how do you guys cope with the fact that you're getting older, not a spring chicken anymore? I don't go out anymore, stopped working out for two years, i'm online alot more then i used to. I didn't feel this way when i turned 30, but i am into mid-30's now i feel like my life is already began downhill ....
Hello Friend,
If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.
It will be the most efficient use of your time.
And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.
Thank you for visiting and have a great day!
Guys who are in their 30's
- Thread starter miguel t
- Start date
Simple:
1. Start going out more
2. Start working out again
3. Spend less time on the computer and more time socializing.
I just started to put my life back together this year. And doing the simple things mentioned above have made a huge difference in my sef-confidence.
I see you're new here. Read the DJ bible, and apply some of the techniques to your life. You shoule begin to feel a difference.
1. Start going out more
2. Start working out again
3. Spend less time on the computer and more time socializing.
I just started to put my life back together this year. And doing the simple things mentioned above have made a huge difference in my sef-confidence.
I see you're new here. Read the DJ bible, and apply some of the techniques to your life. You shoule begin to feel a difference.
edmond
Senior Don Juan
Who the hell are you, Suicidal Sid, you sound like you already have one foot in the grave? I am over 41 years old and I am stronger, better looking and better dressed than all the younger guys I see around me who look like a pack of withered wet rats. What has age got to do with anything?
Because I am NUMBER 1
Because I am NUMBER 1
time is fascinating. life should get better as you get older. unfortunately for many, as they get older life becomes harder.
the reason for this is very very very simple. if you make bad choices in life, you pay the price down the road.
marry the wrong woman = headaches down the road
dont save your money = headaches down the road
dont get an education = headaches down the road
dont excercise = headaches down the road
dont evolve spirtually or psychologically = headaches down the road
however, if you work out once or twice a week, eat healthy, get an education, invest your money (also, live beneath your means so you have money to invest) and focus having a life purpose life just gets better as you get older.
so many people look at other people and think the grass is always greener. they fail to realize that the house and bmw are paid for with loans. the hot wife rarely gives it up and spends most of her time nagging - oh, and the hot wife is about 5 years away from having a cottage cheese ass.
for the younger guys reading this, if theres one piece of advice i can give, its take care of your career and your money. learn how to master these things and whatever happens with the other areas of your life, you will grow stronger as you get older.
im still in my early 30s and have over 6 figures saved up. i gotta tell you, nothing feels better than coming home from work and knowing that you actually made more money off the stock market that day than you did working. I have 2 jobs. one is the one where i go to work and make a good buck. my other job i dont work, my money works for me. i mean, think about it, if you save up enough to where your money is making you money its like life giving you a slave who goes and works all day long and gives you all the money they earn. haha.
people say money isnt the key to happiness, and i agree, but let me tell you, its definitely a part of having options in life. a nice big bank account relieves a tremendous amount of stress and gives you room to evolve as a human being.
priorities in life should be:
1) your career
2) your money
3) your physical health
4) women
and the irony to this is, the more you take care of #1, the easier it will be to take care of 2, 3 and 4.
when you look at folks who are having a hard time in their 40s, its usually because theyve doen things in reverse:
1) women
2) physical health
3) money
4) career
and the irony is that when you put women first they will usually detract and damage 2,3 and 4 in the long run
the reason for this is very very very simple. if you make bad choices in life, you pay the price down the road.
marry the wrong woman = headaches down the road
dont save your money = headaches down the road
dont get an education = headaches down the road
dont excercise = headaches down the road
dont evolve spirtually or psychologically = headaches down the road
however, if you work out once or twice a week, eat healthy, get an education, invest your money (also, live beneath your means so you have money to invest) and focus having a life purpose life just gets better as you get older.
so many people look at other people and think the grass is always greener. they fail to realize that the house and bmw are paid for with loans. the hot wife rarely gives it up and spends most of her time nagging - oh, and the hot wife is about 5 years away from having a cottage cheese ass.
for the younger guys reading this, if theres one piece of advice i can give, its take care of your career and your money. learn how to master these things and whatever happens with the other areas of your life, you will grow stronger as you get older.
im still in my early 30s and have over 6 figures saved up. i gotta tell you, nothing feels better than coming home from work and knowing that you actually made more money off the stock market that day than you did working. I have 2 jobs. one is the one where i go to work and make a good buck. my other job i dont work, my money works for me. i mean, think about it, if you save up enough to where your money is making you money its like life giving you a slave who goes and works all day long and gives you all the money they earn. haha.
