Guys opinion of this ?

[mocha2010]

I am a girl, I dated a man awhile back and we kept in touch at his initiation. We went out a few times and he initiated sex but he said he could not date me because of his small childs mother, and she would try to take the baby away. So I said no to going further sexually until he could take care of his situation.

Nevertheless, I dont remember him paying for anything for me, except a few drinks. When we went to dinner , we went dutch. Furthermore, we went out in groups most of the time. He said he liked me alot and wanted me to be his future girlfriend.

Many people tell me i am beautiful and could be a model easily.

Fast forward we are working together on a job he previously kept in touch by text, email and facebook. But before we started working together after we got into an arguement he kicked me off his facebook page about another woman and never added me back, but kept in touch with me by text, email, etc. OVER FOUR YEARS TIME.

So we are workiing together and he is nice at first. But then he grows cold, moody and distant. Next thing I know I see him going to coffee alone with this girl, then I discover in the same day he brought her back lunch. This girl sits right next to me at work. Furthermore, they are laughing and joking in the kitchen!

So what to make of this? He just totally cutt me off and ignored me, all of a sudden rude behavior for a sudden girl at work. I really liked this guy and was hoping we would get together after keeping in touch for so long.

This girl is the total opposite of me, funky, streetwise and not very fashionable, though she is pretty but what could have made him switch up like that all of a sudden and he got sooo mean and nasty toward me? Then ignore me to talk to this girl?

He could have stepped up with me and he did not make an affirmative move but made one so easily with a girl he just met. ???

 

[Zerro]

This guy was probably lying about the kid thing and since you weren't giving him what he wanted he moved on and found a girl who was willing to.

 

[Aaron B]

my opinion is that this is not the appropriate forum for you

 

[Mike32ct]

I am a girl, I dated a man awhile back and we kept in touch at his initiation. We went out a few times and he initiated sex but he said he could not date me because of his small childs mother, and she would try to take the baby away. So I said no to going further sexually until he could take care of his situation.

He just wanted sex.

Nevertheless, I dont remember him paying for anything for me, except a few drinks. When we went to dinner , we went dutch. Furthermore, we went out in groups most of the time. He said he liked me alot and wanted me to be his future girlfriend.

But he would never actually "break up" with his so called baby momma, if indeed he did have a relationship with her.

This is a men's forum. I'm only answering this as a courtesy. But I tell all the guys here that you should never believe someone who claims that they will break up with their significant other to be with you. It's the oldest lie in the book that people use to justify "cheating."

Many people tell me i am beautiful and could be a model easily.

K. Women tell me I'm a nice guy and I'll make some girl really happy some day. For the past 20 years, they've been telling me that I'll meet her "when I LEAST EXPECT IT." I'm optimistic about the future

Fast forward we are working together on a job he previously kept in touch by text, email and facebook. But before we started working together after we got into an arguement he kicked me off his facebook page about another woman and never added me back, but kept in touch with me by text, email, etc. OVER FOUR YEARS TIME.

That's a long time.

So we are workiing together and he is nice at first. But then he grows cold, moody and distant. Next thing I know I see him going to coffee alone with this girl, then I discover in the same day he brought her back lunch. This girl sits right next to me at work. Furthermore, they are laughing and joking in the kitchen!

So what to make of this? He just totally cutt me off and ignored me, all of a sudden rude behavior for a sudden girl at work. I really liked this guy and was hoping we would get together after keeping in touch for so long.

It's hard to say. It could be a number of things...

1. He thinks he's in friendzone and has no chance with you and is bitter towards you because of it.

2. He thinks you rejected him somehow.

3. He's not really interested in her but is using her to make you jealous.

4. Or he's concerned about making the other girl jealous.

Honestly, I'm just guessing. I don't think we have enough information.

This girl is the total opposite of me, funky, streetwise and not very fashionable, though she is pretty but what could have made him switch up like that all of a sudden and he got sooo mean and nasty toward me? Then ignore me to talk to this girl?

Most men don't care if a woman is fashionable or not. I love fashion and like to dress up. Women tell me they like a well dressed man. Then they call me gay because of it.

Anyway, this guy has no other prospects. He is taking the path of least resistance by putting the moves on someone he know from work. He considers his relationship with you a lost cause and/or doesn't want to restart any past drama.


Giving this more thought, I would say he's very uncomfortable with the idea that you two are working together. He might still keep in touch, but consider you an "ex" of sorts. So it's weird for him to have to work together with you. Again, it's very hard to say. If I had to take my best guess, that would be it.

He could have stepped up with me and he did not make an affirmative move but made one so easily with a girl he just met. ???

It's been four years. He wants to "let sleeping dogs lie." While he could still be attracted to you, odds are he wants to leave the past in the past. He went from essential friendly professional courtesy to "Uh oh. We're working together now?"

Now he's gonna create some more drama by dating in the workplace.

 

[mocha2010]

I'm always skeptical when a "girl" posts a thread on SS wanting advice from men about men.

He likes the other girl now. It's that simple. You gave him sex, so he's done. He lost interest. You need to do the same.

