barely asked me any questions about myself and would go on these long winded one sided conversations about really trivial stuff. I'd try to steer the conversation towards a different direction by asking her questions, which would work for a bit but then return to what she was doing previously. I was polite with her but to the say the least it was kind of a challenge for me to sit there and listen to her, especially since I wasn't into her. She had no real hobbies, interests, direction or future so it was kind of difficult for me to converse with her.

We were there for about an hour before I was able to get her to slow down and realize how late it was, I just made a comment about how she must be tired from a long work day and that it was way past her bedtime. I quickly say it was nice meeting her and told her to text me when she gets back home, but instead of walking out with her I went to use the bathroom.

It was an interesting experience but I was a bit disappointed. After this it made me realize that I need to be far more proactive with approaching women in the real world.
Women on OLD rarely ever look as good as they do in there pictures.

You did make some mistakes. You should have walked her to her car and went for a kiss close. If the kiss turned into a make out, you could have invited her back to your place. I've invited plenty of women back my place without kissing and they agreed to it.

You also shouldn't have told her to text you when she got home. It kind of makes you look like you want a relationship already with her.
 

sangheilios

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Women on OLD rarely ever look as good as they do in there pictures.

You did make some mistakes. You should have walked her to her car and went for a kiss close. If the kiss turned into a make out, you could have invited her back to your place. I've invited plenty of women back my place without kissing and they agreed to it.

You also shouldn't have told her to text you when she got home. It kind of makes you look like you want a relationship already with her.
I wasn't into her at all and have no interest in seeing her again, I had expressed this on my original post. I just told her to text me when she gets home just to be a good guy, not out of wanting a relationship lol.

I'm just going to try to meet more women in the real world.
 

Kotaix

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Women on OLD rarely ever look as good as they do in there pictures.

You did make some mistakes. You should have walked her to her car and went for a kiss close. If the kiss turned into a make out, you could have invited her back to your place. I've invited plenty of women back my place without kissing and they agreed to it.

You also shouldn't have told her to text you when she got home. It kind of makes you look like you want a relationship already with her.
I doubt he had the desire to kiss her and progress to a second date, this report wouldn't have been written if she was hot.
 

Young OG

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I wasn't into her at all and have no interest in seeing her again, I had expressed this on my original post. I just told her to text me when she gets home just to be a good guy, not out of wanting a relationship lol.

I'm just going to try to meet more women in the real world.
If your not that experienced with women and arent getting laid very often, then you should have tried to bang her. It would have been great practice for when you meet a woman you are interested in.
 

sangheilios

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If your not that experienced with women and arent getting laid very often, then you should have tried to bang her. It would have been great practice for when you meet a woman you are interested in.
That's true, but I found her rather annoying so I didn't really want to spend much more time with her to be quite honest.
 

TBG

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Did she have body pics on her profile? Face photos only pretty much means they're overweight and they know it.

Plenty of fat girls out there that will show their body but they normally call themselves "chunky but funky" rather than come to terms with what they actually are.
 

sangheilios

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Did she have body pics on her profile? Face photos only pretty much means they're overweight and they know it.

Plenty of fat girls out there that will show their body but they normally call themselves "chunky but funky" rather than come to terms with what they actually are.
She actually did have a full body picture but it was either old or taken in a way where it hid the fact she was overweight.
 
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stormrider

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This is going to be 100% of your experience on OLD unless you are just looking for sex.

Dating was invented by the feminine imperative so that they could ride the c0ck carousel.

Dating is completely useless for men if they are not looking to increase their notch count.

Social circle/social life/eco-system of hot women building is what you want to do.

No sane person goes on a date with a stranger and try to create a relationship. Real relationships need a bunch of natural ingredients for them to even get off the ground: Proximity, attraction, and commonalities/shared interests/demographics/shared values/connection/compatibility. These ingredients exists in social circles where you are surrounded by like minded people. The probability of finding such a person is greater if you had a social life with a lot of access to females. But the probability of finding this person through OLD or the nightclubs is .000000000000001%.

