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Ha. Girl goes from super interested to (essentially) ghosting

.Paradox.

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Got this girl's number off Tinder. Started texting her last Wednesday. Little bit of small talk, then it gets sexual. We end up sexting and exchanging some risque pics. She SUPER into it--talking about how attracted to me she is, how she's a hornball and will want to f*ck me all the time, etc. We had a date for Saturday, but come Friday I changed it to Sunday because a good friend was in town and I needed to see him Saturday or wouldn't get to see him at all. She's cool with it. She then texts me Saturday saying "I regret to inform you all this sexual energy will have to remain pent up til next weekend." She didn't specify exactly why, but I'm guessing she got her period. When I actually ask why she says "we can still hang out if you want to. And I'll totally give you the blow job of a lifetime." Tell her I'm down (obviously).

That (Saturday) night I end up tripping and banging my face on a desk (it was dark ha) and give myself a black eye. I show her a pic, she asks what happened, I tell her I'm a clumsy idiot and what happened. Sunday morning (supposed to have a date with her in the evening) I snapchat her a couple pics as a "warm up" for later. No response. Several hours later I text her asking if we're still on or if she got cold feet, and she responds saying "no.. no cold feet. I went out Friday night and I ended up going out last night too so I'm just kind of beat. I'm takin today slow haha." I tell her it's cool and to hit me up later if she's still up for it, and that we can just chill and take it easy. She didn't hit me up. Then this morning I wake up to a text from her...

Her: Hey sorry I was such a chump yesterday I was notttt feeling like leaving my apartment lol
Me: It's cool. We all have days like that
Her: I figured you'd probably want your eye to heal too :rofl:
Me: Eh it's actually not that bad. Plus if ***sext***, I'd probably forget I even have a black eye ;)

No response. I'm just like wtf? I mean I have a black eye, but it's just bruising/dark under my eye. It's not that bad. But that's the ONLY thing that's changed.
 

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sangheilios

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This type of stuff is really common with women you are going to "meet" on tinder and other forms of online dating. Don't take it personally, you didn't do anything wrong.
 

JayAce

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This type of stuff is really common with women you are going to "meet" on tinder and other forms of online dating. Don't take it personally, you didn't do anything wrong.
^ exactly. flakes, validation, etc
until you’re actually in person with the woman...

everything beforehand needs to be taken with a giant grain of salt.
 
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Agree w the above... also small chance she's been a victim of abuse and doesnt want a dude she thinks fights. But prob more the first two replies. Girls are flaky AF these days.
 

teacha

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OP it’s pretty obvious this girl is spinning a LOT of plates. If you really wanna move to the front of the queue, you need to adopt a nonchalant attitude:

1. Don’t be so eager.

2. Focus on other women/hobbies/friends/purpose.

3. Flirt with her, but whatever you do, do not pursue.
 
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LARaiders85

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I mean haven't you had a lot of plates and/or been rebounding and done the same thing?
Just put yourself in her shoes, in other words the shoes of someone that is emotionally attached to the past and in total abundance of options presently.
 

backseatjuan

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You made a mistake in your texting. It's one of those mistakes that guys make, when conversation goes this positive, even 1% of what you describe, there is flirting, it's time to escalate and ask her out. You didn't, she told you exactly what she feels about you right now -

Her: Hey sorry you was such a chump yesterday I was notttt feeling like leaving your apartment lol

Sexting brother, is what most dudes do, even afcs are going to be sexting. It's not escalation at all, it is validation. That's besides a point that you should have kept your texts sparse, and made her chat instead with a champ that textes her, and chat with you for real date plan.


 

stringpuller

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Got this girl's number off Tinder. Started texting her last Wednesday. Little bit of small talk, then it gets sexual. We end up sexting and exchanging some risque pics. She SUPER into it--talking about how attracted to me she is, how she's a hornball and will want to f*ck me all the time, etc. We had a date for Saturday, but come Friday I changed it to Sunday because a good friend was in town and I needed to see him Saturday or wouldn't get to see him at all. She's cool with it. She then texts me Saturday saying "I regret to inform you all this sexual energy will have to remain pent up til next weekend." She didn't specify exactly why, but I'm guessing she got her period. When I actually ask why she says "we can still hang out if you want to. And I'll totally give you the blow job of a lifetime." Tell her I'm down (obviously).

