Guys, I need help.. I don't know what to do...

[Korrupt]

It brings me to tears just thinking about this.. Especially since I'm only 21.

Bottom line: I have trouble getting an erection when I'm about to have sex. I know it has something to do with nerves and anxiety, but that's always going to be there..

I went out with a couple hot girls and had a chance at the end of the night for a threesome, but I couldn't get and stay hard... Yay guys! Thanks for helping me hone my seduction skills! I can do it, I can get women! Now I just need my f*cking d!ck to work!

I had a lot to drink but it was in like a 5-7 hour period and felt pretty much sober when this "opportunity" arose. During the teasing before we got into bed (just kissing and touching) I was getting hard, but when the threesome opportunity came I was hard, harder, softer, softer, soft.. Then after about 5 minutes I started to feel sick to my stomach (a mix of the sheer embarrassment and the beer, liquor and 7-eleven sandwich I guess).

Another thing is that I had already been out with one of the girls and actually really like her. We connected, emotionally and physically, something I hadn't found in a woman like.. Ever (leading to me now being infatuated). Which makes this whole situation suck even worse..

As she drove me back to my car I decided I could either be completely silent and say nothing or take the sensitive route. I ask her if there's anything she wants to say to me. "To be honest, I'm mortified by the whole situation.." "And by the way, that's not who I am. I'm never the girl to do something crazy like that." We drive back to my car and I tell her I want to talk for a minute. I say, "what happened back there has.. Never happened before and I'm gonna be honest, I don't usually say this to a girl, but I actually kinda like you. I'd like to see you again, but it's up to you." She says "What do you mean it's up to me?" "If I wasn't interested in seeing you again I'd just tell you." I tell her that if she's interested to hit ME up. A little more talk, we make out a few different times in between and one last time before I step out. Couple lovey-dovey texts from her on the way home.. "I like you too, Korrupt " "Hope to see you soon too, looking forward to it "

Though it all seemed genuine, the straight up "I don't play games, I'd tell you if I weren't interested in seeing you again," the multiple short, passionate make outs before I left that she initiated, the lovey-dovey texts, my gut feeling tells me that she was just doing all of it because she understood that my pride was crushed and that I was extremely embarrassed so she just wanted to make me feel better. I know that a lot of things happen and it makes you stronger, harder, but what lesson do I have to learn from this? How is this going to make me a better, bigger, mentally touger man? I mean I've been through rejection, embarrassment and disappointment in my life, but this is just on another whole level.. And it was MY fault!

So instead of having an awesome and possibly once in a lifetime experience very early in my life, satisfying two women and them satisfying me, then waking up with both of them in my arms and feeling like a god with my confidence soaring, I'm sitting here typing this, feeling like so much less of a man...

And back on the topic of my ED.. Now that I think about it I've had trouble getting and staying hard with just about every girl I've ever f*cked for the first time. I'm thinking of going to the doctor or talking to my dad about it or something... What the hell should I do? I've been wanting to be successful with women so bad for so long, but when it finally happens I have a problem like this.

 

[Groovy]

IDK, I'm no doctor. But from what I read, it'd be cool if you reduced\stop drinking (That probably messed you up bad) and masturbating for a few weeks. Nothing wrong with masturbating, on the contrary, but your body is ****ed up as it is. (You have that infatuation that tells me that too). You got to heal... It'll all be good! Just be patient! I'd stop watching porn too (at least reduce it) for a while. Who's with me on that 1? Comments welcome, even from people who are just lurking and have no accounts, join in.

One huge mess up in my opinion is that you made out with her after you couldn't even get hard. I have in no way scientific backup for this, but I think that there are huge hormonal changes associated with what you did. You should have gone home to rest, not tire yourself out even more. You may ask: How is that going to tire my body? Well, your senses were all active for one, (touching, smelling, etc) and so forth. Plus it aint cool for the girl, you probably weren't feeling that well so you should have just gone home. Class. Just IMO, you may disagree or not, but well what's done is done, next time you can still do better so don't worry anyways.

