"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Greatness achieved through effort

Shivastorm_88

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An interesting quote from a T.V. show that I currently am watching, Prison Break.

Recently, I started doing Moshka Yoga, mostly for physical reasons (want to get in better shape, and it helps my injured shoulder). However, I have noticed that it has helped me achieve a sort of higher inner peace. Nothing phenomenal, but I have noticed some differences in my way of thinking (although I do not think it comes from Yoga alone). After a session of quite intense Moshka, I was in a meditative stance, and while trying to empty my mind, my thoughts wandered to that quote. I might not have managed to empty my mind this time, but I think I got something far better off of it.

What does it mean, greatness achieved through effort? I think it's quite simple. You need to put effort into what you attempt to get any sort of satisfactory results. However, the meaning, on a personal level, is a bit more complex than that to me. To further explain this, I have to start with a quote from Pook: "After childhood, there are TRUE winners and losers in life." (Article Be a Man, p. 122).

In my opinion, if we take this to a black or white level, there is two ways to live life. Either sleep through it or live life. Either be defined by life, or define your own life. Losers are the ones that sleep through life, and they are the ones that are defined by life. This is the easy path to take, but like most easy path, not the most interesting, and by far not the most rewarding. After all, it is much more rewarding to achieve something after having worked on end for it, than simply to receive it freely. The winners are those who live their life to the fullest, and those who define their life.

So, how does one life his life to the fullest, and how does one define his life? In other words, how do you WIN at life? This is actually quite simple, although very hard to do. Simply remember the four key words: "Greatness achieved through effort". Whether your passion is martial arts, your job, climbing, hiking, arts, drawing, or any other hobby, it does not matter. They key to define your life is not which road you take. The key is how you approach the road. Some people have one passion and they will focus all their free time on it. Some people, however, do not have any passion and waste their time on silly things as television, the Internet, alcohol, video games, drugs, etc. Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against that (I personally own an X-BOX360, and I am a big fan of beer and scotches). However, these should be treated as augments to one's life, as the icing of the cake, not the cake itself. Besides, life has so much to offer, why waste yours away on petty illusions? Go out, explore, experiment, live and learn.

To bring this to a more personal level, I used to be in the latter category, the loser category. During highschool, I wasted my life on video games. Even through middle school between highschool and university, although I was changing my way of life, I was still wasting countless time on video games, television and the Internet. However, recently this has changed. Something triggered in me, the same thing that made me want to write this blog. I simply understood the concept of the quote. More than the meaning, the concept, and what it implies.

If I want to live an interesting life, if I want to define my own life, become in charge of my own destiny, I have to put effort into it. Nothing worth having can be gained without effort. This really is the key word. "Ever to excel" (Homer, in the Illiad). Whether it is to excel in a sport, or to be the best man I can, this requires effort. In fact, it requires constant effort and constant work. However, the end result makes it worth it.

Here is an interesting comparison, taking a sample day of this week, compared to a sample day of what I would have done a few years ago.

A few years ago
I have nothing to do for school, all my homework has been done already. Got a day off from work, and it's nice and sunny outside. I wake up at roughly 9 am, endless possibilities in front of me: Go roller-blading, go for a stroll, go hiking, go in a park, draw, do a sport, go see friends, etc. However, what do I choose to do? Play video games. All. Day. Long. Sure, I might be entertained, but it's easy entertainment. In the end, however, I will feel empty. I feel like I have accomplished nothing.

Now
I have nothing to do for school, all my homework has been done already. Got a day off from work, and it's nice and sunny outside. I wake up at roughly 9 am, endless possibilities in front of me: Go roller-blading, go for a stroll, go hiking, go in a park, draw, do a sport, go see friends, etc. What do I choose to do? First, I decide to go to do Yoga at 1:30pm. I have about 3 hours to kill, and it's raining outside... What to do? I draw. Yoga is now over, it is 3pm. I could go back home and play video games, after all, I did a hard activity today. No, I'd rather not. Go grab a coffee with a friend with whom I was doing Yoga, and we decide to go ice skating. It is now 8 pm, back home and ate, got once again nothing to do. Video games? No. I'd rather see some friends. Come back home at 11pm, again, video games? Again, no. I'd rather write this post, which for me has therapeutic values.

