Grew some balls, told a chick I liked her...

[moneyisking]

I know PUA communities usually say don't tell a girl you like her, but in this situation, I knew her for awhile, and I just didn't have enough courage to say I liked her, so it was pretty much dead stale since we been friends for awhile. The response as you might imagine was "let's just be friends"

surprisingly I am happy that I just got over with it, b/c it was going to drag me on if I hadn't said as how I saw it was. I made a decision, I took an action and risk, and I am happy I did, so don't bag me too much for telling a girl I liked her haha.

I usually don't take risks and I have avoided doing so for very long time. Now that I have done it, it will be easier to take more risks, sh!t you learn as you go. good to know you guys have my back bros. peace

 

[GotED?]

You have just lost your frame, bro - we didn't teach you this, did we. AFC behavior. I hope you do better next time.

Leave her if she's not interested, be indifferent, move on, have other options. What you did was the exact opposite. She had little interest and what is left is gone after you claimed your affection towards her.

With respect,

Exodus

 

[BowTie]

Congrats on having the courage to say you liked her. While it isn't necessarily "alpha", it still took some balls. Focus that energy on solid game now.

 

[d!ckmojo]

This is the sort of sh1t that I have done before, and its not cool.

Remember, all chicks are narcissists. They all think every guy likes them anyway, so, when you come out and say it, in their heads they're like "yeah, der!", and it lowers their view of you in their eyes.

Rather, flip the script and act like YOU'RE the one who everyone wants to get with. When you interact with the girl you like, infuse the dialogue with suggestive sub-script insinuating that she's so into you. Make it seem like she's the one wants you, which you find mildly amusing, and she will lap it up.

Even come right out and accuse her straight up of digging you (playfully, mockingly, sarcastically, even playing it straight, or exaggerating it). What's the worst she can do? Deny it? Then just pay her out for lying.

The only way chicks have attraction for guys is if guys are dominant and control the frame. If you're scared of her not accepting whatever frame you present, whatever frame that may be, then there's no chance she will ever be attracted to you.

 

[zekko]

surprisingly I am happy that I just got over with it, b/c it was going to drag me on if I hadn't said as how I saw it was. I made a decision, I took an action and risk, and I am happy I did, so don't bag me too much for telling a girl I liked her haha.

I know people are going to rag on you for saying you liked her. But it sounds to me like you were kind of hung up on this girl, maybe even knew it wasn't going to end well, and just wanted some sort of closure. And that is borne out by the fact that you were happy that you got it over with.

You took your shot, you know it's not going to happen, you can move on now and have peace of mind, without wondering what if? So I say congratulations.

 

[Atom Smasher]

That was a step you probably had to take, but now you need to ramp up your game and use covert means to work on women.

Girls only want the guy who can do just fine without her, and most important, a guy who has more perceived intrinsic value than her. That's where flirting and teasing come in. Flirting and banter demonstrate that you have value and that she would be lucky to have you. Like another poster said, all girls think you like them, which is why their attitude is, "Now tell me something I don't know" if you tell them.

I agree with Zekko that it sounds like you needed to relieve the pressure and get resolution, and I can understand that. Now it't time to shift away from direct disclosure and start playing them like a fish on the line.

 

[vatoloco]

Although it's good to have balls, next time, don't be Playing Friends with a chick you like.

Ask her out. She digs & she accepts? Game on and move forward. She doesn't dig & she declines? Game over and move on.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Although it's good to have balls, next time, don't be Playing Friends with a chick you like.

Ask her out. She digs & she accepts? Game on and move forward. She doesn't dig & she declines? Game over and move on.

What he said. Never come at chicks directly. Girls communicate with other girls via hinting. Why? Because they instinctively are good at picking up on stuff even when it's subtle. The more direct you are, the more "in your face" it is to her instincts and it comes across as being too much.

If you wanted to know if she liked you beyond friendship, all you had to do was ask her out. It's really that simple.

BTW, I'm sure you'll get other responses like this. We're not here to rag on you per se, but we've all had this experience ourselves. I had a girl in college that I KNEW was flirting with me in class on a regular basis, who I ended up telling I liked, and she started treating me all funny style after that and making up excuses not to be around me. (She's the one that drove me to find this site, lol.) Shoot, even once you've got them as your girlfriend it's best not to go blabbing your feelings to her all the time. #lessonlearned

 

[NobodyCares1]

Good that you have grown some balls, no go and use them to actually pick up girls. I've been in the same situation as you year ago. I knew she would LJBF me but I still had to do it. That's the point where my game began to develop.

Up untill that point I was a coward, an AFC. After that I felt much less pressure when talking to girls, I knew that I did something that scared me, I overcame my fear and I knew I could do it again, for it wasn't as hard as I thought. After a month I got my first cold approach pick up. Everything was better since then.

So go and use your new grown balls wisely.

 

[moneyisking]

whoa, some amazing inputs you guys give me, thanks very much. Now to respond to some of yal, I am moving on, I have no remorse or any residue left with her, so I can keep going up the ladder in peace and determination. I won't call it indifference, but there's nothing b/t me and her so just moving on.
I never thought about how all girls were narcissists and think all guys like them. like you suggested, I should frame it as them liking me, and me busting their balls for it. lol that's genius. I won't tell a girl I like them, but ya ask them out. the thing with her though, was I did ask her out 3 times perhaps, but made lame excuses, so I just had to cut this feelings off by going for it and get rejected. And yes you sirs are right, learning continues

 

[Freddy.k]

This is actually a good thing.

