Grumpy Attitude

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Don Juan
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Hey folks, I'll directly get to point.

I feel there's a lot of pent up anger and frustration in me and I have no idea how to solve it. I become grumpy and bitter towards everyone - less cheerful and serious. At one point I asked myself - Do I even know how to have fun? All my life all I have ever been doing is making attempts to fix my life to match my imagined life. Always working, always seemingly doing right thing. Not only I didnt get results I feel I never became a normal person either.

I tried meditation but it doesn't seem to help much. What do I do? All this emotional conflict is leading to Pre Mature Aging(is that a word?), Bad Confidence Levels, Pessimism, Being Fragile and Stifled.

No more!
 
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daproest1

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Hey folks, I'll directly get to point.

I feel there's a lot of pent up anger and frustration in me and I have no idea how to solve it. I become grumpy and bitter towards everyone - less cheerful and serious. At one point I asked myself - Do I even know how to have fun? All my life all I have ever been doing is making attempts to fix my life to match my imagined life. Always working, always seemingly doing right thing. Not only I didnt get results I feel I never became a normal person either.

I tried meditation but it doesn't seem to help much. What do I do? All this emotional conflict is leading to Pre Mature Aging(is that a word?), Bad Confidence Levels, Pessimism, Being Fragile and Stifled.

No more!
That’s basically my personality. Fvck meditation. Think diet. Your diet is more than what you eat. It’s what you feed your mind too. What u watch. What you read. Who you hang out with. Etc.

Go do shyt you like. By yourself. Then. Make a GOAL. Achieve that goal. Then make another. If you don’t feel better after those goals, then you might need more drastic measures. But usually momentum solves everything.

-lifetime grump.
 

Mike32ct

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Hey folks, I'll directly get to point.

I feel there's a lot of pent up anger and frustration in me and I have no idea how to solve it. I become grumpy and bitter towards everyone - less cheerful and serious. At one point I asked myself - Do I even know how to have fun? All my life all I have ever been doing is making attempts to fix my life to match my imagined life. Always working, always seemingly doing right thing. Not only I didnt get results I feel I never became a normal person either.

I tried meditation but it doesn't seem to help much. What do I do? All this emotional conflict is leading to Pre Mature Aging(is that a word?), Bad Confidence Levels, Pessimism, Being Fragile and Stifled.

No more!
Are you getting enough sleep? It’s easy to be cranky when you’re tired and easier to be chill when you are well-rested.
 

EyeOnThePrize

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you don't meditate to get something. meditation is about letting the natural process of being unfold by itself. it's a practice only in the sense that you keep catching your mind wondering and bring it back to your breath. every time you catch it rejoice, that is a moment of insight. sometimes meditation will seem to do nothing to you, other times it will break you down to tears. you don't have to know why, you simply have to experience it fully and soak it all in.

it's fine to be improving yourself and 'fixing' your life, but sometimes it's alright to let go a bit and enjoy it. if you feel stagnant or bored shake shiit up. take a spontaneous trip and talk to a bunch of strangers. join a sports league and attend every single event. do some yoga and get flexible. join a boxing gym. pick up an instrument. start drawing/painting. whatever you choose to do, be consistent. giving up after 2 or 3 or 6 outings is a child's mentality. when you stick with something and start to get good at something you create a positive feedback loop that quite literally gets you high. being an expert at something feels so fuucking good and creates tons of confidence and pride in yourself. THAT is what will soothe your grumpy ass. when you can look at yourself and say FUUCK i'm a boss at this and enjoy the living hell out of it. you'll feel alive because you put the hours in and did it all by yourself. no one told you to do shiit, you just did it and became a badass in the field. along the way you'll hone your patience and a ton of other skills depending on what you pick. improvement is an s curve, it's not linear. improvement is a campaign of discipline. pick something and get good. feel like shiit? practice that thing. pour that fuucking anger into your hobby. watch it manifest as something beautiful. that grumpy attitude is energy that you need to release into the world through creative outlets.
 

switch7

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Hey folks, I'll directly get to point.

I feel there's a lot of pent up anger and frustration in me and I have no idea how to solve it. I become grumpy and bitter towards everyone - less cheerful and serious. At one point I asked myself - Do I even know how to have fun? All my life all I have ever been doing is making attempts to fix my life to match my imagined life. Always working, always seemingly doing right thing. Not only I didnt get results I feel I never became a normal person either.

