Guys i have a major problem, please read!!

[DasaniWater]

Hey guys, sorry for making a thread, i gues the last one i made was useless. This one is a major problem, because it affects me every single day. Also, forgive me for double posting in other threads, i thought id post it in don juan, instead of high school and stick to it, but no one even replied there. prolly thought i was a kid. Anyways, please guys i really would appreciate your help, this is very important to me.

It has been lowering my self confidence when i talk to my Gf on the phone, which is weird, or even in person. I find myself being uninteresting to her, taking things too personally perhaps. For example, she ignores me and responds every 4 seconds or so, while shes chatting away to some other dude on AIM. i asked her what the deal is, she replys, "we have nothing to talk about" , or "you arent talking". IT really makes me go nuts...

Ive been dating my gf for about 8 months, ever since the 2nd month she often said "Talk to me", when I WAS TALKING TO HER, but apparently what i talk about isnt interesting.. she says i talk about weird things, which i find weird. I often annoy her on the phone when i ask her too many questions, it irritates her, when im only trying to talk to her about something. I need help seriously.

Well typically when me and my gf talk on the phone, it lasts for about 5-10 minutes, maybe 20 if im doing good and i actually start making her laugh about things and im being ****y etc. But i cant pull that off forever.

I just wish i could be a natural and haefv things flow smoothly, and havve us talking for an hour or so and not even know it.

I feel like im boring to her. because i know her ex bf and her would talk on the phone every night, for HOURS.

i mean my own gf who ive been dating for 8 months, i talk to on the phone and she gets off about 3 or 4 mionutes later saying , well we have nothing to talk about, or well, you arent really talking to me. Someone please help???

Well to let yopu know when i talk to her. I talk about her day, what she did, what shes doing now, i tell her about my day (which is boring as hell, and killing me ever more)..

Its not like shes actually being that great and interesting herself, like i gotta do all the work?

Can someone please help me out, and give me some advices how to hold a conversation. I often found her putting her friends or anything just minor instead of actually talking to me. I remember we went to the theater, and she asked this guy friend of hers to come along, and she was just talking to him the whole time!!!!

I'm really tired of it... can someone please help me out?

thanks a lot..


***Update*****

I called her once before this, we fought a little bit, she said i was being an ******* and a jerk and being sarcastic / asking stupid questions, and i wasnt, anyways she hung up on me.

Anyways, i call her 2 hours later, she picks up.

Her: Hello
Me: Hey
Her: Hey
Me: Did you call me?
Her: yeah a long time ago
Me: Oh, sorry my phone was off the hook.
Her: Oh
Me: so what you been up 2??
her: Nothing playing,,
Me: Oh thats cool, is that ur sister in the background?
Her: yeah
Me: Sounds like shes havin a lot of fun
Her: Yeah
*she sounds like shes too busy playing her stupid video game*
Me: so what game you playing?
Her: Mario something
Me: you guys always play that game, dont u have anything else?
Her: Its the best game in the world
Me: laughs, oh really, i never played that game (i dnot play system games, only PC)
Me: Ill be there in 20 minutes
Her: What?? No
Me: WHY? your parents are gone
Her: you cant
*i already knew, she cant have guys over especially since her brother is there from new york*
Me: So whos winning?
..............
.............
............
Her: Ill call you later, bye
Me: All right, *click*


Yeah so bascailly thats it. obviously has no respect for me. thanks for pointing that out.

anyone know what i should do about this, next time she calls?? How i could of improved this convo? Was i too boring??

please help

thanks

 

[PeterNorthisawesome]

wow that was lame... personally talking to chicks on the phone is a big no no I only used it to set up dates or just to meet up, keep it short and simple. Why don't you invite her over to your house so you can decide what to do with her and that stupid brother of hers won't bother you.

 

[dannowillbookem]

yeah you were obviously playing second fiddle to what...mario? a fat sweaty italian plummer? c'mon man have some fucckin pride

 

[REJ-]

You could easily just leave her and move on. But it's up to you to decide if you want to.

 

[DasaniWater]

thanks a lot you guys for your help

Yeah, i dont know. i feel like the chemistry between us isnt there anymore. shes not even crazy as much as she use to be about me anymore, whenever she has the oppertunity to be with me she kind of lets it slide, even the oppertunity for us to fool around, she doesnt. shes not as sexual as she use to be thats for sure.... she wont even let me touch her anymore like i use to be able to . . . . . . ..

