Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Guys: Ever have a girl hang up on you?

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Mike_The_Man

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If so, did you ever hear from her again? This was while I was trying to ascertain the state of our friendship; I was saying to her that if the feelings are no longer there for her that I was cool with that but she would not come out and say this. I have not seen her since I quit the job Dec. 2 (we worked together) and she is going through quite the messy divorce with 2 kids ect.

All I was attempting to do was get a handle on where I stand with her after not hearing from her all that time. I did not think that was very unreasonable of me. I told her point blank that I fully understood what she was going through and that I was willing to wait, no pressure I said. I never expected her to just hang up on me like that! Maybe she thinks I was trying to get her to make a decision right then and there and that spooked her. We were very definatly attracted to each other when I was working there with her but never dated because of the divorce.

Now mind you, this is a woman that has a VERY HARD TIME expressing what she is thinking and/or feeling but she was able to admit to me the day I quit that this was indeed going to happen for us. What do you all think? Could this have been just a miscommunication on her part?

You girls, if you were in this situation and you hung up on me, would I eventually hear from you again? I miss her and told her so and she replied with one of those awwwws that you girls do so well!:confused: :confused:
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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littlebumblebee

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You know how you said to her that if she basically wasnt interested or didnt have feelings for you that you were cool with that and you just wanted her to tell you (i think thats what you said) well a bit of advice..if you care about her.. NEVER say that you are "cool with that" or "okay with that" because it makes us feel crappy. I can think of two situations off the top of my head when guys I have cared for have said that to me... it makes our brains go a mile a minute wondering if we ever meant anything at all to you. As far as the hanging up thing.. if it was me and I felt you were being an ass for whatever reason, I would in the back of my mind expect you to call back. Or at least hope you would. But thats just me. I have called guys back after hanging up on them.. if she calls back I would say it will be within 1 hour of her hanging up on you.

Hope that helps :)
 
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Easy Tiger

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Read actions not words.

If you haven't spoken for 8 weeks, and if she hangs up on you when you call her, the weight of probabilities suggests that she has a low interest level. I think she may not call back in this situation.


Edit to fix typos
 
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Mike_The_Man

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Yea but the thing is, I was calling her at work and I basically said that I would not call her at work anymore; she has my cell number, she knows how to get a hold of me. She never gave me her cell number in the beginning because her ex somehow got a hold of her cell phone logs and was calling every number on them to see who she was talking to ect. and she did not want me to become embroiled in that mess.

Thing about it is, I know this girl was (or still is) very attracted to me but I think somthing spooked her real good and she just will not open up and talk to me about it! We were right at the point of the dead solid eye contact and admitting to each other that there was somthing there THE DAY I QUIT!
 
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Austin3.8

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First you should never tell anyone where your personal limits are, or what you are cool with. Its like handing someone ammunition to shoot you with. Controlling the information that others have about crucial to keeping a person off-balance. An off-balance person easily plays into your hand, and usually with little effort on your part.

On getting hung up on, personally I won't talk to that person until I have regained control of my emotions. The moment you let your emotions into play is the moment you lose.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Wyldfire

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She knows how to reach you. If she wanted you, she would have contacted you. Move on, date other women and forget about her.
 
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littlebumblebee

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solid eye contact is hot. I swear nothing gets me like that. whew! anyways, if her ex is checkin her cell phone bills i'd say it would be safe to stay away from her for a little while anyways.. who wants to get caught up in a relationship breakup and have some psycho come after you. EEEEP. Maybe its cause im a girl and I wouldnt want to get into a fight but some ppl go insane over stuff like this.

shes probably got a lot on her plate right now to deal with.. thats why shes acting odd.
 
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PrimetimeDeliverance

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Happened to me once too. This probably happens to everyone at some point I guess.

Anyways, this incredibly clingly biatch (we'd been going out a couple months) calls me up when I'm playing some good ol' Madden with a buddy of mine who I've known my whole life. She hangs up on me in some kind of exaggerated hissy fit (because I'm not spending enough time with her I suppose), and calls me back like 25 minutes later. Tells me she wants to meet to talk about this kind of thing.

So I agree, and we go out for lunch the next day. As we're walking to the restaurant she yells out to me that I'm walking too fast (no, I'm not kidding). Needless to say, that's the first time I've ever been told that, and hopefully the last. I broke up with her on the spot, stupidly forgetting that we have to take the same bus home.. which made for quite an awkward trip.

Sorry that got off topic (what can I say I'm a noob).
 
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AnkleBreaker

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Yea they always call back when they hang up if you got your game straight. Cause they know if they dont call back youll never talk to ther ass again lol.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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M

Mike_The_Man

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Originally posted by littlebumblebee
solid eye contact is hot. I swear nothing gets me like that. whew! anyways, if her ex is checkin her cell phone bills i'd say it would be safe to stay away from her for a little while anyways.. who wants to get caught up in a relationship breakup and have some psycho come after you. EEEEP. Maybe its cause im a girl and I wouldnt want to get into a fight but some ppl go insane over stuff like this.

shes probably got a lot on her plate right now to deal with.. thats why shes acting odd.
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this is what my gut instincts tell me it is.:( But I miss her, ya know?:mad:
 
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