I tried meditation but it doesn't seem to help much. What do I do? All this emotional conflict is leading to Pre Mature Aging(is that a word?), Bad Confidence Levels, Pessimism, Being Fragile and Stifled.

No more!
What are you trying to become and why? What is your desired life?
 
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Kotaix

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I've been in your situation most of my life, but recently I've been coming out of it.

You need to realize that Now is the time you're alive. Your imagined life will never come you pass, and may not even go as far as what you've imagined. You need to learn to enjoy the Now. I kept thinking that at some point in the future, the stars would be aligned correctly and what I'd done would finally bear fruit. But I never gave myself permission to be proud of what i've accomplished now, to enjoy the moment I was in. I'm a lot happier since I started focusing on the Now, and what I'm taking about is actually a form of meditation. If you're failed at it in the past and it doesn't do anything for you, it's because you're new at it and you need practice.

Also, you should stop thinking about life as some kind of equity game. Fate doesn't care. Hypergamy doesn't care. You could die tomorrow without having enjoyed life.

I suggest you read Thus Spoke Zarathustra by Nietzsche. Read each paragraph and find what it means to you, reflect on that meaning. I don't normally read much anymore but that book is powerful.

Also, check out the teachings of stoicism.
 

wifehunter

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How's your finances? If you're holding dollars or dollar based investments, you are slowly getting rekt.

I would be a grumpalumpgus, too.

 
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PeasantPlayer

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you don't meditate to get something. meditation is about letting the natural process of being unfold by itself. it's a practice only in the sense that you keep catching your mind wondering and bring it back to your breath. every time you catch it rejoice, that is a moment of insight. sometimes meditation will seem to do nothing to you, other times it will break you down to tears. you don't have to know why, you simply have to experience it fully and soak it all in.

it's fine to be improving yourself and 'fixing' your life, but sometimes it's alright to let go a bit and enjoy it. if you feel stagnant or bored shake shiit up. take a spontaneous trip and talk to a bunch of strangers. join a sports league and attend every single event. do some yoga and get flexible. join a boxing gym. pick up an instrument. start drawing/painting. whatever you choose to do, be consistent. giving up after 2 or 3 or 6 outings is a child's mentality. when you stick with something and start to get good at something you create a positive feedback loop that quite literally gets you high. being an expert at something feels so fuucking good and creates tons of confidence and pride in yourself. THAT is what will soothe your grumpy ass. when you can look at yourself and say FUUCK i'm a boss at this and enjoy the living hell out of it. you'll feel alive because you put the hours in and did it all by yourself. no one told you to do shiit, you just did it and became a badass in the field. along the way you'll hone your patience and a ton of other skills depending on what you pick. improvement is an s curve, it's not linear. improvement is a campaign of discipline. pick something and get good. feel like shiit? practice that thing. pour that fuucking anger into your hobby. watch it manifest as something beautiful. that grumpy attitude is energy that you need to release into the world through creative outlets.
Right meditation is not what people think of it in the west
 

Spaz

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All those feelings is caused by having losing streaks on an extended period, you need some wins in life.

Don't aim for the big pull at once, go for the small stuff, easy to attain wins then work ur way up.

That'll work wonders in ur confidence and ultimately restoring some lost mojo.
 

GetBetter

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That’s basically my personality. Fvck meditation. Think diet. Your diet is more than what you eat. It’s what you feed your mind too. What u watch. What you read. Who you hang out with. Etc.

Go do shyt you like. By yourself. Then. Make a GOAL. Achieve that goal. Then make another. If you don’t feel better after those goals, then you might need more drastic measures. But usually momentum solves everything.

-lifetime grump.
Man! Solid advice! Really! I do not even know what to surf or what to do so I find myself checking Instagram every 2 minutes and spending endless time reading mind numbing memes or "gaming" girls who are not even interested. I have books pending but reading non fiction too much is just plain boring and sometimes too much to take in.

I searched the internet about what's a good mental diet and all I see is 7Day Mental Diet program. I have tried that in past and it has always ended in failure. Any suggestions by you? What should I be doing instead of Instagram? What should I be reading on Internet? Where should my time be devoted? I have many friends but it seems I do not connect with a lot of them. The ones I do with are busy with studies or managing their business. I love parties but my financial situation is in the ruins which I am determined to take control of.
 