 

[steroidsrule]

Yeah, i dont know. i feel like the chemistry between us isnt there anymore. shes not even crazy as much as she use to be about me anymore, whenever she has the oppertunity to be with me she kind of lets it slide, even the oppertunity for us to fool around, she doesnt. shes not as sexual as she use to be thats for sure.... she wont even let me touch her anymore like i use to be able to . . . . . . ..

umm.. i hope im not the only one that thinks this but.. uhh.. NEXT!!!!

p.s - stop caring so much about what she thinks and feels and start asking what you want from the relationship... and yeah the 2nd fiddle to mario isnt helping either

 

[oakraiderz2]

umm.. i hope im not the only one that thinks this but.. uhh.. NEXT!!!!

Youre not, i fully agree.

Dont blame yourself for whats going on. You both are responsible. Accept it, move on and learn from it.

 

[DasaniWater]

forgive me guys....

you're all right. i dont know why i let her treat me like this, i mean she says she loves me blah blah blah, 3 months ago i stopped giving a hell what she said, and i judgd by her actions. i think about it, and i ask myself, is this really love? sure she lost her virginity to me, sure she hott as hell, but those things aside.

if i picture her in a ugly ass body. and forgot about all the sex we had... am i whipped? do i really love her? the way she treated me, if she was an ugly one, i would dump her in a second......... but i put up with this , all her games, all her controlling crap she does with me.... but now i mean she doesnt even act like shes my gf... for instance, i called her 10 minutes ago, she was in bed going to sleep, as a test, i said, talk dirty to me, she says "ewww no"... then i think about the past, when we first we out, how she would masterbate on the phone to me and talk dirty to me, now .. she woudnt do that in a million years, did she truely change, or does she just not find that attraction for me anymore?


i mean seriously, i cant even kiss her. she usually moves her head and crap. and i try to play it cool and all, i try not to bed for a kiss, but then sometimes i find myself doing that :S

i mean i dont want to act needy or desperate, so i act as if i dont mind if she doesnt want to fool around, or doesnt let me kiss her, or doesnt let me touch her, i act cool like its no big deal, but to me it actually is. she never was like this with me before...

but is it right to dump her cus of it? will it make me seem like an *******? although i dont feel like im getting any love from her at all, a simple ****ing kiss with some toung too much to ask for? to her it is. . . all she does is fight with me about crap that isnt true, she doesnt trust me about anything... she walks all over me pretty much , treats me like crap, shes a total hypocrit.

and anther thing, i always find myself making the same mistakse over and over. when i ever went over to her house when her parents were out of town, i would come over, do some four play with her for about 40 minutes, tease her, eat her ***** out for like 20 minutes basically make her feel amazing, then shes had all she can take, and she pulls her pants on, and basically falls asleep. I GET NOTHING IN RETURN. im so damn stupid. ive made this mistake with her about 8 nights.. oh yeah, shes definetly changed, last 2 nights i spent the night over, after i gave her what she want, she threw my shoes out of her house and made me leave.... in the middle of the night.......... i was sooo mad....... it happened to me twice , in a row, **** im dumb to let this happen to me more than once

it gets worse. last few timse i spent the night, after making her feel amazing, this time actually got some sex, SHE ALWAYS STOPS HALF WAYS OR 2 OR 3 MINUTES LATER (guilt tripping?) and doesnt want to do it anymore.. and i left there hanging, so basicall last time i ****ed her very hard and had myself *** like in a minute. i pulled out. but she felt great, she was prancin around, which is a first, usually she just doesnt wanna do it anymore and wants to go to sleep. but anyways, she never sucks me off, EVER, she actually did on prom night, then she told me to lay down , sat on top of me, and rode me for 20 seconds and stopped. icant handle that crap. i mean it makes me wonder.... hmm how is it going to be when we're married, if its like this now? i must be stupid for thinking we're going to be together forever, it would be hell for me

i hope to god she isnt pregnant....... i dont think i love her anymore

 

[S1NN3R]

sure she hott as hell

Send me her number, I'll drive over there and chat with her for you, see what's going on, why she's acting like this, that sort of thing.....

You trust me, right?? :crackup:

 

[j8snx1]

i think i may be pretty late to say or influence your decision, but let me give you my 2 cents on this one.

Your mistake(s):

Pretty blatant haha I know, but I've been there as well, and it is HORRIBLE! But to be straight-forward..

