"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Guy spitting at your car!

BlackJackal

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Find him in school and body slam him on his ear.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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BackToTheMack

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Originally posted by bluelemond
I was driving on the school campus, I started making a U-turn and all of a sudden some cross country runner runs up to my car and spits. WTF? I almost got out but he was too far away. I talked to the cross country coach but he probably won't do anything. I'll probably talkt to the headmaster and what not tomorrow. If they don't do anything I might take things into my own hands. What do you guys think.

By the way I'm 16 and this guy is 17.

edit: Mods please move this to the anything else forum
Peronally id have run him over
 

Blackdragon5095

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OK this is what you do if someone spits on your car.

1. you let them them walk away and follow them home
2. you wait until it's late late at nite
3. throw a rock into his window with a note
4. the note says ( you want payback then come outside and get me I'm in the street )
5. as they walk in the street you run their ass over with your car and laugh

IF they got a girl

1. use your DJ SKills :cool:
2. offer to be friends with his g/f
3. take her to a bar to get drunk or if she likes to get high
4. take her to your house
5. wait until she passes out and take naked pictures of her or have your friend take pictures of you and her together
6. Mail the pictuers to him
7. He gets pissed off as hell and starts angerment with his g/f and wants to kick your ass
8. tell him the place where you want to meet and make it be on the street
9. He comes out on the street mad as hell and you run him over with your car then you stop and back up running him over agian


j/k don't do any of these or you be severing jail time I'm just being funny :crackup:
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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rapsta

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DUDE!! you're on the sosuave forum =DDD
that means you can seduce his mommy =) that means you will have your car parked in front of his house when u are banging her =) JACKPOT
 

S-lemond

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its just spit ok...its not like you drive a mercadez benz like me!!! LOL lorenso
 

GSXR RiDeR

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One time i was at a friends house and there was this other f@ggot there that i didnt get along with and as i was pulling out of my friends driveway in my car this guy i dont like grabs one of those pump action super soaker water guns and aims it at me through my window, i say to him "dont squirt any water inside my car motha fu(ka because there will be consequences and repercussions" well he didnt listen to me and started spraying water on me and into my car so i jumped out an ran after him on foot until i got close enough to trip him up and take him down. Then i grabbed the super soaker and beat the sh!t out of him with it until it started falling apart. After that i walked back to my car where my friend was ROFL at what he had just seen, i said goodbye to him and went home.

So yeah my advice is dont let this **** slide because people will think they can walk all over you if you never stick up for yourself.
 

Gonzalo

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omg the thing with the sharpie on the passed out guy after beating him up was priceless.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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diplomatic_lies

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Here's what I would do:

Follow him home and rape him.
 

PRMoon

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Don't be a tool, if a guy spits on your car let it slide. I know that sounds bad but its not like he keyed it or something. If the guy doesn't like you and the only thing he can do to push your buttons or have any type of confrentation with you is spit at you in your car then he's a serious p*ssy anyway. Feel lucky you're not me and you don't piss off psudo evil Vegas gangster wannabes who wait to jump you while you're in casino parking lots....yeah not fun
 
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