In my opinion, the guy sounds like a player. I like him!

We NEVER slept together no sex, it could be past sexual tension. And he was acting mean and angry with me. Maybe he feels I sexually rejected him?

 

[mocha2010]

It's been four years. He wants to "let sleeping dogs lie." While he could still be attracted to you, odds are he wants to leave the past in the past. He went from essential friendly professional courtesy to "Uh oh. We're working together now?"

Now he's gonna create some more drama by dating in the workplace.

Thanks for this answer it is the best ive read so far and it really helped me:rockon: I am an ex of sorts because we never consumated (slept together) the relationship.

 

[mocha2010]

I'm always skeptical when a "girl" posts a thread on SS wanting advice from men about men.

He likes the other girl now. It's that simple. You gave him sex, so he's done. He lost interest. You need to do the same.

In my opinion, the guy sounds like a player. I like him!

The thing is if he wanted to "properly date" and not just cheat or have the baby mama on the side I would have slept with him. But I m not going to be anyone's side piece. I have to be number one, :rock:

 

[mocha2010]

my opinion is that this is not the appropriate forum for you

I think this is the BEST forum for me. Because its full of guys and this is a situation concerning a guy (player for sure) and myself (female) who wants a male perspective on the matter.

 

[mocha2010]

It's been four years. He wants to "let sleeping dogs lie." While he could still be attracted to you, odds are he wants to leave the past in the past. He went from essential friendly professional courtesy to "Uh oh. We're working together now?"

Now he's gonna create some more drama by dating in the workplace.

I agree but it been four years because he always said he was taking care of his baby mama drama and getting custody of his son, so that took awhile to settle.
The son was just born when he stated he liked me and I knew him before his girlfriend got pregnant.

 

[mocha2010]

This guy was probably lying about the kid thing and since you weren't giving him what he wanted he moved on and found a girl who was willing to.

I agree , he was using the kid story to have an easy non-committed relationship. But he incorrectly assumed I wanted to be second best. I dont mind being second to a kid but not to the baby mama too.

 

[roulette11]

The guy only wanted sex with you. I'm being dead honest here... if you are a good looking, fun and interesting girl why the hell do you want to be with some loser who's got a child with another woman and who's going out with a few other chicks. He sounds like a total douche. Value yourself and go out with a guy that doesn't give you stress, doesn't have baby mommas etc etc.

I don't know why people like drama in their life. You have the choice to forget this dude/douche and find someone decent with no drama!

 

[ryanjevo]

Any time guys say that the DJ-like attitude of not being a needy nice guy is false, we can point to this thread.

Because you care enough to find this forum and inquire.

I would suggest just move on. Or make a move if you really want him.

But I agree that he just wanted sex and once he realized it wasn't going to happen, buh bye.

The guy only wanted sex with you. I'm being dead honest here... if you are a good looking, fun and interesting girl why the hell do you want to be with some loser who's got a child with another woman and who's going out with a few other chicks. He sounds like a total douche. Value yourself and go out with a guy that doesn't give you stress, doesn't have baby mommas etc etc.

I don't know why people like drama in their life. You have the choice to forget this dude/douche and find someone decent with no drama!

Exactly, further proof that chicks don't make sense.

DON'T DATE A JERK. DATE A DON JUAN.

 

[Aaron B]

I think this is the BEST forum for me. Because its full of guys and this is a situation concerning a guy (player for sure) and myself (female) who wants a male perspective on the matter.

we don't have any experience dating men, and you are asking for advice about dating men

or maybe you just want us to tell you things that will make you feel better i guess

 

[DJnoob]

aaaaaaa

 

[mocha2010]

The guy only wanted sex with you. I'm being dead honest here... if you are a good looking, fun and interesting girl why the hell do you want to be with some loser who's got a child with another woman and who's going out with a few other chicks. He sounds like a total douche. Value yourself and go out with a guy that doesn't give you stress, doesn't have baby mommas etc etc.

I don't know why people like drama in their life. You have the choice to forget this dude/douche and find someone decent with no drama!

Thanks, you are right

 

[Robert28]

The guy only wanted sex with you. I'm being dead honest here... if you are a good looking, fun and interesting girl why the hell do you want to be with some loser who's got a child with another woman and who's going out with a few other chicks. He sounds like a total douche. Value yourself and go out with a guy that doesn't give you stress, doesn't have baby mommas etc etc.

I don't know why people like drama in their life. You have the choice to forget this dude/douche and find someone decent with no drama!

why do most women date the losers they do, knowing full well the guy is a loser to begin with? answer: women are terrible decision makers. they think with emotion rather then being rational. for example, you're walking along in the woods. all of a sudden you see a rattlesnake coiled up rattling away. you think to yourself "I know this snake is very poisonous and will bit me if I mess with it. oh what the hell, let me pick it up and play with it!". All of a sudden the rattlesnake bites you and you think "oh my lawd why did this happen to me! lawdy have mercy I don't deserve this!". the fact is, is that your stupidness got you in trouble, you knew better yet you did it anyways. that's how women are when it comes to choosing a man most of the time. Like Ron White said, "you can't fix stupid".