people say money isnt the key to happiness, and i agree, but let me tell you, its definitely a part of having options in life. a nice big bank account relieves a tremendous amount of stress and gives you room to evolve as a human being.
priorities in life should be:
1) your career
2) your money
3) your physical health
4) women
and the irony to this is, the more you take care of #1, the easier it will be to take care of 2, 3 and 4.
when you look at folks who are having a hard time in their 40s, its usually because theyve doen things in reverse:
1) women
2) physical health
3) money
4) career
and the irony is that when you put women first they will usually detract and damage 2,3 and 4 in the long run
Tyrone Biggums
Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2004
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- 59
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- 0
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- 48
joekerr31 said:
edmond
Senior Don Juan
Great post by joekerr31, the only point that I disagree with is that your health should come before EVERYTHING. I have walked away from a few very good paying jobs when it became to dangerous for me and I felt that my time was running out.
Wealth in the bank is worthless, if you lay dying in the gutter.
Wealth in the bank is worthless, if you lay dying in the gutter.
well i agree and disagree.
BECAUSE you took care of your career you were able to walk away from your job and get another one, thereby protecting your health.
if you were 35 with a wife nad 2 kids and making minimum wage you wouldnt be able to walk away from a job that impacted your health.
my four areas of focus (and actually you could a whole bunch of other things to list as well, many of which would come before women) should always have a certain balance to them. anything taken to the extreme is bad for your health.
you sound like myself though. because ive taken care of my career i can get another job somewhere else any time i want. which then lets me set boundaries on what im willing to give toa company and what im not. which then allows me to take care of my health.
career first once that is taken care of, its easier to take care of the other stuff.
BECAUSE you took care of your career you were able to walk away from your job and get another one, thereby protecting your health.
if you were 35 with a wife nad 2 kids and making minimum wage you wouldnt be able to walk away from a job that impacted your health.
my four areas of focus (and actually you could a whole bunch of other things to list as well, many of which would come before women) should always have a certain balance to them. anything taken to the extreme is bad for your health.
you sound like myself though. because ive taken care of my career i can get another job somewhere else any time i want. which then lets me set boundaries on what im willing to give toa company and what im not. which then allows me to take care of my health.
career first
once that is taken care of, its easier to take care of the other stuff.
LJC
Banned
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- Mar 17, 2001
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Age depends a lot on where you see yourself going in life, at least for me anyway. It's all about outlook. I actually felt older when I was 25 than I do now because back then all I could think about was how the parties were over, how everyone is settling down, getting married, having kids, et cetera. I'm 33 years old, but now I'm feeling young for a few reasons.
1) I can't see myself getting married and having children anytime soon, and if I do happen to come around to that, I don't see it happening before I'm in my mid 40's. As of right now, I can wait 12 more years, have a kid when I'm 45 and still have them out of the house (or at least try) by the time I retire.
2) I have financial goals above and beyond my career alone, where I already make 75K a year and sock 10% of that away into 401K and other investments. Eventually, I want to make 100K, maybe 150K or more and be self-employed doing it. The idea of being single with no kids, making 6 figures and sitting on a sailboat with a handfull of hotties in the Gulf of Mexico sounds pretty damn sweet to me. Even if that doesn't actually happen, the very idea that I can be living like that at 40 or 45 years old keeps me feeling young and motivated today.
1) I can't see myself getting married and having children anytime soon, and if I do happen to come around to that, I don't see it happening before I'm in my mid 40's. As of right now, I can wait 12 more years, have a kid when I'm 45 and still have them out of the house (or at least try) by the time I retire.
2) I have financial goals above and beyond my career alone, where I already make 75K a year and sock 10% of that away into 401K and other investments. Eventually, I want to make 100K, maybe 150K or more and be self-employed doing it. The idea of being single with no kids, making 6 figures and sitting on a sailboat with a handfull of hotties in the Gulf of Mexico sounds pretty damn sweet to me. Even if that doesn't actually happen, the very idea that I can be living like that at 40 or 45 years old keeps me feeling young and motivated today.
how old you feel is relative to the amount of stress you are under and how comfortable you are with who you are and your life.
i personally feel much younger at 32 than i did at 18. i had a very stressful youth and my 20s, although less stressful, were still fairly unfufilling. it was only in my late 20s and early 30s that i really came into my own and found my groove if you will.
not only that, i believe that as life goes on i'll continue to feel younger and younger. haha. because i've become so good at handling life's stresses that i'm able to have a positive attitude in the face of just about any life struggle before me. and every year i keep banking more cash, i keep getting healthier, i keep getting prouder of my accomplishments, i keep believing in myself more and more, i keep seeing more of the spiritual side of life, etc.