1) you're being pretty boring. painful, but true. if all you're asking is "how are you?" "what are you doing?" type of things, conversations die out QUICK! I suggest you read the conversation section of the DJ Bible.

ex of what you can do:
You: hey what are you doing over there?
Her: oh my sister and I are playing Mario.
You: Mario?! And you're HOW old? Sheesh I need to spread the news about this; so much for your social status
***with a joking tone of course!***
You: So what else do you do for fun other than sit on your ass and play mario all day?
Her: I like to go __________.
You: Well my dear, let's go do ___________ on ____________. i guarantee itll be a lot more fun than mario
Her: Alright!
You: Okay cool I'll see you later
*CLICK*

Simple, yes?

2) Don't worry about how her past BF's talked on the phone for hours and hours. Although they can build rapport, you're a lot better off talking for hours and hours in PERSON. WHY?!?! You save a lot of money from phone bills, you actually get to catch up on sleep if ur talking late at night, AND you also come off as a social person since you're not talking to her like a chump for 20,000 hours but instead out there in the world doing something productive. You'll come across an hour+ conversation with her soon or later; try phone sex lol. it works well


Her mistake(s):

yes believe it! shes got her faults for the "boring" convos too!

1) If she really gave a f*ck about the relationship, she'd actually take the liberty of bringing up something worth talking about in the conversation!!! What are you my friend, an entertaining meat with eyes? I mean sure, the whole DJ information says be funny/****y/interesting in what you say, but cmon, its a RELATIONSHIP! It's MUTUAL...not one-sided. you cant be the only one with things to say...otherwise your "gf" either has no brain or isn't interested. (no offense)



*****I just read your last post. MOVE ON BRO! She's lost interest, and my recent relationship was broken up because of that same reason. She's lost interest, and the best you can do for yourself right now is to break it up with her, and MOVE ON! Go back to your social life, patch things up with friends that you've ignored, go hit the gym, go back to working towards your career goals, etc etc. enjoy life and just dont give a f*ck about the girl anymore! All the signs are pointing towards NO, so to hell with her bro; at least you got to hit that. DUMP HER ASAP! She's only hindering YOUR growth!

When she sees that you're enjoying life to the fullest, even without her, she'll regret losing you, and if she doesnt, your positive attitude will attract FAR GREATER women!

 

[Fender]

It sounds all very painful to me Dasani...as a third person, it's easy for me to say Next. A girlfriend that won't even let you kiss her??? What the heck is that?!?!?

But obviously, its different for you- you're attached (sex can do that to a person).

Honestly though, I don't think one or two better conversations will help revive your relationship. But in the future, follow PeterNorthisawesome's advice- don't talk on the phone so often. Use it only to set up dates.

Btw, if you really want a conversation tip, heres the best one I can give ya- either talk EMOTIONS or be PLAYFUL. Examples:

Emotion: How to you FEEL about... yadaya

Playful: Do you think your dad can beat my dad up?...yadaya

Keep in mind playful doesn't necesarily mean funny. Anything new and wacky can be playful.

But honestly, you should really think about dumping her. This paragraph says it all:

i dont feel like im getting any love from her at all, a simple ****ing kiss with some toung too much to ask for? to her it is. . . all she does is fight with me about crap that isnt true, she doesnt trust me about anything... she walks all over me pretty much , treats me like crap, shes a total hypocrit.


i hope to god she isnt pregnant....... i dont think i love her anymore

You hate her. And you know it. I hope you can make the right choice.

 

[donpepot]

there is one solution..

DONT BE TAKEN FOR GRANTED

 

[WilliamC]

Well, I think I had quite a similar case to you. But mine had been quite some time back. Since then I realized the mistakes I made and I can see it through you.

No.1 mistake:

"I feel like im boring to her. because i know her ex bf and her would talk on the phone every night, for HOURS."

You have some self esteem problem over there. AND YOU ARE A WIMP!

No.2 mistake:

i mean my own gf who ive been dating for 8 months, i talk to on the phone and she gets off about 3 or 4 mionutes later saying , well we have nothing to talk about, or well, you arent really talking to me. Someone please help???

Well to let yopu know when i talk to her. I talk about her day, what she did, what shes doing now, i tell her about my day (which is boring as hell, and killing me ever more)..

If you got nothing to talk to her, don't talk to her! What for talk to her and make the relationship bored? She gets bored and you get bored.

