Guilty feelings...

[Demodulate]

I have never had the oppurtunity to date two people at once and now it seems I might actually have the chance... but I almost feel guilty talking to the newer of the two girls...

how does one get by this paradigm shift...

I dont think their is anything serious going on with the 1st one, but im not sure how she feels..

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Start putting your feelings first. If nothing is happening with the first one, stop acting as if there is something. Stop pretending that there is more going on than there really is.

 

[Demodulate]

so what dont date both... dump and move on?

this is my usual action.. ive dumped nice girls to go after the next one.. I didnt think it was fair to lead anyone on...

but people on here seem to think its better to date multiple people...

it just doesnt feel right to me...

 

[Demodulate]

double post...

 

[vincent40]

what's wrong if you're dating several women at the same time? you didn't propose to marry them in the future, did you?

 

[KarmaSutra]

how does one get by this paradigm shift...

Someone's been reading Bob Frissells books or listening to Tool. Paradigm shift doesn't apply to this post but I'll let it slide due to it being one of my favorite terms and that I'm happy to see someone else use it other than myself.

 

[KarmaSutra]

how does one get by this paradigm shift...

Someone's been reading Bob Frissells books or listening to Tool. Paradigm shift doesn't apply to this post but I'll let it slide due to it being one of my favorite terms and the fact that I'm happy to see someone else use it other than myself.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

DEMOD: You pull your head out of your ass and come to the realization that you are the PRIZE to be sought after by women rather than the other way around and as such have no liability to either these two or a 3rd, 4th or 5th woman you fancy. The only responsibility you have to either of them is to honestly and forthcomingingly establish a condition of non-exclusivity. It's when you confirm exclusivity by your words or actions with any one of them that you are being dishonest - not to yourself, but to them, and that's when the problems start.

You MUST unlearn and decondition yourself of these very pervasive, very internalized ideas that you are expected to exclusively limit yourself to one interest at a time - this is a patently false and inefficient mentality. You are not a "Playah" for spinning 4 or 5 plates at a time - you are dating as an adult should and exploring your options. You will be far better served by internalizing your own value as a commodity that women want to be associated with. Nothing is more confidence-confirming (and attractive) than a man with options.

 

[Desdinova]

but people on here seem to think its better to date multiple people...

it just doesnt feel right to me...

The way I see it, the woman has to EARN my full attention. She is in competition with the others. If she's a good woman, I'll ditch the other ones and shift the relationship into long term. If she's a lousy woman, she'll get tossed aside once I get a replacement for her, or she pisses me off.