i gotta tell you, life was pretty damn tough growing up, but looking back on it all, if that's what it took to lead me to where i am today, it was worth it.
im constantly in slight shock when i see people in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and older who still haven't found their groove and who still are living their lives based on petty principles - soap opera bullsh*t that gets them nowhere.
i was reading some philosophy the other day and this philosopher made a great point. he said the harder thing to master is the art of living well. the art of living well can take a lifetime and the art of dying well takes a lifetime as well. even the most advanced studies - medicine, law, science, etc. - they can be mastered in a a few years. heck, some people are so talented they can master them in their early twenties.
but living well, that is the greatest challenge in life and the one that takes the longest to master.
which i guess is why so many people never even bother to try.
and why most people die not really having a sense of what their life was all about.
i personally feel much younger at 32 than i did at 18. i had a very stressful youth and my 20s, although less stressful, were still fairly unfufilling. it was only in my late 20s and early 30s that i really came into my own and found my groove if you will.
not only that, i believe that as life goes on i'll continue to feel younger and younger. haha. because i've become so good at handling life's stresses that i'm able to have a positive attitude in the face of just about any life struggle before me. and every year i keep banking more cash, i keep getting healthier, i keep getting prouder of my accomplishments, i keep believing in myself more and more, i keep seeing more of the spiritual side of life, etc.
i gotta tell you, life was pretty damn tough growing up, but looking back on it all, if that's what it took to lead me to where i am today, it was worth it.
im constantly in slight shock when i see people in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and older who still haven't found their groove and who still are living their lives based on petty principles - soap opera bullsh*t that gets them nowhere.
i was reading some philosophy the other day and this philosopher made a great point. he said the harder thing to master is the art of living well. the art of living well can take a lifetime and the art of dying well takes a lifetime as well. even the most advanced studies - medicine, law, science, etc. - they can be mastered in a a few years. heck, some people are so talented they can master them in their early twenties.
but living well, that is the greatest challenge in life and the one that takes the longest to master.
which i guess is why so many people never even bother to try.
and why most people die not really having a sense of what their life was all about.
Yea I'm 30 now and I feel much older. I also feel much wiser and I'm now more equipped to get the best out of life but I can't help getting that feeling that I wish I had wised up to myself and my (false) beliefs earlier in life. I could have gotten much more out of my youth (although it wasn't too bad).
Age isn't just a number and anyone saying that it is in my experience are those trying desparately to hang on to their youth either because they feel they missed something or because they lived for the moment and are realising the party is ending. You can't continue to go to clubs/parties and concerts without noticing this as being 30 I'm certainly older than 90% of the people there and it's beginning to make me feel weird. I remember when I was 20 and goofing on those guys.
I'm not saying that you need to get married and settle down but the days of all-weekend parties are certainly over (except on special occasions ;-)
You can't roll-back time and you can't live in the past. You just have to accept that you are now the age you are and enjoy what that age has instead. Being 30 is just another chapter in my life, yes it will different but I'm looking forward to the challenges it will bring and unlike my 20s where I had more insecurities/inexperience/naievity I hope to take greater advantage of those.
But yea I wish I could go back to being 18 with the knowledge of life I have now.
Age isn't just a number and anyone saying that it is in my experience are those trying desparately to hang on to their youth either because they feel they missed something or because they lived for the moment and are realising the party is ending. You can't continue to go to clubs/parties and concerts without noticing this as being 30 I'm certainly older than 90% of the people there and it's beginning to make me feel weird. I remember when I was 20 and goofing on those guys.
I'm not saying that you need to get married and settle down but the days of all-weekend parties are certainly over (except on special occasions ;-)
You can't roll-back time and you can't live in the past. You just have to accept that you are now the age you are and enjoy what that age has instead. Being 30 is just another chapter in my life, yes it will different but I'm looking forward to the challenges it will bring and unlike my 20s where I had more insecurities/inexperience/naievity I hope to take greater advantage of those.
