Guys I am going to snap...

[Quickclicker]

Let me explain my situation. I am very very short-tempered. I have a tendency to get pissed off very easily because I used to be a real pu$$y back in high school and would get bullied around alot, and I wouldn't do $hit back then. So I've hardened myself inside and have become a quickclicker. Plus, I started reading and watching movies about the mafia, executions, and torture, and I'm scared that I'm going to kill someone because I feel I have become ruthless and I'm just waiting to explode. I always think about how I want to torture those who have betrayed me, made fun of me, whatever. I want to watch them suffer with my torture.

The thing is now I'm in college. Second year to be exact. And I hate just hate it when people stare at me. I carry a loaded gun in my car in case things get out of hand. For instance, when I go into our food cafeteria or to a McDonalds close to campus, there are alot of gangsta wannabe kids sitting outside or inside the entrance looking at everyone who walks in. People always say that I look like I'm angry and going to kill someone even when I'm just walking normally. So these dudes just stare at me (give me that dirty look) and want to start something because they think their hard. I want to go in my car and get my gun out and open their mouth and shoot the roof of their mouth after cutting up their inner organs.

Even today, when I was walking to my car, their was this muscular dude, (i'm between skinny and athletic) who was staring at me as I was walking by. He looked at me like he wanted to start something. Never stopped looking. Man, I was so pissed off, if I had a knife, I would of ripped open his heart. I was actually going to kill him, thinking of tying his hands behind his back after squirting him with some mase. Then put a paper bag over his head, and watch him suffocate himself to death. This is the kinds of thoughts I think of ALL THE TIME. I don't know where I'm going to end up. I don't give a fuk anymore. This is better than suicide, so I'll take it. I used to care about education and $hit, but now I just want to find someone to kill and torture. I'm scared I'm going to be the next Columbine or something. Do you guys have any advice as to how I should get over this? Also, I wanted to explain that girls always say as I pass by, "damn, he looks like a bad@$$," and they smile at me telling me their interested. But I never want to get close to them because of what I might do to them if something makes me snap.

 

[Engetsu]

Originally posted by Quickclicker
Have you guys ever felt like this, and what did you do to overcome this?

Hahahaha that killed it!!

 

[amokk23]

whats your nationality quickclicker... PM me your answer.

I'm curious, just becuase I have gone thru a lot of **** that you have been talking about.

Pm me if you want man. Probbaly not a good idea to get innocent people involved in this.


out.

 

[Quickclicker]

Half indian and half hispanic.

 

[Trance]

See ya on CNN sometime psico

 

[Quickclicker]

Originally posted by Trance
See ya on CNN sometime psico

Thanks for the encouragment.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

So watch the opposite movies? Watch romantic comedies, drama etc, LOTS OF LOVE AND KISSES etc! yayay maybe you'll become homosexual.

 

[Abnigh9]

Originally posted by Kineti[C]harm
So watch the opposite movies? Watch romantic comedies, drama etc, LOTS OF LOVE AND KISSES etc! yayay maybe you'll become homosexual.

YAYAY I love you! Some smoochies and kiss...

Oh PUT THE GUN DOWN! DON'T SHOOT! DUCK NOW Kineticharm! -ducks, he shoots until the clip is empty-

Phew, we almost died.

 

[Good_ol_boy]

Get your a$$ to the school counseling center NOW!!

 

[Quickclicker]

Re: ...

Originally posted by dementia
Sounds pretty serious. First off take the gun out of ur car dude.

u have taken the first step tho by realising ur problem and wanting to do something about it.

Thing is this is Don Juan forum not a 'help me im a phsycho forum'... Take care of ur problem, see a shrink or goto a self help group, i dunno.

Why do u give a **** about what other people think so much anyway?

Id take it one step at a time.

Step 1> Stop being a phsycho. Get help.
Step 2> Clean urself up. A badass look is ok but do u wear nice clothes and are u looking as good as u can. Or are u in all leathers, with a greasy mullet and a tatoo of a death angel on ur arm?

The girl might have called u a badass infront of her friends and thought u were hot but is she going to go out with u alone at night? i dont think so.

Step 3> Work on getting girls

Thanks for you advice man. I didn't come here looking for pity. I know I have a problem. No, I dress well, it's just that my side view looks like I've just got out of prison and I look heartless, or as some people say when I pass by them, "fuk, he look like he gonna kill somebody." I don't have any tatoos or such. I know what your saying about not caring about what others think, but I can't help myself. I scare most of the girls away even before I open my mouth. It's hilarious though. When I go somewhere, I see a couple or something, and the guys starts doing some kino on his bytch or kissing her up as I walk by to "claim his territory." Punk a$$ fukers.

 

[amokk23]

Quickclicker,

Join a chior, go to church and volunter at your local homeless. You will see there are a lot more poeple with a lot worst problems then you.

