Guide to sosuave for the newbies

[handle]

I'm not going to bother formatting this to make it look like a blog post. This is not "the 10 things you NEED to GET WOMEN" or whatever. Just the goods:

1. Read the bible. In particular:
- Read the pook material
- If you are interested in relationship stuff, read the antidump material

2. Set concrete goals for yourself based mostly on the pook writings. Focus on one or two things at a time. You know what is out of your comfort zone; do the things that are outside of it. For some people this is mustering up the courage to talk to women. For others it is physical escalation. Etc. It is on you to have enough self-awareness to figure out what you need to work on.

2A. That being said -- know what you want. You do not have to be a master of the cold approach if all you want is to be able to get a girlfriend. I don't cold approach much. I maintain a big, loose social circle and it works fine. I get introduced. On that note...

3. Take up hobbies. Social hobbies. A sport, a club, etc. Preferably something with a reasonable gender ratio. This forces you to be social around people who have common interests. It makes you more interesting. Do something you legitimately find interesting. Doesn't matter if it's dungeons and dragons or breakdancing. It gives you something to do other than sitting at home thinking about seduction bs. It's just good. Do it. Hobbies. With people.

4. Spend as little time as possible on the forums. There is almost no useful advice on the forums. At best, it's just rehashing of the bible stuff. At worst, it's pointless arguing. Forums bad. Bible good.




Some additional thoughts, take them or leave them:

- I think this is a real problem with the new guys: in my experience IOIs are largely bullsh*t. Girls have such different responses that there is no point in looking too closely at her body language. Just assume interest... But don't take it from me, learn this yourself by applying what you read in the Bible and reflecting on your progress.

- Some of the bible material talks about calling vs texting. If you're in the college age bracket, it might not apply to you. Personally I'm old school and I just call, but a lot of guys implement texting successfully. Your mileage may vary.

- One of my favourite things I ever read on SoSuave was "perfect is boring," I think pook said it. Don't wait for the perfect girl. Likewise, do not get caught up in projecting some perfect badboy image or whatever. Being too slick is unattractive, everyone is a little odd. Imperfections make you more interesting. But maybe that is a more philosophical thing that you can discover (or not discover) for yourself. I digress...

 

[icantgetlaid]

I'm a newbie and i appreciate this seemingly sound advice .. thanks!

 

[zekko]

First off, handle, great post. I'm not so forum-averse as you are, the DJ Bible is just stuff that was compiled from the forum, from the perspective of what was thought important at the time. As you note, PUAs were very anti-texting at the time, and that has changed somewhat with the environment.

I agree, however, that you aren't going to be picking women up by reading the forum. I read and post here for entertainment. I have a girlfriend, so if your goal is to learn pickup, yeah, you have to get out in the world to do that.

3. Take up hobbies. Social hobbies. A sport, a club, etc. Preferably something with a reasonable gender ratio. This forces you to be social around people who have common interests. It makes you more interesting. Do something you legitimately find interesting.QUOTE]
I can't believe that there are guys out there who don't have hobbies. It's just amazing to me. I wouldn't do it to make yourself interesting, there just surely has to be SOMETHING you're interested in. What do guys do, sit and watch the paint dry?

 

[handle]

^^ Yeah I don't get it either... having something to keep you busy is fun AND helps with your "game." It doesn't have to be one of those played-out examples you always hear about like car modding. If you like D&D or whatever that's fine, just get into it and meet up with people who like it. It'll enrich your life.

 

[handle]

time to bring this to the top of the heap...

 

[skinnyguy]

You should also add that SS is for advice on how to be a player, not on how to find a girlfriend or wife

 

[Trump]

^^ Yeah I don't get it either... having something to keep you busy is fun AND helps with your "game." It doesn't have to be one of those played-out examples you always hear about like car modding. If you like D&D or whatever that's fine, just get into it and meet up with people who like it. It'll enrich your life.