But yea I wish I could go back to being 18 with the knowledge of life I have now.
the past is dead only the future remains. hehe.
most people wish they could roll back the clock with the knowledge they had when they are older.
i try to look at it like this...
from 0-18 you're pretty much at the mercy of the system. parents, school, social peers, etc.
from 18-25 you get to live your way, and usually make a ton of mistakes
from 25-35 you're building the foundation on which the rest of your life will sit.
now from 35 until you die is where you should judge the quality of your life. for most of us, this will be a 50 year period. this period, in truth, is your life. the periods that came before were training periods for this chunk of your life.
i spent a few years wishing i had the wisdom i had now back when i was 18. but you know what, i look around and there are TONS of people 35+ who dont have the wisdom i have now.
and its a far far worse thing to 'mis' live your latter years than to mis-live your younger years. far far worse in my opinion.
the only exception i bring to this view is if you knock a chic up in your early twenties - because that's like launching a 1000 sh*t bombs on your future self.
most people wish they could roll back the clock with the knowledge they had when they are older.
i try to look at it like this...
from 0-18 you're pretty much at the mercy of the system. parents, school, social peers, etc.
from 18-25 you get to live your way, and usually make a ton of mistakes
from 25-35 you're building the foundation on which the rest of your life will sit.
now from 35 until you die is where you should judge the quality of your life. for most of us, this will be a 50 year period. this period, in truth, is your life. the periods that came before were training periods for this chunk of your life.
i spent a few years wishing i had the wisdom i had now back when i was 18. but you know what, i look around and there are TONS of people 35+ who dont have the wisdom i have now.
and its a far far worse thing to 'mis' live your latter years than to mis-live your younger years. far far worse in my opinion.
the only exception i bring to this view is if you knock a chic up in your early twenties - because that's like launching a 1000 sh*t bombs on your future self.
realsmoothie
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 30, 2006
- Messages
- 1,065
- Reaction score
- 9
I'm 32 and am having more fun than I ever did in my 20's, when I found there was too much PRESSURE to have fun.
Haha, that's a funny way to look at it. Using your outline here, I have to say that I have pretty much been doing money and career, then health, then women (socializing).joekerr31 said:
At 26, I'm way off the curve on the professional side of things, and I take good care of myself, but I have been greatly lagging in the social department.
That's the next big step for me, and it will be a whole new ball game since my financial side is so solid.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
how do you guys cope with the fact that you're getting older, not a spring chicken anymore?
I went to grad school and am surrounded by younger women. I went out with one of them last night. :yes:
I went to grad school and am surrounded by younger women. I went out with one of them last night. :yes:
BigDawg
Don Juan
I don't mind that I'm not a spring chicken anymore. I think I accomplished everything I wanted to as a young man. In my late 30s (I'm 38), I'm really trying to come up with some new goals; something else to shoot for in middle age.
I put my career first, second, third, fourth. In other words, it's all I have at the moment. No friends, no relationships, nothing except a job I really enjoy. It's challenging and rewarding and it's everything I've ever wanted in a job. Well, I started working at it about 4 months ago, and I had to move about 500 miles, but it was worth it.
But let me tell, that's no way to live in your 30's. I'd really like to have some balance in my life. In four months I've made no friends, although I get along great with my coworkers, but we've socialized only very little outside of work. I'd really like to get into a relationship, or at least start looking. But everywhere I look I see gorgeous women with blinding stones on their fingers (I work in a hospital). The only available ones are fat and ugly. Not what I'm looking for.
So, I'd like what's left of my 30s to be more than just a job. I'd really like to balance it out with something more.
I put my career first, second, third, fourth. In other words, it's all I have at the moment. No friends, no relationships, nothing except a job I really enjoy. It's challenging and rewarding and it's everything I've ever wanted in a job. Well, I started working at it about 4 months ago, and I had to move about 500 miles, but it was worth it.
But let me tell, that's no way to live in your 30's. I'd really like to have some balance in my life. In four months I've made no friends, although I get along great with my coworkers, but we've socialized only very little outside of work. I'd really like to get into a relationship, or at least start looking. But everywhere I look I see gorgeous women with blinding stones on their fingers (I work in a hospital). The only available ones are fat and ugly. Not what I'm looking for.
So, I'd like what's left of my 30s to be more than just a job. I'd really like to balance it out with something more.
WestCoaster
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 8, 2003
- Messages
- 2,029
- Reaction score
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Embrace the good times while they last. I'm in my 40's and have hit a social funk of late. I've moved from previous towns and left really good social situations to so-call improve my career. Some of it has worked, some of it hasn't. This one hasn't worked. I thought it was me; it's not.
Not to get too whiney here, but where I currently live isn't working socially for me. Professionally it's working well, they treat me well, I like my job. But after three years, socially it's been a train wreck, and trust me, I've tried every trick in the book not just for dating, but also to get friends. Sometimes you don't click with a place. Much of that is my age, most people have families the sort. But sometimes you just have to move or make a change.