I dont think this is the right way for you to ask for help. Posting on a forum that mainly deals with girls and relationships. If you really feel like your gonna go out and pop someone in the head, you should think about goin on anti-depressants and getting some counseling . They help a lot, I know from experience when I use to smoke cronic eveynite and day for 4 years, it made me extermely paranoid and I felt like EVERYONE was against me, and everyone was staring at me..

But ask yourself why would a stranger walking down the street or getting Macca's would want to start **** with you for no reason?
a few things could be.

- the way you present ( if you dress like a gangsta people will
automaticly assume your one )

- your facial expression ( if you walk around with a pissed look on
your face , you will be started on. )

etc etc, I have gone thru the stage of running with a crew and been bad and ****, do it if your think it will make you feel like a man , just have enough balls to bail out someday, because you cant live your whole life like that.

Any random looser can pull the trigger, it doesn't take a man to shoot someone, it takes a finger and a gun.

Why dont you start doing some martial arts , boxing , wrestling? If you think your tough enough , go on tourments and bouts.

My two cents to you... Take it or leave it.



Out.

 

[Vigilante7]

Man, why are all yall acting like this MAN HAS GONE CRAZY!.....He is in a similair situation to be, because he needs help…..this is what you should do and here is so background info:

Im born in Canada, and parents are from India BUT theyre from a Portuguese area, so I look ½ and ½….so whats my point? Well I get stereoptypicaled a lot from people….who think ima gangbanger…..and I have faced racist comments and a lot of anger…..these are my suggestions

1) Express your anger in words! Talk to somebody, this forum could be your voice of communication, but go to someone who you trust and love…I wouldn’t recommend a physiatrist cause theyre money hungry and might delay the problem….go to a parent, sibling ect, don’t feel scared or unwanted, just talk it out, a lot of people have faced your situation

2) Major props for addressing the problem, a lot of people don’t even know that they have major mood swings, so at least you recognized it…..no when your in your best mood…think….thats right THINK, about why you need a gun? Its pointless, regardless if you get in a lot of trouble or not, negotiating through words is the best way, learn to control your anger WITHOUT violence….you have to realize, just because you have a weapon, dosent mean your untouchable….people can still come at you with insults, but just ponder and realize that you’re a better man for ignoring them….address these problems like a man……

3) I don’t know whether you listen to a lot of rap / hip hop (as I do….) but realize, just because you have a weapon, it dosent make you hard or gutter…..you need to realize that PEOPLE WHO ACT OUT OF EMOTIONS END UP IN JAIL, PEOPLE WHO ACT WITH LOGIC WILL FIND THE SOLUTION…just realize that its not worth it, these people will go

4) Realize WHY theyre staring at you….for these immature teenagers who stare at you, realize that THEYRE ACTING MACHO….’staring down’ someone is when you stare at them and show that ur fearless, and hopefully the first person that looks away naturally shows that theyre scared….realize that I LOOK SCARY at times, but there is no need to stare someone down, its just problematic…..for other people, THEIR GONNA STARE AT YOU MORE IF YOU SHOW THAT YOUR EMOTIONLESS cause theyre thinking ‘this man is gonna kill someone’ – that’s why theyre staring…others are staring just cause they nice and embraceful…..

As for girls, theyre interested, SMILE BACK!!! Who cares, theyre is no set rule that thugs cant smile, give a smirk, but who cares….THEYRE INTERESTED REGARDLESS OF YOUR PERSONA….

Please put more info on yourself…

 

[WestCoaster]

Appreciate the honesty ... some tips

First off, thanks for being candid.

Secondly, I think the part about volunteering for homeless and the such would really help your perspective on life.

Next, I think you would truly be amazed how many people when they look at you or whatever, go home and to be honest don't give a sh-t about you, aren't talking about you, and frankly probably don't even remember you. It's a spur of the testosterone moment. And even if they did sit around and were thinking about you -- who gives a f-ck?! Why are these people's opinions of you so important? Why give them this power? What authority do they have that makes their opinion so important?

And if you messed them up how would that elevate your status in society? It wouldn't. You'd just be another dumb punk, probably with a record and jail time.

Finally: Go see a counselor and get some help ASAP, and you may need some medication -- and I'm not joking.

 

[OpenMind]

Get yourself the book called "The Secret of Letting Go" by Guy Finley. I think this book will give you a little perspective on the way you feel and help you understand why you feel the way you do and how these feelings of yours are truly controlling your life.

I would also recommend a counselor because sometimes our problems can grow beyond our own control. I give you credit for admitting your problem so that you can get some help..... just my two cents..... good luck!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

You r half indian and half hispanic and a gun in the trunk! Damn, whatever you do stay away from alcohol Actually most 'Hispanics' are indian...so I take you are a brown latino.