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GetBetter

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you don't meditate to get something. meditation is about letting the natural process of being unfold by itself. it's a practice only in the sense that you keep catching your mind wondering and bring it back to your breath. every time you catch it rejoice, that is a moment of insight. sometimes meditation will seem to do nothing to you, other times it will break you down to tears. you don't have to know why, you simply have to experience it fully and soak it all in.
Embarrassed how despite knowing I overlooked this.

it's fine to be improving yourself and 'fixing' your life, but sometimes it's alright to let go a bit and enjoy it. if you feel stagnant or bored shake shiit up. take a spontaneous trip and talk to a bunch of strangers. join a sports league and attend every single event. do some yoga and get flexible. join a boxing gym. pick up an instrument. start drawing/painting. whatever you choose to do, be consistent. giving up after 2 or 3 or 6 outings is a child's mentality. when you stick with something and start to get good at something you create a positive feedback loop that quite literally gets you high. being an expert at something feels so fuucking good and creates tons of confidence and pride in yourself. THAT is what will soothe your grumpy ass. when you can look at yourself and say FUUCK i'm a boss at this and enjoy the living hell out of it. you'll feel alive because you put the hours in and did it all by yourself. no one told you to do shiit, you just did it and became a badass in the field. along the way you'll hone your patience and a ton of other skills depending on what you pick. improvement is an s curve, it's not linear. improvement is a campaign of discipline. pick something and get good. feel like shiit? practice that thing. pour that fuucking anger into your hobby. watch it manifest as something beautiful. that grumpy attitude is energy that you need to release into the world through creative outlets.
You have led me to a great realisation. My main problem is with me not being able to be free in conversations. I think a lot before I speak and end up not saying anything at all. I come across as pretentious. During a Pickup bootcamp, the coach made me talk to strangers, until I was flowing. I made at least 6 people run away because I was unbelievably boring. By the end of it, I was so free and it felt great! Not being able to party, pickup chicks and travel is eating me inside. Also, my mental blueprint is that I am a famous artist, who is high value, a player, rich, and lives the life people dream of. I am not even close and not only that, it's going the opposite, except the art part maybe, while I remain in the same mental attitude of a top guy. I am carefree yet stressed and whenever I am in a social setting, I feel the least value guy. During solo travels too I feel like **** - I do not mean ****. I have no value. If I died nobody would care.

I believe I would do a lot of things, if I had money. I am so tied down because of broke situation...Plus getting a job doesn't even feel the right option. I am figuring it out.

I think I should focus on Pickup for two weeks. Then pick something else.
I've been in your situation most of my life, but recently I've been coming out of it.

You need to realize that Now is the time you're alive. Your imagined life will never come you pass, and may not even go as far as what you've imagined. You need to learn to enjoy the Now. I kept thinking that at some point in the future, the stars would be aligned correctly and what I'd done would finally bear fruit. But I never gave myself permission to be proud of what i've accomplished now, to enjoy the moment I was in. I'm a lot happier since I started focusing on the Now, and what I'm taking about is actually a form of meditation. If you're failed at it in the past and it doesn't do anything for you, it's because you're new at it and you need practice.

Also, you should stop thinking about life as some kind of equity game. Fate doesn't care. Hypergamy doesn't care. You could die tomorrow without having enjoyed life.

I suggest you read Thus Spoke Zarathustra by Nietzsche. Read each paragraph and find what it means to you, reflect on that meaning. I don't normally read much anymore but that book is powerful.

Also, check out the teachings of stoicism.
Thank you Kotiax! I was just thinking about this the other day - How I never gave myself permission to be dominating(not the right word but how you describe alphas) until I had enough money in the bank. I realized that these guys were like that no matter how broke they were. I need to give myself more permission to feel better. However on the other note, I have tried the Morning Questions Routine by Tony Robbins to change my thinking patters, did not work. I fell off. Also, living life freely, thinking it will come to pass as fate wanted has always left me feeling miserable. I feel better thinking I am the one controlling. Maybe I am not giving myself permission again, thinking I would do that when I have money? Quite possible.

I will however read the book Zarathustra. I always wanted to read Nietzsche but never knew which one to start with. I have also been thinking that maybe I should follow my religion again - these guys knew how to leave life with harmony in them and with world. Idk. I have enjoy atheism but maybe it's not the right way.

All those feelings is caused by having losing streaks on an extended period, you need some wins in life.

Don't aim for the big pull at once, go for the small stuff, easy to attain wins then work ur way up.

That'll work wonders in ur confidence and ultimately restoring some lost mojo.
I am doing this currently. However my mind screams "Do not fool me. These minute things are pathetic! Go big!" Plus I am not even sure which direction to start with. I started with trying to fix my sleep schedule. Nothing really motivating there. Nothing is motivating tbh. I have to force myself to get work done. Any suggestions what I could start with?