It totally sucks, I know! But in the end of the day, I think you win, because even so the girl seems to like you! That's great. Yet, your gut tells you to make her REALLY like you, you got to be your BEST self! You got to turn some things around!! Then the REAL fun is going to start. It's gonna be worth it. It'll be funky.

What else can you learn? I'd say that you got to learn how to chill man. You know you are still 21. That means you are still young and your body is great to regenerate. So why are you freaking out? That's the most terrible sign of them all IMO. If you were my son I'd be throwing you out of the window I tell you. One thing is to recognize that the situation is terrible, that is right, I agree, it is. Another thing is to keep in mind that you can IMPROVE! And it's gonna be fine. So don't be like that. Be strong! That goes a long way too, trust me bro. You seem like a cool dude, I am pretty sure you'll be back on your feet in no time.

BTW: Props on getting those chicks, dawg.

 

[Drdeee]

It's a brain problem, not d!ck problem. I'm sure you can get it up when by yourself with a porn or without - if no then go see a doctor.

First thing you have to do is stop masturbating. Completely stop. There is a satisfaction in sexual tension, and you kill that satisfaction with your right hand, that contributes to anxiety and ability to let go. Think of it this way, if your brain is sexually satisfied, then why the fak get it up next to a hot girl, no need too, you already satisfied yourself.

Second start working out. Low body fat and muscle mass means testosterone, while fat and inactivity means estrogen. Your brain reacts to both. Ever heard of chemical castration?

If first and second don't do it's job after couple months, take Viagra.


P.S. I know how it feels. Kinda wanna cry.

 

[Korrupt]

Thanks for the encouragement, guys. I appreciate the friendly and motivational words. And about the making out part.. You might be right, Groovy, but it wasn't like a huge however many minute long makeout, it was just a few kisses during the conversation, which SHE went in for/initiated 2/3 times.

P.S. I know how it feels. Kinda wanna cry.

Haha already have! Not gonna lie, this took a toll on me. Especially because I actually care about this girl (unfortunately), unlike the last however many that I've dated..

 

[Korrupt]

Got laid last night.. Even though I felt like complete sh!t all day yesterday I went to see a girl who I've been talking to but have never actually hung out with. She wasn't even that great looking and I got hard quickly and easily. Damn, I'm never drinking again...

Also got a text from the girl I've mentioned in this topic asking "did anything about last night bother you? (besides feeling ill of course) Just curious "

Not sure how I should take it..

It's a shame because I seem to have other options (got a text an hour again from a girl saying "it's a good day to get laid, don't you think?) but the only girl I actually care about seeing is the one in the OP. Fuuuuuuuuuck I don't know how I let it get like this!

 

[Drdeee]

They think if you can't get it up that means you don't like them / don't find them beautiful. Call her, ask her out, tell her to wear something flirty with black stalkings and heels.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Viagra is known as a party drug for a reason. $20 a pill, but 1/4 to 1/2 a pill works just fine.

 

[Korrupt]

Met up with another girl tonight, had sex, and left. It was fun during the adventure and good to prove to myself that I'm not just some less-then-a-man limp-d!ck, but afterwards those feelings of infatuation just crept back up.

They think if you can't get it up that means you don't like them / don't find them beautiful. Call her, ask her out, tell her to wear something flirty with black stalkings and heels.

She's leaving Thursday to go out of town for a week (work), but I took your advice and texted her anyways.

"We should go out before you leave for your trip."

*2 hours later*

"Sorry for the delay, at work blah blah. I don't know how to make that happen, this week before I leave is nuts."

"Tomorrow night, just you and me, wear something flirty, downtown annapolis, a little breaking benjamin in the car and we see where the night takes us."