That (Saturday) night I end up tripping and banging my face on a desk (it was dark ha) and give myself a black eye. I show her a pic, she asks what happened, I tell her I'm a clumsy idiot and what happened. Sunday morning (supposed to have a date with her in the evening) I snapchat her a couple pics as a "warm up" for later. No response. Several hours later I text her asking if we're still on or if she got cold feet, and she responds saying "no.. no cold feet. I went out Friday night and I ended up going out last night too so I'm just kind of beat. I'm takin today slow haha." I tell her it's cool and to hit me up later if she's still up for it, and that we can just chill and take it easy. She didn't hit me up. Then this morning I wake up to a text from her...

Her: Hey sorry I was such a chump yesterday I was notttt feeling like leaving my apartment lol
Me: It's cool. We all have days like that
Her: I figured you'd probably want your eye to heal too :rofl:
Me: Eh it's actually not that bad. Plus if ***sext***, I'd probably forget I even have a black eye ;)

No response. I'm just like wtf? I mean I have a black eye, but it's just bruising/dark under my eye. It's not that bad. But that's the ONLY thing that's changed.
Over played. Texted killed. Imagine that.
No scarcity, no mystery, no value. No close.
 

Mike32ct

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You really can’t change plans when “the iron is hot.”

I mean you CAN, but you risk having the wheels come off.

I understand why you did it. Sure, your buddy comes first. Plus you had an accident, so it’s all understandable.

But, generally speaking, any change of plans with a high IL chick comes with a risk.

I’m not necessarily defending these inflexible chicks, but it’s reality today. It’s usually a limited time offer lol. They have so many possible guys in the pipeline that they won’t cut you any slack on scheduling.

Plus they live moment by moment. They can go from high IL to low IL very quickly.
 
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Snake-eyes

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1. You self deprecate
2. You kill the suspense by sending nudes
3 what everyone else said on this post
 
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Korrupt

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Block anyone talking about texting in this topic. They're idiots. There's only 3 possibilities...

1.) The black eye freaks her out for some reason
2.) She met someone else
3.) Mixed emotions/cold feet from being on her period or just from being female

I get why you're pissed off about it. I don't like when people talk a big game then disappear either--no-one does.

I'd hit her up next week and gage her response (if there is one). Bad or none? Let it go.
 

.Paradox.

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She ended up texting me today and said:

"Sorry it's been crazy at work and I've been exhausted. I didn't mean any harm .. but I do think I lost the spark I was feeling. Sorry."

She lost the "spark," since wednesday (when we started talking), and before we even met. Lmao what in the f*ck?
 
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Korrupt

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She ended up texting me today and said:

"Sorry it's been crazy at work and I've been exhausted. I didn't mean any harm .. but I do think I lost the spark I was feeling. Sorry."

She lost the "spark," since wednesday (when we started talking), and before we even met. Lmao what in the f*ck?
She's essentially a bullsh!tter. And probably a bullsh!tter with a lot of options. Send her this then just go no contact:

"Actually meeting and getting to know each other in person would reignite that spark pretty damn fast. Guaranteed. But it's all good. You seem busy and like you have a lot on your plate. I've been there so I understand. No hard feelings"

It'll put the idea in her head that meeting will get the "spark" back, but also show that you're willing to walk away with no "hard feelings." Most dudes in this situation will beg/plead with her to meetup, and/or get angry. You'll at least seem different from all the afc's.
 

teacha

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She ended up texting me today and said:

"Sorry it's been crazy at work and I've been exhausted. I didn't mean any harm .. but I do think I lost the spark I was feeling. Sorry."

She lost the "spark," since wednesday (when we started talking), and before we even met. Lmao what in the f*ck?
She never had high interest to begin with. You think you are the only guy on tinder she gave her number to and was flirting with? Probably, met someone better than you over the weekend, at least in her eyes anyway.

