$h!+, I'm Like A F'ckin Mute!!!!

[MakeItHappen]

look guys i've got a big problem! I cant even specify it excatly but i can call it extreme muteness!!! I CANT SAY SH!+ EVEN WHEN I WANT TO!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME????

i was recording a video with my friends riht? 7 girls and 6 guys. before we started shooting all the guys but me were talking to the girls... i was alll by myself!!! so my boy calls me over and being quite reluctant i walked over there and just listened to them talk... i couldnt say a thing!!!! i dont know what it was but my mind was just blank and i couldnt say a word!!!!

PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE GIVE CONCRETE TIPS ON HOW I CAN BE MORE CONFIDENT AND COMFORTABLE IN SOCIAL SETTINGS CUZ ITS KILLING ME!!!!!HOW I CAN BE MORE OUTGOING AND TALKATIVE?

 

[jonny football hero]

One of the techiniques, (which i claim no credit for, i found it on thsi site) is to imagine someone you can talk to face, on the girls. this makes you want to talk to them.
The way i'd play it is to talk to your "boys" like the women weren't there, therefore making them feel "why is this lad ignoring us?" i must get his attention.

 

[MadTyteYo!]

read the info on this site and others and do a bootcamp which will help u brake out of your shell.

 

[NHY]

Its just a little thing you have,
its called SHYNESS,
Don't worry, I guess most of us here, myself included, have this problem, just take thoe others advice and research the material they suggested, I should go and read the boot camp myself!

Your here becuase you know that theres something wrong, you want to fix and you'll do anything to do so! Well, first thing to do, read all the posts in the DJ Bible marked ' must read ' , you'll find them helpful and even mindblowing!

Good Luck, fellow AFC....

 

[dip]

Originally posted by jonny football hero
One of the techiniques, (which i claim no credit for, i found it on thsi site) is to imagine someone you can talk to face, on the girls. this makes you want to talk to them.
The way i'd play it is to talk to your "boys" like the women weren't there, therefore making them feel "why is this lad ignoring us?" i must get his attention.

not really...

the girls would probably think that he is gay or he dosent know how to talk to girls...

u gotta practice and get some nuts and just talk to them. u do have to break out of your shell and just start talking. if u dont know what to do, get some guy friends and watch them in action, learn to talk to guys first, then work on girls..

also get a job where you communicate with people. you learn how to talk better, and u can even spit some game at the office

 

[gav]

Something that helped me out was just adding an extra opinion, a different viewpoint to the conversation and never being afraid to have that viewpoint

Also if u missed out on the beginning of the conversation, just ask what they were talking about and join in

In general though, you need to improve your attitude towards yourself, get some self-respect. Find out who you are first, before you find other people. This is very hard to do, but worth it in the longrun.

 

[JSH]

Read the Bible and try and follow a bootcamp.

As Gav has said, for me, the way i improved confidence (now im bordering on arrogant{not good}) is via self improvement, feeling better about the way i am and who i am. Don't worry, chill, you will make mistakes, who cares. You are probably putting too much pressure on yourself to succeed, just go out and have fun.

 

[Sir Lancelot]

The next time you feel like you're gonna lock up (you can't talk) just say something. Be it an opinion, a joke, just say it. DJ Bootcamp also helps a LOT, I used to have the same problem you did. After doing bootcamp for a while my fear of speaking out has gone away and hasn't come back since.

 

[naluholo]

dip, what jonny was saying wasn't wrong at all. I've done the same thing at small parties with great success. But that doesn't work at big parties (as far as I know) or in any other social situation, so learning how to speak in front of people is important...

 

[bomb]

ya man i have the same problem, i can talk one on one good with chicks and my buds but the group convos, i always end up just listening

 

[vash5052]

i have a different problem i can do ok in a group but i suck one on one

 

[WaRpEd]

I have the same problem...though luckily lately I've been taking care of that lil problem.

Here's something that helps me. When i get in a tough spot like that, I generaly remember the fact that I could Die at any moment. I could suddenly get somesort of wierd foriegn virus that nobody's even heard of and Die right on the spot. Hell, russia could get angry at us for no apparent reason and throw a couple dozen nukes my way (no offence to any Russian people). Or perhaps the moon will fly off course and crash into mars causing our planet to go haywire, fly off course, and smack into the sun! (Sorry...i just got a little carried away ) The point is that I may not be here tomorrow...hell...mankind may not be here tomorow...LIVE YOUR LIFE DAMIT! And then I try to think of what's been going on locally, the latest gossip, etc. And if i still can't think of anything, i just say something...ANYTHING! stupid or not, it's ok to be crazy! (sometimes )

Sincerly-The sexiest man on this planet (so far)

 

[Porky]

Why are you complaining? You like being a mute, or you'd change it. Don't ask us for help. If you need motivation, look at your name. If you want to change, make it happen .

A few months ago I was in the same predicament as you. Things would get uncomfortable fast when I was with somebody I didn't know well. When I got back from a date two weeks ago, the first thing that struck me was how easy it was - we were both enjoying ourselves fully the entire time and there was never an awkward moment.

Go out, meet new people, and practice your conversation skills. What you read about on this website is women being attracted to looks and confidence. Those are two very general terms. A lot of being a confident person is being able to talk to anybody. I attract women because I make them and their friends laugh within seconds of striking up conversation. All you need to do is try.

If you're in high school and looking to make new friends, read this: The Definitive Guide: How to be successful in high school