Please do not hate me or disregard me but maybe I do not want to help myself. I want to but not really. It's an intrinsic battle.

Maybe you get where all this attitude is coming from...
 

Spaz

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I am doing this currently. However my mind screams "Do not fool me. These minute things are pathetic! Go big!" Plus I am not even sure which direction to start with. I started with trying to fix my sleep schedule. Nothing really motivating there. Nothing is motivating tbh. I have to force myself to get work done. Any suggestions what I could start with?

Please do not hate me or disregard me but maybe I do not want to help myself. I want to but not really. It's an intrinsic battle.

Maybe you get where all this attitude is coming from...
All wars are won by winning little battles.

Life is a series of small little battles.

Choose something that's lacking or you feel needs improvement then lock into that, focus on it.

The trick is when u r feeling low or demoralised you switch to low gears, the easiest is head to the gym or go do some physical activity that yields positive results.
 

EyeOnThePrize

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I believe I would do a lot of things, if I had money. I am so tied down because of broke situation...Plus getting a job doesn't even feel the right option. I am figuring it out.

I think I should focus on Pickup for two weeks. Then pick something else.
You're putting the cart before the horse. Focusing on pick up when you feel miserable alone will only compound the ****tiness because women will pick up on desperation and find out that you don't even like yourself, so why should they? The same thing with money. Money isn't required for a Dom mindset. Time is your most precious commodity, spend it doing something you find worth, with people you find worthy. Grind hard and never stop.
 

daproest1

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Man! Solid advice! Really! I do not even know what to surf or what to do so I find myself checking Instagram every 2 minutes and spending endless time reading mind numbing memes or "gaming" girls who are not even interested. I have books pending but reading non fiction too much is just plain boring and sometimes too much to take in.

I searched the internet about what's a good mental diet and all I see is 7Day Mental Diet program. I have tried that in past and it has always ended in failure. Any suggestions by you? What should I be doing instead of Instagram? What should I be reading on Internet? Where should my time be devoted? I have many friends but it seems I do not connect with a lot of them. The ones I do with are busy with studies or managing their business. I love parties but my financial situation is in the ruins which I am determined to take control of.
Whatever is concerning you the most right now, learn about that. Sounds like it’s money. Sounds like you’re young too. Read about money.

Books. Simple list (there are better more detailed ones these are the classics)

-rich dad poor dad
-think and grow rich
-the richest man in Babylon
-how to win friends and influence people
-outwitting the devil
 

GetBetter

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You're putting the cart before the horse. Focusing on pick up when you feel miserable alone will only compound the ****tiness because women will pick up on desperation and find out that you don't even like yourself, so why should they? The same thing with money. Money isn't required for a Dom mindset. Time is your most precious commodity, spend it doing something you find worth, with people you find worthy. Grind hard and never stop.
I have screenshot this and will set it as Screen Wallpaper. I think I should just be focusing on my work and give permission to myself to enjoy, feel good, be dominant etc.


Whatever is concerning you the most right now, learn about that. Sounds like it’s money. Sounds like you’re young too. Read about money.

Books. Simple list (there are better more detailed ones these are the classics)

-rich dad poor dad
-think and grow rich
-the richest man in Babylon
-how to win friends and influence people
-outwitting the devil
I will be 23 soon. I have read Rich Dad Poor Dad, Think and Grow Rich and few chapters of Richest Man in Babylon and How to Win Friends and Influence people. Assets and using money to create money. Right now my main focus is to make money to invest it somewhere. I am currently investing in Mutual Funds. The returns are really low.

I am interested in knowing about good Mental Diet as you suggested. What constitutes it? What all should I be following? I am cutting down on Social Media and Phone usage in general from 20th June when my workshop is done.

It's been 3months since I have been going to Gym. Body is showing minimal changes but yeah it feels great. My Art is being appreciated at levels I never expected - Art Magazines and Instagram pages want to feature them. I feel I am lacking in sense of travelling and adventure. There's nothing that gives me a rush that's why I thought pickup might be a good outlet. I lack good social skills, social circle and being outspoken. I have a friend who is a comedian, and well renowned in my city. Maybe I should seek his help?
 
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samspade

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For me this is what has helped my attitude/disposition:

- Meditation (often using affirmations - some guided stuff on YouTube helps)
- Running (or other cardio)
- Eliminating coffee. It made me irritable.
- Being true to myself and doing what I want to do in life, easily the most important.
 