In life You have to take risk, for what is life without risk.
And as Pook said : "The greatest risk You can take in life is not to risk it all".

 

[Harry Wilmington]

I won't tell a girl I like them, but ya ask them out. the thing with her though, was I did ask her out 3 times perhaps, but made lame excuses, so I just had to cut this feelings off by going for it and get rejected. And yes you sirs are right, learning continues

That's the other thing you have to learn: that girls, while rarely ever being able to flat out say "no," will let you know in other ways that they don't like you. If you asked her out 3 times and got an excuse each time, it meant she wasn't interested. Girls who are interested:

1. Accept dates
2. Counter-offer when a specific day won't work for them
3. Ask YOU out as well via hinting (i.e. "Wow, the circus is in town - sure would be fun to go with someone...")

If they're not doing these things, they're not interested. But hey, now ya know!

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Telling a girl you like her is not about having balls. It is about being clueless in regards to the laws of attraction. Face it, you thought that by expressing your feelings, somehow, something was going to happen and she would jump into your arms and tell you how much she likes you too. This situation only happens in Hollywood.

The reality of why telling a girl you like her never works isn't about "the game". It is not about any ridiculous PUA jargon that you could think of. It is actually simple. If the chemistry between you two is so dead that you have to try and artificially create it by gushing with your feelings, then there was NO attraction to begin with. And you can't create attraction. It exists or it doesn't.

 

[vatoloco]

I won't tell a girl I like them, but ya ask them out. the thing with her though, was I did ask her out 3 times perhaps, but made lame excuses, so I just had to cut this feelings off by going for it and get rejected.

Well, there was your answer right there. You just didn't know where to look. If you had realized it earlier, you wouldn't have spilled your guts and gotten rejected.

But then again, maybe it was a good thing. "Experience teaches harshly but it teaches best..."

Edit: Oops, Harry beat me to it.

 

[VladPatton]

Although you did spill your guts, it wasn't necessary since she refused to go out with you 3 times. I would of left it alone at that point.

The thing now is that there is a high chance of a weirdness vibe if you still wanna be in her social circle. If you cut it off and never see her again, then you don't have to worry about it. But if you still want to be around her (don't know why you would at this point) she may avoid you like the plague.

 

[nismo-4]

You showed us a great way to give up your power and make the girl the prize! Attraction can't be created by telling a girl you like her. Don't say that. And you asked her out 3 times, she rejected you, and you just couldn't see that your princess was in another castle the whole time? Oh hell no. What made you think your game was gonna help you get closer to the girl? At best, you did nothing more than delay a rejection. Judge nismo is very disappointed in you.

You have been found guilty of confessing feelings, attempting to create attraction, clipping your balls, failure to maintain the frame as you being the prize, chasing disinterest, attemped creation of attraction, and unauthorized use of a pedestal. Your fine is 1 strained mind, which I'm dismissing because you decided to move on, 2 blue balls, 1 bruised shaft, 1 bruised ego, hurt feelings, and a trip to Friendzone Lake, Maine. You received this cold punishment because you've got a lot to learn.

From now on, don't confess feelings. Also, women who are interested in you WON'T CONFUSE YOU!

Case closed. Exit stage left.

 

[yyc12]

^^funny, and very true,

 

[moneyisking]

lol @nismo, I respect your words, that's a solid advice. but anyways, just to add on a bit, I will NEVER tell a girl that I like her from this point on; unless I am getting married I guess. The thing was though about the 3 dates was that there were lots of times when she would initiate kino and she accepted close kino from me, and sometimes she would say how we should hang out even after she came up with lame excuses. I was actually confused, b/c this chick is refusing dates, but throws little hints here and there. oh ya and I go to same classes with her and she is in a circle of my buddies, so I just plan to act very plain, and not get into any deeper conversations other than hello, what do you need, ok, bye. I don't believe in social awkwardness too much b/c it's all on set of mind. I am just going to act like it didn't impact me and live life as I do, and learn a shyt ton more about girls ahahaha!!!! I really appreciate your advices. honestly this situation was bit difficult for me b/c it was confusing as fuark, but it's over, it's an experience that I will def learn

 

[JohnChops]

Judge nismo does OP get an opportunity to appeal or is this merely a sentencing hearing?

does anyone else think Nismo should be a real judge some day? +1 for the sentencing hearing. He gave up his frame, lost control of his feelings, and didnt read the signs that she rejected him 3 times (softly.)

 

[NewAndImproved]

Telling a girl you like her doesn't require balls at all.

And this is coming from a guy who, in the past:

1. Emailed girls and confessed my feelings.
2. Called girls and confessed my feelings.
3. Met up with girls and confessed my feelings.

Don't get me wrong, it takes some balls. Maybe it's a requisite first step. But it's also a cop out. You think that with one quick and bold action, you can become a man.

Nope, doesn't work that way. No shortcuts here.

Leading the interaction from the first IOI to the bedroom (and so on...) is what takes balls.

No lame ass declaration (again I've done this myself many times) is going to get you there faster or easier.