You pretty much messed up whatever little interest she had in you by being so overzealous in your interactions. Came off way too desperate imo.

Just reply “cool” and keep it moving. Do not push for a meet up or try to convince her otherwise, you’ll only end up repulsing her a lot more.
 
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.Paradox.

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She's essentially a bullsh!tter. And probably a bullsh!tter with a lot of options. Send her this then just go no contact:

"Actually meeting and getting to know each other in person would reignite that spark pretty damn fast. Guaranteed. But it's all good. You seem busy and like you have a lot on your plate. I've been there so I understand. No hard feelings"

It'll put the idea in her head that meeting will get the "spark" back, but also show that you're willing to walk away with no "hard feelings." Most dudes in this situation will beg/plead with her to meetup, and/or get angry. You'll at least seem different from all the afc's.
I went with that and deleted her number.

She never had high interest to begin with. You think you are the only guy on tinder she gave her number to and was flirting with? Probably, met someone better than you over the weekend, at least in her eyes anyway.

You pretty much messed up whatever little interest she had in you by being so overzealous in your interactions. Came off way too desperate imo.

Just reply “cool” and keep it moving. Do not push for a meet up or try to convince her otherwise, you’ll only end up repulsing her a lot more.
She literally said "I hope you're down to fvck all the time I'm suchhh a horn ball" at 8pm on saturday. If that's not high interest I don't know what is. That was also right before I gave myself a black eye, which is why I thought her flaking sunday might have something to do with the eye. I don't disagree that she may have met a dude later that night though. Obviously anything's possible

Also, the real reason for the black eye is that I was with a different girl saturday and she headbutted me in bed. Seriously. I wasn't going to tell this girl that, so I said I dropped something, it was dark, I bent down fast to pick the thing up and hit my f*cking face.
 
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Visionist

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There's nothing like the feeling of meeting a woman in the real world, whilst just out & about being awesome and doing your sh!t.

I won't make any friends saying this, but delete your Tinder and all other OLD and spend that free time visiting someplace new. I know you don't have time to just go shooting off; who the Hell does these days? But the efficiency of OLD is an illusion. Some guys will get a lot of plates this way and more power to them, but to me there's nothing like seeing a good looking girl in the wild and catching her imagination with a bold, sometimes direct, sometimes situational approach.

Just go somewhere you like to be and wanna be. You don't even have to approach at first, just enjoy being there. Get used to that energy. Become a master in that domain.
 

teacha

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I went with that and deleted her number.



She literally said "I hope you're down to fvck all the time I'm suchhh a horn ball" at 8pm on saturday. If that's not high interest I don't know what is.
Talk is cheap. Always pay attention to a woman’s actions and not her words.

That was also right before I gave myself a black eye, which is why I thought her flaking sunday might have something to do with the eye. I don't disagree that she may have met a dude later that night though. Obviously anything's possible
Now you are just rationalising things. Bottom line, she never had high interest because if she did, black eye or no black eye, she would still be gagging to suck your ****.
 

Visionist

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I remember coming back home empty handed from being flaked on one evening (always have a plan B), and suddenly some random American chick starts sexting me on FB. You see here's the thing; it's all virtual. I played along and made it an "I'm more depraved than you" game because online is all just a game, a laugh. We had a laugh and never spoke again.

At the same time, some local HB8 town harlot single mum also FB PM'd me asking what I meant when I posted a cryptic "you've changed" on one of her pretend virtue signalling slutty pictures with the cheesy poetic caption (ugh). She's instantly all like "changed how? What do you mean?!" and I lead her on a little. Didn't ask her out as that's what she expected.

TLDR: online is a lark at best
 

nismo-4

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When you do OLD, you should have a 1 strike policy for all new women you haven't met yet. And enforce this. If she flakes, you're not interested in immature girls and we won't work out, we obviously want different things and are incompatible, or your ex got back with you. One strike.

When you talk with a girl especially from OLD, you're always one action, inaction, trait, or other guy's message away from losing her. You cheering for Manchester United or the New England Patriots can cost you.

If you're not first, you're last.
 
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