Growing through the Mud: Lotus' Journey to Evolution!

[Lotus Effect]

First of all, always remember:
Nobody Cares!
With that said I salute you all, myself included.​

After an extended period of confusion, clouded by the emotional AFC that lives inside all of us, I decided to grow. And there is no better way to measure growth than recording all of my actions in the journey to become a better man. In here I will post some FR, LR, txt excerpts and challenges I'm willing to take, for example the DJ Bootcamp (Even though I'm way ahead in game, I believe it may be an excelent experiment)

Even though I like writing, and I usually end up writing more than I initially meant, I'll try to keep things as concise and short as possible, otherwise, not even me would bother reading this sh*t! With that said, in this first post I'll put some background on how I ended up in here, and I'll write some of the new experiences I had in these last few months.
(Damn, it might get long)

Well, like must of us, I was crushed by being dumped by my Ex. I just could not handle that. Appart from many though, I was already aware of PUA and game way before dating this girl, but never being in a relationship made me sail through uncharted waters, and I never even though that game was fundamental to mantain one. Oh well!

Knowing about game, instead of trying to get her back after being dumped through "natural" ways, begging, pleading, crying... I tried through game, which also proved to be innefective, specially because I was still an AFC with a facade. Anyway, after several mistakes and several flakes, I ended up in here thanks to the post "What to do when a woman flakes on you".

The best thing that ever happened.

If I have not made all those mistakes. If I went NC the day she dumped me straigh away, I would never ended up in here. And it amazes even me, but I would never imagine that it would be such a fair trade...
...A cheaty sl*t, for the Red Pill! (Which is hard to swallow though)

Anyway, I cried over her the last few months, but today, 44 days after full NC, although it was Beta-ish, I'm feeling way more confident, I fully realise what happened in my relationship, and how my betaness killed it, I'm way way more aware in women behaviour and psychology and most of all, I'm game again. I changed so much since I logged in for the first time, that I don't even recognize myself anymore. Which is good! It's funny reading my first posts. Such an AFC. I hope that a year from now, this post would be funny as well!

So today, I'm taking the 30 days to a better man Challenge, which I believe it suits me more right now. And the first challenge is to define my core values. Tuff!

Besides that, going to a party with some college chicks I've met last thursday! :cheer:

On a personal note, I'd like to thank many guys in here that helped me so much so far, some directly and many indirectly!
So Thanks to PairPlusRoyalFlush, Solomon, PlayHer Man, Jariel, Culebra, tripod23, nismo-4, Renegade357, Machtwo, bradd80 and many others I can't recall right now! In time I will repay you all guys!

And now, to evolution!

 

[tripod23]

good luck on your journey fella

 

[NewJack]

wow. What an amazing masculine spirit and energy is communicated between the lines of this post. I can't help but feel inspired just reading this stuff!

After an extended period of confusion, clouded by the emotional AFC that lives inside all of us, I decided to grow. And there is no better way to measure growth than recording all of my actions in the journey to become a better man.

Wow man. A lot of people throw words around like this but it sounds like there is some gasoline in your engine! Congrats man. It honestly sounds like, in having this attitude, you've already won the game.

 

[Lotus Effect]

First off, I'd like to say I'm sorry!

I fell ashamed I could not put a single entry in this journal!
My intent was to write every week to record my progress. But as a week went by, I said 'Ahh, forget about that!' And as time progressed I felt even worse to come here and post anything... Just let it die peacefully I thought to myself!

So, I'm asking forgiveness to myself, the real one, the one that wants to grow and know, and to you guys who supported me and believed me!

And it is not that I haven't made any improvement since I started this thread. It is exactly the opposite. I've had a threesome, I've banged 8 girls already after the breakup, Working out is now a daily habit, and I'm feeling way better about my breakup. I don't fell that awful pain anymore. It still sucks, but now I've faced reallity as it is! And I'm ok with that!

But I decided going back, and restart writing this journal, because it really put things into perspective, and it gives me an outlook of what I want to do VS what I've done!

So, without any further delay, I want to be open to myself!

After all these improvements, as I've said on another post, the burning fuel that I had inside of me because of being dumped is over. So pretty much anything I do from now on, is raw self motivation, without any outside factor!

Stupidly enough, instead of putting all my great insights and all that I have achieved with said fuel in this post, I've spreaded them like cream cheese, and now it is everywhere. But in order to make this sh*t a journal, and to track down things I've done and learned, I'll make a list of everything good or even bad if it helped me learn something in this time I've did not post anything in here.

- F*cked 8 girls since the ex
- Had a threesome
- Quit my dead end job
- Joined the gym (And liked doing it)
- Got over depression
- Learned the habit of writing
- Made lots of new friends and got inside 3 new social circles
- Quited McDonalds

...Well, that is quite a short list after all! haha! Still I'm proud of myself.

Anyway, that is the main reason I decided I should be writing in here! When i look at my posts from last year I can read the words of a man with will, strong words, from a guy with strong action! And as hard as it is to admit, I got lazy, and confortable again. Even though I'm doing really good with the ladies, we all know it is not all about that!

And in the same fashion, I'll put down my objectives, for me to follow through, daily, weekly and if god helps me and this site remains, for the rest of my life.

This is the list of things I must do by the end of this week.

Work area:
- Prepare a cover letter
- Update my LinkedIn
- Write a standart email body to send companies
- Send at least 5 emails a day
- Take an hour of my day to read "Guerrilla Marketing for Job Hunters 2.0"

Band:
- Stablish a Visual Identity
- Organize ALL the music, videos, and photos in a single folder
- Contact at least 3 producers, other bands, or venue to set up Shows
- Write a standart email with 3 Demos on it so spread
- Sing at least 30 minutes daily
- Start the cover list. Have at least 3 cover songs defined until sunday

Personal:
- Keep writing in this f*cking journal, daily
- Make a daily schedulle of tasks to optmize my time
- Meditate not once a day, but TWICE!
- Avoid using the cellphone for pointless stuff
- Finish organizing my room
- Sleep early. Wake up Earlier!

About the Social area, I'm going to leave this one aside, since I gave it too much attention in the last 6 months. I have a decent number of plates spinning (three), I'm about to f*ck the last to girls and finish my 'Go F*ck Ten Other Women Challenge', and even better, Monday the Anti AA Competion will begin, so I won't have to worry with putting down the tasks myself! (And because I'm Jobless and bankrupt)

Also, I'm doing the One Hundred Pushups Challenge, which is really great. I'm in the middle of the second week now, and this is some sh*t I'm meaning to end! (Thanks to Maximus Rex for posting this somewhere)

I'd like also to thank narcissist. His journal inspired me to go through with mine! Thanks man! It really motivated me!

Anyway this is it! Now on to a tomorrow better than today!

Cheers!

EDIT: If anyone reading this knows how can I make a daily schedulle. Something like a phone app, or excel, or the good old agenda. I've struggled this once, and not knowing which can be best made me quit doing it! Any ideas are welcomed