Grrr ... Constant rejection/being ignored impacting on self-esteem - how to avoid?

[Firefly]

So have been having a bit of a downturn with women lately, which is impacting on my self-esteem. Almost all women I have been asking out have either rejected me or just ignored my attempts to contact them. One girl who I took out a few times even ended up making a date and going home with a guy she met at a bar while we were out on a "Date".

I have taken a few steps to try to overcome this:

a. Weight Loss. I have let myself go recently, and managed to creep up to 30 pounds above my ideal weight. I think this may have a big impact on my recent lack of success. I have put myself on a diet and excercise regime, and have already lost 8 pounds in the last two weeks.

b. Social visibility. I am in a situation where I have a chance to meet a lot of attractive young women and organised a lot of activities which gave me social proof. I stopped for awhile due to work commitments,. However, I am starting up again which has already caused one expression of interest.

However, I am still feeling the crushing weight of insecurity which is beginning to impact on my day to day activities. Any suggestions for useful things to keep in mind or other things I can do to increase my attractiveness would be greatly appreciated.

 

[EA Gold]

I would recommend taking your mind off women for now and just focus on improving yourself and your confidence. If you keep doing what your doing, over and over again. Your going to get the same results.

 

[IamJosan]

I think this is the perfect time to reflect and become aware of your mistakes and fix them.

 

[Jariel]

It happens to us all. You just have to assess yourself and try to work out why you're getting rejected and what you can do to improve it.

Some years ago I was overwhelmed with female attention, then when my ex dumped me last year, suddenly I couldn't get any interest whatsoever. I got rejected and even had a girl just walk out mid way through a date.

I took a time out and looked at myself. I'd let myself go during the last year of my relationship, lost a lot of muscle and got quite podgy. What's more, my ex dumping me had really damaged my confidence and I felt intimidated by women. Also, because I'd been out of practice during my relationship I didn't really know how to flirt.

So, I hit the gym and changed my diet (high protein, low carbs). I started getting back into shape...in fact, I got into the best shape of my life and everybody was starting to notice and compliment me on it. Girls were now really into me in terms of looks, which got my foot in the door, so to speak. My confidence issues were a problem for a while, but the more I dated, the more comfortable I started to feel. Within about 8 months I was playing the field and fighting the women off...as I am right now.

My advice would be to focus on your looks for now, try to drop some bodyfat and gain some lean muscle (check the H+F forum on this site), and pay attention to the way you dress and groom yourself, change your image perhaps. It'll make you feel a lot better about yourself!

 

[Maxtro]

It happens to us all. You just have to assess yourself and try to work out why you're getting rejected and what you can do to improve it.

Some years ago I was overwhelmed with female attention, then when my ex dumped me last year, suddenly I couldn't get any interest whatsoever. I got rejected and even had a girl just walk out mid way through a date.

I took a time out and looked at myself. I'd let myself go during the last year of my relationship, lost a lot of muscle and got quite podgy. What's more, my ex dumping me had really damaged my confidence and I felt intimidated by women. Also, because I'd been out of practice during my relationship I didn't really know how to flirt.

So, I hit the gym and changed my diet (high protein, low carbs). I started getting back into shape...in fact, I got into the best shape of my life and everybody was starting to notice and compliment me on it. Girls were now really into me in terms of looks, which got my foot in the door, so to speak. My confidence issues were a problem for a while, but the more I dated, the more comfortable I started to feel. Within about 8 months I was playing the field and fighting the women off...as I am right now.

My advice would be to focus on your looks for now, try to drop some bodyfat and gain some lean muscle (check the H+F forum on this site), and pay attention to the way you dress and groom yourself, change your image perhaps. It'll make you feel a lot better about yourself!

Is improving your body the best (only) way to get women back interested in you?

Then when women are more attracted to you, you get more dates and your confidence starts to rebuild?