Growing Up: My 1st "Master Don Juan" Post

Señor Fingers

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Remember being a kid and thinking that 20 was a distant age you would never reach? How about 30? 40?? No way dude, I'll never be that old!

Funny how the future tricks us into thinking that it's so far away, yet the past seems like one long yesterday. The illusion of time becomes apparent with enough perspective, yet sadly enough, if there is anything that most people fail to do with age, it's actually GROW UP.

I mean why should we anyway? What incentive is there? This world we live in WORSHIPS youth. With something so lively and full of promise constantly shoved down our throats, who the hell wants to think about the inevitable decay and demise we must all face?

It's one of those catch 22's though.. for to embrace that very emptiness is one of the vital keys to maturity. The fact that we are here for such a finite blink of time is very sobering and quite unforgiving of our indulgences.

Making Friends with Death

Imagine yourself surrounded by your family as you are about to kick the big one. They say you can feel the end coming and now you realize it's true. It is time to look back and reflect before saying goodbye.

• What do you see in this life of yours?
• What legacy are you leaving behind?
• What would you give anything to change?
• What would you not change for anything in the world?

Let the thoughts, images and feelings overwhelm you for a minute..really absorb the gravity of the situation. You. Are. Going. To. DIE.

Snap back to the present and breathe deeply. Really absorb the power of this moment right now, because it's the only one you can actually DO something with.

That's a big step towards growing up right there - recognizing the simple universal rule of cause and effect. You are building your destiny as you read these words, whether you realize it or not.

When you take a step back and see the big picture of your life, you have no choice but to be accountable for everything you do.

Accepting Responsibility

Ever corner a child who has done something wrong and is totally busted? They never come clean do they? It's often entertaining to see just how far the imagination goes to cover up one's paper trail. The blame game is a child's favorite and they become veritable masters at it over time. In this sense, some of the biggest children are actually adults.

It's not easy to face up to yourself and because of this people have a tendency to completely ignore the ways that they have manipulated, usurped and tormented others throughout their lifetime.

Even harder than that is seeing the way we have sabotaged ourselves time and time again. Outside influences are our favorite scapegoats and like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, we will come up with some serious whoppers to justify our actions (or inactions).

What's really crazy is that we often take responsibility for things we shouldn't. Like other people's love or feelings towards us.

There are few things less empowering than carrying the weight of things we have no control over, so half the battle is knowing exactly what you are responsible for, the other half is accepting it fully.

Once you own up to what needs to be done, it's time to tune into that funky beat the universe is always blasting

Change

Something different is needed at some point in our lives. We may be creatures of habit, but we are also need to be shaken up now and then to feel alive! It is part of our genetic heritage to crave change.

Before civilization was a pipe dream, we spent countless millenia as nomadic wanderers, living off the land. Our environment was constantly shifting and we were in sync with the pulse of the world.

Compare that to modern life as we all climb into the same drab, square boxes day after day and repeat the same tasks over and over to a soundtrack of deafening monotony. Is it any wonder why something deep inside tells us that something is wrong?

Change is the basis of all life, and the world as we know it. Without change all we have is stasis, which equals DEATH. It's terribly ironic how the one thing we fear most actually happens to us on a daily basis by our own volition.

The most mature people I know not only accept change, they relish in it!

These are the folks who leave their jobs or bad relationships for better opportunities before things get ugly. They are the risk-takers, the world travelers and unsung heroes in a society where change terrifies almost as much as death itself.

They are the ones with "soul", totally in tune with their own needs and perpetually synced to the ebb and flow of this unfolding metamorphosis that unifies us all.

Balance

While change is essential to our development, running from one extreme to another can actually be destructive. Like they say, too much of anything is no good for you!

Let me use my experiences here as an example:

Before SoSuave
• Beautiful women are noble, precious creatures to be worshipped
• Gifts and supplication = Poon
• Everyone loves a nice guy
• Flattery will get you everywhere
• Call her back immediately and leave a longggg message on her voicemail.

After SoSuave
• Beautiful women are trifling brats with no scruples
• Negs + C&F x Push / Pull = Poon
• Everyone loves a bad boy
• Compliments are for suckers
• Call her exactly XX days later or you will die alone and sexless!

I definitely did get more action after coming here, but it took me a while to see that it really wasn't the kind of action I wanted. When you are an assh0le, it's only natural to find yourself surrounded by trifling and worthless hoes.

This is why when you hear people make very pronounced generalizations, it should make you skeptical. Folks who use words like NEVER or ALWAYS excessively tend to have a limited perspective, often tainted by trauma or their own shortcomings. They lack balance and as such, their advice should be taken with a fukkin truckload of salt.

It's great for us to educate ourselves, but let's not forget the value of an open mind, otherwise we run the risk of becoming SEDUCTION FUNDAMENTALISTS, and that is no better or more enlightened than being AFC, for both paths lead to endless frustration.

Putting things further into perspective, sometimes we need to take a pause from the DJisms and address what's really important to us.