GetBetter

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I do agree I feel like a loser and I need some wins in life. I applied for jobs and I might get one. I will be starting a business soon but I am not working as hard as I should be!

I feel like I do not even know what I want from life. I write goals, after thorough thought and after every few months I fall all out of place and feel like **** - Is this what I really want?

I showed symtomps of herpes and as soon as I got those I started having suicidal thoughts.

Currently I have started writing Journal and self therapy from a book I read years ago about depression.

My plans to move to Canada have cancelled and now my parents have given me money instead to invest it or make best use of it "This is the last time we can help you. We are sorry but we have no money left after this". I do not even have a degree and now I feel I am too old to even apply for bachelors...

The only way I can think to get a win is maybe maintain a physical calender, write things to accomplish each day, check them off and seeing that daily will help me...I am so frustrated that I am not working hard and now I am even giving up on my passion - art. Giving up's for losers!

Sorry for being a cry baby but right now it feels like I am shooting arrows in the dark.
 

speed dawg

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I do agree I feel like a loser and I need some wins in life. I applied for jobs and I might get one. I will be starting a business soon but I am not working as hard as I should be!

I feel like I do not even know what I want from life. I write goals, after thorough thought and after every few months I fall all out of place and feel like **** - Is this what I really want?

I showed symtomps of herpes and as soon as I got those I started having suicidal thoughts.

Currently I have started writing Journal and self therapy from a book I read years ago about depression.

My plans to move to Canada have cancelled and now my parents have given me money instead to invest it or make best use of it "This is the last time we can help you. We are sorry but we have no money left after this". I do not even have a degree and now I feel I am too old to even apply for bachelors...

The only way I can think to get a win is maybe maintain a physical calender, write things to accomplish each day, check them off and seeing that daily will help me...I am so frustrated that I am not working hard and now I am even giving up on my passion - art. Giving up's for losers!

Sorry for being a cry baby but right now it feels like I am shooting arrows in the dark.
I am very similar to you.

What you must realize is that you likely have some very good leadership skills disguised way down inside of you. I'm still trying to cultivate my own. But you really, really have to be careful to not let your cynicism and negativity, and really your dislike of others, to overtake you. It's difficult.

Self-discipline and hard physical activity is where to start, at least it was for me. You have to constantly prove things to yourself or you risk using those judgmental traits that come so naturally, on yourself. Make sure you accomplish something every day. You have to start living on purpose. When I don't do these things, I become disappointed in myself, and depression soon follows.
 

Spaz

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I do agree I feel like a loser and I need some wins in life. I applied for jobs and I might get one. I will be starting a business soon but I am not working as hard as I should be!

I feel like I do not even know what I want from life. I write goals, after thorough thought and after every few months I fall all out of place and feel like **** - Is this what I really want?

I showed symtomps of herpes and as soon as I got those I started having suicidal thoughts.

Currently I have started writing Journal and self therapy from a book I read years ago about depression.

My plans to move to Canada have cancelled and now my parents have given me money instead to invest it or make best use of it "This is the last time we can help you. We are sorry but we have no money left after this". I do not even have a degree and now I feel I am too old to even apply for bachelors...

The only way I can think to get a win is maybe maintain a physical calender, write things to accomplish each day, check them off and seeing that daily will help me...I am so frustrated that I am not working hard and now I am even giving up on my passion - art. Giving up's for losers!

Sorry for being a cry baby but right now it feels like I am shooting arrows in the dark.
Stop talking, writing a journal or blogging about ur failures.

All its ever going to do is reinforce negativity into ur psyche, which is something really hard to get rid off.

Go make a new thread.

In that new thread post only of wins.

Baby steps, it means doing easy simple stuff that's so easy to do, stuff that you can't possibly fail.

For example, you wish to help a homeless man, go out and randomly buy him lunch or maybe pay him to clean ur house, thinking that if everyone in this world does it randomly, then the homeless won't be so downtrodden.

You did ur part in a greater good, then this will be absorbed into ur psyche.

So create more easy to win battles that pulls you out of the loser frame into a winning frame.

This gives you confidence after an accumulation of wins.

Confidence from one's life can sell millions of ideas to millions of people earning you millions of dollars.
 

kbbroiler1971

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My advice would be to lift weights because it gives an amazing release. Then also doing cardio exercises and then yoga. Then mediation may work. Also my advice and I do this every payday. I go to a registered massage therapist. Not a rub and tug an actual massage legit massage place. It does wonders and you will feel better all way around.
 
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