If you are one of the foolish people to try to look for an LTR through scavenging in the SMV market where people are just trying to hook up, you have a .00000000000001% probability of succeeding.

I have really attractive female friends that go on 100+ dates a year and can never find an LTR, lol. These women are 8+ and even they have no luck. I keep telling them the sex and the city lifestyle is for hookups and plate spinning. LTR's are born out of serendipity, where you have a lot of friends with similar interests and you're just enjoying life, and it just comes out of nowhere. When you have abundance and you naturally attract it instead of having to look for it. Deep down inside, you know this. You have to be a complete person (why does the forum forget about having a social life?) before LTR material starts showing up. Dating does not count as a life. Trying to find an LTR through dating is for desperate people.

I was in the game for 15 years and I never ran into LTR material out in the field, lol. Even if women tried to qualify me for an LTR, we would find out that we had nothing in common and zero chemistry. A complete waste of time (unless we are having sex). LTR's always happened to me during my every day social life.
 
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sangheilios

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This is going to be 100% of your experience on OLD unless you are just looking for sex.

Dating was invented by the feminine imperative so that they could ride the c0ck carousel.

Dating is completely useless for men if they are not looking to increase their notch count.

Social circle/social life/-eco-system building is what you want to do.

No sane person goes on a date with a stranger and try to create a relationship. Real relationships need a bunch of natural ingredients for them to even get off the ground: Proximity, attraction, and commonalities/shared interests/demographics/shared values/connection/compatibility. These ingredients exists in social circles where you are surrounded by like minded people. The probability of finding such a person is greater if you had a social life with a lot of access to females. But the probability of finding this person through OLD or the nightclubs is .000000000000001%.

If you are one of the foolish people to try to look for an LTR through scavenging in the SMV market where people are just trying to hook up, you have a .00000000000001% probability of succeeding.

I have really attractive female friends that go on 100+ dates a year and can never find an LTR, lol. These women are 8+ and even they have no luck. I keep telling them the sex and the city lifestyle is for hookups and plate spinning. LTR's are born our of serendipity, where you have a lot of friends with similar interests and you're just enjoying life, and it just comes out of nowhere. When you have abundance and you naturally attract it. Deep down inside, you know this. You have to be a complete person (why does the forum forget about having a social life?) before LTR material starts showing up. Dating does not count as a life. Trying to find an LTR through dating is for desperate people.

I was in the game for 15 years and I never ran into LTR material out in the field, lol. It always happened to me during my every day social life.
Before I left I honestly was not expecting much to come from this but I also had this uneasy feeling about her not appearing to be what she displayed on her profile. This was my first time ever meeting someone from an app or dating site, so this was kind of an eye opener. I never went in there with the intention of getting into a potential relationship.

As I mentioned previously on this thread, I saw this experience as a message saying that I need to be meeting women in the real world and in environments where we may have something in common. Perhaps that's a social circle, maybe a shared common interest, etc. However, I also feel that by interacting with a woman face to face before actually going on a date would provide me with enough information to see if that is something I could possibly work with. With this particular woman all I could go by was with some pictures, which did not actually display what she really looked like, and not much more.

I think I'm going to keep this tinder/OLD stuff as a supplement but never expect much from it. Even though the experience was disappointing, it was still better for me to get out of the house and experience life instead of just sitting around.
 

stormrider

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I think I'm going to keep this tinder/OLD stuff as a supplement but never expect much from it. Even though the experience was disappointing, it was still better for me to get out of the house and experience life instead of just sitting around.
Or you could have attended some sort of social event with people who have similar interests.
 

sangheilios

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Or you could have attended some sort of social event with people who have similar interests.
Well, for a Tuesday night there really isn't going to be all that much out there.

I've checked out meetup groups before and the people were way older than I was, or at least appeared to be. I went to a speed dating event back in April and found nothing there.

Whenever I go out with the boys if I actually put an effort in I can always find someone to talk to that is not just attractive but at least interesting and enjoyable to converse with. I'm not really seeking a LTR, as that comes well after meeting someone.

However, with all this said I feel I'm on the right path and by having these experiences it's molding me for things to come in the future.
 
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