The problem with "hobbies" is it doesn't help game or make you meet girls. Girls are more about the right time, the right place, knowing the right person. Hobbies are about exercise or improving the mind, they have nothing to do with girls.

To meet girls I would say have sisters or girl cousins.

 

[IASGame]

You should also add that SS is for advice on how to be a player, not on how to find a girlfriend or wife

It seemed to me there was a large enough minority of posters that were in LTRs and occasionally discussing related issues. That is certainly the main reason I joined (I'm in an LTR).

On hobbies: I think it is a great idea to have hobbies for many reasons, and the primary motivation should be to improve yourself / have a good time. They can easily enable you to meet girls and in a good setting for that, particularly if you are good at the hobby it will contribute to situational Game.

 

[ubercat]

Plenty of LTR stuff here. There r some gems on the forum and ppl r ignoring value of field reports. I always found Pook a bit wordy but obviously a genius of inner game. I m a bit paint by numbers - works for me. So some of the other forums like sedfast have more on routines. I ve used plenty of lines which haven't turned me into a social robot and have got me laid.

OK yeah I'm just some Internet guy. But I'm also a trained teacher and an analyst by trade so I do know a little bit about learning so..

I d say usual rules of learning anything:

Make it fun or you won't do it - gamification works give yourself challenges and Rewards
Learn the absolute f****** basics and practice them all the time
Chunk up the learning to aid retention
Practice as close to the real thing as possible hehe this includes POF girls
Find a couple of the senior guys who match your style and look at their posts. E.g. Guru 1000 is pure Alpha. Desdinova wrote the book on mall game. Espi is an awesome online Hunter. Too many to name. So if you look you will find a virtual mentor to match your style and your approach.
Implement short feedback Loops. I.e. Post field reports preferably short punchy ones focused on what you think your key problems are and what you're doing about it.
Lift weights if you're at all physically capable everyone here agrees on it just do it.

Don't end up hating woman and give yourself time if you're new to all this the red pill takes a while to digest. If you're in this situation time out and working on improving yourself isn't a bad thing

Keep learning there's plenty of guys here who will help you but you don't be that guy who keeps repeating the same mistake girl after girl and ignoring all the advice.

Going to be my last post for a while many things to be busy with and then it's back to the approach mines . Hope this helps some Newbie.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It seemed to me there was a large enough minority of posters that were in LTRs and occasionally discussing related issues. That is certainly the main reason I joined (I'm in an LTR).

On hobbies: I think it is a great idea to have hobbies for many reasons, and the primary motivation should be to improve yourself / have a good time. They can easily enable you to meet girls and in a good setting for that, particularly if you are good at the hobby it will contribute to situational Game.

LTR folks need "game" too... The reason is, many of these wives will become disinterested in Mr Reliable over time and get attracted to players.

Men in LTR need to know how to keep and maintain attraction and desire. Sometimes you gotta do some of the "player" stuff to keep their interests peaked.

 

[handle]

The problem with "hobbies" is it doesn't help game or make you meet girls. Girls are more about the right time, the right place, knowing the right person. Hobbies are about exercise or improving the mind, they have nothing to do with girls.

To meet girls I would say have sisters or girl cousins.

Social hobbies have several benefits... I'd say they do help game as they...

- force you to meet new people and vibe socially
- may put you in that "right place" at the "right time" by expanding your social circle
- get you out of the house and stop you from wasting time reading bs on forums (this is important, especially for new members)

 

[RangerMIke]

Probably the single most important trait any man can have is patience. Patience with your own progress... patience with women. Real improvement takes time - patience allows you not to get discouraged.

The worst thing you can do with women you are trying to date is to go in too fast and get all needy and demanding. You have to have the patience to let women come to you on their own terms. You call or text a woman and you MUST wait for her to get back with you... if she never gets back with then walk away and never look back.

Impatience men are never get chased by women and women will never really value men that they don't have to work for. You have to have the patience to let women develop feelings and start to make an effort towards you.