"That sounds shockingly like a come on "

"Maybe just a little bit "

"You don't need me to get laid cutie "

"That's flattering, but I'm not taking you out just to get laid."

"I'm skeptical "

"Still huh? If all I wanted from you was sex I probably wouldn't still be pursuing you. So are you down for tomorrow night or scared you might actually have fun three times in a row with the same guy? "

"Lemme see what I can do, but I can't make any promises because I have a ton of work to finish before I go "

"Gotcha. Hit me up tomorrow."

Was a little weirded out by the whole her acting like she thinks I'm JUST trying to f*ck her, but we'll see what happens. I'm also trying to set something else up for tomorrow night in the (unfortunate but more than likely) event that she says no.

Viagra is known as a party drug for a reason. $20 a pill, but 1/4 to 1/2 a pill works just fine.

Would be very nice to have some Viagra for a crazy night out that might turn into a sex fest, but being a student with no real job, $20 a pill would be breaking the bank, especially if I can avoid limp-d!ckness by just not having more than 1-3 drinks. Plus, I don't know where to buy the stuff without a prescription..

 

[Korrupt]

Just a little update (mainly to keep ME from going crazy), she sent this at 3:30 AM:

"Gah.. Awake. Urg"

When I woke up I sent her "Hey, Miss Insomniac, just got your text.. Manage to get any sleep?"

No response from her all day. At first I figured she'd be sleeping, but now it seems like I'm just being ignored. Not very hard to send a text saying yes or no. Guess I'm going to see my backup plan girl..

EDIT: Saw the other girl (my first ever black girl). We f*cked in my car but it wasn't that great and she was a horrible kisser. Pretty much felt like sh!t after and am feeling like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster. Funny how a year ago I'd be in heaven having sex three nights in a row, but right now I just feel like sh!t because the only girl I'm interested in is driving me nuts..

 

[HoneyHitter]

Dammit dude!! You must be new here. You killed every bit of attraction that girl felt for you by telling her you "really" liked her after you failed her and left her feeling like a slut.

If you'd read any of the threads around here you would've known better. You would at least created an opportunity to rebound.

But no. You just made it worse by going on BEGGING her for pity f*ck until you completely turned her off and made her ignore you. (She'll try to keep acting "nice" to you, but nothing you say can change her mind about you)

FORGET ABOUT THIS GIRL.

Meaning: don't call/text/visit her again.

 

[Korrupt]

Dammit dude!! You must be new here. You killed every bit of attraction that girl felt for you by telling her you "really" liked her after you failed her and left her feeling like a slut.

If you'd read any of the threads around here you would've known better. You would at least created an opportunity to rebound.

But no. You just made it worse by going on BEGGING her for pity f*ck until you completely turned her off and made her ignore you. (She'll try to keep acting "nice" to you, but nothing you say can change her mind about you)

FORGET ABOUT THIS GIRL.

Meaning: don't call/text/visit her again.

No, I'm not new here, and no, this isn't a topic about getting friend-zoned after telling a girl I like her way too soon. I know it's "bad" to tell a girl your feelings, but the emotional, connection building route seemed like the only way to go in the situation. And pity f*ck? Where in my text did I beg her for a pity f*ck? All I did was ask her out.. What are you reading?

Funny thing is I guess you never know. You could actually be right..

And usually if I don't give a f*ck about a girl and I didn't get a text back from her I WOULD just delete her number. In this case I'm going to be a little more persistent (even though I foresee the end result being bad, I still feel like I have to try). Going to send one more text this afternoon saying "Hey *name*, I guess last night didn't work out, huh? Have fun in Atlanta. Hit me up when you get back and we can rock out in Annapolis!" Or maybe I should just forget that and wait till next week when she gets back to text her?

Ahahahaha! Oh how I'm setting myself up for heartbreak! I really don't need this in my life and I promised myself I'd never let my feelings for a girl get out of hand again.. Wish I could go back in time and change things back to the way they were before last Saturday happened...