No. 3 mistake:

I just wish i could be a natural and haefv things flow smoothly, and havve us talking for an hour or so and not even know it.

If you can't stay natural, fun and ****y forever, DON'T call.

No. 4 mistake:
You are not suppose to be the one complaining about her whether she loves you but it's the other way round. Stop suspecting her, stop complaining about her, get a LIFE too. Go find some girls and hang out with and have fun with. Don't go desperate on sex.

Solution no1:
Dump her before she dumps you. Get over her body, get another better body..

Solution no2:
Get a control of yourself, you are giving your gf too much attention and you are playing too nice guy. Don't get too clingy and despo over her..

 

[B-Lemond]

First off, out of curiosity, how old are you DasaniWater?

On to the good stuff.

Get rid of her NOW!

I repeat: Get rid of her NOW!

The only way that things COULD get better is if you leave her right away. You can make it "official" by telling her that it is over.

By the way, you should try just texting/e-mailing her with "It's Over..."

That is the message. No explanations, no NOTHING. Then she will call you back, but whatever you do DO NOT ANSWER. Don't acknowledge her. Once she starts crying and what not, only then can you PERHAPS give her a second chance. It all depends on you.

You could also get rid of her by giving The Silent Treatment (which I made a thread on it). But personally I would just send her that message. Afterall, Karma is a *female dog*.

Read my post on The Silent Treatment, because I don't feel like repeating myself.

Onto the self-improvement portion...

Review the Conversation Section in The DJ Bible. Also, do a search for "Nouning".

While you are at it, actually READ The DJ Bible, because I can almost guarentee, that NO-ONE on this thread actually FINISHED reading The DJ Bible.

The girl is holding you back. Drop her like she is hot...:crackup:

Whether you take her back is up to you.

Stay Positive & Report Back

 

[AB500]

I second B-Lemond but wonder why your calling her so much? Avoid the phone. Talk to her in person, it's much easier. I'm best with conversing in real life although I'm not that bad at phone conversations, the only time I let a conversation drag on past 10 minutes is when it's about something sexual.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

read up on conversating skills. Like Bible material not tha crap in the Tips section

Become secure with yourself. U wonder why she takes so long to respond on AIM, you think about why she says you're weird. Hell, you are afraid of what she will think of you when you break up

And also to me it looks like u need to drop the girl. It doesnt seem like you have much in common

 

[B-Lemond]

First off, out of curiosity, how old are you DasaniWater?

On to the good stuff.

Get rid of her NOW!

I repeat: Get rid of her NOW!

The only way that things COULD get better is if you leave her right away. You can make it "official" by telling her that it is over.

By the way, you should try just texting/e-mailing her with "It's Over..."

That is the message. No explanations, no NOTHING. Then she will call you back, but whatever you do DO NOT ANSWER. Don't acknowledge her. Once she starts crying and what not, only then can you PERHAPS give her a second chance. It all depends on you.

You could also get rid of her by giving The Silent Treatment (which I made a thread on it). But personally I would just send her that message. Afterall, Karma is a *female dog*.

Read my post on The Silent Treatment, because I don't feel like repeating myself.

Onto the self-improvement portion...

Review the Conversation Section in The DJ Bible. Also, do a search for "Nouning".

While you are at it, actually READ The DJ Bible, because I can almost guarentee, that NO-ONE on this thread actually FINISHED reading The DJ Bible.

The girl is holding you back. Drop her like she is hot...:crackup:

Whether you take her back is up to you.

Stay Positive & Report Back

EDIT:
I forgot to mention this. Phone Calls are meant to Set Up Dates. Unless you are having a Long Distance Relationship, YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK TO HER ON THE PHONE FOR HOURS. That is what the dates are for. Call to set up dates!

 

[SnowBlind77]

hey man, i just got out of a relationship EXACTLY like your in. honestly...the exact same situation. All i have to say to you is leave her before she does, cuz it wotn be as hard. PM me if you want and i can give you my email and we can talk about it more personally. seriously man......your clearly not getting what you want at all, you just feel attached, and you want that sexy little body on top of you again. i was in the same boat, but then i got dumped. dont make the same mistake i did dude....move on. if you want to know more PM me.

 

[Mctwist4]

She has lost interest. The relationship is dead. Stop wasting your time with it.

 

[WilliamC]

seems that the only one talking is us... this guy has gone... oh well, break up?

Let us all play a game... who will break up with who first?
My bet is the girl would initiate it!