Groundhog Day

[Wilko]

Here's a hypothetical question.

First, let's take pvssy out of the equation; you're not trying to nail her and you're not trying to nail anyone in her social circle. How many women do you know who would still be worth hanging out with? I'm thinking along the lines of someone who pulls their weight, tells great stories, shares similar world-views, and is fairly generous with their time and their DVD collection. Her suppressed gag reflex is irrelevant to this discussion!

So, how many?

I know two; a seven and a six. The seven is taken and I nearly did the six but she proved painfully vanilla; otherwise she's never been a drag.

Apart from those two the scores of 25-35 year old women I've chatted/dated and occasionally bedded just blend into one homogenous mass of tedious femininity. Oh, you're in admin/marketing/social work and you're all about winery tours, overseas travel and music festivals. Didn't I date you last week, and the week before that? Apparently you're "a bit crazy and out there", but I get the feeling I'll be carrying the entire conversation again tonight.

Maybe the pysch student will surprise me with her breathtaking insight.....errr, nope. Perhaps the engineer will teach me something fascinating....denied again. Ah come on! Surely the ageing "dance instructor" will be an engaging conversationalist....ffffuuuuUUUUUU.....good thing she's got that suppressed gag reflex going for her.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Good post Wilko,
It just goes to exhibit that most people in general are well....boring. This isn't just women. Guys fall prey to this as well. Why else would there be available men/women otherwise. They'd be taken and captivated by interesting guys/gals. I know what you are saying though. I've felt the same way dating. Rarely do I find a chick that can hold a conversation about anything other than what you are describing. If I see another one with a picture of her and her girlfriends holding wineglasses at a tasting.....Now give me one that's climbed Kilimanjaro, or distributing aid packets in Haiti. That's my girl. Unfortunatley they are rare commodities. It's as if the most people are having to use all their energy to just get by. That's why I think you don't see too many with hobbies that are interesting. The grind of work and mere survival is too much for most. So they come home and vegetate. They don't do things that keep them moving forward socially. Hence your homogonous mass of femininity. I don't worry about it too much. I'd rather concern myself with my own self improvement and empire building. As my great aunt once told me, girls are like trolly cars, another will be along in awhile, keep fishing till you find one interesting.
KC

 

[thirdtimescharm]

Agree for the most part. If possible, it's good to keep a couple women around who you have messed around with, but have moved into the friend zone. I have three women in my life like this. They are always available to get a female point of view (though maybe that really isn't worth much, eh?), and hearing their dating stories is a learning experience.

 

[Wilko]

Cheers guys, I wrote that mainly for self-amusement but I think it nicely captures a certain reality about the world. In fact, I think it's a pretty definite stage of growth for a DJ; fully understanding that most women are unremarkable and quite replaceable. It's the opposite of one-itis, we need a word for that.

 

[Wilko]

They really do seem to think that everything they are saying is fascinating. And they take themselves awfully seriously. We have to stop indulging them.

It's like dating a real-life spambot right?!

Brothers in Charm, I've been merciless of late with any girls who have propositioned me with "hey, wanna chat"; not dismissive, merciless. I've told them to try again when they have something interesting to ask me (there's no shortage of openings they could pick up on). A few have tried again albeit unsuccessfully. Yes, I'm probably losing out on some easy lays but christ, going through the usual tedious routine yet again to get some very unremarkable pvssy is losing its appeal pretty quickly.

Lol, I have to ask, what's the next stage after this Rollo?

 

[Wilko]

I've actually started taking Klonopin before going on dates, not for anxiety but rather to quell the irritation I feel at listening to their inane chatter and to induce a beatific sense of obliviousness to whatever rubbish I have to listen to.

Is that you Hank Moody?

 

[Wilko]

There was an insightful post at artofmanliness.com that I think indirectly addresses what we're talking about here.

http://artofmanliness.com/2011/06/05/the-5-switches-of-manliness-challenge/

The article references "Is There Anything Good About Men" by Dr. Roy R. Baumeister.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/01...17153&creative=399349&creativeASIN=019537410X

I haven't read the book yet but several of the Amazon reviews pick up on this idea:

"Baumeister illustrates that men have great interpersonal relationship skills (which is not what the feminists claim), and that men use these in a larger social setting, whereas women have great interpersonal skills and tend to use these in more intimate 1:1 settings."

And,

"The reason men dominate culture and rule the world, he observes, is not that men are superior to women or have designed patriarchy to oppress women but rather that culture grew out of male relationships, which resulted in large structures containing many people (whether to engage in trade or in war), and thus men were always in charge. Whereas women, in Baumeister's view, seek close one-on-one relationships that are not culture-building."

I think that goes some way to explaining the dissatisfaction we're experiencing. The best conversations for me are those where I have an opportunity to be inventive, grow an idea or solve a problem....not unlike this one!