See the difference? Both are typical days, one for the old me, one for the new me. However, the old me does almost literally nothing but move his fingers. The new me is all around the place and does thing that make his life really interesting, whether it is sports, arts or social interaction.

Life is so promising and has so much to offer, why waste it? Instead, aim to achieve your own personal greatness.

To add to this post: I might seem like a motivational coach, trying to convince you to go out there and try everything the world has to offer... Although this is an interesting venue, it can also mean to do simple things as: Take an extra five minute to take better care of yourself, an extra five minutes of your time to help your friend out, etc. Greatness in itself is more than great acts.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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xdreamz

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i like your post shivastorm ... life is more about getting out there and putting effort into whatever you want to do. this is something that america needs to hear. when i was in china, i learned that it was though all my dedication that i put into finding what life has to offer was where i could find someone that suited my romantic interests at best. now that i moved back to america i noticed that i have fallen back into its lazy ways. everyone around me goes around in endless search for meaningless highs its hard not to get caught up in it. so right now i'm at this point where i'm getting academics in order and for free-time i'm on the computer just typing stuff out to get the **** off my chest. the day will come though where i will be living life to be great instead of sleeping on my dreams.
 

Shivastorm_88

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xdreamz said:
i like your post shivastorm ... life is more about getting out there and putting effort into whatever you want to do. this is something that america needs to hear. when i was in china, i learned that it was though all my dedication that i put into finding what life has to offer was where i could find someone that suited my romantic interests at best. now that i moved back to america i noticed that i have fallen back into its lazy ways. everyone around me goes around in endless search for meaningless highs its hard not to get caught up in it. so right now i'm at this point where i'm getting academics in order and for free-time i'm on the computer just typing stuff out to get the **** off my chest. the day will come though where i will be living life to be great instead of sleeping on my dreams.
I doesn't have to only be big things man. Small details as well. For example, you are getting ready to eat. Instead of settling for a pre-cooked meal or a frozen diner, why not cook yourself something? Sure it's more work, but the process is much more fun, and the end result is (hopefully) much better.

Simple steps like that. Always start with baby steps.
 

Diaforetikos

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everyone around me goes around in endless search for meaningless highs
Sadly this is what now defines America. But its ok because, "We should be able to do whatever makes us happy."... I hate that d**n phrase.
 

Ease

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I think you are confusing 'effort' with 'keeping busy'.

Maybe you are stuck too much in baby steps. This isn't extraordinary enough to count for anything.

And wtf are you doing yoga for? The only acceptable reason for yoga must be if your pulling mad girls, but it doesn't sound like it. Dont be a chode.

@ effort would be going out and approaching girls all day. Or going to a bar solo every night for a week and talking to people. Or going on a high intensity workout routine to up your physique. Picking up a second job for money. Going on a course. Going on a trip with a new group of people for some event.

A better advice would be 'being brave leads to improvement'. You can do yoga and see friends all week and still be a chode. But your guaranteed to see something interesting happen if you actually make it happen.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Shivastorm_88

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Ease said:
I think you are confusing 'effort' with 'keeping busy'.

Maybe you are stuck too much in baby steps. This isn't extraordinary enough to count for anything.

Whoever said anything about me being stuck in baby steps? I simply gave an answer of how xdreamz could make a difference if he feels that making a huge leap is too difficult right now.

And wtf are you doing yoga for? The only acceptable reason for yoga must be if your pulling mad girls, but it doesn't sound like it. Dont be a chode.

Conditioning. Before you post a stupid answer, do some research and good look up what Moshka Yoga is. Right now, you sound like an idiot.

@ effort would be going out and approaching girls all day. Or going to a bar solo every night for a week and talking to people. Or going on a high intensity workout routine to up your physique. Picking up a second job for money. Going on a course. Going on a trip with a new group of people for some event.


A better advice would be 'being brave leads to improvement'. You can do yoga and see friends all week and still be a chode. But your guaranteed to see something interesting happen if you actually make it happen.

Re-read what I wrote, then read this paragraph, and see what is wrong with it. The fact that I didn't give personal examples of goals I have set myself doesn't mean that I am stuck in baby steps. I am simply not sharing them.
Answer in bold.
 
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