If you live in a rough area, all the guys look hard - this is natural, since geeks are easy prey everyone tries to be hard...it doesn't mean that they have something against you personally. Half of the things you think that others are thinking about you is only in your own mind and not theirs! So mind your own business.

Only act in self defense. A gun in your trunk doesn't do much good, since you'll never get to it. If you do shoot someone it won't be in self defense, it'll b murder!

Use that angry energy to do something productive - lift weights, join a gym, get involved in athletics and yes help others less fortunate! Get a girlfriend that will soothe your angry side - woman possess a nurturing and caring side that can calm a man down (good women not hos).

Talk to family or friends that are older and they will give you insight. You can't be angry all your life, eventually it'll destroy you. You have issues with your past and now you want to take it out on innocent people. I know where your anger comes from - but u r seeking the wrong solution - violence does nothing to solve your inner turmoil.

When you go to prison you will go crazier and angrier, and you better be 300 pounds because you ain't seen nothing yet in terms of being picked on!

By all means work for a higher goal in life that is outside of you. Get back in school.

 

[don_juan_20]

Let it go. Everyone has had someone do something bad to them in their life. Let it go.

You gain nothing from brewing over it.


When someone gives you a bad look, remember what you are projecting to them. "ruthless and I'm just waiting to explode"

SMILE! I've never had something work so well for me but a smile.

I just came back from the post office and walked up to the lady smiling, she smiled back I had a nice talk and it was nice. Bring that positive energy out.

And above all stop caring what other people think of you! You know who you are, stop letting people make you feel bad about yourself.

Lastly, if you see some gangster eyeing you, ignore him. Why waste your time? Just look past him, and focus on that girls ass down the street.

 

[Quickclicker]

Thanks for taking the time to write these posts guys. I appreciate it. My background is: My dad is Indian as in born in india, and my mom is hispanic (born in spain). I was born here in the U.S. I'm 19 years old. I basically breath hardcore rap. Listen to it all the time.

Yeah, the ironic thing about this is that I am a very compassionate person to those who are kind to me. I am very sensitive when it comes to suffering, and at one point in my life and even now I think at times of donating my life to help the poor. One of the worst things I hate to see is when people (especially kids) suffer due to no food, shelter, etc. But when someone betrays or teases me (besides children of course), I would love to see them get tortured, cut open, everything horrific, you name it. My compassionate side just goes away instantly. I become a monster. I don't want to get into this, but due to the anonymity of the internet, I'll go ahead.

At first I thought it was due to my environment and such that I was so short-tempered. My dad is a loose-cannons as well. But now I'm not so sure. I remember when I was a kid, I used to throw knifes, forks, and spoons at my grandparents and parents when I was mad at them. I remember they used to cry when I was doing it, and I felt so sad when I was doing it, but I couldn't stop. I also had and still do have OCD. I used to repeat phrases like a thousand times when I was a kid (started when I was around 5 or 6) and also had other wierd mannerisms. I have a little bit of Tourettes, but it isn't noticeable in public areas. I usually bottle it up and come home and let it out. I am basically fuked up emotionally. I told my parents this, well my mom, since my dad would tell me to STFU, and she told me that I was doing it on purpose. WTF. I'm thinking about setting up an appointment, but I DON'T want medication for what I think is a silly problem.

I'll write more later, but I wanted to comment on this:

But ask yourself why would a stranger walking down the street or getting Macca's would want to start **** with you for no reason?
a few things could be.

- the way you present ( if you dress like a gangsta people will
automaticly assume your one )

- your facial expression ( if you walk around with a pissed look on
your face , you will be started on. )

I usually wear khaki pants (brown or black) with shirts. I rarely wear t-shirts. My pants are baggy, but not down to the legs sagging or anything. Loose fit. My facial expression isn't really the problem I think. I mean if you look at me when I'm normal, people say I look like I'm pissed off or stoned.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Listening to hard-core rap shyt is not helping your mindset. Stop listening to that angry violent music it only worsens your condition. Start listening to Beethoven and other lovely music. Music has a strong impact on your thinking and on your soul!!

 

[Quickclicker]

Another thing I wanted to mention which I think is funny is my front view doesn't resemble my side views at all. I have had girls and guys gossiping with their friends say stuff like, "man, he's like two different people," or "that dude looks like two people in one." My front view looks like a regular half indian half hispanic dude (dark eyebrows, big eyes, mustache, and barely visible gotti) lol. I've had girls smile at me when they see my front view and say he's cute. Then right when I pass by them their like, "oh my, what just happened? he looks like a killer." That's the main reason why I don't know when these girls smile or whatever if they have really SEEN me as corny as that sounds. I don't care about girls right now. That's the least of my problems.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

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