Example: The other night I got great tickets to a college basketball game, as in down by the floor. A coach gave them to me. I called a gal I had dated off and on, she initially said yes but had to cancel (teen daughter had something that was up). Called another gal I dated a couple times, she had a meeting. Called another gal, she had to work. Called a guy friend, he wants to go -- wifey has girl's night out, he has to bail at the last second. I'm up to strike four now, I call another guy, he decides to go, cancels at the last minute, also.
Sure, this scenario didn't help my self-esteem, I'm not used to getting five or six strikes. Rather than mope, I've decided to try and get out of Dodge by New Year's if I can find a quality job. Sometimes places don't click, no matter what the effort. I've lived in many towns, this is the only one where I've been "rain checked" dozens of times, with no follow up on the rain check.
Embrace your friends, girlfriends, relationships, family while you can. Sometimes you land in the proverbial desert and it's not fun. Sorry for the "whine and cheese" ... had to get that off my chest. I was going postal the other night!
Not to get too whiney here, but where I currently live isn't working socially for me. Professionally it's working well, they treat me well, I like my job. But after three years, socially it's been a train wreck, and trust me, I've tried every trick in the book not just for dating, but also to get friends. Sometimes you don't click with a place. Much of that is my age, most people have families the sort. But sometimes you just have to move or make a change.
Example: The other night I got great tickets to a college basketball game, as in down by the floor. A coach gave them to me. I called a gal I had dated off and on, she initially said yes but had to cancel (teen daughter had something that was up). Called another gal I dated a couple times, she had a meeting. Called another gal, she had to work. Called a guy friend, he wants to go -- wifey has girl's night out, he has to bail at the last second. I'm up to strike four now, I call another guy, he decides to go, cancels at the last minute, also.
Sure, this scenario didn't help my self-esteem, I'm not used to getting five or six strikes. Rather than mope, I've decided to try and get out of Dodge by New Year's if I can find a quality job. Sometimes places don't click, no matter what the effort. I've lived in many towns, this is the only one where I've been "rain checked" dozens of times, with no follow up on the rain check.
Embrace your friends, girlfriends, relationships, family while you can. Sometimes you land in the proverbial desert and it's not fun. Sorry for the "whine and cheese" ... had to get that off my chest. I was going postal the other night!
ER!C L!VE
Master Don Juan
This is your reality. My reality is that I bang more younger girls now than I did when I was 22-29. My body looks great. I don't need to workout as hard now because my muscle memory, supplements and diet are dialed in. Just 30 min 3x week. My financial house is in order and is growing.miguel t said:
I don't think in terms of "I'm getting older, I can't do this or that"...and I get pist off when people tell me I'm too old to do something..
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
It's normally the kids that aren't nearly as established who believe that age is a major limitation. They just haven't realized how to live (which comes with time and experience).ER!C L!VE said:
Scrumtulescence
Master Don Juan
ha, what a thread. I recently turned 25 and just realized I'm now old enough for this board, lol. I know 25 is generally considered pretty damn young, but I still feel as though there's a whole world of experiences that are now out of my reach, now that I'm getting later into my 20s. I spent my teen/college years depressed, antisocial, shy and with little to no self worth, so I pretty much missed out on it all. Ya know, the whole no responsibilities, dorm life, house parties every weekend, wild experimental fun kind of life, and the regret of missing out on that is like a knot in my stomach that I can never untie. Now most people my age are settling down and jumping into careers, and I can barely even think of doing either. So if I want to live a happy life now, I can't exactly take on life like most mid-late 20s people would. I feel like I missed out on my youth, and I'm afraid of getting older before it's far too late to do any of the youthful stuff I want to do.
But, I'm trying to accept it, and deal with it. I'm exercising, eating right, and taking dietary supplements, to hopefully extend my physical youth as much as possible. And I'm trying to figure out what I can do with the next few/several years of my life that will allow me to somewhat make up for my lack of youthful experiences while still working towards something in the future. Needless to say, it's really hard. But hopefully ten years from now when I'm in my mid 30s I'll be more content with my life than I am right now.
But, I'm trying to accept it, and deal with it. I'm exercising, eating right, and taking dietary supplements, to hopefully extend my physical youth as much as possible. And I'm trying to figure out what I can do with the next few/several years of my life that will allow me to somewhat make up for my lack of youthful experiences while still working towards something in the future. Needless to say, it's really hard. But hopefully ten years from now when I'm in my mid 30s I'll be more content with my life than I am right now.