The Virtues of Youth

While we are talking balance, let me just say that this whole mature thing can also be taken too far. There are certain facets of our youth we should never let go of, because they nourish and replenish our spirit:

• Imagination - Creating a universe where ANYTHING is possible
• Hope - Looking forward without fear or a jaded heart
• Wonder - Insatiable curiosity of the world around us
• Awe - Appreciating the things that leave us speechless
• Playfulness - Doing stupid sh!t, goofing off and having FUN

A well-rounded adult, who happens to be a kid at heart is a GEM in today's world. So few people are able to strike the right balance of "responsible" vs "carefree". We live in a society of extremes where you either work hard or play hard, but a man that does both carries around with him an innate magnetism that people find irresistable.

This is probably one of the biggest facets of that elusive quality we call "charm". It is refreshing to meet someone who is clearly ahead of the game on so many levels, but is able to enjoy himself and the company of others, because he is above no one. Which brings me to

Humility

Pride is one of our greatest adversaries in life. I'm not talking about the healthy kind where you pat yourself on the back for a job well done, I'm talking about false and blinding kind, where you are convinced that you've "arrived" and there is nowhere left to go.

The truth is that none of us is will ever be "All Grown Up". Maturity is not a destination, it's a state of mind built on experience and willingness to learn.

The world is rife with masters in many shapes and disguises, but if you walk around thinking you are the sh!t, you will miss them! Nothing will deter your growth into manhood more than convincing yourself that your work here is done.

On the other hand, nothing will make you more fulfilled, happy and attractive than a hunger for growth and daily action to make your ideal world happen in front of your eyes.

Seduction isn't just something we do for women, it happens every time we attract the forces and elements we want in our lives. It is the magical art of transforming DESIRE into REALITY.

With this in mind, I challenge every one of you to seduce this wild mistress called Life. She has a world of possibilities to offer a fella who can handle her properly, yet she will chew up and spit out those who refuse to evolve into the men they were destined to be.
 
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reset

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I'm gonna fvck the hell out of life! Good post. Good for me because I actually see myself doing the stuff you brought up, already. I wouldn't mind slowing time down, since it's an illusion, but what can you do. Just "choose".
 

KontrollerX

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reset said:
I'm gonna fvck the hell out of life!
LOL, very Mike Tyson-esque quote from you reset. :p :crackup:

Anyway though excellent post fingz. :up:
 

romangod

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I've had to make friends with death recently and it has humbled me.

Great post, Senor!
 

LoneSilver

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Standing ovation.....still standing one hour later....... great post senor fingers.

LoneSilver
 

Bonhomme

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:up: :up:

And big toes up, too, Fingz.

The only constant in life is change. The key is not to expect smooth sailing, but to ride the inevitable waves and currents -- including some that are strong enough upset your ship or throw you off course -- as best as possible, and enjoy the trip as much as possible.

It appears you're doing so quite well, Fingz. Good on ya!
 

Señor Fingers

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Bonhomme said:
The key is not to expect smooth sailing, but to ride the inevitable waves and currents -- including some that are strong enough upset your ship or throw you off course -- as best as possible, and enjoy the trip as much as possible.
That is precisely where most people fall short. Either they expect the worst and create a self-fulfilling prophecy, or they are blindly optimistic and eventually become bitter when things don't turn out like they had hoped.

People don't understand the value of pragmatism these days, we have lost touch with our warrior spirits, there are few fighters left! :box:
 

Bonhomme

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So true, Fingz.

Perseverance is so often the most important thing of all.
 

TheGameMaster

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bump for anyone who hasnt read this yet. imagine enlightenment x 10 and if the material here is taken on board, your in for a treat!
 

samspade

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Folks who use words like NEVER or ALWAYS excessively tend to have a limited perspective, often tainted by trauma or their own shortcomings.
Only a Sith deals in absolutes! :D

Great post, man. Well-rounded, thoughtful, and well-written. Gave me a chance to pause and consider.
 

Señor Fingers

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Wow, I totally forgot about this little nugget. Thanks for the accolades all :D

As a footnote to this post, can I just say how immature I perceive my own actions from just a few months ago - Long story short, I was caught up in petty BS with friends, tolerating all kinds of nonsense before putting my foot down and marking my limits.

This is something that my boy Interceptor talks lot about, which I forgot to mention here. Personal Boundaries are a crucial part of growin up. As youngsters we strive to please everyone, often having difficulty with the word "NO" for fear of how we would be perceived. But at some point you stop and think to yourself

"Wait a cotton-picking minute! WTF am I bending over backwards for here? And who is this person to make such demands?? Is this an arrangement which benefits both parties or just one?"

Let me tell you - nothing will put all of this into perspective faster than impending fatherhood (being responsible for a life besides your own). My hope is that it won't take you guys the same extremes to "draw the line" for yourselves.

PS - Rollo made a GREAT POST on this subject, and how it specifically applies to women. :up:
 
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