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Djjead12

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Anyone have guy friends that never invite you ?

Me: “hey man what’s up. What you up to this weekend want to go out”

Them“I’m going to the (insert name) bar”


It’s never like “I’m going to this bar, you should come out”

I don’t want to be like “hey cool can I come” . Feel like if they wanted to hang they would extend the invite. Get tired of asking. And if I don’t ask what they’re up to I never hear from them. Should I just assume they done want to be friends and hang out with otHer people ?
 

RangerMIke

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If I want to hang out with guy friends I just invite them myself. This is good advice anytime you invite someone out especially women. Have something in mind you want to do place/activity/time and make plans. If they are busy... then just like chicks, you wait to see if the counter... otherwise assume they don't want to hang out with you and dial up another buddy.
 

Djjead12

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If I want to hang out with guy friends I just invite them myself. This is good advice anytime you invite someone out especially women. Have something in mind you want to do place/activity/time and make plans. If they are busy... then just like chicks, you wait to see if the counter... otherwise assume they don't want to hang out with you and dial up another buddy.
Ya I do that too. I’ll suggest something to do. They’ll say they’re going somewhere else and don’t extend the invite .. few weeks later I’ll try again .. same thing.
 

Mike32ct

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I don't think they want to hang out with you
^This. You might think you are in their clique, but you actually aren’t.

But don’t take it personally. This is very common. The high school-like clique shyte continues well into adulthood.

Focus on people that either invite you places and/or accept invitations from you. Or lone wolf it and hit the bars and clubs you want solo.
 
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Roober

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If they don't invite you, they probably dont say yes to your invitations. In that case, don't bother with them.

The invitations should be fairly mutual and you should have several groups of friends; work friends, longtime friends, special interest friends, neighbors?, Etc
 

Black Widow Void

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I believe that I can help with this.
And by the way, this isn't to imply that I was 'socially enlightened' way before you or anything. It's my circumstances that provided the missing key.

By sixth grade, I had gone to nine different schools (divorced parents, mother changing colleges, father transferred due to promotions etc...).
I could never understand why it was so difficult to develop friendships. By forth grade, I surmised that this was due to always being the "new kid." But then something happened. A newer kid came aboard and over night, started developing all these new friendships.

Although the above sounds kind of depressing (and it sure felt that way) it was the best thing to happen and it's identical to your story.

I started applying self-objectivity. I started looking at myself and other students that weren't very popular. I began to ask myself; what is is about these less popular kids that I also didn't like? I then started becoming cognizant of my own behavior(s). I then started asking myself; if I were them, would I want to be around someone like this?

It took a while to adjust and transform, but by sixth grade, I became one of the 'average' guys... and by 8th grade, I actually became (so-called) "cool." I won't lie. At times it almost seemed like I made a deal with the devil or something. Five years earlier, I would have never guessed that I could be at the top of the game... but there I was.

The short version:
Getting rejected by friends is the same gift as getting rejected by women. Although it may not seem like constructive criticism, in a dark twisted way, it is. With each new social encounter, we have the opportunity to apply our new self-awareness. And with each positive reaction (or negative) we have a new opportunity to calibrate and improve.

There's absolutely nothing special about me at all. A lot of my peers think that there is... because I don't do half bad with women and have a fairly good social circle. I was never a 'natural' but if you do the hard work (introspection and apply self-objectivity) you can achieve the same result.
 
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Soldier King

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get back up soldier.

And remember you don't need anyone to go out with you if you can get to a location with a cute girl, just bring your heart and courage and see what happens.
 

Ohso-Phresh

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Anyone have guy friends that never invite you ?

Me: “hey man what’s up. What you up to this weekend want to go out”

Them“I’m going to the (insert name) bar”


It’s never like “I’m going to this bar, you should come out”

I don’t want to be like “hey cool can I come” . Feel like if they wanted to hang they would extend the invite. Get tired of asking. And if I don’t ask what they’re up to I never hear from them. Should I just assume they done want to be friends and hang out with otHer people ?
You’re taking energy not giving it.

Your question has your answer.

Ie. Hey man, We’re going to ____, it’ll be fun to have ya.
 
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